Category: Daily Recovery Readings

DR – March 16, 2018

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings3 Comments

Daily Recovery Readings
March 16, 2018

Daily Reflection

AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM

My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. . . . “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last. It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 12

I remember the times I looked up into the sky and reflected on who started it all, and how. When I came to A.A., an understanding of some description of the spiritual dimension became a necessary adjunct to a stable sobriety. After reading a variety of versions, including the scientific, of a great explosion, I went for simplicity and made the God of my understanding the Great Power that made the explosion possible. With the vastness of the universe under His command, He would, no doubt, be able to guide my thinking and actions if I was prepared to accept His guidance. But I could not expect help if I turned my back on that help and went my own way. I became willing to believe and I have had 26 years of stable and satisfying sobriety.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 100

Keep It Simple

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.-–Oscar Wilde

We all change. We learn, and change, and grow. We once made alcohol or other drugs our Higher Power. Perhaps we had other higher powers too—like money, gambling, food, or sex. But, it’s never too late to be in touch with a true Higher Power. Each day we follow a false higher power, we aren’t.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me put my life and will in Your hands today. Help me be a saint, just for today.

Action for the Day:
How have my ideas about saints and sinners changed since I got into a Twelve Step program?
I’ll talk with my sponsor about it today.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

There is no immediate cure for your high level of idealism now. You’re unwilling to accept reality as the arbiter of what you can and cannot do. Nevertheless, you are unable to avoid the circumstances of the moment, except when you escape into your dreams. But metaphysical solutions can be delusional, unless they impact the three-dimensional world in a positive manner. Historian Daniel Boorstin wrote, “The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”

DR – March 15, 2018

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
March 15, 2018

Daily Reflection

THE GOD IDEA

When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52

Like a blind man gradually being restored to sight, I slowly groped my way to the Third Step. Having realized that only a Power greater than myself could rescue me from the hopeless abyss I was in, I knew that this was a Power that I had to grasp, and that it would be my anchor in the midst of a sea of woes. Even though my faith at that time was minuscule, it was big enough to make me see that it was time for me to discard my reliance on my prideful ego and replace it with the steadying strength that could only come from a Power far greater than myself.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 19

Keep It Simple

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.-–Mae West

This sums up how we used to live. We were in love with ourselves. We had to be on center stage.

Our self-will ran riot. Recovery pulls us out of that world. We learn to focus on others. We learn to reach out to them with love. This is the best way to love ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we live our lives through others. It means we invite others into our lives. It also means we ask to be invited into their lives. Recovery breaks down our self-will. It makes room for others in our lives.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, I give You my self-will. I know You’ll do better with it than me.

Action for the Day:
I’ll list three ways my self-will has messed up my life. How am I doing at turning over these things to my Higher Power?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You have your heart set on making a dream come true, but the magic of manifestation can be elusive. Unfortunately, there’s no simple recipe to follow when every situation is vastly different. However, practicing some form of meditation is always helpful because it calms your mind and enables you to prioritize the steps you need to take on your way to success. Rather than talking about whatever pops into your head, bring only the most relevant issues into your conversations now. Mildred Barthel wrote, “Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.”

Father Winter Just Go To Sleep Already

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings, Personal1 Comment

Wasn’t it back on February 2, 2018, Punxsutawney Phil of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania (and some sources saying seven other groundhogs) saw their shadow, thus six more weeks of Winter would be falling upon us?  Well, six weeks is longer over due.  Yet, Father Winter continues to spread that white, fluffy stuff consistently on the ground. Can’t Father Winter just go to sleep already?

Looking outside my window, it’s snowing pretty good.  Some reports say only one to three inches, others say more.  It makes road conditions not favorable for me.  It’s not an excuse when I drive my car up and down, right and left, through sharp turns wondering if I’m going to get home or get to work for that matter.

I’ve been reading a lot of recovery material in the last couple of days. Is there something I could have done differently to prevent what happened a couple weeks ago?  Yes and no.  First, I didn’t have to drink at all.  There was no reason. But I choose to act upon my stupidity and now I must accept the consequences of those decisions.  Second, I could have called my ex-Sponsor despite our difference of opinions and my own thoughts of his own actions. We all have flaws and I need to simply put my differences to the side and allow him to give me the messages I need to stay sober.  Three, despite the weather, I could have dragged my arse to a meeting despite the current weather situation.

But my past actions are neither here nor there.  What’s done is done.  I need only to look forward for right now.  I don’t have regrets; I feel disappointmt with myself. It comes and go in waves. The more days I have sober, the less I step backwards and the more I move forward.

