DR – January 1, 2019

Daily Recovery Readings
January 1, 2019

Daily Reflection

“I AM A MIRACLE”

The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 25

This truly is a fact in my life today, and a real miracle. I always believed in God, but could never put that belief meaningfully into my life. Today, because of Alcoholics Anonymous, I now trust and rely on God, as I understand Him; I am sober today because of that! Learning to trust and rely on God was something I could never have done alone. I now believe in miracles because I am one!

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

… If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it – then you are ready to take certain steps. At some of these we balked. We thought we could find and easier, softer way. But we could not.

– Pg. 58 – How It Works

The Language of Letting Go – Thought for Today (CoDependency)

The New Year

Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come.

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level.

Goals give our life direction.

What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed?

What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life?

Remember, we aren’t controlling others with our goals – we are trying to give direction to our life.

What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career?

What would you like to see happen inside and around you?

Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down – as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go.

Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story.

The New Year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year to come, and regularly as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him.
—Dutch proverb

When we see how far we’ve strayed from being the kind of men we wanted to be, we are overwhelmed by how far we have to go to get back on the track. Perhaps we see clearly for the first time how unfair we were or how much we hurt those we love. Maybe we see how pervasive our compulsions are in our lives and how much we missed.

That is when we are most ready to do the work of recovery and become most spiritual. It is helpful at those times to remember that this program is a journey. Although at times the distance seems overwhelming, all of us are on the path. As long as we live, we never reach a point where we can stop growing. The important thing is, we are on the path, and we have a good part of our journey behind us. Once begun, outside the door, we are progressing like all our brothers and sisters in the program.

Elder’s Meditation

“…because if you believe in something, and believe in it long enough, it will come into being.”

–Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

We are created by the Great One to accomplish His will through our mental pictures or visions. Our thoughts are three dimensional: words, pictures and feelings. We create the vision by thinking the words and we create feeling for the vision by feeling enthusiasm, desire, commitment and other strong beliefs. Once we create the vision, we move toward and become like that which we think about. All visions are tested by our self talk; for example, “This isn’t going to happen, where is the money coming from anyway?” When this happens, we need to let go of the test and focus on belief in the vision. Why? Because God said if we believe it long enough, He will guarantee it!!!

Great One, let my beliefs be strong today. Help me to have faith in my visions.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

If you’re seeing opportunity appear where once you saw only a brick wall, that’s no mirage. The action-planet Mars brings his assertive energy to your 10th House of Public Life today. A power-packed trend can unfold when you believe in yourself, commit to training or practice, and bring out the best of your talent. Bill Bradley said, “Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” Rev that engine and get ready for a win.

DR – December 31, 2018

Daily Recovery Readings
December 31, 2018

Daily Reflection

DAILY RESOLUTIONS

The idea of “twenty-four-hour living” applies primarily to the emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday, nor in tomorrow.

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 284

A New Year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes — a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twenty-four-hour frame, for if I do, I don’t have to make New Year’s resolutions! I can make every day a New Year’s day! I can decide, “Today I will do this . . . Today I will do that.” Each day I can measure my life by trying to do a little better, by deciding to follow God’s will and by making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Remember that we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power that One is God. May you find Him now!”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, Page 58~

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Dawns another year,
Open it aright;
Thou shalt have no fear
In its fading light.
  —Joseph Krauskopf

New Year’s Eve is a good time to reflect upon the closing year and set our direction for the year ahead. This day reminds us that every day of the year is lived just one at a time. Looking back, we can see a year’s change in ourselves. We see the progress we have made as men on our journey. Perhaps we see how much stronger we are emotionally. Maybe we see relationships that have developed because of our growing ability to love. Certainly all of us have some things we regret and some changes we mourn. They too have their place today.

As we begin the coming year, let us review our relationship with each of the Steps. We may perceive aspects of our program that call for more attention. One or two particular Steps may speak to our needs at this time or may have been overlooked in this past year. On this last day of the year, we can again turn our lives and will over to the care of a loving God.

I look to the New Year with a renewed commitment to the Steps.

 

The Language of Letting Go – Thought for Today (Codependency)

Affirming the Good

Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
—Beyond Codependency

Wait, and expect good things – for yourself and your loved ones.

When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours.

See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment.

Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become.

Wait, and expect good things.

Today, when I think abut the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.

Elder’s Meditation

“They must give themselves to Wakan’ Tanka and live a spiritual life. They will have the peace that frees them from fear.”

— Frank Fools Crow, LAKOTA

There are two wills available for us: self will and God’s will. Our choice is: figure it out ourselves, or have the Creator involved in our lives. If we are honest with ourselves and look at past experiences, what are our lives like when we try to figure it out ourselves? Is there fear, confusion, frustration, anger, attacking others, conflict, fault finding, manipulation, teasing others, belittling others or devaluation? If these things are present, they indicate that we are choosing self will. What is it like if we turn our will over to the
Creator? What are the results if we ask the Great Spirit to guide our life? Examples are: freedom, choices, consequences, love, forgiveness, helping others, happiness, joy, solutions, and peace. Which will I choose today, self will or God’s will?

