Daily Recovery Readings
January 27, 2019

Daily Reflection

FREEDOM FROM GUILT

Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47

When I become willing to accept my own powerlessness, I begin to realize that blaming myself for all the trouble in my life can be an ego trip back into hopelessness. Asking for help and listening deeply to the messages inherent in the Steps and Traditions of the program make it possible to change those attitudes which delay my recovery. Before joining A.A., I had such a desire for approval from people in powerful positions that I was willing to sacrifice myself, and others, to gain a foothold in the world. I invariably came to grief. In the program I find true friends who love, understand, and care to help me learn the truth about myself. With the help of the Twelve Steps, I am able to build a better life, free of guilt and the need for self-justification.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 25~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Alcoholics carry an awful load around with them. What a load lying puts on your shoulders! Drinking makes liars out of all of us alcoholics. In order to get the liquor we want, we have to lie all the time. We have to lie about where we’ve been and what we’ve been doing. When you are lying you are only half alive because of the fear of being found out. When you come into A.A., and get honest with yourself and with other people, that terrible load of lying falls off your shoulders. Have I got rid of that load of lying?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. As fears and worries and resentments depart out of my life, the things of the spirit come in to take their places. Calm comes after a storm. As soon as I am rid of fears and hates and selfishness, God’s love and peace and calm can come in.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may rid myself of all fears and resentments, so that peace and serenity may take their place. I pray that I may sweep my life clean of evil, so that good may come in.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency/

Needing People

We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting ourselves need anyone at all.

Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen people who cannot, or will not, be there for us. Some of us are so needy from not being loved that we drive people away by needing them too much.

Some of us go to the other extreme. We may have become used to people not being there for us, so we push them away. We fight off our feelings of neediness by becoming overly independent, not allowing ourselves to need anyone. Some of us won’t let people be there for us.

Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we change, our circumstances will change.

If we are too needy, we respond to that by accepting the needy part of us. We let ourselves heal from the pain of past needs going unmet. We stop telling ourselves we’re unlovable because we haven’t been loved the way we wanted and needed.

If we have shut off the part of us that needs people, we become willing to open up, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved. We let ourselves have needs.

We will get the love we need and desire when we begin to believe we’re lovable, and when we allow that to happen.

Today, I will strive for the balance between being too needy and not allowing myself to need people. I will let myself receive the love that is there for me.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it’s time to check your yardstick. —Bill Lemley

Being overcritical and irritable has been common to most of us. Some of us go around with controlled smiles while underneath we are grumbling. Others blast everyone around them. Some of us save our most critical reactions for those we love while staying sweet and friendly with the outside world. In any case, we are caught in a blinding trap. We may know we feel trapped but do not see that our problem is mainly with ourselves.

We need to look at our relationships. Have we been falling into a pattern where no one seems to measure up? Are we also being too critical or demanding of ourselves? Perhaps we don’t need to lower our standards so much as to hold them less tightly. If we can be friends to ourselves and give ourselves a little more leeway, we can be more easygoing with others.

I cannot force myself to be less critical, but I can let go of my willfulness so my more easygoing side comes forward. I can be less judgmental of others and myself.

Elder’s Meditation

“The journey to the Spirit World is a long one, my friend. But when you die, that doesn’t mean that this is the end.” — —Buddy Red Bow, LAKOTA

The Elders tell us of the other dimension, the Spirit World. Our spirit in our
bodies does not die, it only looks that way to our eyes and our brains. Some
of our ceremonies allow us to see into the Spirit World. Death is only part of a process of life. It shows the transition into the Spirit World. The Elders tell us this is a joyful life journey.

My Creator, help me to understand both the seen world and the unseen world. Let me not be afraid of the world You live in.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Good things that flow your way today are seriously taken to heart. So sincerely, in fact, you might find that when the time comes, letting go is difficult. Yet deep down you know that by clinging to a person, place, or experience, an artificial limit is created. It’s better to cede to the healthy boundlessness of freedom and be amenable to things moving along as they should. Your heightened intuition and emotional sensitivity are excellent allies in this process. Love without action is only a word.

