Daily Recovery Readings
July 24, 2024

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Daily Reflection

Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 20

Self-centeredness was my problem. All my life people had been doing things for me and I not only expected it, but I was ungrateful and resentful they didn’t do more. Why should I help others, when they were supposed to help me? If others had troubles, didn’t they deserve them? I was filled with self-pity, anger and resentment. Then I learned that by helping others, with no thought of return, I could overcome this obsession with selfishness, and if I understood humility, I would know peace and serenity. No longer do I need to drink.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job wife or no wife we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 98~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

A.A. is like a dike, holding back the ocean of liquor. If we take one glass of liquor, it is like making a small hole in the dike and once such a hole has been made, the whole ocean of alcohol may rush in upon us. By practicing the A.A. principles we keep the dike strong and in repair. We spot any weakness or crack in that dike and make the necessary repairs before any damage is done. Outside the dike is the whole ocean of alcohol, waiting to engulf us again in despair. Am I keeping the dike strong?

Meditation for the Day

Keep as close as you can to the Higher Power. Try to think, act, and live as though you were always in God’s presence. Keeping close to a Power greater than yourself is the solution to most of the earth’s problems. Try to practice the presence of God in the things you think and do. That is the secret of personal power. It is the thing which influences the lives of others for good. Abide in the Lord and rejoice in His love. Keep close to the Divine Spirit in the universe. Keep God close behind your thoughts.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may keep close to the Mind of God. I pray that I may live with Him in my heart and mind.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Denial

Denial is a powerful tool. Never underestimate its ability to cloud your vision.

Be aware that, for many reasons, we have become experts at using this tool to make reality more tolerable. We have learned well how to stop the pain caused by reality – not by changing our circumstances, but by pretending our circumstances are something other than what they are.

Do not be too hard on yourself. While one part of you was busy creating a fantasy reality, the other part went to work on accepting the truth.

Now, it is time to find courage. Face the truth. Let it sink gently in.

When we can do that, we will be moved forward.

God, give me the courage and strength to see clearly.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Many things are lost for want of asking.

—English proverb

It’s a principle of this program that we grow, in part, by learning to ask for what we need. Perhaps today we are struggling with a problem that could be eased if we talked to another man in the program. We could call him on the phone and just ask him if he has a few minutes to talk. Maybe we’re wondering about a physical pain. Maybe we feel strange about something we said and would like to ask someone’s opinion.

Mistaken notions about masculinity get in the way of recovery when we refuse to ask for help. We think we should know the answers and be self-sufficient. Maybe we feel stupid if we have to ask. Those notions drop by the wayside as we get healthier and learn the rewards of connecting with others to satisfy our mutual needs. No longer does false pride have to keep us isolated and struggling alone.

Today, I will notice what I need and practice asking for help.

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Elder’s Meditation

“Life is like a path…and we all have to walk the path… As we walk… we’ll find experiences like little scraps of paper in front of us along the way. We must pick up those pieces of scrap paper and put them in our pocket… Then, one day, we will have enough scraps of papers to put together and see what they say… Read the information and take it to heart.”

–Uncle Frank Davis (quoting his mother), PAWNEE

The Creator designed us to learn by trial and error. The path of life we walk is very wide. Everything on the path is sacred – what we do right is sacred – but our mistakes are also sacred. This is the Creator’s way of teaching spiritual people. To criticize ourselves when we make mistakes is not part of the spiritual path. To criticize mistakes is not the Indian way. To learn from our mistakes is the Indian way. The definition of a spiritual person is someone who makes 30-50 mistakes each day and talks to the Creator after each one to see what to do next time. This is the way of the Warrior.

Today let me see my mistakes as a positive process. Let me learn the aha’s of life… Awaken my awareness so I can see the great learning that You, my Creator, have designed for my life.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

What makes you feel secure might require an upgrade. You may have been hanging onto something out of sentimentality or staying somewhere because of a sense of comfort it brings, but look around! If you’re outgrowing this comfort zone, you’ll notice the places where it’s starting to lose its luster. You could find your soul longing to step outside of the box that you’ve drawn around yourself — making plans to travel could be your best way out. Don’t confuse familiarity with positivity.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 23, 2024

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Daily Reflection

I ASK GOD TO DECIDE

“I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76

Having admitted my powerlessness and made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him, I don’t decide which defects get removed, or the order in which defects get removed, or the time frame in which they get removed. I ask God to decide which defects stand in the way of my usefulness to Him and to others, and then I humbly ask Him to remove them.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“An illness of this sort and we have come to believe it an illness, involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 18~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

We should remember that all A.A.’s have “clay feet.” We should not set any member upon a pedestal and mark her or him out as a perfect A.A. It’s not fair to the person to be singled out in this fashion and if the person is wise she or he will not wish it. If the person we single out as an ideal A.A. has a fall, we are in danger of falling, too. Without exception, we are all only one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long we have been in A.A. Nobody is entirely safe. A.A. itself should be our ideal, not any particular member of it. Am I putting my trust in A.A. principles and not in any one member of the group?

Meditation for the Day

The inward peace that comes from trust in God truly passes all understanding. That peace no one can take from you. No person has the power to disturb that inner peace. But you must be careful not to let in the world’s worries and distractions. You must try not to give entrance to fears and despondency. You must refuse to open the door to distractions that disturb your inward peace. Make it a point to allow nothing today to disturb your inner peace, your heart-calm.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not allow those about me to spoil my peace of mind. I pray that I may keep a deep inner calm throughout the day.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Making It Happen

Stop trying so hard to make it happen.

Stop doing so much, if doing so much is wearing you out or not achieving the desired results. Stop thinking so much and so hard about it. Stop worrying so about it. Stop trying to force, to manipulate, to coerce, or to make it happen.

