DR – July 29, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 29, 2017:

Daily Reflection

ANONYMOUS GIFTS OF KINDNESS

As active alcoholics we were always looking for a handout in one way or another. — “THE TWELVE TRADITIONS ILLUSTRATED,” p. 14

The challenge of the Seventh Tradition is a personal challenge, reminding me to share and give of myself. Before sobriety the only thing I ever supported was my habit of drinking. Now my efforts are a smile, a kind word, and kindness.

I saw that I had to start carrying my own weight and to allow my new friends to walk with me because, through the practice of the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, I’ve never had it so good.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“My drinking assumed more serious proportions, continuing all day and almost every night. The remonstrances of my friends terminated in a row and I became a lone wolf.” ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 3~

Keep It Simple

They have rights who dare defend them. ––Roger Baldwin

In recovery, we regain our right to have choices, our right to have honest relationships. Do we claim these rights, or do we let them go by?

Sometimes, standing up for our rights will mean going against the crowd. It will mean turning down that drink when everyone else has one. It will mean telling your honest opinion when it’s different from the others think. Being sober will mean, at times being different. Lots of times, we find being different hard. We want to fit in. This is normal.

But we don’t stand alone. We have friends who will stand with us during hard times. We have a Higher Power who will guide and comfort us. We are people with rights. Let’s work hard so nothing takes away our rights.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, please help me keep and defend my dignity and human rights.

Action for the Day:
I’ll take time out to list the rights I’ve gotten back due to my recovery.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

There’s a special satisfaction you derive from taking care of your personal possessions. Whether you are refinishing a cherished piece of furniture, sorting through family heirlooms, or just tinkering about your home, you love surrounding yourself with your favorite things. However, what begins as a casual activity could transform into a major project today. Remember, you define what is important to you by where you spend your time. Energy flows where attention goes.

Reflection (The Big Move)

It’s been almost 30 days since I moved from a small town in Upstate New York to even a smaller village (1500+, 2010 census). There was a lot of apprehension at first. But as time went by I trusted all things would work out. Despite my complete solitude of “living in the sticks”, I absolutely believe I made the second best decision of my life.

I had some fear, whether I expressed it or not, about moving. The worry was whether or not I could really afford such a place because part of me felt I was only fooling myself. Thus, I had/have another fear in a few months I would have to move again. At this stage, I don’t think such events are going to transpire. Keeping a positive outlook certainly, helps.

In addition, I have learned minimizing (or the minimalist lifestyle) is actually working for me. There is a bunch of stuff in the front bedroom. Most of it needs to be moved in its respective places. For instance, all the computer equipment, fitness weights, and filing cabinet should be moved to the room I”m occupying. But I don’t want to clutter the room I’m living in because I enjoy the space.

While I still don’t have furniture, it still feels like home. Most of my time is spent in the kitchen, one bedroom, and laundry room/bathroom. Some have asked, “Why a three bedroom for a bachelor like yourself?” One bedroom is where I’ll sleep, wh ile another is going to be my computer/spiritual/fitness room. The third bedroom (in the very far future) will be set up for a guest to visit.

I still don’t have financial control over everything. Since I just moved in I’m paying partial bills, so doing so does frustrate me a bit. I haven’t visited a grocery store for ONE big trip and then making little trips for other things; I just don’t have the money set aside for a big grocery trip yet. However, I have saved significantly on gas for my car. The last full tank of gas was almost a week ago instead of every two to three days. I’ve even cut down on smoking. Since I only smoke in my car or at work, one pack of cigarettes can last two or even three days. It’s just going to take time and I have to be patient.

While there are a few fears left (i.e. what happens if I need my car fixed, I can’t afford this or that, I lose my job, etc.), they don’t bother me too much.  Instead, they tend to creep up but fade away rather quickly. To be honest, it also gets very dark since there is the one street lamp on the other side of the road at night. My front porch light blew out during a rain storm. Therefore at night, I get a little nervous. But everyone else doesn’t have one single light on, so I have to trust something won’t happen. These things will subside in time.

I just absolutely love the solitude. It’s not that I’m anti-social or isolating. I think this time in my life is a period of reflection and spiritual growth. Since I’ve finally left the rat race of the city/town, I can dedicate some full time to the spiritual side of me, which lately is really lacking. I have set a special date which my daily routine will begin.

All is good in the country, despite my solitude from the rest of the world.

 

 

DR – July 28, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 28, 2017:

Daily Reflection

THOSE WHO STILL SUFFER

Let us resist the proud assumption that since God has enabled us to do well in one area we are destined to be a channel of saving grace for everybody.