Things will fall in place at the right time when they are suppose to . . .

DR – March 14, 2018

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

 

Daily Recovery Readings
March 14, 2018

Daily Reflection

THE KEYSTONE

He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

A keystone is the wedge-shaped piece at the highest part of an arch that locks the other pieces in place. The “other pieces” are Steps One, Two, and Four through Twelve. In one sense this sounds like Step Three is the most important Step, that the other eleven depend on the third for support. In reality however, Step Three is just one of twelve. It is the keystone, but without eleven other stones to build the base and arms, keystone or not, there will be no arch. Through daily working of all Twelve Steps, I find that triumphant arch waiting for me to pass through to another day of freedom.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 12~

Keep It Simple

Archie doesn’t know how to worry without getting upset. — Edith Bunker

Most us are like Edith’s television husband, Archie. When we worry, we get upset. Problems seem too big for us. We get afraid. We feel powerless. What does the program tell us to do when we feel powerless and our life is upset? We look at the problem honestly . Than we ask our Higher Power to help us with the problem. We take it One Day at a Time. We believe our Higher Power will take care of us and help. We’ll have problems. That’s life! But we can get through them with care and support. We don’t have to get crazy. We don’t have to make things worst. We can be kind to ourselves and live through problems just fine—with our Higher Powers help.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me do what I can today about my problems. Help me stop worrying.

Action for the Day:
If I have problems today, I’ll do what I can—and leave the outcome to my Higher Power.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You don’t have to take no for an answer from the cosmos today, especially if you know your efforts will benefit many people in the long run. But your altruistic intentions are only part of the big picture. It’s not going to be an easy route to get others to accept your ideas now. Nevertheless, you can’t give up because you’re on an important mission. Imagine you’re a river flowing downstream; you will surely encounter resistance, but ultimately a few obstructions won’t put an end to your journey. Nothing has the strength to prevent you from finding your way to the sea when you’re determined to fulfill your destiny.

DR – March 13, 2018

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
March 12, 2018

Daily Reflection

A WORLD OF THE SPIRIT

We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The word “entered” . . . and the phrase “entered into the world of the Spirit” are very significant. They imply action, a beginning, getting into, a prerequisite to maintaining my spiritual growth, the “Spirit” being the immaterial part of me. Barriers to my spiritual growth are self-centeredness and a materialistic focus on worldly things. Spirituality means devotion to spiritual instead of worldly things, it means obedience to God’s will for me. I understand spiritual things to be: unconditional love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control and humility. Any time I allow selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear to be a part of me, I block out spiritual things. As I maintain my sobriety, growing spiritually becomes a lifelong process. My goal is spiritual growth, accepting that I’ll never have spiritual perfection.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: ‘What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic’s plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.'”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 43~

Keep It Simple

God loves the world through us—Mother Teresa

In Step Three, we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. How do we feel God’s care, God’s love? We feel God’s care and love through how people treat us. Our Higher Power works through people who love us back to life. With time, we begin returning this care and love to others. We feel this warm love flow right through us and out to others. We’re kind without trying to be. We smile at others for no reason. We comfort those who hurt just by holding them.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, use me to make Your love real to someone today.

Action for the Day:
Fear sometimes keeps me from loving. I’ll list three things I’m afraid will happen if I’m “to loving.” I’ll share these fears with my sponsor.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You could be overreacting to the current situation, even if someone is telling you no. Experiencing rejection is never fun, whether it is personal or professional. But instead of retreating behind a wall of emotional protection, begin a dialogue about your worries. You don’t need to start the conversation with a discussion of your fear of abandonment. Instead, stick to the issues and explore what can be done to bridge the gulf without severing all ties. There is a valuable gem at the edge of your awareness waiting to be found.

Hard Decisions in Early Sobriety

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

I’ve always descibed “life” as a flowing river with us (either the active/recovering addict) standing on a stepping stone in the middle. No matter what, life is going to go around us no matter how many dams we try to build to stop its flow. In early sobriety life doesn’t suddenly reset. Many times we have to make some life changing, hard decisions.

Back in 2007, when I first got sober, I made a decision to acccept a new path ahead of me.  We (or professionals) talk about “changing people, places and things”. But doing so for many of us isn’t an option. I was given the chance at the time and flew with it.  Allowing others to make the right decisions for me, when I didn’t know how was the best decision of my life.