Making things happen is controlling. We can take positive action to help things happen. We can do our part. But many of us do much more than our part. We overstep the boundaries from caring and doing our part into controlling, caretaking, and coercing.

Controlling is self-defeating. It doesn’t work. By overextending ourselves to make something happen, we may actually be stopping it from happening.

Do your part in relaxed, peaceful harmony. Then let it go. Just let it go. Force yourself to let it go, if necessary. “Act as if.” Put as much energy into letting go as you have into trying to control. You’ll get much better results.

It may not happen. It may not happen the way we wanted it to and hoped it would. But our controlling wouldn’t have made it happen either.

Learn to let things happen because that’s what they’ll do anyway. And while we’re waiting to see what happens, we’ll be happier and so will those around us.

Today, I will stop forcing things to happen. Instead, I will allow things to happen naturally. If I catch myself trying to force events or control people, I will stop and figure out a way to detach.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

He that to what he sees, adds observation, and to what he reads, reflection, is in the right road to knowledge.

—Caleb Colton

We are not just feathers blown on the winds of a powerless life. We bring ourselves to our experiences. The dynamics of learning include, first, what happens – what we see or read or hear – and, second, what we make of it. So in our observations and reflections we consider what an event means to us.

As men in a spiritual program, we need some time to think and reflect. That is, we need time away from the phone, away from interruptions and work, where we can let ourselves learn and grow from our experiences. Some men get that by leaving the radio off while driving alone, others get it on the bus, others light a candle in a quiet room at home and meditate. In this way we are conscious and aware of what is happening in our lives and we bring our wisdom to it. Through time, we deepen and grow stronger as we grow older rather than only accumulating more experiences.

Today, I will reflect on the meaning of my experiences and bring my wisdom to them.

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Elder’s Meditation

“…the greatest strength is in gentleness.”

–Leon Shenandoah, ONONDAGA

Our Elders have taught us many lessons about becoming a Warrior and how to think and act like one. We have been told about the power of gentleness. We have been told about the power of the stillness. Physical power is about effort. Mental power is the opposite. It’s about being effortless or less any effort. Gentleness is one of the greatest attributes of the Warrior and one of the greatest mental powers. It takes a lot of love to be gentle. Gentleness is not an ego word. Gentleness is the weapon of the Great Spirit.

My Creator, today I will be gentle with myself and with others. I will listen to the whisper of my heart and learn the power of being gentle.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your sense of security may be tested without warning. You might find that you don’t have as much money in the bank as you thought you did, or someone that you believed you could rely on could have turned out to be flakier than you expected. It’s not easy to be let down, especially when you feel blindsided, but it’s important to remember who you are and the struggles that you’ve survived up to this point. You’re tougher than you think.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 22, 2024

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Daily Reflection

“THE GOOD AND THE BAD”

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 76

The joy of life is in the giving. Being freed of my shortcomings, that I may more freely be of service, allows humility to grow in me. My shortcomings can be humbly placed in God’s loving care and be removed. The essence of Step Seven is humility, and what better way to seek humility than by giving all of myself – good and bad – to God, so that He may remove the bad and return to me the good.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“Now and then the family will be plagued by spectres from the past, for the drinking career of almost every alcoholic has been marked by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful or tragic. The first impulse will be to bury these skeletons in a dark closet and padlock the door. The family may be possessed by the idea that future happiness can be based only upon forgetfulness of the past. We think that such a view is self-centered and in direct conflict with the new way of living.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 123~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

One of finest things about A.A. is the diversity of its membership. We come from all walks and stations of life. All types and classes of people are represented in an A.A. group. Being different from each other in certain ways, we can each make a different contribution to the whole. Some of us are weak in one respect, but strong in another. A.A. can use the strong points of all its members and can disregard their weaknesses. A.A. is strong, not only because we all have the same problem, but also because of the diversified talents of its members. Each person can contribute part. Do I recognize the good points of all my group’s members?

Meditation for the Day

“And greater works than these shall ye do.” Each individual has the ability to do good works through the power of God’s spirit. This is the wonder of the world, the miracle of the earth that God’s power goes out to bless the human race through the agency of so many people who are actuated by His grace. We need not be held back by doubt, despondency, and fear. A wonderful future can lie before any person who depends on God’s power, a future of unlimited power to do good works.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not limit myself by doubting. I pray that I may have confidence that I can be effective for good.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Learning to Trust Again

Many of us have trust issues.

Some of us tried long and hard to trust untrustworthy people. Over and again, we believed lies and promises never to be kept. Some of us tried to trust people for the impossible; for instance, trusting a practicing alcoholic not to drink again.

Some of us trusted our Higher Power inappropriately. We trusted God to make other people do what we wanted, then felt betrayed when that didn’t work out.

Some of us were taught that life couldn’t be trusted, that we had to control and manipulate our way through.

Most of us were taught, inappropriately, that we couldn’t trust ourselves.

In recovery, we’re healing from our trust issues. We’re learning to trust again. The first lesson in trust is this: We can learn to trust ourselves. We can be trusted. If others have taught us we cannot trust ourselves, they were lying. Addictions and dysfunctional systems make people lie.

We can learn to appropriately trust our Higher Power – not to make people do what we wanted them to, but to help us take care of ourselves, and to bring about the best possible circumstances, at the best possible times, in our life.

We can trust the process – of life and recovery. We do not have to control, obsess, or become hyper vigilant. We may not always understand where we are going, or what’s being worked out in us, but we can trust that something good is happening.

When we learn to do this, we are ready to learn to trust other people. When we trust our Higher Power and when we trust ourselves, we will know who to trust and what to trust that person for.

