Honestly, I had doubts I was going to be sober after my first weekend without a drink. I can make excuses, excuses and more excuses. Instead, let’s focus on the positive like what I have learned, what has changed and some things I can improve upon in my life.

Work is a major contributor of why I drink. It’s the same shite, different day routine with a bunch of chaos thrown in. I am a person people typically dislike because I am a follow the policy and procedure person. My co-workers, on the other hand, have no work ethic what so ever. They simply don’t care about anything. They do what they need to do and go home for the day. Management also has the same mentality. The constant whining (and I do it occasionally too) is like a elementary room full of kids. They are all asking for their own thing, throwing a fit when they don’t get it and the teacher is so overwhelmed, not knowing what to do, he/she let’s them run rampant. I use to go home thinking about work, had sleepless nights over work and woke up angry that the same shite was going to happen again the next day. So what has changed?

It’s not I don’t care anymore; I simply let it go. There are times I say the Serenity prayer a couple times an hour to remind myself, “accept the things I can change and the courage to change the things I can…”. I simply, still try, to ignore those people and things around me which use to really get on my nerves around me. After saying the prayer, I take a deep breath and go about my own business. What do I need to accomplish to get what I need done without flying into a tantrum myself? While it does sound selfish, my sobriety is dependent on my actions, not the actions of others. I’m the one who has to change my way of thinking. So what helps me to that?

Many of the people I work with are addicts themselves. Most smoke large quantities of marijuana. Not only at home but at work on break and lunch. As unlawful as it is, management as repeatedly said, “if we don’t see them perform the act, there is nothing we can do.” While my argument is, “If the reek of marijuana when they walk into work…there is a problem.” Thus, in my head I remind myself of a Polish proverb, “It’s not my circus, it’s not my monkeys!”

Again, I can write a series of novels of the things I encounter at work on a daily basis. But I have to remind myself – my sobriety is about ME, not about THEM. Thus, I have to start to change my thoughts and actions/reactions. What am I going to do that needs to be changed so I stay sober for the next twenty four hours. Changing jobs is just not an open, as I live in a small city, no transportation and many employers don’t pay as well as my current employer. However, I can take small steps to change how I think and work in the environment I am given. I look at it as a “teaching opportunity”.

Perhaps, my Higher Power has put me in this position again because I haven’t learned the lessons I am suppose to learn. Thus, I need to pay close attention, take mental notes and really give this experience the attention that it needs. The environment is not going to change EVER. However, how I perceive it all and what I can do about it can over time.

Patience. It’s progress.