Daily Recovery Readings
January 26, 2019

Daily Reflection

RIGOROUS HONESTY

Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A.’s message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn’t care for this prospect — unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24

I am an alcoholic. If I drink I will die. My, what power, energy, and emotion this simple statement generates in me! But it’s really all I need to know for today. Am I willing to stay alive today? Am I willing to stay sober today? Am I willing to ask for help and am I willing to be a help to another suffering alcoholic today? Have I discovered the fatal nature of my situation? What must I do, today, to stay sober?

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 83~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

As we became alcoholics, the bad effects of drinking came more and more to outweigh the good effects. But the strange part of it is that, no matter what drinking did to us, loss of our health, our jobs, our money, and our homes, we still stuck to it and depended on it. Our dependence on drinking became an obsession. In A.A., we find a new outlook on life. We learn how to change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. And we find out that we can no longer depend on drinking for anything. We depend on a Higher Power instead. Have I entirely given up that dependence on drinking?

Meditation for the Day

I will try to keep my life calm and unruffled. This is my great task, to find peace and acquire serenity. I must not harbor disturbing thoughts. No matter what fears, worries, and resentments I may have, I must try to think of constructive things, until calmness comes. Only when I am calm can I act as a channel for God’s spirit.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may build up instead of tearing down. I pray that I may be constructive and not destructive.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Off The Hook

We can learn not to get hooked into unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors in relationships – behaviors such as caretaking, controlling, discounting ourselves, and believing lies.

We can learn to watch for and identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to be hooked.

Often, people do things consciously or without thinking that pulls us into a series of our self-defeating behaviors we call codependency. More often than not, these hooks can be almost deliberate, and the results predictable.

Someone may stand before us and hint or sigh about a problem, knowing or hoping that hint or sigh will hook us into taking care of him or her. That is manipulation.

When people stand around us and hint and sigh about something, then coyly say, “Oh, never mind, that’s not for you to worry about,” that’s a game. We need to recognize it. We’re about to get sucked in, if we allow that to happen.

We can learn to insist that people ask us directly for what they want and need.

What are the words, the signs, the looks, the hints, and the cues that hook us into a predictable and often self-defeating behavior?

What makes you feel sympathy? Guilt? Responsible for another?

Our strong point is that we care so much. Our weak point is that we often underestimate the people with whom we’re dealing. They know what they’re doing. It is time we give up our naive assumption that people don’t follow agendas of their own in their best interest, and not necessarily in ours.

We also want to check ourselves out. Do we give out hooks, looks, hints, hoping to hook another? We need to insist that we behave in a direct and honest manner with others, instead of expecting them to rescue us.

If someone wants something from us, insist that the person ask us directly for it. Require the same from us. If someone baits the hook, we don’t have to bite it.

Today, I will be aware of the hooks that snag me into the caretaking acts that leave me feeling victimized. I will ignore the hints, looks, and words that hook me, and wait for the directness and honesty others, and I deserve.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Within every man there is the reflection of a woman, and within every woman there is the reflection of a man. Within every man and woman there is also the reflection of an old man and an old woman, a little boy and a little girl.

— Hyemeyohsts Storm

This Cheyenne teaching reminds us of our connections – inside ourselves and with other people. Reading this passage, we are seeing it partly with the eyes of that small child who first learned to read. And perhaps, looking in the mirror today, we can see the traces of the old men we are becoming. We have been close to our mothers or sisters or lovers and have found parts of ourselves in them. By gently welcoming the children we once were, the old men we will be, the part of us that has a woman’s outlook, we become wiser, stronger, and more spiritual.

We don’t need to be frightened or disrespectful of the parts of ourselves that don’t feel 100 percent virile. We can have virility and many other sides too. Such awareness creates peace with ourselves.

I will notice the reflection of small children in old faces, old people in children’s faces, and men and women in each other.

Elder’s Meditation

“All life is a circle.” –Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

The atom is a circle, orbits are circles, the earth, moon, and sun are circles. The seasons are circles. The cycle of life is a circle: baby, youth, adult, elder. The sun gives life to the earth who feeds life to the trees whose seeds fall to the earth to grow new trees. We need to practice seeing the cycles that the Great Spirit gave us because this will help us more in our understanding of how things operate. We need to respect these cycles and live in harmony with them.