Perhaps we always did. We just didn’t listen closely enough to ourselves or trust what we heard.

Today, I will affirm that I can learn to trust appropriately. I can trust my Higher Power, my recovery, and myself. I can learn to appropriately trust others too.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Suffering is a journey, which has an end.

—Matthew Fox

Pain is part of life. To live a masculine spiritual life, we need a way to understand the suffering we sometimes endure. Looking back at other difficult times can give us a better perspective of the pain we feel today. All of us can recall a loss or a sudden difficult change that we never would have chosen for ourselves. Perhaps it brought us face to face with insecurities or doubts about our survival. Now, after the suffering has ended, we see how much we grew. We changed; we were strengthened and, perhaps, were liberated by what happened to us.

Thoughts about today’s suffering may not be clear as to what good it holds for us. But we are on a journey, and it can only happen one step at a time. We know that journeys teach us great lessons and they do have endings. Our pain today affirms that we are vital and alive people. We know others suffer as we do, and we can turn to each other to give and receive comfort while we are on the journey.

My pain will teach me something I need to know, and it will have an end. I will pay attention to its lessons.

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Elder’s Meditation

In this universe, all activities, events, and entities are related. Indians believe that everything in the universe has value and instructs us in some aspect of life. Everything is alive and is making choices that determine the future, so the world is constantly creating itself� With the wisdom and time for reflection that old age provides, we may discover unsuspected relationships.

—Vine Deloria, Jr, STANDING ROCK SIOUX

We are all connected. This is what the Elders have told us for a long time. If we are connected to all things, then whenever we harm anything, it causes harm to ourselves. If we destroy the air, then we will be affected by what we breathe in. If we poison the Earth, we poison ourselves. We must respect our Mother Earth and She will respect us in return. We must open our eyes and obey the spiritual laws that govern the Earth and ourselves.

Grandfather, today allow me to honor and respect the things You have made. Let me see the beauty of all things.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Others may see you as a loyal, dependable person, and that can come in handy at this specific time. You might find that someone who’s been paying attention to how you’ve conducted yourself lately is providing you with a way to show that you are the trustworthy person you’ve shown yourself to be in the past. This is not a good time to let your guard slip or to start gossiping! Make a point of acting as a fortress for any secrets you hear.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 21, 2024

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Daily Reflection

A PRICELESS GIFT

By this time in all probability we have gained some measure of release from our more devastating handicaps. We enjoy moments in which there is something like real peace of mind. To those of us who have hitherto known only excitement, depression, or anxiety – in other words, to all of us – this newfound peace is a priceless gift.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 74

I am learning to let go and let God, to have a mind that is open and a heart that is willing to receive God’s grace in all my affairs; in this way I can experience the peace and freedom that come as a result of surrender. It has been proven that an act of surrender, originating in desperation and defeat, can grow into an ongoing act of faith, and that faith means freedom and victory.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn’t do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 133~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

If we feel the need of saying something to put another member on the right track, we should try to say it with understanding and sympathy, not with a critical attitude. We should keep everything out in the open and aboveboard. The A.A. program is wonderful, but we must really follow it. We must all pull together or we’ll all be sunk. We enjoy the privilege of being associated with A.A. and we are entitled to all its benefits. But gossip and criticism are not tolerance, and tolerance is an A.A. principle that is absolutely necessary to group unity. Am I truly tolerant of all my group’s members?

Meditation for the Day

“Faith can move mountains.” That expression means that faith can change any situation in the field of personal relationships. If you trust Him, God shows you the way to “move mountains.” If you are humble enough to know that you can do little by yourself to change a situation, if you have enough faith to ask God to give you the power you need, and if you are grateful enough for the grace He gives you, you can “move mountains.” Situations will be changed for the better by your presence.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have enough faith to make me really effective. I pray that I may learn to depend less on myself and more on God.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Being Is Enough

We are not always clear about what we are experiencing, or why.

In the midst of grief, transition, transformation, learning, healing, or discipline – it’s difficult to have perspective.

That’s because we have not learned the lesson yet. We are in the midst of it. The gift of clarity has not yet arrived.

Our need to control can manifest itself as a need to know exactly what’s going on. We cannot always know. Sometimes, we need to let ourselves be and trust that clarity will come later, in retrospect.

If we are confused, that is what we are supposed to be. The confusion is temporary. We shall see. The lesson, the purpose, shall reveal itself – in time, in its own time.

It will all make perfect sense – later.

Today, I will stop straining to know what I don’t know, to see what I can’t see, to understand what I don’t yet understand. I will trust that being is sufficient, and let go of my need to figure things out.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Some people regard themselves as perfect, but only because they demand little of themselves.

—Hermann Hesse

Many of us men in this program have a struggle with perfectionism. This is a central spiritual issue. Sometimes we feel ashamed or frightened by our imperfections, or we strive so hard to overcome them that we successfully close our lives down to a very narrow, controllable scale. Spiritual awakening means we have zest for life and accept our imperfections.

We know today will be shaky and insecure in some ways. We probably will make some mistakes or offenses. Our solution is not our old behavior of attempting to control whatever happens; it is to join life with a spiritual feeling. We let go of ourselves and what happens? We are part of a larger whole. We are not in control of the process of life, and whatever we do is part of an ongoing dialogue, so we will have another chance to respond, even to our own mistakes.

Today, I pray for liberation from my perfectionism so I can more fully engage in life’s adventure.

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Elder’s Meditation

“You must speak straight so that your words may go as sunlight into our hearts.”

