There comes a time, everyone is different, in which we need to do our own housecleaning – physically, mentally and spiritually. I’ve lived in my current residence for just over a year accumulating a hoard of useless crap which simply needs to be thrown away; I simply need to go back to a more simplistic physically way of living. Mentally, I need to create a schedule sticking with it day in and out no matter what happens through the day. Spiritually, I simply need to reconnect to those powers that be as recently I feel the connection wither drastically. For me, it time for an over due spring cleaning.
Physically I need to clean my house room to room. Just not a casual dust or mop here or there. I need to change things up. I still have stuff in boxes from my move a year ago of useless crap I haven’t looked or used. I just need to say goodbye taking it to the curb. I’m in a position now where I can buy a whole new wardrobe if I want to. Jeans and shirts given to me by others I blindly accepted without thinking. Old shoes just sitting around. Lots of miscellaneous stuff laying around gathering dust. I have a bad habit of keeping things longer than I should because of “sentimental” value or the fear of losing something. Attachment. Staying in the past when I should be moving toward a future.
Honestly, mentally I’m about to break. There are days I just want to scream at the world. And..it has nothing to do with me nor my own life. I feel like I live in a world with unintelligent, stupid, ignorant, lazy people. I need to get back into a daily practice of meditation. Beginning and ending my days with peace and serenity. This also reminds me to be more humble. It doesn’t matter what others say or do, it only matters what I say or do and how I say or do it. Does what someone else say or do really matter in the whole scheme of things? Or am I just bringing the additional stress in my life thinking about such things.
Lastly, my connection spiritually has declined rapidly recently. As I walk down the street to work every night I tell myself, “I don’t care….” perhaps a hundred times or more. In actually I do. I need to reconnect to source(s) which remind me I’m not alone in thinking the way I do but there is better way to think and react the way I’m doing it now.
Sometimes you just have to sit yourself down, write it out and form a plan. Don’t think or analyze it. Just do it.
There is my plan for my upcoming weekend.
Reminder to Self – don’t forget to take long walks at night to enjoy the nice weather too!
The Wandering Enigma 
Wow. I can relate to this on so many levels… nice write. Relief to read. Tbh I think I’m too down at the moment to do all that which needs to be done re: my own spring cleaning. But this is inspiring. Thanks for sharing. :)) I like the AA readings you post, too!
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Isn’t that always the hardest part of an adventure, the first step? I’ve learned if you want something done, just do it. Don’t think about it. It helps get even more done than I realize. And thank you about the recovery posts. I enjoy them too but seeing them year after year makes me tend to skim them. Instead I need to really read each one and contemplate how it applies in my life. Glad to have you here!
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I agree 100%. There are times/seasons of doing, and there are times/seasons of contemplating, when life throws a few unexpected curveballs beyond our control. Better than overdoing and making things worse. That also fits in with the serenity prayer which I like a lot. Thank you for the kind words! :))
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Keep coming back, brother. You do live in a world of stupid, lazy people but that’s beside the point. We don’t have the luxury of having an issue with it because we just keep working on our own trainload of stuff. What you’re going through is quite normal on the path. You’ll get better.
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Exactly my thought after I wrote the entry. Haven’t we been this before a hundred times and gotten out alive, a few scratches maybe but alive. I also remember someone saying, “If life didn’t have it’s ups and downs, it would be flat, right? Then your dead.” Something to remember too.
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Indeed. I dig that you’re working through that stuff.
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