Creator, I know what my choice is. I want You to direct my life. I want You to direct my thinking. You are the Grandfather. You know what I need even before I do. Today I ask You to tell me what I can do for You today. Tell me in a way I can understand and I will be happy to do it.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may be overly emotional today, but such sentiments are nothing new to you. If you find your feelings sinking to the depths or soaring to extraordinary heights, rest assured the cosmos is conspiring in your favor for a cathartic release. Whatever ritual you choose to mark the crossing of the threshold into the new year, be sure to clear out the energetic clutter so you can gain closure on the past. Transitions are beautifully liberating when you choose to engage them with intention.

DR – December 30, 2018

Daily Recovery Readings
December 30, 2018

Daily Reflection

ANONYMITY

Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 562

Tradition Twelve became important early in my sobriety and, along with the Twelve Steps, it continues to be a must in my recovery. I became aware after I joined the Fellowship that I had personality problems, so that when I first heard it, the Tradition’s message was very clear: there exists an immediate way for me to face, with others, my alcoholism and attendant anger, defensiveness, offensiveness. I saw Tradition Twelve as being a great ego-deflator; it relieved my anger and gave me a chance to utilize the principles of the program. All of the Steps, and this particular Tradition, have guided me over decades of continuous sobriety. I am grateful to those who were here when I needed them.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, Page 85~

The Language of Letting Go

Laying the Foundation

The groundwork has been laid.

Do you not see that?

Don’t you understand that all you have gone through was for a purpose?

There was a reason, a good reason, for the waiting, the struggle, the pain, and finally the release.

You have been prepared. The same way a builder must first tear down and dig out the old to make way for the new, your Higher Power has been cleaning out the foundation in your life.

Have you ever watched a builder at construction? When he begins his work, it looks worse than before he began. What is old and decayed must be removed. What is insufficient or too weak to support the new structure must be removed, replaced, or reinforced. No builder who cares about his or her work would put a new surface over an insufficient support system. The foundation would give way. It would not last.

If the finished product is to be what is desired, the work must be done thoroughly from the bottom up. As the work progresses, it often appears to be an upheaval. Often, it does not seem to make sense. It may appear to be wasted time and effort, because we cannot see the final product yet.

But it is so important that the foundation be laid properly if the fun work, the finishing touches, is to be all that we want it to be.

This long, hard time in your life has been for laying of groundwork. It was not without purpose, although at times the purpose may not have been evident or apparent.

Now, the foundation has been laid. The structure is solid.

Now, it is time for the finishing touches, the completion.

It is time to move the furniture in and enjoy the fruits of the labor.

Congratulations. You have had the patience to endure the hard parts. You have trusted, surrendered, and allowed your Higher Power and the Universe to heal and prepare you.

Now, you shall enjoy the good that has been planned.

Now, you shall see the purpose.

Now, it shall all come together and make sense.

Enjoy.

Today, I will surrender to the laying of the foundation – the groundwork – in my life. If it is time to enjoy the placement of the finishing touches, I will surrender to that, and enjoy that too. I will remember to be grateful for a Higher Power that is a Master Builder and only has my best interests in mind, creating and constructing my life. I will be grateful for my Higher Power’s care and attention to details in laying the foundation – even though I become impatient at times. I will stand in awe at the beauty of God’s finished product.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

When we are reduced to our last extreme, there is no further evasion. The choice is a terrible one. It is made in the heart of darkness … when we who have been destroyed and seem to be in hell miraculously choose God!
—Thomas Merton

There are many ways we benefit from a life crisis. Perhaps none of us could achieve true adult maturity – or a relationship with God – without having the foundations of our lives shaken. One of our pathways to crisis was the willful pursuit of control in our codependent and addictive lives. Our lifestyles were extreme, the consequences were extreme, and our surrender had to be absolute.

Most of us are surprised by how our weaknesses can turn to strengths. When our defiant wills led us to the utter bottom of our despair, we finally turned to a Power greater than ourselves and found a new way to live. This spiritual story is told in endless variations in our meetings, and it is renewed in small ways every day in each of our lives.

God, lift my defiant willfulness from me and renew my day.

Elder’s Meditation

“Always remember that the Great Mystery is good; evil can come only from ourselves!”

–Grandmother of Charles Eastman. SANTEE SIOUX

The Great Mystery is love, good, and principle. He is a guiding Father. He doesn’t play games. He knows only how to love. Sometimes, when things go wrong, we blame Him or others. Usually, if we are honest, we can see how decisions or things done in the past put us in a position to be hurt. It comes back to us. When this happens, it is not something the Creator caused, but something we, ourselves caused. Most of our problems are of our own making. When this happens, we should correct what we’ve done, ask the Great Spirit for forgiveness, and pray for guidance in the future.

