This week was a blur. I ended up going to the ER again. I told them it was work related this time and they were shocked I didn’t say anything on the previous visit. I spent quite a lot of time in the ER but the doctor provided me with a medical note to return to work on Monday, July 7th.

Actually Monday and Tuesdays are my days off, so I didn’t have report to work until Wednesday. Instead I had to call in because the person who would drive me to work wasn’t going in at all. The other person who could drive me was off. So I just called in sick. Oh well.

I now have three people who I need to speak to about the accident. A third party company called Sedgwick that deals for LOA (Leaves of Absence). I also had to talk to a work comp claims adjuster at the headquarters who is handling my claim. Lastly, I also spoke with a AP (Asset Protection) coach (manager) at my store. This person wants this, the other wants something else and the third another thing. It’s all kind of overwhelming for me.

When I got to work last night, the coach asked if I was okay. “I told her ‘no’ I’m not because I have this person asking for this, another for this and another for this.” She said she has gone through the same thing (probably another lie) and it just takes time. Just do what you can by the deadlines they give you. It will all get settled in time. Meanwhile, she said that she put me in candy aisle for the night.

It took me four hours just to do one pallet and I had another one. Another associate finished the coffee aisle and helped me complete candy by around 6am. Then a team lead (supervisor) asked me to go to the the dairy team finish 97 (otherwise known as the meat wall). I laughed because I was pulled in the office saying that I was slowing down the dairy team and not getting things done in an appropriate time frame.

As I finished helping the dairy team, my leg was really bothering me. Again, I go above and beyond dismissing my personal problems to help get things done. But accused of not getting things done in a timely manner and asking to change to another position. Whatever!

I’m back at home with the leg up and it feels much better. I’m about attempt to take a walk around the block. The last couple of days I haven’t been able to. If begin to hurt, I turn right back around. I’m not risking falling, like I almost did in the ER. But I was told that I can’t sit stationary. I have to get up and walk around every hour, otherwise the symptoms will get worse. I tell everyone, I try to but I have ther priorities in my life (like all this paperwork to fill out for person1, person2 and person3). Honestly, it is Friday, so if I sent it they aren’t going to something with it until Monday. I”ll just take care of it on Monday.

I need to take better of myself and my cats. The cats have been begging for attention and I just tell them ‘no’ (because I’m involved in something else. That needs to change.) I have really slept a full night with all the stress over this situation and despite the heat and my cats, I really need to get to bed after my walk .Debating to cook dinner or not after my walk. It’s just a quick meal ready in 20 minutes. I just make sandwiches instead.

Anyway, I am dealing with things “one day at a time”. Stress is a big trigger for me and I Just want to drink more so I don’t have to feel the stress. But I’ve kept my word to my therapist, just two on weekdays and six or less on my weekends. I told him I failed last week. I did quite excessively perhaps four or five during the days off and on my weekend more than six, probably eight, ten or twelve but I wasn’t counting.

I don’t know why I can just stop drinking. I know I can, I just don’t want to. Current events piss me off. World events piss me off. The cats piss me off. Neighbor piss me off. Work is nothing but a shitshow ever day. I know that I don’t deal with the problems, it’s on me and I don’t blame anyone else.

When all this current event get settled, I hope I enjoy a day without the use of alcohol.