DR – July 16, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 16, 2017:

Daily Reflection

“A MEASURE OF HUMILITY”

In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

It was painful to give up trying to control my life, even though success eluded me, and when life got too rough, I drank to escape. Accepting life on life’s terms will be mastered through the humility I experience when I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him. With my life in God’s care, fear, uncertainty, and anger are no longer my response to those portions of life that I would rather not have happen to me. The pain of living through these times will be healed by the knowledge that I have received the spiritual strength to survive.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 34~

Keep It Simple

We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
—Will Rogers

Humility is being thankful for the chance to watch the parade. There were days we thought that all that counted were the heroes. But our program has no heroes. It has many fine, spiritual people. . . but no heroes.

When someone is needed to make coffee or pick up after a meeting, we can be willing to do those things. Let’s look at doing these little jobs as our way of looking for a good spot on the curb. . . .to watch the parade! The floats are so colorful, and the bands play so loud!

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me be proud of who I am, instead of always putting myself down because I’m not who I “should” be.

Action for the Day:
I will look and help someone today. Service to others is service to my Higher Power.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You don’t want to perform in public today, but circumstances might require you to be in the spotlight anyhow. Fortunately, you possess enough confidence to do what is expected of you, regardless of your personal preferences. Once you overcome your initial resistance, you could even enjoy being the center of attention for a while. Don’t overreact to any specific event; instead, observe your changing feelings as if they were the color palette on your next painting.

Time Off for Myself

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Finally, I have some time off for myself.  I have already written how I have worked my arse off (going in early two days, doing two double shifts and working  12 days straight). By the Gods, I have been given the next three days off. Now the question is, what do I do not only to enjoy myself but to be productive at the same time.

I was supposed to have Thursday (7/13) and Monday (7/17) off. But with the current staffing issues at work, I was called into work Thursday. I could have declined but didn’t There was no guarantee I would get either Friday or Saturday off for my day off this week. Instead, I just bit the bullet and reported to work.  A couple hours after reporting to work, I was notified my Saturday shift would be covered. A couple hours after that, my boss asked if I would accept a schedule change. She would give me Sunday off if I worked a double on Friday of next week.  In the end, I got a three day weekend (Saturday through Monday).

One, I need rest. Yet, part of me doesn’t want to just sit in this house for three days. I could spend hours sitting in front of my computers for hours. But I want to do something different.

Here’s a list of things I need to do:

  • Get a haircut
  • Do laundry
  • Clean the kitchen
  • Put things where they belong
  • Create a budget
  •  Re-connect spiritually
  • Buy groceries

Things I want to do:

  • Go to Tioga Downs
  • Play Achaea or Lusternia
  • Reformat my three other computers to start over
  • Explore around my new house
  • Go out for a hike

Tioga Downs is a local casino. I’ve never really liked it since it opened in June 2006. But I go there every once and a while. The last couple of times, I’ve won quite a large sum of money. But the reason I go is NOT for the money but just to have a good time. I have also accumulated points for free meals at the buffet, so a free meal is tempting too. Should I tempt fate today?

Achaea and Lusternia are text-character based games called Multi-User Dungeon/Dimension/Domain. I’ve been playing them since 2003 off and on. Over the years both games have changed dramatically, as MUDs are no longer popular games to play, almost forgotten except for the few that continue to play them.

What I really want to do is to reformat one of my computers. But again, this is not an easy task. Typically I get bored through the process or I get side tracked because I create a to-do-list a mile long.  To be honest, I’m not sure if today is a good day since I’m so tired. I doubt I would be able to focus.

The weather has not been cooperative lately. For the last week, we’ve had powerful thunderstorms come through periodically. It’s been hot and humid. Right now it’s 68°F with cloudy skies, a slight cool breeze coming from the North. With no rain in the forecast today, perhaps I should just take a walk around the house or drive one of the various New York State forests for a hike? I just feel physically exhausted.

Lastly, I really need a haircut. My last buzz was in the middle of winter. Typically I get my haircut in the Summer and Winter. I’m way overdue. My head is beginning to literally look like a mop!! The problem – I have to drive 30 miles or more for a barber. The local barber has been closed every day when I pass by. I’ve called but there is no recorder, just a message, “Sorry we are closed, please call back later.”

It’s time to get off this arse. At the very least, take a shower and DO something. I’ve already lost track of time! I’ve missed my home group meeting at 12 p.m. There’s another thought – perhaps go to a meeting tonight, somewhere new?

Enough for now . . .

DR – July 15, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 15, 2017:

Daily Reflection

PRIDE

For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion. Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted.

In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 71

Time and again I approached the Seventh Step, only to fall back and regroup. Something was missing and the impact of the Step escaped me. What had I overlooked? A single word: read but ignored, the foundation of all the Steps, indeed the entire Alcoholics Anonymous program – that word is “humbly.”