My Creator, bless me with Your good.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Maintaining your emotional equilibrium sounds easier than it is in practice today. The harmonizing Libra Moon in your 4th House of Foundations encourages you to seek balance, but her smooth ride is threatened by suspicious Pluto and irrepressible Uranus. Although you might want to give up and hide out in your room, exploring new ways to integrate your desires with the needs of others can be quite empowering. CEO Ginni Rometty said, “Growth and comfort do not coexist.”

Now After A Relapse

For those of you reading, I relapsed in February 2018 (The Relapse) after ten years of sobriety.  I knew full well it was coming. I became hopeless and just gave up. On September 14, 2018, I got back into sobriety.  I’m fortunate to live in a chemical dependency residential program, working with a Sponsor and have a strong sober network.

First and foremost, I wasn’t involved in my own sobriety. First, like most if not all people that relapse, I wasn’t attending recovery meetings (AA or NA).  I made excuses not to go.  Second, my Sponsor and I grew apart, thus I wasn’t calling him regularly.  Lastly, I wasn’t “practicing the principles in all my affairs”.  I was a dry dunk after moving from Binghamton in July 2017. I wasn’t drinking but I wasn’t apply a spiritual program to my life either.

Working as a CNA was the worst decision of my life.  While it can be rewarding at times, the amount of stress involved working in that field is tremendous, therefore I will not be working as a CNA again.  I saw so much abuse, neglect and injustice, I literally went insane.

Second, I really never worked on my codependency issues.  Unfortunately, those reared their ugly heads time after time.  This last time was devastating to me because I got involved in a relationship with another active addict after my relapse.

So what am I doing now?

I attending one to two meetings per day.  I’m also involved in a chemical dependency outpatient program.  I mentioned I live in a chemical dependency residential program which I moved from a 3/4 house to a supportive living program.  I also got a Sponsor the second month I was here and we are working through the 12 Steps of AA.  In addition I’m also attending CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) and GA (Gamblers Anonymous).

My Sponsor is giving me a new perspective of the Big Book.  Instead of just going through the Steps, we actually started reading from the first page (pg. xi – Preface).  We take turns reading the Big Book. He also references Joe & Charlie’s Big Book Study which I had never heard of until now.  He agreed we will probably just review Step 1-3 since he feels I still have a good handle on those Steps.  Step 4 onward, I’ll be doing the Steps all over again.  I have absolutely no problem doing ALL Steps over again.

I just left a 3/4 house (seven guys in one house, we all share a bedroom except the senior who gets his own) I’ve been living in since October when I got here.  I’ve moved in a separate apartment with just three guys.  The other two guys don’t participate in a 12 Step program.  However, one of them is leaving and then one of the guys from the 3/4 house is coming here next week.

Outpatient treatment isn’t doing a damn thing for me.  It took me a month to get into it.  I wasn’t impressed with the process of admission at all.  There is a constant turn around with clients (I mean I hardly see the same people in my groups week to week).  One counselor didn’t know how to run a group properly but she has not left the practice. Recently I removed myself from a group because I had no reason for being in that group to begin with as none of the subject matters pertained to me – at all. Despite the negative experiences, I am still participating and will continue to attend groups.

While I attend AA or NA groups once or twice a day, I also have been attending CoDA and GA meetings.  CoDA just started a meeting in the area.  I’m glad for this meeting because now I’m more aware of my codependency issues.  GA meetings are supposedly on Sunday but the last time I attempted to attend, no one showed up.  This surprises me since I live very near Turning Stone Casino.  Despite this, I’ll keep trying.

I haven’t had any dire circumstances arise as of yet.  There were a few groups which brought up resentments which I identified.  This is the first Christmas without my old Sponsor (since his passing in April 2018), so I’m still processing those feelings.  But overall, I’m doing really good.  I’m right where I’m suppose to be, doing what I’m suppose to be doing.

I have hope again!

 

DR – December 27, 2018

Daily Recovery Readings
December 27, 2018

Daily Reflection

PROBLEM SOLVING

“Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 42

Through the recovery process described in the Big Book, I have come to realize that the same instructions that work on my alcoholism, work on much more. Whenever I am angry or frustrated, I consider the matter a manifestation of the main problem within me, alcoholism. As I “walk” through the Steps, my difficulty is usually dealt with long before I reach the Twelfth “suggestion,” and those difficulties that persist are remedied when I make an effort to carry the message to someone else. These principles do solve my problems! I have not encountered an exception, and I have been brought to a way of living which is satisfying and useful.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions. Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on. They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring  up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, Page 153~

The Language of Letting Go

Near the Top

I know you’re tired. I know you feel overwhelmed. You may feel as though this crisis, this problem, this hard time will last forever. It won’t. You are almost through.

You don’t just think it has been hard; it has been hard. You have been tested, tried, and retested on what you have learned.

Your beliefs and your faith have been tried in fire. You have believed, then doubted, then worked at believing some more.

You have had to have faith even when you could not see or imagine what you were asked to believe. Others around you may have tried to convince you not to believe in what you were hoping you could believe.