— A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 232

A.A. groups exist to help alcoholics achieve sobriety. Large or small, firmly established or brand-new, speaker, discussion or study, each group has but one reason for being: to carry the message to the still-suffering alcoholic. The group exists so that the alcoholic can find a new way of life, a life abundant in happiness, joy, and freedom. To recover, most alcoholics need the support of a group of other alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope. Thus my sobriety and our program’s survival depend on my determination to put first things first.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“But life among Alcoholics Anonymous is more than attending gatherings and visiting hospitals. Cleaning up old scrapes, helping to settle family differences, explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents, lending money and securing jobs for each other, when justified—these are everyday occurrences. No one is too discredited or has sunk too low to be welcomed cordially—if he means business.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 161~

Keep It Simple

The best leaders are those who know how to follow.—Anonymous

Am I a leader or a follower? The fact is, I am responsible for where I end up. If I choose to be a follower, I’d better follow leaders who know where they are going. And I had better know where they’re going.

If I choose to be a leader, I’d better know that I’m responsible for getting myself on the right path. I also must be honest with my followers, o they can make good choices. I’m not responsible for my followers choices, but I must give them the truth. Being a leader doesn’t always mean that I know where I’ll end up. But it can mean that I know I’m on the right path, following the lead from my Higher Power—one step at a time.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, give me the faith and courage to choose good leaders to follow. When it is Your will, help me be a good leader.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list my leaders. They might be a Higher Power, a sponsor, or a friend. I’ll think of why I choose to follow these leaders.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Keeping your desires under wraps seems like a smart strategy today. You don’t want to create any weird interpersonal dynamics and you’re afraid that talking about your feelings will complicate matters at work. It appears as if sharing your attractions and repulsions is not the problem; it’s how others respond that makes things messy. However, as Noam Chomsky wrote, “You are responsible for the predictable consequences of your actions.”

DR – July 27, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 27, 2017:

Daily Reflection

GIVING FREELY

We will make every personal sacrifice necessary to insure the unity of Alcoholics Anonymous. We will do this because we have learned to love God and one another.

— A.A. comes of age, p. 234

To be self-supporting through my own contributions was never a strong characteristic during my days as a practicing alcoholic. The giving of time or money always demanded a price tag.

As a newcomer I was told “we have to give it away in order to keep it.” As I began to adopt the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous in my life, I soon found it was a privilege to give to the Fellowship as an expression of the gratitude I felt in my heart. My love of God and of others became the motivating factor in my life, with no thought of return. I realize now that giving freely is God’s way of expressing Himself through me.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks—, drinks which they see others taking with impunity.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Doctor’s Opinion, pg. xxviii~

Keep It Simple

To enjoy freedom, we have to control ourselves. Virginia Woolf

Freedom is a funny thing, in a way, it makes life harder. We are free to do what we want but every choice makes a difference in our lives. Some choices make us happy and some bring trouble.

We can make good choices. We can control our actions. We can start by having control in little ways: follow the law, pay the rent, and make the bed every day. These choices put order in our lives. Eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep. These choices make us strong enough to live each day to the fullest.

These kinds of choices set us free.

Prayer for the day:
Higher Power, I was drinking and drugging. I couldn’t enjoy my freedom. I had no control over the little things in my life. Help me stay sober today.

Action for the day:
Today, I’ll be grateful for having some control. I will list five way I am more free because I can control my actions.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You feel quite magnanimous toward your friends and family, often going out of your way to shower them with praise or gifts. However, you could be generous to a fault today, giving so much that you leave little left over for your own needs. Self-improvement can be just as important now as doing good deeds. Ultimately, finding the balance between caring for yourself and loving others is a never-ending dance. Colonel William Prescott wrote, “Self-interest, be it enlightened, works indirectly for the public good.”

DR – July 26, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 26, 2017:

Daily Reflection

THE “WORTH” OF SOBRIETY

Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 160

When I go shopping I look at the prices and if I need what I see, I buy it and pay. Now that I am supposed to be in rehabilitation, I have to straighten out my life. When I go to a meeting, I take a coffee with sugar and milk, sometimes more than one. But at the collection time, I am either too busy to take money out of my purse, or I do not have enough, but I am there because I need this meeting. I heard someone suggest dropping the price of a beer into the basket, and I thought, that’s too much! I almost never give one dollar. Like many others, I rely on the more generous members to finance the Fellowship. I forget that it takes money to rent the meeting room, buy my milk, sugar and cups. I will pay, without hesitation, ninety cents for a cup of coffee at a restaurant after the meeting; I always have money for that. So, how much is my sobriety and my inner peace worth?

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“To sum up about sex: We earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each  questionable situation, for sanity, and for the strength to do the right thing. If sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others. We think of their needs and work for them. This takes us out of ourselves. It quiets the imperious urge, when to yield would mean heartache.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 70~

Keep It Simple

I was never less alone when by myself.—Edward Gibson

To stay in this program, we need to accept that we have an illness. We need to accept that we were
out of control. And we need to accept that we need others and they need us. At times, we won’t want to accept these facts. We will want to deny we have an illness and our lives were out of control.