Great Spirit, let me grow in knowledge of the circle.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Powerful currents of ambition can sweep you away into a land where your own interests and concerns take precedence over anything else today. But even in this illusory place, you are empathetic enough to respond when the needs of a loved one are more urgent than yours. Practicing clever time management creates enough hours in the day to comfortably care for another, and accomplish the things that you want to do, too. As is often the case, it’s about finding the right balance between taking care of yourself and nurturing others.

Daily Recovery Readings
January 25, 2019

Daily Reflection

. . . A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker, “You are an A.A. member if you say so . . . nobody can keep you out.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139

For years, whenever I reflected on Tradition Three (“The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking”), I thought it valuable only to newcomers. It was their guarantee that no one could bar them from A.A. Today I feel enduring gratitude for the spiritual development the Tradition has brought me. I don’t seek out people obviously different from myself. Tradition Three, concentrating on the one way I am similar to others, brought me to know and help every kind of alcoholic, just as they have helped me. Charlotte, the atheist, showed me higher standards of ethics and honor; Clay, of another race, taught me patience; Winslow, who is gay, led me by example into true compassion; Young Megan says that seeing me at meetings, sober thirty years, keeps her coming back. Tradition Three insured that we would get what we need — each other.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 64~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

We used to depend on drinking for a lot of things. We depended on drinking to help us enjoy things. It gave us a “kick.” It broke down our shyness and helped us to have a “good time.” We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low physically. If we had a toothache or just a hangover, we felt better after a few drinks. We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low mentally. If we’d had a tough day at work or if we’d had a fight with our husband or wife, or if things just seemed against us, we felt better under the influence of alcohol. For us alcoholics, it got so that we depended on drinking for almost every thing. Have I got over that dependence on drinking?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that complete surrender of my life to God is the foundation of serenity. God has prepared for us many mansions. I do not look upon that promise as referring only to the after-life. I do not look upon this life as something to be struggled through, in order to get the rewards of the next life. I believe that the Kingdom of God is within us and we can enjoy “eternal life” here and now.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may try to do God’s will. I pray that such understanding, insight, and vision shall be mine as shall make my life eternal, here and now.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Step One

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
—Step One of Al-Anon

There are many different versions of the First Step for recovering codependents. Some of us admit powerlessness over alcohol or another’s alcoholism. Some of us admit powerlessness over people; some over the impact of growing up in an alcoholic family.

One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution.

Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery.

We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hope – for better lives and relationships.

Today, I will be grateful for the many people across the world who call themselves “recovering codependents.” Help me know that each time one of us takes a step forward, we pull the entire group forward.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

A richer, more fulfilling, and more peaceful masculine spirituality will depend in no small measure upon new ways of learning to be sexual.
—James B. Nelson

For most men, sexuality is one of the central issues in recovery. Our addictive and codependent lives have been fed by an overemphasis on genital sexuality, satisfaction, and performance. Sex is so limited by this emphasis that many men have become more unhappy while becoming sexual athletes.

We need to learn how to deepen our sexual experiences. We can allow ourselves the vulnerability of learning from our partners. We need to know how they relate to us and how we can have both a spiritual and a physical connection. We can allow ourselves to be in loving relationships and enjoy the pleasure of touch. Consummation may not always be in orgasm, but in intimacy.

Today, I may experience my sexuality in many ways. My spiritual growth cannot be separated from how I learn to be sexual.

Elder’s Meditation

“Also ask your heart to purify and cleanse this defect and harmful desire. Ask also the help of the inner father and mother. Every time we eliminate a defect, we build our soul, our inner temple. We ascend. like going up a stairway.”

–Willaru Huayata, QUECHUA NATION, PERU

The building blocks to knowledge and wisdom are constructed through the lessons of our character defects if we constructively review our conduct each day, asking where we are resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid. Remember, we need to review constructively, not destructively. Destructive review is when we ask, “what’s the matter with me anyway.” or “how could I be so stupid?” These question lead to morbid reflection or remorse and seriously affect our self esteem. In constructive review we ask, “what will I do next time?” With constructive review we progressively eliminate the defect and replace it with wisdom.

My Creator, allow me to have my defects because through them I gain in knowledge of Your will.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

A lesson learned outside the home might come in handy within your own four walls today. Whether it’s a decorating tip, a delicious recipe, or a fantastic method for staying organized, you’re eager to try it out now. If positive results are encouraging enough, you could even be inspired to take your education further. There’s no need to stop if you’re onto something good. Doors of possibility are opening before you; step over a new threshold and discover a whole new world.