–Cochise “Like Ironweed” CHIRICAHUA APACHE

Come into my heart this morning. Allow me this day to live in the now. Help me to see all the beauty You have created in all things. Let me know myself. Today, as I make mistakes, let me see them as lessons. Guide me. When I see others make mistakes, let me honor them for where they are. Let me realize that they are Your children and only You, my Grandfather, knows what is really going on. When my lips move, let the words be Your words.

Allow me to have the courage to speak Your truth.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You might be seeing the rewards of setting boundaries. Building healthy mental fences isn’t always easy, especially when you don’t want to disappoint someone. Still, it’s important that you tell others where your line is drawn. This nourishes the connection on both ends, allowing everyone involved to interact with one another without losing their sense of self. While standing your ground may be uncomfortable or awkward if you’re not used to setting boundaries, the peace and respect you’ll feel will be worth it.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 20, 2024

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Daily Reflection

SHORTCOMINGS REMOVED

But now the words “Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works” began to carry bright promise and meaning.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

When I put the Seventh Step into action I must remember that there are no blanks to fill in. It doesn’t say, “Humbly asked Him to (fill in the blank) remove our shortcomings.” For years, I filled in the imaginary blank with “Help me!” “Give me the courage to,” and “Give me the strength,” etc. The Step says simply that God will remove my shortcomings. The only footwork I must do is “humbly ask,” which for me means asking with the knowledge that of myself I am nothing, the Father within “doeth the works.”

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then. It was a crushing blow.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 42~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

We must be loyal to the group and to each member of it. We must never accuse members behind their backs or even to their faces. It’s up to them to tell us themselves if anything is wrong. More than that, we must try not to think bad things about any members, because if we do, we’re consciously or unconsciously hurting that person. We must be loyal to each other if A.A. is going to be successful. While we’re in this lifeboat, trying to save each other and ourselves from alcoholism, we must be truly and sincerely helpful to each other. Am I a loyal member of my group?

Meditation for the Day

Carry out God’s guidance as best you can. Leave the results to Him. Do this obediently and faithfully with no question that if the working out of the guidance is left in God’s hands, the results will be all right. Believe that the guidance God gives you has already been worked out by God to produce the required results according to your case and in your circumstances. So follow God’s guidance according to your conscience. God has knowledge of your individual life and character, your capabilities and your weaknesses.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may live according to the dictates of my conscience. I pray that I may leave the results to God.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting Go of Resistance

Do not be in such a hurry to move on.

Relax. Breathe deeply. Be. Be in harmony today.

Be open. There is beauty around and in us today. There is purpose and meaning in today.

There is importance in today – not so much in what happens to us, but in how we respond.

Let today happen. We learn our lessons, we work things out, we change in a simple fashion: by living our life fully today.

Do not worry about tomorrow’s feelings, problems, or gifts. Do not worry about whether we can trust life, our Higher Power, or ourselves tomorrow.

Everything we need today shall be given to us. That is a promise – from God, from the Universe.

Feel today’s feelings. Solve today’s problems. Enjoy today’s gifts. Trust yourself, life, and your Higher Power today.

Acquire the art of living fully today. Absorb the lessons, the healing, the beauty, the love available to us today.

Do not be in such a rush to move on. There is no hurry. We cannot escape, we only postpone. Let the feelings go, breathe in peace and healing.

Do not be in such a hurry to move on.

Today, I will not run from my circumstances, my feelings, or myself. I will be open to others, Higher Power, my life, and myself. I will trust that by facing today to the best of my ability, I will acquire the skills I need to face tomorrow.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Without solitude there can be no real people…. The measure of your solitude is the measure of your capacity/or communion.

—John Eudes

If we listen in those moments when we hear a message from ourselves, we become true men – real human beings. The message comes in our solitude, when our defenses against truth are set aside. It comes popping out without our planning it. Our solitude is a relationship with ourselves, and it might occur in silent meditation, or driving down the street, or during a dinner conversation. The message might be a painful truth like, “You just acted like a small child,” or a frightening fact like, “You are deeply loved by another person.”

Letting another person know what messages we are getting in solitude helps us deal with the messages. As we accept our imperfections and make peace with ourselves, we increase our sense of solitude. We become real men, full partners in relationships and in our communities.

Today, I will welcome solitude. When the messages from myself are painful or frightening, I will be gentle with myself.

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Elder’s Meditation

“When you begin a great work you can’t expect to finish it all at once; therefore, you and your brothers press on and let nothing discourage you until you have entirely finished what you have begun.”

–Teedyuschung, DELAWARE

All things have their seasons. All thoughts are real. We must think to cause action and each action creates results. Big visions require many thoughts. It takes a series of thoughts to create a series of actions. A series of actions creates a series of results. These results are what makes vision become real. If we are here to serve the Creator then we can expect to be accomplishing big visions. How do we do this? One step at a time.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

he words of others could throw you off balance. Someone may not be telling you the whole truth — or they might not even be telling themselves the truth, choosing to live in a fantasy world while you’re trying to live in reality. It’s potentially impossible for you to go with what they’re saying. While they could be unhappy if you choose to ignore them, you can’t live in their fantasy world with them. Let them follow their path as you follow yours.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 19, 2024

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Daily Reflection

FALSE PRIDE

Many of us who had thought ourselves religious awoke to the limitations of this attitude. Refusing to place God first, we had deprived ourselves of His help.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

Many false notions operate in false pride. The need for direction to live a decent life is satisfied by the hope experienced in the A.A. Fellowship. Those who have walked the way for years – a day at a time – say that a God-centered life has limitless possibilities for personal growth. This being so, much hope is transmitted by the elder A.A.s.