You have had opposition. You have not gotten to this place with total support and joy. You have had to work hard, in spite of what was happening around you. Sometimes, what motivated you was anger; sometimes fear.

Things went wrong – more problems occurred than you anticipated. There were obstacles, frustrations, and annoyances en route. You did not plan on this being the way it would evolve. Much of this has been a surprise; some of it has not been at all what you desired.

Yet, it has been good. Part of you, the deepest part that knows truth, has sensed this all along, even when your head told you that things were out of whack and crazy; that there was no plan or purpose, that God had forgotten you.

So much has happened, and each incident – the most painful, the most troubling, and the most surprising – has a connection. You are beginning to see and sense that.

You never dreamt things would happen this way, did you? But they did. Now you are learning the secret – they were meant to happen this way, and this way is good, better than what you expected.

You didn’t believe it would take this long, either – did you? But it did. You have learned patience.

You never thought you could have it, but now you know you do.

You have been led. Many were the moments when you thought you were forgotten, when you were convinced you had been abandoned. Now you know you have been guided.

Now things are coming into place. You are almost at the end of this phase, this difficult portion of the journey. The lesson is almost complete. You know – the lesson you fought, resisted, and insisted you could not learn. Yes, that one.

You have almost mastered it.

You have been changed from the inside out. You have been moved to a different level, a higher level, a better level.

You have been climbing a mountain. It has not been easy, but mountain climbing is never easy. Now, you are near the top. A moment longer, and the victory shall be yours.

Steady your shoulders. Breathe deeply. Move forward in confidence and peace. The time is coming to relish and enjoy all, which you have fought for. That time is drawing near, finally.

I know you have thought before that the time was drawing near, only to learn that it wasn’t. But now, the reward is coming. You know that too. You can feel it.

Your struggle has not been in vain. For every struggle on this journey, there is a climax, a resolution.

Peace, joy, abundant blessings, and reward are yours here on earth. Enjoy.

There will be more mountains, but now you know how to climb them. And you have learned the secret of what is at the top.

Today, I will accept where I am and continue pushing forward. If I am in the midst of a learning experience, I will allow myself to continue on with the faith that the day of mastery and reward will come. Help me, God; understand that despite my best efforts to live in peaceful serenity, there are times of mountain climbing. Help me stop creating chaos and crisis, and help me meet the challenges that will move me upward and forward.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value. ~Albert Einstein

The marketplace and fashion entice us in countless ways to indulge our individual pleasures. Some say that success will be with the man who follows those seductive beckonings. Even sacrificing long hours by working two jobs to become a financial success or to achieve high career goals can be self-centered activity. It may be time and energy spent seeking power and glory at the cost of time with our family and friends – time for enjoying each other and growing. Sadly, external success leads to superficial pleasure but never to peace within ourselves.

However, when we pursue the values of honesty, humility, and service, we will find enduring self-respect and close friendships. This path provides a genuine experience of life’s greatest rewards rather than the glitter of passing excitement.

Today, I will strive toward the greater values rather than superficial successes.

Elder’s Meditation

“When temptation comes, I don’t say, `Yes,” and I don’t say, `No.’ I say, `Later,’ I just keep walking the Red Road – down the middle. When you’re in the middle, you don’t go to either extreme. You allow both sides to exist.”

— Dr. A. C. Ross (Ehanamani), LAKOTA

We need to practice controlling our focus. Whatever we focus on we become. We also become whatever we practice. We need to focus on balance. Whenever something comes along to tilt us off balance, we need to be grateful, because it allows the opportunity to practice our focus. Sometimes this is called temptation. Temptation in itself is not bad. What really counts is what we do with it when it happens. We need to practice  controlling our focus and keeping our thinking focused on the Red Road.

Great Spirit, today, guide me through my temptations and allow me to focus on the Red Road.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Although you’re not necessarily known for your exacting logic, your analytical skills are quite impressive today. Someone might try to use their authority to convince you to take a particular action, but you’re not likely to automatically agree. If something about their story doesn’t sound right, listen to your intuition. But don’t trust your gut on its own; connect your feelings to the facts as you know them. Use both your head and your heart to meticulously untangle all the threads of the emotional tapestry before you choose how to respond. You are neither judge nor jury, but you deserve to know the truth.

 

2019 Goals

2019_goals_hdr

As I travel on my road in recovery I’m trying new things.  In a meeting a good sober friend keeps a “working” goal list. He lists things he wants to accomplish throughout the year working toward them each day.  In addition, I learned good setting includes a “target date” suggested to achieve this goal, thus they are more attainable. As goals are accomplished they will be crossed out.