Daily Recovery Readings
January 24, 2019

Daily Reflection

GETTING INVOLVED

There is action and more action. “Faith without works is dead.” . . . To be helpful is our only aim.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 88-89

I understand that service is a vital part of recovery but I often wonder, “What can I do?” Simply start with what I have today! I look around to see where there is a need. Are the ashtrays full? Do I have hands and feet to empty them? Suddenly I’m involved! The best speaker may make the worst coffee; the member who’s best with newcomers may be unable to read; the one willing to clean up may make a mess of the bank account—yet every one of these people and jobs is essential to an active group. The miracle of service is this: when I use what I have, I find there is more available to me than I realized before.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. It meant destruction of self-centeredness. I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 14~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Alcoholics who are living in a blind alley refuse to be really honest with themselves or with other people. They’re running away from life and won’t face things as they are. They won’t give up their resentments. They’re too sensitive and too easily hurt. They refuse to try to be unselfish. They still want everything for themselves. And no matter how many disastrous experiences they have had with drinking, they still do it over and over again. There’s only one way to get out of that blind alley way of living and that’s to change your thinking. Have I changed my thinking?

Meditation for the Day

I know that the vision and power that I receive from God are limitless, as far as spiritual things are concerned. But in temporal and material things, I must submit to limitations. I know that I cannot see the road ahead. I must go just one step at a time, because God does not grant me a longer view. I am in uncharted waters, limited by my temporal and spatial life, but unlimited in my spiritual life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that, in spite of my material limitations, I may follow God’s way. I pray that I may learn that trying to do His will is perfect freedom.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Clearing the Slate

One of the greatest gifts we can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is our greatest barrier to that gift.

Most of us have had relationships that have ended. When we examine these relationships, we need to clear the emotional slate. Are we holding on to anger or resentments? Are we still feeling victimized? Are we living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationships – Women can’t be trusted…. Bosses use people…. There is no such thing as a good relationship….

Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty, we can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block us today from giving and getting the love we desire. We can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when we reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from our past.

Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

You have got to know what it is you want, or someone is going to sell you a bill of goods somewhere along the line that can do irreparable damage to your self esteem, your sense of worth, and your stewardship of the talents that God gave you.

—Richard Nelson Bolles

In recovery, getting to know ourselves sometimes means developing a new form of toughness. As we deepen our relationships with ourselves, we have a clearer sense of what we care about, what is truly important, and what is not. Certainly we have learned there is evil in the world. Harm does come to good people and the good side does not always win. So we must be men who know ourselves and are not pushovers when our basic values and needs are challenged. We leave room for being wrong, and we continue to grow and learn. But we stand up for what we believe as we see it today.

We must not join the forces that would put us down or destroy us. Those negative forces are within us more often than they are outside. Wherever they come from, knowing clearly what we want and care about is our strongest defense.

I will seek the wisdom to know my values and the strength to defend my beliefs.

Elder’s Meditation

You have got to know what it is you want, or someone is going to sell you a bill of goods somewhere along the line that can do irreparable damage to your self esteem, your sense of worth, and your stewardship of the talents that God gave you.

—Richard Nelson Bolles

In recovery, getting to know ourselves sometimes means developing a new form of toughness. As we deepen our relationships with ourselves, we have a clearer sense of what we care about, what is truly important, and what is not. Certainly we have learned there is evil in the world. Harm does come to good people and the good side does not always win. So we must be men who know ourselves and are not pushovers when our basic values and needs are challenged. We leave room for being wrong, and we continue to grow and learn. But we stand up for what we believe as we see it today.

We must not join the forces that would put us down or destroy us. Those negative forces are within us more often than they are outside. Wherever they come from, knowing clearly what we want and care about is our strongest defense.

I will seek the wisdom to know my values and the strength to defend my beliefs.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your emotions might push you in one direction after another today. Although your moods aren’t overly intense, they’re strong enough that you can’t help but notice them. Bring a calculating, cool eye to these passionate crosscurrents. The complexities of love or fortune can’t be made simple by sheer willpower nor by heart alone. The trail you’re compelled to blaze is one of experience. Vacillations in feelings are clear evidence that you’re in the thick of a building process or growth phase. Your self-awareness nudges all in a healthy direction.