However, today I’m on the other side of the coin.  I don’t have those choices. I simply can’t drop everything and everyone to start a new life in sobriety.  Luckily I still have a job, transportation to that job and a roof over my head. Others are not so lucky. For me, I’ve made bad decisions in my early sobriety this time around but I vowed to accept the consequences of my decisions. Making such decisions is not an easy task.

After a couple days of stewing the thought in my mind I finally picked up the phone and send a message to my sister to ask for a short term loan. I didn’t want to, at all. I had no more tears to run down my face.  It was either do it or don’t. She kindly responded she would discuss it with her husband and get back to me.  While that may be so, I still have no expectations. I don’t want to build hope she will bail me out because if she doesn’t pull through I’m just going to be disappointed. Instead I plan ahead as if I hadn’t asked and let my HP take control.

Another decision was made to start working more hours at work.  This was another difficult decision. But I have to sacrifice part of my life to pay the bills, especially at this time.  I just need to remember not to over do it.  So I only have worked one double shift (16 hours) yesterday. This week I haven’t decided to do it again.

The Twelve AA Promises in our program, at its end, read:

“Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us
– sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.”

Alcoholics Anonymous pages 83 and 84
Reprinted from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
with permission of A.A. World
Services, Inc.

While I may not hold any expectations of coming events, I do have hope . . .

 

DR – March 12, 2018

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
March 12, 2018

Daily Reflection

A DAY’S PLAN

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86

Every day I ask God to kindle within me the fire of His love, so that love, burning bright and clear, will illuminate my thinking and permit me to better do His will. Throughout the day, as I allow outside circumstances to dampen my spirits, I ask God to sear my consciousness with the awareness that I can start my day over any time I choose; a hundred times, if necessary.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself: “I’m jittery and alone. I couldn’t do that.” But you can. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself. To duplicate, with such backing, what we have accomplished is only a matter of willingness, patience and labor.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 163~

Keep It Simple

The Twelve Step program is spiritual, based on action coming from love . . . Martha Cleveland

To be spiritual means to be an active person. It means spending time with others. It means sharing love. It means looking for ways to be more loving to others. It means looking for ways to make the world a better place. Step Three helps us to look at the world better. We turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power. So Lets allow care to direct our lives. Let’s always be asking ourselves, “Is what I’m doing something that shows care?”

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, let me be active in a loving, caring way. Let the love in my heart be my guide.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll do something good for someone and keep it a secret.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Relationship troubles may erupt today, especially if you feel as if someone is trying to control your every move. But you’re willing to stand up for your independence and do whatever it takes now to break free of the stifling emotional dynamics. Once you decide to follow your own star, there’s not much anyone can do to keep you down. However, if you find yourself at risk of slipping back into your old pattern, you can put an end to the conflict by simply pulling your energy in. Retreating is not an act of defeat, but a way to remain in charge of your own destiny.

DR – March 11, 2018

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
March 11, 2018

Daily Reflection

GOOD ORDERLY DIRECTION

It is when we try to make our will conform with God’s that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God’s intention for us. To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.’s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door.

~TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 40

All I have to do is look back at my past to see where self-will has led me. I just don’t know what’s best for me and I believe my Higher Power does. G.O.D., which I define as “Good Orderly Direction,” has never let me down, but I have let myself down quite often. Using my self-will in a situation usually has the same result as forcing the wrong piece into a jigsaw puzzle–exhaustion and frustration. Step Three opens the door to the rest of the program. When I ask God for guidance I know that whatever happens is the best possible situation, things are exactly as they are supposed to be, even if they aren’t what I want or expect. God does for me what I cannot do for myself, if I let Him.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 77~

Keep It Simple

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.—AA saying

Before recovery, we never thought we had enough alcohol or other drugs. More would make us feel better, we thought. Sometimes, we are like this in recovery too. We know we need to change, so we want to do it all right now. If we can just change ourselves totally, we’ll feel better, we think.
But we can’t change all at once. If we ask our Higher Power to take charge of our lives, we’ll have the chance to change a little at a time. We’ll learn the right things when we need to know them.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me fix what needs fixing today.

Action for the Day:
I’ll make a list of what is broken. Which things on my list can I fix today?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Relationship troubles may erupt today, especially if you feel as if someone is trying to control your every move. But you’re willing to stand up for your independence and do whatever it takes now to break free of the stifling emotional dynamics. Once you decide to follow your own star, there’s not much anyone can do to keep you down. However, if you find yourself at risk of slipping back into your old pattern, you can put an end to the conflict by simply pulling your energy in. Retreating is not an act of defeat, but a way to remain in charge of your own destiny.