Many of us get into trouble when we don’t accept that we need others. This is why helping others is so important. It teaches us that we need others, and others need us. By helping others, we learn about the give-and-take of human relationships. There is no give-an-take in addiction. There is just take. Now, finally, we can give too!

Prayer for the Day:
I pray to remember that I need other people.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll help out. I will make coffee at the next meeting or offer to do the Step next week. I will let a fellow addict know I’m glad he or she is sober.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Take full responsibility for your body today, but don’t just run to the internet to search for the latest-breaking news story about another amazing elixir. Seriously reassess what you can do to improve your physical endurance and cultivate healing. Forget about discovering a magical fix; healthy changes to your diet and lifestyle will positively impact your well-being. Set yourself up for maximum success by starting with small but significant steps, building from this foundation as you begin to see tangible results. Desiderius Erasmus wrote, “Prevention is better than cure.”

DR – July 25, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 25, 2017:

Daily Reflection

THOSE WHO STILL SUFFER

For us, if we neglect those who are still sick, there is unremitting
danger to our own lives and sanity.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151

I know the torment of drinking compulsively to quiet my nerves and
my fears. I also know the pain of white-knuckled sobriety. Today, I
do not forget the unknown person who suffers quietly, withdrawn and
hiding in the desperate relief of drinking. I ask my Higher Power to
give me His guidance and the courage to be willing to be His
instrument to carry within me compassion and unselfish actions. Let
the group continue to give me the strength to do with others what I
cannot do alone.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 5~

Keep It Simple

If the spirit within us withers (dies), so to will all the world we build around us.—Theodore Roszab
This is what happened during our illness—our spirits were dying. Our relationships were dying. this is because addiction is death.
And recovery is life! The Steps breathe like into us. Our groups breathe life into us. We start to heal because we once again feel hope. We’re less afraid of what tomorrow may bring. As our hope grows, others feel it too.
We’re starting to slowly rebuild our world. We’re building our world on the Twelve Steps and their message of hope.
Prayer for the Day: I give myself to life. Higher Power, work with me as I rebuild my world.
Action for the Day: I’ll talk with a friend about hope. I’ll see my hope as a sign of how close I am to my program.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

If the spirit within us withers (dies), so to will all the world we build around us.—Theodore Roszab
This is what happened during our illness—our spirits were dying. Our relationships were dying. this is because addiction is death.
And recovery is life! The Steps breathe like into us. Our groups breathe life into us. We start to heal because we once again feel hope. We’re less afraid of what tomorrow may bring. As our hope grows, others feel it too.
We’re starting to slowly rebuild our world. We’re building our world on the Twelve Steps and their message of hope.
Prayer for the Day: I give myself to life. Higher Power, work with me as I rebuild my world.
Action for the Day: I’ll talk with a friend about hope. I’ll see my hope as a sign of how close I am to my program.

DR – July 24, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 23, 2017:

Daily Reflection

HELPING OTHERS

Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 20

Self-centeredness was my problem. All my life people had been doing things for me and I not only expected it, but I was ungrateful and resentful they didn’t do more. Why should I help others, when they were supposed to help me? If others had troubles, didn’t they deserve them? I was filled with self-pity, anger, and resentment. Then I learned that by helping others, with no thought of return, I could overcome this obsession with selfishness, and if I understood humility, I would know peace and serenity. No longer do I need to drink.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job — wife or no wife — we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 98~

Keep It Simple

The work of adult life is not easy.—Gail Sheehy

We used to look for an easier, softer way. We tried to take care of ourselves by staying clear of the hard task. The result? We haven’t known what the work of adult life is.

The work of adult life is this: to become spiritually centered. And to do this, we work at getting rid of our self-will. There will be many great rewards for doing this. We will wake up spiritually. We will connect with those we love. The result? We will receive self-love to replace self-will. Our work will not be easy, but it will be rewarding.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me to give all to my recovery program. Then help me to be open to the rewards this will bring.

Action for the Day:
I will list the hard parts of my program. Then I’ll talk about them with my sponsor, friends, family, and Higher Power.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You are receiving mixed messages while conflicting planetary patterns battle for your attention. Independent Uranus tells you there’s no reason to act hesitantly as long as you’re being truthful. However, nothing is as simple as it appears because the present dynamic also includes strict Saturn who commands you to keep a stiff upper lip and push on through your resistance. It may seem impossible at first, but you must find a way to be both spontaneous and patient at the same time. Kurt Cobain said, “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.”