Daily Recovery Readings
January 23, 2019

Daily Reflection

HAVING FUN YET?

“. . . we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders. “

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 132

When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that cloaked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I’m taking myself too seriously—and finding it difficult to admit that I’ve strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order. I think the pain I experience is one way my Higher Power has to get my attention, coaxing me to take stock of my performance. The slight time and effort it takes to work the program—a spot-check inventory, for example, or the making of amends, whatever is appropriate — are well worth the effort.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

 “Those of us who have spent much time in the world of spiritual make- believe have eventually seen the childishness of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of purpose, accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done. These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 130~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Alcoholics are people whose drinking got them into a “blind alley.” They haven’t been able to learn anything from their drinking experiences. They are always making the same mistakes and suffering the same consequences over and over again. They refuse to admit they’re alcoholic. They still think they can handle the stuff. They won’t swallow their pride and admit that they’re different from ordinary drinkers. They won’t face the fact that they must spend the rest of their lives without liquor. They can’t visualize life without ever taking a drink. Am I out of this blind alley?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that God has all power. It is His to give and His to withhold. But He will not withhold it from the person who dwells near Him, because then it passes insensibly from God to that person. It is breathed in by the person who lives in God’s presence. I will learn to live in God’s presence and then I will have those things, which I desire, of Him: strength, power, and joy. God’s power is available to all who need it and are willing to accept it.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may get myself out of the way, so that God’s power may flow in. I pray that I may surrender myself to that power. 

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

New Energy Coming

Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. —Beyond Codependency

There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.

There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven’t worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past.

The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass.

Do not limit the future by the past!

Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven’t there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven’t you and your circumstances changed since then?

Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever.

We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience.

Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.

A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.

Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new.

Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me. 

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well-organized routine a bit of unscheduled pleasure.
—Richard Lannelli

The idea of turning our lives and our will over to the care of God is a very revolutionary thing to do. We are being told, “Let go of your excessive carefulness. Let the spirit guide you.” When we are in touch with ourselves, with the people around us, with God, we are free to experiment. We don’t learn from doing the same things correctly again and again. We learn from trying new things and making mistakes.

Over control is spiritually deadening. This is a program of life. Our renewal is a miraculous event. Why stop now? We can be in touch with the messages around us without trying to control the outcome. When we let God do the worrying, we find many possibilities open up,

As this adventure of life unfolds, I will not shy away from it.

Elder’s Meditation

“Our true enemies, as well as our true sources of strength, lie within.” –Willaru Huayta, QUECHUA NATION, PERU

A long time ago, the Creator put inside the human being the secrets to the laws of life. We usually know this is true even though we may not know what these laws are. If something goes wrong with our lives, we usually fix the blame on something outside of ourselves. We tend to give up accountability. One way or another we say, “It’s not my fault.” We need to realize that all permanent and lasting change starts on the inside and works its way out. If it’s meant to be, it is up to me.

Oh Great Spirit, let me realize fully that my problems are of my own making. Therefore, so are the solutions.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Navigating familiar activities might feel like walking a tightrope today. The people or animals that depend on you seem to be struck with a contagious bout of high-maintenance neediness now. Simultaneously, the demands of your daily commute or working life unexpectedly amp up, too. Although maintaining balance is tricky, making small deliberate moves is the secret to successfully reaching the other side. Deepak Chopra said, “In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside you.” 

Daily Recovery Readings
January 22, 2019

Daily Reflection

Big Book Quote

“…we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 132

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

In the beginning, you want to get sober, but you’re helpless, so you turn to a Power greater than yourself and by trusting in that Power, you get the strength to stop drinking. From then on, you want to keep sober, and that’s a matter of reeducating your mind. After a while, you get so that you really enjoy simple, healthy, normal living. You really get a kick out of life without the artificial stimulus of alcohol. All you have to do is to look around at the members of any A.A. group and you will see how their outlook has changed. Is my outlook on life changing?