I’m starting my own list here:

Posted:  December 25, 2018

  • Send Christmas cards to family
  • Celebrate six months of sobriety (March 15, 2019)
  • Celebrate nine months of sobriety (July 15, 2019)
  • Celebrate one year of sobriety (Sept 15, 2019)
  • Finish 12 Step work with Sponsor (Dec 2019)

Posted:  September 22, 2019

  • Upper and lower partial denture placement – October 2019
  • Employment – December 2019
  • Own apartment – January 2019
  • Go back to college LPN, Masters CSIS – Fall 2019

DR – December 25, 2018

Daily Recovery Readings
December 25, 2018

Daily Reflection

AT PEACE WITH LIFE

Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God’s will into all of our activities. “How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

I read this passage each morning, to start off my day, because it is a continual reminder to “practice these principles in all my affairs.” When I keep God’s will at the forefront of my mind, I am able to do what I should be doing, and that puts me at peace with life, with myself and with God.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventure before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, Page 60~

The Language of Letting Go

The Holidays

Sometimes, the holidays are filled with the joy we associate with that time of year. The season flows. Magic is in the air.

Sometimes, the holidays can be difficult and lonely.

Here are some ideas I’ve learned through personal experience, and practice, to help us get through difficult holidays:

Deal with feelings, but try not to dwell unduly on them. Put the holidays in perspective: A holiday is one day out of 365. We can get through any 24-hour period.

Get through the day, but be aware that there may be a post-holiday backlash. Sometimes, if we use our survival behaviors to get through the day, the feelings will catch up to us the next day. Deal with them too. Get back on track as quickly as possible.

Find and cherish the love that’s available, even if it’s not exactly what we want. Is there someone we can give love to and receive love from? Recovering friends? Is there a family who would enjoy sharing their holiday with us? Don’t be a martyr – go. There may be those who would appreciate our offer to share our day with them.

We are not in the minority if we find ourselves experiencing a less than ideal holiday. How easy, but untrue, to tell ourselves the rest of the world is experiencing the perfect holiday, and we’re alone in conflict.

We can create our own holiday agenda. Buy yourself a present. Find someone to whom you can give. Unleash your loving, nurturing self and give in to the holiday spirit.

Maybe past holidays haven’t been terrific. Maybe this year wasn’t terrific. But next year can be better, and the next a little better. Work toward a better life – one that meets your needs. Before long, you’ll have it.

God, help me enjoy and cherish this holiday. If my situation is less than ideal, help me take what’s good and let go of the rest.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

In the sphere of material things, giving means being rich. Not he who has much is rich, but he who gives much.
—Erich Fromm

Material possessions have great significance in our world. Not only do we strive to own a special car, electronic gear, and far more clothes than we need, but we also think in terms of possessing a girlfriend, or our health, or happiness, or things that cannot be owned. Some of us have become addicted to buying and owning things. This gimme-gimme mentality affects us all and, rather than enriching us, it impoverishes us. Tangible things enrich us only when we use them and share them to improve our lives and the lives of others. We don’t need to be wealthy to share what we have with others. It is the sharing that nourishes us and builds bridges between us.

Wise people have known for thousands of years that a man’s spirituality is deeply affected by his relationship to his possessions. When we respect what we own as a gift from God and share it with others, we grow richer spiritually.

I will hold my possessions loosely and with respect so they can be used well and shared.

Twenty-Four Hours a Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Many alcoholics will be saying today: “This is a good Christmas for me.” They will be looking back over the past Christmases which were not like this one. They will be thanking God for their sobriety and their new found life. They will be thinking about how their lives have changed when they came into A.A. They will be thinking that perhaps God let them live through all the hazards of their drinking careers, when they were perhaps often close to death, in order that they may be used by Him in the great work of A.A. Is this a happy Christmas for me?

Meditation For The Day

The kingdom of heaven is also for the lowly, the sinners, the repentant. “And they presented unto him gifts–gold, frankincense, and myrrh.” Bring your gifts of gold–your money and material possessions. Bring your frankincense–the consecration of your life to a worthy cause. Bring your myrrh–your sympathy and understanding and help. Lay them all at the feet of God and let Him have full use of them.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be truly thankful on this Christmas day.
I pray that I may bring my gifts and lay them on the altar.

Keep It Simple

To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another.

–Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibnitz.

Not that we’re getting well. We feel the need for love more than ever. We tried to avoid love by using chemicals to feel good. But it didn’t work. Addiction cut us off even more from people. How do we fill our needs for love? We can think about this fact: People give us love all the time. Only we just haven’t seen it. Every time someone comes to a meeting to get well with us, that is love. Love isn’t all-or-nothing.

Little gems of love are all over. Watch them. Enjoy them. Give them to others.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, love comes from You. Help me see it, and give it.

Action for the Day:
I’ll look three persons in the eye today and send them love in my smile.

Elder’s Meditation

“When you see a new trail, or a footprint that you do not know, follow it to the point of knowing.”

— Grandmother of Charles Eastman, SANTEE SIOUX

We never gain new knowledge or new experience unless we are willing to take risks. It’s good to be curious. Also, it pays to be cautious. Walk in balance. The path of the Warrior is filled with opportunities to seek new knowledge.

As we travel down the Red Road, we will run into trails of opportunity. Down each of these trails are experiences from which we will learn. Experience plus action is the beginning of knowledge.”