I thank my Higher Power for letting me know that He works through other people, and I thank Him for our trusted servants in the Fellowship who aid new members to reject their false ideals and to adopt those which lead to a life of compassion and trust. The elders in A.A. challenge the newcomers to “Come To” – so that they can “Come to Believe.” I ask my Higher Power to help my unbelief.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“Perhaps there is a better way–we think so. For we are now on a different basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 68~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Gossip about or criticism of personalities has no place in an A.A. clubroom. Every man in A.A. is a brother and every woman is a sister, as long as he or she is a member of A.A. We ought not to gossip about the relationships of any man or woman in the group. And if we say about another member, “I think she or he is taking a few drinks on the side,” it’s the worst thing we could do to that person. If a woman or a man is not living up to A.A. principles or has a slip, it’s up to her or him to stand up in a meeting and say so. If they don’t do that, they are only hurting themselves. Do I talk about other members behind their backs?

Meditation for the Day

To God, a miracle of change in a person’s life is only a natural happening. But it is a natural happening operated by spiritual forces. There is no miracle in personalities too marvelous to be an everyday happening. But miracles happen only to those who are fully guided and strengthened by God. Marvelous changes in people’s natures happen so simply, and yet they are free from all other agencies than the grace of God. But these miracles have been prepared for by days and months of longing for something better. They are always accompanied by a real desire to conquer self and to surrender one’s life to God.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may expect miracles in the lives of people. I pray that I may be used to help people change.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Proving It to Ourselves

I spent a year trying to prove to my husband how much his drinking was hurting me. When I began to recover, I realized I was the one who needed to realize how much his drinking was hurting me.

—Anonymous

Trying to prove how good we are, trying to prove we’re good enough, trying to show someone how much he or she has hurt us, trying to show someone we’re understanding, are warning signs that we may be into our self defeating behaviors.

They can be an indication that we are trying to control someone. They can be an indication that we do not believe how good we are, that we’re good enough, that someone is hurting us.

They can be a warning that we’ve allowed ourselves to get hooked into a dysfunctional system. They may indicate that we’re stuck in the cloudy fog of denial or doing something that is not good for us.

Trying excessively to make a point with another may mean that we have not yet made that point with ourselves. Once we make that point with ourselves, once we understand, we will know what to do.

The issue is not about others understanding and taking us seriously. The issue is not about others believing we’re good and good enough. The issue is not about others seeing and believing how responsible or loving or competent we are. The issue is not about whether others realize how deeply we are feeling a particular feeling. We are the ones that need to see the light.

Today, God, help me let go of my need to control outcomes by influencing the beliefs of others. I will concentrate on accepting myself, rather than trying to prove something about myself. If I catch myself in the codependent trap of trying to emphasize something about myself to another, I will ask myself if I need to convince myself at that point.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

They have rights who dare defend them.

—Roger Baldwin

There is a hard side to emotional health and manhood. As we grow, we gain many more sides, more ways of responding to the situations we meet. We learn that yielding to God sometimes means letting our full strength flow to defend our rights and ward off intrusion or disrespect. As we have become more loving and tolerant, we have become more assertive for our rights and those of others.

We must speak up for ourselves and for our points of view. We must not let others demean us or put us down, nor can we take on blame for others’ life problems. When we ought to stand up for ourselves and don’t, we may be invaded by a false feeling that we are crazy or bad. As recovering men, we sometimes must call on our hard side and say, “No! I will not be a doormat for the harmful actions of others. I will defend my rights.”

I will cultivate my relationship with my Higher Power and let that lead me to stand up for myself.

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Elder’s Meditation

“We were taught to believe that the Great Spirit sees and hears everything, and that He never forgets, that hereafter He will give every man a spirit-home according to his deserts: If he has been a good man, he will have a good home; if he has been a bad man, he will have a bad home.”

–Chief Joseph, NEZ PERCE

I cannot hide my true spirit and intent from the Creator. He created a system of justice. This system of justice says we will get back whatever we plant. If we plant good then good returns – if we plant bad, then we will suffer the consequences. Whatever we think about another person, the same things are thought about us. Whatever we send out is sent back. Man cannot alter this system of justice. It doesn’t matter what we say or do. What really matters is what we really, really did.

Oh Great Spirit, guide me today to do good, to have good thoughts. Let me remember the things I do are to honor Your way of life.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

he words of others could throw you off balance. Someone may not be telling you the whole truth — or they might not even be telling themselves the truth, choosing to live in a fantasy world while you’re trying to live in reality. It’s potentially impossible for you to go with what they’re saying. While they could be unhappy if you choose to ignore them, you can’t live in their fantasy world with them. Let them follow their path as you follow yours.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 18, 2024

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Daily Reflection

GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE

During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

Today my prayers consist mostly of saying thank you to my Higher Power for my sobriety and for the wonder of God’s abundance, but I need to ask also for help and the power to carry out His will for me. I no longer need God each minute to rescue me from the situations I get myself into by not doing His will. Now my gratitude seems to be directly linked to humility. As long as I have the humility to be grateful for what I have, God continues to provide for me.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 125

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Two things can spoil group unity-gossip and criticism. To avoid these divisive things, we must realize that we’re all in the same boat. We’re like a group of people in a lifeboat after the steamer has sunk. If we’re going to be saved, we’ve got to pull together. It’s a matter of life or death for us. Gossip and criticism are sure ways of disrupting any A.A. group. We’re all in A.A. to keep sober ourselves and to help each other to keep sober. And neither gossip nor criticism helps anyone to stay sober. Am I often guilty of gossip or criticism?