Meditation for the Day

I will never forget to say thank you to God, even on the greyest days. My attitude will be one of humility and gratitude. Saying thank you to God is a daily practice that is absolutely necessary. If a day is not one of thankfulness, the practice has to be repeated until it becomes so. Gratitude is a necessity for those who seek to live a better life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that gratitude will bring humility. I pray that humility will bring me to live a better life.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Appreciating Our Past

It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving.

The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want.

Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes-stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too.

Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to, to become who we are today.  Each step of the way, we progressed.

Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth.

Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The human heart in its perversity finds it hard to escape hatred and revenge.
  —Moses Luzzatto

This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. No man can progress in his recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns.

Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all – even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop. When we are willing to be honest, to be humble, to be learners, to be led in a constructive direction, to allow time to be guided rather than seek instant cure, then we will learn trust and will surely make progress.

I do not need to know exactly how to let go of my resentments or what will happen afterI do. I simply must be ready to let them go.

Elder’s Meditation

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your main objective is simplicity today. Casting procrastination aside, you’re determined to complete a useful task with a minimum of fuss. But whether this efficient execution is doable isn’t entirely up to you. Kids, coworkers, or even your spouse could plunk a formidable spoiler right into the middle of your plans. If that’s the case, you know the drill. Suck it up, shift gears, and respond when duty calls. Your dream of unimpeded, streamlined efficiency just might come true on another day when you’re not in such demand.

Daily Recovery Readings
January 21, 2019

Daily Reflection

SERVING MY BROTHER

The member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE, p. 279

As the days pass in A.A., I ask God to guide my thoughts and the words that I speak. In this labor of continuous participation in the Fellowship, I have numerous opportunities to speak. So I frequently ask God to help me watch over my thoughts and my words, that they may be the true and proper reflections of our program; to focus my aspirations once again to seek His guidance; to help me be truly kind and loving, helpful and healing, yet always filled with humility, and free from any trace of arrogance.

Today I may very well have to deal with disagreeable attitudes or utterances-the typical stock-in-trade attitude of the still-suffering alcoholic. If this should happen, I will take a moment to center myself in God, so that I will be able to respond from a perspective of composure, strength and sensibility.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be
able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for
inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take
it easy. We don’t struggle. We are often surprised how the right
answers come after we have tried this for a while.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 86

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

To grasp the A.A. program, we have to think things out. Saint Paul said, “They are transformed by the renewing of their minds.” We have to learn to think straight. We have to change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. We must build up a new way of looking at things. Before we came into A.A., we wanted an artificial life of excitement and everything that goes with drinking. That kind of a life looked normal to us then. But as we look back now, that life looks the exact opposite of normal. In fact, it looks most abnormal. We must reeducate our minds. Am I changing from an abnormal thinker to a normal thinker?

Meditation for the Day

I will take the most crowded day without fear. I believe that God is with me and controlling all. I will let confidence be the motif running through all the crowded day. I will not get worried, because I know that God is my helper. Underneath are the everlasting arms. I will rest in them, even though the day is full of things crowding in upon me.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be calm and let nothing upset me. I pray that I may not let material things control me and choke out spiritual things.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Wants and Needs

Part of taking responsibility for us means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that’s okay to do.

Learning to tune in to us, learning to listen to ourselves, is an art. It takes practice. We can use our ability to guess what others want and need and apply that skill to ourselves.

What does it sound like we might want and need? What would we guess would help us feel better? What are our feelings telling us? Our body? Our mind? Our intuition?

If we ask, then listen closely; we’ll hear the answer.

We are wiser than we think, and we can be trusted.

What we want and need counts. It’s important, and it’s valid. It’s okay to learn to participate in meeting our own needs.

We can learn to identify what we want and need and be patient with ourselves while we’re learning.

Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

There are things for which an uncompromising stand is worthwhile.
—Dietrich Bonhoeffer

For many of us, a time came when we said, “I’m not going to live this way anymore!” This was a deep, internal decision for change, even though we didn’t know how it would come about. Somehow we had reached bottom, and we no longer debated about whose fault our problems were. We quit negotiating over what we would change and what we would not change. We were willing to put all our energy into finding a better life, no matter what it would require. That is the kind of inner readiness that finally made real change possible.

Such willingness to take an uncompromising stand and give ourselves totally to a worthwhile cause is a model for our lives. It’s the beginning of deep change. Many men and women have taken similar heroic stands for other causes, like world peace, compassion for the poor and hungry, human rights, and protection of the environment.