Great Spirit, help me to make good choices in choosing only the trails You
would have me take.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Although pleasing people is a priority, it’s harder to maintain a pleasant demeanor if others make too many demands on your time. Old disappointments may resurface, or memories of times when someone took advantage of your nurturing nature might interfere with the flow of today’s events. Burying these inconvenient feelings only stirs up more trouble. When you can find the lesson hiding in the discomfort, the negativity will dissipate. Sharing the joy of the day is easier when there’s no emotional baggage weighing you down.

DR – December 18, 2018

Daily Recovery Readings
December 18, 2018

Daily Reflection

HONESTY WITH NEWCOMERS

Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 93

The marvel of A.A. is that I tell only what happened to me. I don’t waste time offering advice to potential newcomers, for if advice worked, nobody would get to A.A. All I have to do is show what has brought me sobriety and what has changed my life. If I fail to stress the spiritual feature of A.A.’s program, I am being dishonest. The newcomer should not be given a false impression of sobriety. I am sober only through the grace of my Higher Power, and that makes it possible for me to share with others.

Big Book Quote

“We know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself, “Im jittery and alone. I couldn’t do that.” But you can. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself. To duplicate, with such backing, what we have accomplished is only a matter of willingness, patience and labor.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 163~

The Language of Letting Go

Staying Open to Our Feelings

Many of us have gotten so good at following the “don’t feel” rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery.

“If I was really working a good program, I wouldn’t feel angry.”

“I don’t get angry. I’m a Christian. I forgive and forget.”

“I’m not angry. I’m affirming that I’m happy.”

These are all statements, some of them quite clever, that indicate we’re operating under the “don’t feel” rule again.

Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesn’t harden into resentments. We don’t use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions.

Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately. Our Higher Power created the emotional part of ourselves. God is not telling us to not feel; it’s our dysfunctional systems.

We also need to be careful how we use affirmations; discounting our emotions won’t make feelings go away. If we’re angry, it’s okay to have that feeling. That’s part of how we get and stay healthy.

Today, I will refuse to accept shame from others or myself for feeling my feelings.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Ultimately, both parents and children are seen as individuals. For all their claims on one another, each is entitled to a life separate and distinct from the other.

—Francine Klagsbrun

The process of untangling the relationships between ourselves and our parents – as well as with our children – is a long term process. Each of us came into the world helpless. As sons, we had no choice about relying on our parents. We reached manhood with a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and resentment. The same is true of our children. Those of us who are fathers began with an obligation to our children. We may now feel a mixture of commitment, fulfillment, and guilt.

No parent can teach a child everything he or she will need. We all do what we can to continue to learn and grow. We have lifelong commitments to each other – within reason. We are all trying to make our way as best we can. We each need to advance our own well-being and not destroy our lives for the sake of a parent or a child.

Today, I will be responsible for myself. Then I can be more responsible to others.

Twenty-Four Hours a Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Unless we have the key of faith to unlock the meaning of life, we are lost. We do not choose faith because it is one way for us, but because it is the only way. Many have failed and will fail. For we cannot live victoriously without faith; we are at sea without a rudder or an anchor, drifting on the sea of life. Wayfarers without a home. Our souls are restless until they find rest in God. Without faith, our lives are a meaningless succession of unrelated happenings, without rhyme or reason.

Have I come to rest in faith?

Meditation For The Day

This vast universe around us, including this wonderful earth on which we live, was once perhaps only a thought in the mind of God. The nearer the astronomers and the physicists get to the ultimate composition of all things, the nearer the universe approaches a mathematical formula, which is thought. The universe may be the thought of the Great Thinker. We must try to think God’s thoughts after Him. We must try to get the guidance from the Divine Mind as to what His intention is for the world and what part we can have in carrying out that intention.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not worry over the limitations of the human mind. I pray that I may live as though my mind were a reflection of the Divine Mind.

Keep It Simple

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” ~~Franklin D. Roosevelt

As addicts, we had lots of fear. Some of us were afraid of failure. So we didn’t try to do much. Or else we tried too hard all the time. We used alcohol and other drugs to forget our fear, but it didn’t go away. It got worse. Now we know we don’t have to be afraid. When our lives are in the care of our Higher Power, we’re safe. Faith is the cure for out fear. But still, fear keeps creeping back inside us. That’s okay. It’s normal. There is so much that’s new in our sober life! We don’t know what will happen next. It’s hard to always remember to trust our Higher Power. It’s hard to always do what our Higher Power says. It’s hard to always have faith. We have to practice turning our fear over to our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, be with me when I’m afraid. Help me remember to have faith to believe in You, even when my fear tells me not to.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll notice my fear and pray each time get afraid.

Elder’s Meditation

“Parents have to demonstrate the value of trust, respect, and honor.”

— Haida Gwaii, Traditional Circle of Elders

Children learn more by watching than by listening. If we want our children to understand and value trust, they know it by watching how adults live their lives! If we want the children to be respectful, they will observe what the adults do and say to each other. We need to walk our talk. We need to remember the children are watching.