Meditation for the Day

We should try to be grateful for all the blessings we have received and which we do not deserve. Gratitude to God for all His blessings will make us humble. Remember that we could do little by ourselves, and now we must rely largely on God’s grace in helping ourselves and others. People do not care much for those who are smug and self-satisfied or those who gossip and criticize. But people are impressed by true humility. So we should try to walk humbly at all times. Gratitude to God and true humility are what make us effective.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may walk humbly with God. I pray that I may rely on His grace to carry me through.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Time to Get Angry

It’s about time you got angry – yes, that angry.

Anger can be such a potent, frightening emotion. It can also be a feeling that guides us to important decisions, sometimes decisions difficult to make. It can signal other people’s problems, our problems, or simply problems we need to address.

We deny our anger for a variety of reasons. We don’t give ourselves permission to allow it to come into our awareness – at first. Understand that it does not go away; it sits in layers under the surface, waiting for us to become ready, safe, and strong enough to deal with it.

What we may do instead of facing our anger and what it is telling us about self-care, is feel hurt, victimized, trapped, guilty, and uncertain about how to take care of ourselves. We may withdraw, deny, make excuses, and hide our heads in the sand – for a while.

We may punish, get even, whine, and wonder.

We may repeatedly forgive the other person for behaviors that hurt us. We may be afraid that someone will go away if we deal with our anger toward him or her. We may be afraid we will need to go away, if we deal with our anger.

We may simply be afraid of our anger and the potency of it. We may not know we have a right, even a responsibility – to ourselves – to allow ourselves to feel and learn from our anger.

God, help my hidden or repressed angry feelings to surface. Help me have the courage to face them. Help me understand how I need to take care of myself with the people I feel anger toward. Help me stop telling myself something is wrong with me when people victimize me and I feel angry about the victimization. I can trust my feelings to signal problems that need my attention.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

How should one live? Live welcoming to all.

—Mechtild of Magdeburg

Welcoming is a spiritual practice we met when we came to this program. We may recall our first meetings and how welcome we felt in this group of fellow sufferers. It gave us hope when we felt desperate and continues to provide us with a nourishing place to grow.

To be welcoming means to accept others as they are, without passing judgment on their worth. It means to encourage them when they are despairing and to accept that they have a rightful place in our world. Welcoming is being generous with our resources. We do not have to feel close to someone to be welcoming. We can welcome a stranger. As we practice this attitude toward others, regardless of their status in life, regardless of their good or bad actions, we are changed inside. We learn from the people we welcome, and we are reminded that in the sight of God we are all loved as equals.

Today, 1 will practice a welcoming attitude toward everyone I meet.

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Elder’s Meditation

“Our fathers gave us many laws which they had learned from their fathers. These laws were good.”

–Chief Joseph, NEZ PERCE

The Creator gives us many laws to live by. These are different than the laws of man. The laws of the Creator are designed for us to live in harmony and balance with ourselves and each other. These laws are about having freedom and happiness. Our Elders teach us these laws. Laws about how to treat each other, laws about how to treat and respect our Mother Earth, laws about the environment.

Oh Great Spirit, teach me the laws of the unseen world. Today I pray You open my eyes so I can better see the Red Road.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Positive news could arrive at your doorstep at any moment. Alright, it may not literally come to your home, but someone will probably connect with you regarding some happy information, possibly regarding a career or your sense of stability. Newfound security is ready to lay a foundation in your mind, bringing with it relief, so that you won’t have to be on edge when it comes to your lifestyle. Let yourself breathe, and don’t be overly afraid of what the future holds.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 17, 2024

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Daily Reflection

SURRENDER AND SELF-EXAMINATION

My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive.

Thus I think it can work out with emotional sobriety. If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these hobbling demands. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety.

— THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 238

Years of dependency on alcohol as a chemical mood-changer deprived me of the capability to interact emotionally with my fellows. I thought I had to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and self-motivated in a world of unreliable people. Finally I lost my self-respect and was left with dependency, lacking any ability to trust myself or to believe in anything. Surrender and self-examination while sharing with newcomers helped me to ask humbly for help.

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Big Book Quote

“My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 43~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The new life of sobriety we are learning to live in A.A. is slowly growing on us and we are beginning to get some of that deep peace of mind and serenity that we never thought were possible. At first we may have doubted that this could happen to us, but after any considerable length of time in A.A., looking at the happy faces around us, we know that somehow it is happening to us. In fact, it cannot help happening to anyone who takes the A.A. program seriously day by day. Can I see my own happiness reflected in the faces of others?

Meditation for the Day

God does not withhold His presence from you. He does not refuse to reveal more of His truth to you. He does not hold back His spirit from you. He does not withhold the strength that you need. His presence, His truth, His spirit, His strength are always immediately available to you, whenever you are fully willing to receive them. But they may be blocked off by selfishness, intellectual pride, fear, greed, and materialism. We must try to get rid of these blocks and let God’s spirit come in.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may remove all blocks that are keeping me from God. I pray that I may let God come into my life with power.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Love, in Words and Actions

Many of us have confused notions about what it means to be loved and cared about.

Many of us were loved and cared for by people who had discrepancies between what they said and did.

We may have had a mother or father who said, “I love you” to us, and then abandoned or neglected us, giving us confused ideas about love. Thus that pattern feels like love – the only love we knew.

Some of us may have been cared for by people who provided for our needs and said they loved us, but simultaneously abused or mistreated us. That, then, becomes our idea of love.

Some of us may have lived in emotionally sterile environments, where people said they loved us, but no feelings or nurturing were available. That may have become our idea of love.

We may learn to love others or ourselves the way we have been loved, or we may let others love us the way we have been loved, whether or not that feels good. It’s time to let our needs be met in ways that actually work. Unhealthy love may meet some surface needs, but not our need to be loved.

We can come to expect congruency in behavior from others. We can diminish the impact of words alone and insist that behavior and words match.

