I just woke up at 730pm so that I could be ready for my ride to work tonight at 845pm. The weather is terrible outside. A few more inches have fallen, the roads are terrible. As I look at my phone, my friend called in to work. I’m at a quandary – do I go to work or just call in and accept the consequences.

I have to be grateful for a company to allow me to call in, get paid and not accept any consequence. So I called in three times, didn’t get a confirmation number and I can’t request to get paid and not an absence point (called Personal Protected Time). The system is apparently not working. UGH!

Unfortunately, for overnighter’s like myself, Fridays are a bad day to call in and report an absence. We now get paid weekly with the new pay period starting on Saturday. If I don’t rectify this now, I will get screwed (as I have in past experiences). That leaves me no choice but to go to work trudging throw the couple of inches of snow, snow squalls and bitter cold wind. It takes me about an 45 min to an hour to walk to work. Is my employer sympathetic during weather conditions? Nope. Do they care what measures I take to get to work? No. Do they care that their own absence system isn’t working and will correct such errors, if I call out, tomorrow? No (based on my experience where I work). They don’t care – you are schedule and unless with is a State Emergency (which hasn’t happened in the four years I have worked there), you have to show up to your scheduled shift or take measures to protect yourself. UGH.

My fear, if I stay home, I will not only screw myself at work but DRINK. The alcoholic mind – don’t go to work but walk to the local store to get beer in the same weather in which you won’t walk to work?? Insanity! It’s only been 48 hours since my last drink, so it’s in the back of my mind. However, I am making a change and sticking to you it. I’m going to work despite the harsh conditions.

I will not be resentful (or try not to be to the best ability I am right now) when I get there. I know others who can drive and live as close as I do will call in, so yes I will be jealous. I know my employer won’t get a damn what measures I took to get to work in my situation or the absence system is not working. Most likely they will say something like, “You came to work? Why? We would have taken care of it tomorrow?” I know their bullshit and it’s not going to fly with me. I will quietly keep to myself, trust in my Higher Power to help me through the night, do my job and go home.

I’m already crazy. So I’m doing what I need to do to 1) Keep my job and 2) Stay sober!

All I see in my mind is the scene from Lord of the Rings. Gandalf (me) on that stone bridge with staff held high, shining brightly. The demon on the other (alcoholism) roaring to destroy me on the other side. I bring my staff down, yelling, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS”. The bridge breaks, we both fall. Who survives? Gandalf (me). I stay sober.

Now to get ready to work and brave the elements.