Grandfather, help me learn these important values: Trust, Respect, and Honor.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your tendency to turn inward goes hand in hand with reflecting on your personal history today. Tension builds with regards to how you remember previous events, and this stressful energy beckons you to reexamine your past. Fortunately, you can gain a new understanding about old attachments that still hinder your soul’s growth. One solution to overcome this inner obstacle is asking others for support. Emotional growth isn’t always easy, but you don’t have to work on it in a vacuum. Author Jim Butcher wrote, “Sometimes the only way to carry a heavy burden is to share it with another.”

DR – December 17, 2018

Daily Recovery Readings
December 17, 2018

Daily Reflection

A PRICELESS REWARD

“. . . work with other alcoholics. . . . It works when other activities fail.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89

“Life will take on new meaning,” as the Big Book says (p. 89). This promise has helped me to avoid self-seeking and self-pity. To watch others grow in this wonderful program, to see them improve the quality of their lives, is a priceless reward for my effort to help others. Self-examination is yet another reward for an ongoing recovery, as are serenity, peace and contentment. The energy derived from seeing others on a successful path, of sharing with them the joys of the journey, gives to my life a new meaning.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 77~

The Language of Letting Go

Nurturing Ourselves

Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it’s silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it’s how we show love for ourselves. That’s what we’re striving for in recovery – a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.

When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.

We rest when we’re tired; eat when we’re hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts – a trip to the beauty salon or barbershop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.

As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch – touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn’t feel good or safe and is not positive.

We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.

We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.

Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“The purpose of man’s life is not happiness but worthiness.”

—Felix Adler

When we pursue happiness as a goal for its own sake, we usually reach the opposite point of emptiness. Feeling happy is a by-product of other life experiences. Happiness comes and goes. We welcome it but cannot capture and hold it, nor can we create a recipe for achieving happiness.

We will lead far more successful lives pursuing other values which we do have control over, such as honesty, respect for others and ourselves, seeking loving relationships, and making a contribution to the well being of others. We can accept unhappiness and difficulties without struggle when we know we are doing something that has greater meaning. Our Eleventh Step tells us we pray only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. This helps us focus on God’s purpose for us. We can have an inner sense of joy knowing we are leading meaningful lives, even when we aren’t having a particularly happy day.

I will seek the goals that make my life worthwhile and welcome happiness when it comes.

Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The way of faith is of course not confined to A.A. It is the way for everybody who wants to really live. But many people can go through life without much of it. Many are doing so, to their own sorrow. The world is full of lack of faith. Many people have lost confidence in any meaning in the universe. Many are wondering if it has any meaning at all. Many are at loose ends. Life has no goal for many. They are strangers in the land. They are not at home. But for us in A.A. the way of faith is the way of life. We have proved by our past lives that we could not live without it. Do I think I could live happily without faith?

Meditation For The Day

“He maketh His sun rise on the evil and the good, and sends the rain on the just and the unjust.” God does not interfere with the working of natural laws. The laws of nature are unchangeable, otherwise we could not depend on them. As far as natural laws are concerned, God makes no distinction between good and bad people. Sickness or death may strike anywhere. But spiritual laws are also made to be obeyed. On our choice of good or evil depends whether we go upward to true success and victory in life or downward to loss and defeat.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may choose today the way of the spiritual life.
I pray that I may live today with faith and hope and love.

Keep It Simple

The rose and the thorn, and sorrow and gladness are linked together. –Saadi.

When we were drinking and drugging, we didn’t have to deal much with feelings. We turned them off. Then, when we let go of the alcohol and other drugs, we started to come back to life. Now–we have feelings again! But, even now, in recovery, we’re scared of too much happiness. It’s true–we don’t want sadness and pain at all. Yet, feelings–the good and the bad–keep on coming.

And we have to handle them. We are learning to handle our feelings. We’re getting strong enough to deal with them. With the help of our friends in the program, and our Higher Power, we’re ready for life.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, I want to be fully alive, but I’m a little scared. Help me know what to do with my feelings today.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll be open to feelings. I’ll enjoy my good feelings and share them. I’ll ask for help with hard feelings by praying, and by calling my sponsor.

Elder’s Meditation

“Hear me! A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong.”

— Tecumseh, SHAWNEE

You can take one arrow and break it in half. But if you take 12 arrows in a bundle, it’s almost impossible to break any of them. There is strength in Unity. When we are together we are very powerful. This is the way the ancestors told us we need to be. Strong. We need to unite ourselves. This is why the Elders say, when we make decisions, we must first consider the good of the people. If every person in the community thinks this way, then we will always make strong decisions.

Creator, let my decisions have the strength of the bundle.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

People might brand you as someone whose moods change like the tides. However, your emotional flexibility has its merits, even if others are not aware of them. Although you may appear to be extreme in your reactions as your feelings fluctuate throughout the day, you’re simply processing a wide spectrum of possibilities before you decide which position is worth defending. Don’t fall into the trap of making a choice too soon because the cosmic energy is still in flux. Remember, letting go of the old is how you make room for the new.