On this day, I will take a stand for what is worthwhile.

Elder’s Meditation

“This is the time of awakening to the inner father and the inner mother. Without this we will receive no high initiation; instead we get initiated into darkness. That’s because any investigation or revolution without God leads, not to freedom, but to more slavery.”

–Willaru Huayta, QUECHAU NATION, PERU

Honor the Father and the Mother. Father stands for wisdom and Mother stands for feelings. Inside each of us is the Father and the Mother. If we do not honor both, we will not grow in balance. To honor both the Father and the Mother helps our masculine and feminine sides grow. The winter season is a good time to focus on this. This is our season of reflection. Honoring both sides allows us to see the Creator is both Father and Mother.

Great Spirit, Father Sky, Mother Earth, guide me today. Let me experience balance.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It’s a gratifying feeling when everything seems to fall into place. In fact, there’s a rush of quiet adrenaline that only comes when you’re sure you are being rewarded with the world’s greatest bargain on the exact item for which you’ve been searching. Your satisfaction is well within the range of today’s possibilities while a potent Leo Lunar Eclipse illuminates your 2nd House of Money and Possessions. Bartering and trading can be more than a strictly financial activity — it’s sociable, too. You’re like a kid in a candy store with a twenty-dollar bill. Make generosity part of your growth strategy.

Daily Recovery Readings

January 20, 2019

Daily Reflection

“WE PAUSE . . . AND ASK”

“As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 87

Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend.

I promise to watch for every opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills—it is the unsuspected Inner Resource.

I thank my Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the right thought or action today.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn’t be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 85

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

In A.A. we’re all through with lying, hangovers, remorse, and wasting money. When we were drinking, we were only half alive. Now that we’re trying to live decent, honest, unselfish lives, we’re really alive. Life has a new meaning for us, so that we can really enjoy it. We feel that we’re some use in the world. We’re on the right side of the fence, instead of on the wrong side. We can look the world in the face instead of hiding in alleys. We come into A.A. to get sober and if we stay long enough, we learn a new way of living. Am I convinced that no matter how much fun I got out of drinking, that life never was as good as the life I can build in A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

I want to be at one with the Divine Spirit of the universe. I will set my deepest affections on things spiritual, not on things material. As a man thinketh, so is he. So I will think of and desire that which will help, not hinder, my spiritual growth. I will try to be at one with God. No human aspiration can reach higher than this.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may think love, and love will surround me. I pray that I may think health, and health will come to me.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

New Beginnings

Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person; they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go.

Letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she wants. It means we accept what happened in the past, and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries.

We try to see the good in the person or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about.  We try to see our part.

Then we put the incident to rest.

Praying for those we resent helps. Asking God to take our resentments from us helps too.

What better way to begin a New Year than by cleaning the slate of the past, and entering this one free of resentments.

Higher Power, help me become ready to let go of my resentments. Bring any resentment that is hidden within me, and blocking me, to the surface. Show me what I need to do to take care of my self by letting go of resentments, and then help me do that.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

How good and how pleasant it is that brothers sit together.  —Psalm 133

Men are lonely and more vulnerable to addictions and codependency when they have no firm friendships with other men. Do we have one or two male friends who truly know us, know what really goes on in our lives, what we feel, and what our doubts are? If we do, these relationships are precious. We need to nourish them. If we do not, we need to find others who might become friends. We begin by taking small steps in the development of a friendship.

The joys of sharing with other men, finding humor in our mutual flaws, and joining in similar interests have no substitutes. Relationships develop when someone reaches out. It is easier for us to do this if we remember our friendship is a gift to someone else. We need friendships with both women and men in order to be whole. But understanding ourselves as men begins with closeness to other men.

I am grateful for precious friendships with men and women in my life. They help me grow. Today, can I strengthen my friendship with another man?

Elder’s Meditation

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

There might be more than one way to justify your curiosity today about what makes another person tick. Maybe he or she reminds you of one of your parents or perhaps you’re nursing a secret crush. In fact, you may simply want to know more about someone with whom you’ll be closely working. The specifics aren’t nearly as important as is your fascination, itself. Paradoxically, you can learn more about your own motives by getting to better understand those of others.