We can find the courage, when appropriate, to confront discrepancies in words and actions – not to shame, blame, or find fault, but to help us stay in touch with reality and with our needs.

We can give and receive love where behavior matches one’s words. We deserve to receive and give the best that love has to offer.

Today, I will be open to giving and receiving the healthiest love possible. I will watch for discrepancies between words and behaviors that confuse me and make me feel crazy. When that happens, I will understand that I am not crazy; I am in the midst of a discrepancy.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

I loafe and invite my soul, I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.

—Walt Whitman

How foreign the thought is to many men that we might make progress by loafing. Yet we probably have experienced it. We have felt more in tune with ourselves after taking a break. After an especially relaxing weekend we feel more alive or clearer about ourselves. At those times we have invited our soul and have been rejuvenated.

Centuries of spiritual practice from different ideologies have taught the need for quiet relaxation in some form to invite the soul. Some have practiced a Sabbath day each week, others a time of prayer every day – even several times a day – others have practiced a daily period of deep meditation. Simply a period of loafing, with no particular goal in mind, may invite conscious contact with our Higher Power.

I pray for the ability to set aside my busy pace of life, my worrying and fretting, my “take charge” attitude for a period of time today.

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Elder’s Meditation

“My friends, how desperately do we need to be loved and to love.”

–Chief Dan George, SKOKOMISH

Oh my great Creator: Help me this day to love myself. I can’t give away anything that I don’t have myself. If I am to love others, then I must love myself. If I am to forgive others, then I am to forgive myself. If I am to accept others as they are, then I need to accept myself as I am. If I am to not judge others, then I need to lighten up on myself. Let me experience this power of love…

My Creator, today I will love myself so I can love my neighbor. I will look at each person today and see Your light within them. If I do this, I will hold my brothers and sisters without guilt.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

The encouragement that others are giving you may be going to your head. There could be people who are supporting you as you make your way toward your dreams, but their support could tempt you to feel as though you don’t have to do the grunt work or put in your own effort, allowing them to do the hard part. Showing up and taking responsibility in the work that you do will honor the people who have made sacrifices for you to succeed.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 16, 2024

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Daily Reflection

“A MEASURE OF HUMILITY”

In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

It was painful to give up trying to control my life, even though success eluded me, and when life got too rough, I drank to escape. Accepting life on life’s terms will be mastered through the humility I experience when I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him. With my life in God’s care, fear, uncertainty, and anger are no longer my response to those portions of life that I would rather not have happen to me. The pain of living through these times will be healed by the knowledge that I have received the spiritual strength to survive.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it, this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 34~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

We can believe that God is in His heaven and that He has a purpose for our lives, which will eventually work out as long as we try to live the way we believe He wants us to live. It has been said that we should “wear the world like a loose garment.” That means that nothing should seriously upset us because we have a deep, abiding faith that God will always take care of us. To us that means not to be too upset by the surface wrongness of things, but to feel deeply secure in the fundamental goodness and purpose in the universe. Do I feel deeply secure?

Meditation for the Day

Like the shadow of a great rock in a desert land, God is your refuge from the ills of life. The old hymn says, “Rock of ages cleft for me, let me hide myself in Thee.” God can be your shelter from the storm. God’s power can protect you from every temptation and defeat. Try to feel His divine power – call on it – accept it – and use it. Armed with that power, you can face anything. Each day, seek safety in God’s secret place, in communion with Him. You cannot be wholly touched or seriously harmed there. God can be your refuge.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may find a haven in the thought of God. I pray that I may abide in that Strong Tower, strongly guarded.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Insisting on the Best

We deserve the best life and love has to offer, but we are each faced with the challenge of learning to identify what that means in our life. We must each come to grips with our own understanding of what we believe we deserve, what we want, and whether we are receiving it.

There is only one place to start, and that is right where we are, in our current circumstances. The place we begin is with us.

What hurts? What makes us angry? What are we whining and complaining about? Are we discounting how much a particular behavior is hurting us? Are we making excuses for the other person, telling ourselves we’re “too demanding”?

Are we reluctant, for a variety of reasons, especially fear, to tackle the issues in our relationships that may be hurting us? Do we know what’s hurting us and do we know that we have a right to stop our pain, if we want to do that?

We can begin the journey from deprived to deserving. We can start it today. We can also be patient and gentle with ourselves as we travel in important increments from believing we deserve second best, to knowing in our hearts that we deserve the best, and taking responsibility for that.

Today, I will pay attention to how I allow people to treat me, and how I feel about that. I will also watch how I treat others. I will not overreact by taking their issues too personally and too seriously; I will not under react by denying that certain behaviors are inappropriate and not acceptable to me.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Do not seek death. Death will find you.

—Dag Hammarskjold

When we accept deep within ourselves the fact that we will die, that our days are numbered as certainly as those of each thriving, bustling generation before us, then we become more fully alive and vital men. Facing this raises grief over our loss, and we wish to avoid it. Yet, death keeps us honest. It highlights the folly of our questions about whether we should live or die and confronts us with the self-destructive behaviors we have used. Some of us have nearly killed ourselves by our extreme behaviors.

Since death is certain, the real question is. How shall we live? By pursuing recovery and spiritual growth we have chosen to live more fully and to use our energies well. We live with commitment to our highest values. We stay in tune with our inner voice to help us make choices. We play, we love, and we celebrate the miracle of life every day, not because there is no grief, but because life is precious and time is limited.

Today, I will accept my grief over the limits of life. I will celebrate its wonder.

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Elder’s Meditation

“Grandfather says…you must not hurt anybody or do harm to anyone. You must not fight. Do right always. It will give you satisfaction in life.”