Mind Dump

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings, Personal1 Comment

Today is one of those days I need to simply write what I’m thinking. Yet again, a thought about drinking crossed my mind last night.  I won’t lie to myself or others,  I’m not okay – at all.

Everytime I’m in this place I think of the following passage as if its a clock tower going off to sound a new hour of a day, “Gong….gong…..gong”:

“Willingness, honesty and open mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.” Spiritual Experience Page 568 of the AA Book

First, I must be honest with myself, as well as others.  I have always held firm to this belief. Later, we’re taught to put things down on paper so that we can deal with them instead of finding other outlets to escape. We look at ourselves, what we have going on, prioritize those things, then deal with them one by one.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
1 Timothy 6:10 King James Version (KJV)

Wise words from men long ago . . .

It’s frustrating the hell out of me I’m in a financial mess.I’m not even sure right now if I’ll be able to pay rent from this month by the 15th. The landlord has already accepted this month’s rent late, so asking another “favor” isn’t in the playbook. Meanwhile, all the other bills I have to let go for this month. Right around the next corner is next months rent, if I’m able to stay here.

Now I’m in a comfortable situation at work, I can start working extra hours. At first, I didn’t want to put myself throught it just piling more stress on me. But the way I look at it now, its necessary. Not only because I need to pay my bills but my car just keeps getting worse by the day. There are two bald spots on the front tires, so there isn’t time to waste getting it in and serviced. Other services, alignment, brakes and an oil change are way past due too.  It’s the only transportation I available to me.  No transportation means a worse situation I am in now. As far as other options like carpooling isn’t an option either, nor is moving closer to work.  No one of my co-workers lives anywhere near me and living in Ithaca, NY is like living in NYC. To rent a one bedroom in many place is over $1000 a month. My car is the only thing I have, so it needs to get done sooner or later.

The biggest issue in my life is my friend. Yes, the one who screwed me over to many times to count.  I know – I simply need cut all ties. But I can’t. He’s an addict to a point if he’s on the street for any longer he is going to die.  Why should I care?  Because I do.  It has nothing to do with “feelings” towords him or fixing him because I have my own problems.  Because of his past, everyone has shut him out.  He hasn’t been given a chance. Yes, he’s screwed up. Didn’t we all – some of us over and over. But I truly believe there is a chance for him and I am not giving up hope.

On the other hand, I know what I’ve been through and I will not under any circumstances go through that again.  I haven’t made a decision. When I do it’ll be mine to accept the consequences, if any.  People may hate me, I get it, so be it.

I honestly don’t think I will continue to be a CNA. My application to a college for my bachelor’s was accepted.  I just need to follow up to talk about funding.  Right now, it’s not even the time to start classes. I may never start anything the rate I’m going.  I have other priorities, then I’ll follow the lead down this road.

Lastly, another friend from long ago may be less than a year from getting released from prison.  He’s another one, same situation, I helped and got screwed.  But after all these years we have talked and I’m on the side he wants to put his past behind him. But part of me says, “Hold on, wait until he gets out. You don’t have to make any decisions right now.”

Monday is my day off, so I’m starting a new routine. At least I have a plan to start something new but this time I’m going to make every effort to make it happen. I’m still in the working a total committment stage. It would the self-doubt I can actually do it.  It’s been started over and over again, always fails, so what’s going to be different about this time?  That is the question I’m trying to answer.

DR – March 10, 2018

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
March 10, 2018

Daily Reflection

TODAY, IT’S MY CHOICE

. . . we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action—or inaction—whatever the consequences may be.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

” I had always believed in a Power greater that myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes no where.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 10~

Keep It Simple

Little things affect little minds.—Benjamin Disraeli

Before recovery, we liked things our way. We thought every new thing we tired should go right the first time. Little problems could really upset us. We let little things spoil our day. We let little things affect big things—our entire lives. And our bad moods affected people around us. Funny how we have fewer of those problems now. The program is teaching us to let go. What a relief when we know we don’t have to control every little thing. How nice when things get done without our “expert advice”! We are starting to see what’s really important, and what’s not. One promise of the program is coming true: we know how to handle situations better.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me see what is really important for me today. Help me to stop worrying about what’s not.

Action for the Day:
When I’m upset, I’ll ask myself, Is this problem really so bad? If I can’t change it. I’ll let go.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You wake up on the right side of the bed, but a close friend can turn your day sour by making unrealistic demands on your time. At first, you might not know what to do because all of your contingencies fall short of your needed production today. Stop worrying about anyone else’s judgment. Keep your head down and work at your best pace. You may be happily surprised by all you accomplish when you concentrate on what matters most.