DR – December 14, 2018

Daily Recovery Readings
December 14, 2018

Daily Reflection

REACHING OUT

Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 95

When I come into contact with a newcomer, do I have a tendency to look at him from my perceived angle of success in A.A.? Do I compare him with the large number of acquaintances I have made in the Fellowship? Do I point out to him in a magisterial way the voice of A.A.? What is my real attitude toward him? I must examine myself whenever I meet a newcomer to make sure that I am carrying the message with simplicity, humility and generosity. The one who still suffers from the terrible disease of alcoholism must find in me a friend who will allow him to get to know the A.A. way, because I had such a friend when I arrived in A.A. Today it is my turn to hold out my hand, with love, to my sister or brother alcoholic, and to show her or him the way to happiness.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 133~

The Language of Letting Go

Clear Thinking

Strive for clear thinking. Many of us have had our thinking clouded by denial. Some of us have even lost faith in ourselves because we’ve spent a degree of time in denial. But losing faith in our thinking isn’t going to help us. What we need to lose faith in is denial.

We didn’t resort to denial – either of someone else’s problem or our own – because we were deficient. Denial, the shock absorber for the soul, protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality.

Clear thinking and recovery don’t mean we will never resort to denial. Denial is the first step toward acceptance, and for most of our life, we will be striving to accept something.

Clear thinking means we don’t allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate.

We keep our thinking on track by asking our Higher Power to help us think clearly – not by expecting Him, or someone else, to do our thinking for us.

Today, I will strive for balanced, clear thought in all areas of my life.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you’re keeping the man-child alive.

—John Cassavetes

Creation is the work of God. It is not given to most of us to be famous artists. But the spiritual experience of being creative is open to us when we take on a creative attitude toward what we are doing. We might do this on the job when we determine to do more than just get the job done. We may decide to have fun while we do what needs to be done, or we may decide to put our best spirit into the work before us. Some men find creativity in working with wood, others in coaching sports with children, someone else in cooking, and another in community service.

Being creative moves us toward wholeness as people. As we create on the outside, we are being created on the inside. The way in which we live every aspect of our lives is a creative, growing process and a partnership with God.

As I approach this day, I will have an attitude of creativity that will nurture the wondering child within me.

Twenty-Four Hours a Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

The way of A.A. is the way of service. Without that, it would not work. We have been “on the wagon” and hated it. We have taken the pledge and waited for the time to be up with impatience. We have tried in all manner of ways to help ourselves. But not until we begin to help other people do we get full relief. It is an axiom that the A.A. program has to be given away in order to be kept. A river flows into the Dead Sea and stops. A river flows into a clear pool and flows out again. We get and then we give. If we do not give, we do not keep. Have I given up all ideas of holding A.A. for myself
alone?

Meditation For The Day

Try to see the life of the spirit as a calm place, shut away from the turmoil of the world. Think of your spiritual home as a place full of peace, serenity, and contentment. Go to this quiet, meditative place for the strength to carry you through today’s duties and problems. Keep coming back here for refreshment when you are weary of the hubbub of the outside world. From this quietness and communion comes our strength.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may keep this resting place where I can commune with God. I pray that I may find refreshment in meditation on the Eternal.

Keep It Simple

Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is broken winged bird that cannot fly.

–Langston Hughes

Many of our dreams died as our addiction got worse. We felt the loss but couldn’t speak it. With recovery, we regain our ability to dream. Dreams of sharing our lives with family and friends return. They push out thoughts of getting high. Dreams of pride and self-respect reappear. They replace the awful feeling of shame. Like the quote above says, “Hold fast to dreams….” Our dreams are our wishes for the future.

They hold a picture of who we want to be. In our dreams, we let our spirits soar. Often, we fell close to God, others and ourselves. Thanks God, we can dream again.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, thanks to you, my wings have been mended. Guide me as I fly.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll take time out to dream and share my dream with those I love.

Elder’s Meditation

“Male and female is fundamental to life; partners in work to be done.”

— Oren R. Lyons, Spokesman, Traditional Circle of Elders

The Great Spirit created a system which would allow us to reproduce, to have companionship, to love, to laugh, to cry, and be happy. Man and Woman each have gifts the other doesn’t have. But, together they have these gifts to share with each other. The Great Spirit made it this way. So let us treat each other with respect. Let us look upon each other in a sacred way.

Grandfather, Grandmother, bring the spirits to teach us.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

In spite of your naturally sympathetic nature, you are intent on maintaining healthy boundaries today. Your vulnerability is magnified by the compassionate Pisces Moon dancing with veiled Neptune. The convergence of such cosmic energy makes it difficult to keep yourself from becoming engulfed by the injustices of the world. However, you can still be aware of the emotional upheaval around you without internalizing it. Spend some time in quiet contemplation today, and you will discover the balance between overwhelm, escapism, and empathy. Peace starts at home.