–Wovoka, PAIUTE

The question one should ask themselves is: Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? If you want to be right, this is a request from your ego. If you want to be happy then this is of the Great Spirit. The only meaning anything has is the meaning we give it. Maybe we should develop a philosophy of: Today is the last day of the rest of my life. If this were true, how easy it would be to let things go – how easy it would be to forgive.

Oh Great Spirit, let me live today as if it was my last. Let me express Your joy and be happy today. Let me see the joy and honor of living on the Red Road.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re getting a chance to be a visionary. You can create a vision board that materializes the places that you want to go in life, or you could be explaining your ideas to someone who is able to help you make them real. This vision potentially centers around you and your life without including others, so it’s likely to be a home or room where you spend a lot of time or a career where you’ll thrive, or even internal improvements. The sky’s the limit.

Daily Recovery Readings
July 15, 2024

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Daily Reflection

PRIDE

For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion. Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted.

In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living.’

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 71

Time and again I approached the Seventh Step, only to fall back and regroup. Something was missing and the impact of the Step escaped me. What had I overlooked? A single word: read but ignored, the foundation of all the Steps, indeed the entire Alcoholics Anonymous program – that word is “humbly.”

I understood my shortcomings: I constantly put tasks off; I angered easily; I felt too much self-pity; and I thought, why me? Then I remembered, “Pride goeth before the fall,” and I eliminated pride from my life.

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Big Book Quote

“Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 14~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

After we had sobered up through the A.A. program, we gradually began to get a peace of mind and serenity, which we never thought were possible. This peace of mind is based on a feeling that fundamentally all is well. That does not mean that all is well on the surface of things. Little things can keep going wrong and big things can keep on upsetting us. But deep down in our hearts we know that everything is eventually going to be all right, now that we are living sober lives. Have I achieved a deep down, inner calm?

Meditation for the Day

You are climbing up the ladder of life, which reaches into eternity. Would God plant your feet upon an insecure ladder? Its supports may be out of sight, hidden in secret places, but if God has asked you to step on and up firmly, then surely He has secured your ladder. Faith gives you the strength to climb steadily this ladder of life. You should leave your security to God and trust Him not to let you fall. He is there to give you all the power you need to keep on climbing.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may climb the ladder of life without fear. I pray that I may progress steadily through the rest of my life with faith and confidence.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

I was thirty five years old the first time I spoke up to my mother and refused to buy into her games and manipulation.

I was terribly frightened and almost couldn’t believe I was doing this. I found I didn’t have to be mean. I didn’t have to start an argument. But I could say what I wanted and needed to say to take care of myself. I learned I could love and honor myself, and still care about my mother – the way I wanted to – not the way she wanted me to.

—Anonymous

Who knows better how to push our buttons than family members? Who, besides family members, do we give such power?

No matter how long we or our family members have been recovering, relationships with family members can be provocative.

One telephone conversation can put us in an emotional and psychological tailspin that lasts for hours or days.

Sometimes, it gets worse when we begin recovery because we become even more aware of our reactions and our discomfort. That’s uncomfortable, but good. It is by beginning this process of awareness and acceptance that we change, grow, and heal.

The process of detaching in love from family members can take years. So can the process of learning how to react in a more effective way. We cannot control what they do or try to do, but we can gain some sense of control over how we choose to react.

Stop trying to make them act or treat us any differently. Unhook from their system by refusing to try to change or influence them.

Their patterns, particularly their patterns with us, are their issues. How we react, or allow these patterns to influence us, is our issue. How we take care of ourselves is our issue.

We can love our family and still refuse to buy into their issues. We can love our family but refuse their efforts to manipulate, control, or produce guilt in us.

We can take care of ourselves with family members without feeling guilty. We can learn to be assertive with family members without being aggressive. We can set the boundaries we need and want to set with family members without being disloyal to the family.

We can learn to love our family without forfeiting love and respect for ourselves.

Today, help me start practicing self care with family members. Help me know that I do not have to allow their issues to control my life, my day, or my feelings. Help me know it’s okay to have all my feelings about family members, without guilt or shame.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me – I always feel that they have not said enough.

—Mark Twain

Hearing the good words and praise of another person is harder for some of us to accept than criticism and abuse. Perhaps it is easier to receive what we are accustomed to, or maybe we feel a loss of control when someone compliments us. This is a time for us to begin accepting others’ actions. We do not need to be in control of our relationships at all times. When friends offer sincere compliments, we don’t need to push them away or brush them off.

All we need to do is allow others’ positive messages to come into us. In a good relationship we listen to the feelings of our friends, and sometimes that means truly listening as they tell us their good feelings about us.

Today, I will be open to the compliments that come my way without controlling them.

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Elder’s Meditation

“We are nothing compared to His power, and we feel and know it.”

–Black Hawk, SAUK

Inside of every man and woman is a place of knowing. In this place is the knowing that there is a Great One, the Great Mystery, the Holy One, the Great Spirit. We can deny this all we want but we know what we know. This place of knowing is at the very center of our being. It is gratifying to know that God cannot leave us. It is said we are spiritual beings trying to be human. With this power in our lives, we can accomplish much. We can do many good things for our people.

Oh Great Spirit, I know of Your power. I love the days when I can feel Your presence. Let today be one of those days. Let me walk today in Your beauty.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re learning how to create security for yourself, but your ego could tear it down. It’s one thing to be proud of what you’ve accomplished, but when you start comparing yourself to others — especially in a way that elevates you and lowers them — it starts to become unsavory. If they’re not hurting anyone with what they’re doing, making this comparison could hurt you more than it helps you. You’re allowed to mention your achievements, but you should avoid punching down.