DR – July 23, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 23, 2017:

Daily Reflection

I ASK GOD TO DECIDE

“I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76

Having admitted my powerlessness and made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him, I don’t decide which defects get removed, or the order in which defects get removed, or the time frame in which they get removed. I ask God to decide which defects stand in the way of my usefulness to Him and to others, and then I humbly ask Him to remove them.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“An illness of this sort— and we have come to believe it an illness—, involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 18~

Keep It Simple

Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.-–Laurence Couglin

“Do I talk to much?” Most of us wonder this sometimes. There are some ways to find out.

Asked yourself these questions: “How much do I know about people in my life?”

“What do they think and feel?” “Do I listen to them?” “Do I often feel that I say too much?”

Then ask a few trusted friends these questions: “Do you think I talk to much?” “How well do you think I listen to you?”

Silence help us listen—to ourselves, to others, and to our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me enjoy the silent moments in my day.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll think before I speak. what do I really want to say.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Sometimes people don’t stop to notice your competence because you’re so adept at supporting others. However, the energy is shifting and you can proudly strut your stuff without being too self-conscious now. It actually might feel amazing to appear in the spotlight while the proud Leo New Moon shakes up your 2nd House of Self-Worth. There’s no reason to shy away from the recognition you rightly deserve. Bask in the warm appreciation you receive for the special gifts you bring to the party.

DR – July 22, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for July 21, 2017:

Daily Reflection

“THE GOOD AND THE BAD”
“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76

The joy of life is in the giving. Being freed of my shortcomings, that I may more freely be of service, allows humility to grow in me. My shortcomings can be humbly placed in God’s loving care and be removed. The essence of Step Seven is humility, and what better way to seek humility than by giving all of myself – good and bad – to God, so that He may remove the bad and return to me the good.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Now and then the family will be plagued by spectres from the past, for the drinking career of almost every alcoholic has been marked by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful or tragic. The first impulse will be to bury these skeletons in a dark closet and padlock the door. The family may be possessed by the idea that future happiness can be based only upon forgetfulness of the past. We think that such a view is self-centered and in direct conflict with the new way of living.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 123~

Keep It Simple

. . . for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you. —Luke 17:21

We want so much to be good. Even when we used alcohol or other drugs, we wanted to believe we were good people. But we often felt we couldn’t measure up. We thought we had to live by a set of rules that we could never follow.

Now we’re finding the goodness inside us. Goodness isn’t something we do. Goodness is just being what we already are. Our Higher Power speaks to us in many ways, including through our hearts and minds. We don’t have to try so hard top be good. We just learn to relax and invite our Higher Power to be part of our lives.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, You have put peace, knowledge, love and joy in my heart today. Help me to always find these things.

Action for the Day:
How’s my Higher Power like a loving king or queen? How can I have a kingdom inside me? I’ll talk with my sponsor about this today.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may be relieved once the bright Sun leaves your sign today, allowing you to work your magic quietly behind the scenes. Nevertheless, you don’t want too much isolation now that the Sun is shining in expressive Leo. Although you wish you had one singular goal so you could simply get on with your business, you’re actually being pulled in two totally different directions. Ultimately, you might be happiest if you toss your previous agenda and go with the current flow. Nothing positive will be gained by trying to hang onto the illusion of control.

Trying to Stay Strong

To be honest, I’m not sure how much longer I can cope with working six days a week, accepting to work weekends and working long stretches before a day off. My reasons are selfish – I need the money. I’m still trying to adjust financially but it is taking a toll on my physically, mentally and spiritually. I’m just so exhausted.

I have committed to this schedule for the month of July. It’s almost over but in the meantime, I’ve noticed my patience with people is wearing very thin. The stupidity and arrogance of people just propel me over the edge. Unfortunately, I’m not able to just “walk away” (or I will lose my job). They are co-workers and residents I simply have to grind my teeth and smile.

At home, I knew the responsibility of owning a cat was going to be a difficult change.  Heart, my cat, is used to a certain routine for the last decade or more. She’s resorted to waking me up between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. to be fed. If I try to ignore her, I receive a wet lick on the nose until I wake up.  Today it was 5:45 a.m. Unfortunately once I wake up, I’m up for a couple of hours until I can lay down (as I’m going to do after posting this). I feed her 1/2 can of wet in the morning and the other when I get home from work. There is a small dish of dry food if she’s hungry in between. After eating its all about getting love and attention. I’m okay with it but it goes on and on and on. When she walks away to lay down I have to (literally) sneak away quietly. The other day she played “dead to the world” but had that one eye open just in case, jump, up at the moment I tried to move. I have always loved this cat to death but I didn’t mean it literally.

In the meantime, I haven’t done much around the house. The windows all need measuring for curtains or coverings. At least once a week I throw a load of laundry but it only ends up sitting on my dryer unfolded. I still haven’t been to a grocery store to stock my cabinets and actually cook meals at home. There are simply things I want to do but either don’t have the money or the energy to do them.

Enough. I need pleasant thoughts to get some sleep.