I understood my shortcomings: I constantly put tasks off; I angered easily; I felt too much self-pity; and I thought, why me? Then I remembered, “Pride goeth before the fall,” and I eliminated pride from my life.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 14~

Keep It Simple

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.—Kahil Gilran

We all need time alone. Then we can get to know our Higher Power better too.

When we were using chemicals, we were afraid of being alone. We didn’t want to think too much.
So we got high.

Now we know we’re never totally alone. Our Higher Power is with us. We can relax. We can rest.

We can think, read, and meditate. We can our own best friend.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me use my time alone to know myself better. Help me get to know You too.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll plan to spend two hours alone to get to know myself better. I could take a long walk, or enjoy a park, or my garden. What will I do, and when?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may try to deflect some of your current feelings because you don’t want to put yourself in an emotionally vulnerable position. Although your preferences are very strong today, going along with someone else’s plan could be logistically less complicated. Nevertheless, it’s a smart idea to let others know what you want without expecting them to take responsibility for your needs. Transparency is the fastest route to intimacy.

DR – July 14, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 14, 2017:

Daily Reflection

A NOURISHING INGREDIENT
Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 74

 

How often do I focus on my problems and frustrations? When I am having a “good day” these same problems shrink in importance and my preoccupation with them dwindles. Wouldn’t it be better if I could find a key to unlock the “magic” of my “good days” for use on the woes of my “bad days?”

I already have the solution! Instead of trying to run away from my pain and wish my problems away, I can pray for humility! Humility will heal the pain. Humility will take me out of myself. Humility, that strength granted to me by that “power greater than myself,” is mine for the asking! Humility will bring balance back into my life. Humility will allow me to accept my humanness joyously.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did—then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 151~


Keep It Simple

Most of the evils of life arise from man’s being unable to sit still in a room.—Blaise Pascal

Our program teaches us to slow down. We learn to slow down by taking time out. During these times-outs, we look at our values and see if we’re staying true to them.

Because of that, meditation is an important part of our program. It teaches us to slow down. Our Higher Power wants us to have fun and play. But we need to bring our Higher Power along. Remember, our Higher Power loves fun. We can have fun, but not at the expense of others.

Prayer for the Day:
I pray for help so I can remember my values. Higher Power, teach me to have fun. Teach me to be true to You at the same time.

Action for the day: Today. I’ll three times mischief has been good fun. I’ll talk with a friend about the difference between trouble mischief and fun mischief.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It might seem like someone is shutting you down today before you get to speak your piece. Or, perhaps, your progress on a project encounters resistance, making you so frustrated you’re considering resignation. Fortunately, your deep reserve of tenacity will pull you through this momentary obstruction. You’re not in this for the quick buck; your long-term goals are your priority now and your patience will be tested. Ben Franklin wrote, “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

DR – July 13, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 13, 2017:

Daily Reflection

HUMILITY IS A GIFT, p.203

As long as we placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God’s will, was missing.

Twelve & Twelve, p.72

When I first came to A.A., I wanted to find some of the elusive quality called humility. I didn’t realize I was looking for humility because I thought it would help me get what I wanted, and I would do anything for others if I thought God would somehow reward me
for it. I try to remember now that the people I meet in the course of my day are as close to God as I am ever going to get while on this earth. I need to pray for knowledge of God’s will today, and see how my experience with hope and pain can help other people; if I can
do that, I don’t need to search for humility, it has found me.

Big Book Quote

“Everybody knows that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. So let each family play together or separately as much as their circumstances warrant. We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 132~


Keep It Simple

A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother. —Benjamin Franklin

Many of us come from families that aren’t very healthy for us. Many families have lots of love but aren’t able to show it. Maybe our parents argued or drank too much. When we share our recovery with them, they may not seem happy with us. They may be doing the best they can, but they don’t understand our new way of life.

We can have the love we wanted, but it might not come from our family. We can choose healthy friends to be our new “family.” Some friends may seem like the sister or brother we always wanted.

A sponsor can give us advice we never got from our parents. We can have a full, healthy “family life” after all.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me choose a good friend who will help me to be the best that I can be.

Action for the Day:
The best way to have a friend is to be a friend. What will I do today to be a friend?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your bold aspirations of possible adventures aren’t usually part of the Crab’s character. However, you’re inspired to reach beyond the edges of your emotional safety and stretch your mind in the process. But don’t stop to consider if your plans are realistic or even possible; leave the concrete thinking for another day. Just explore every notion that pops into your head as if it were a path to your future without fretting over the logistics. Mason Cooley wrote, “Fantasy mirrors desire. Imagination reshapes it.”

DR – July 12, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 12, 2017:

Daily Reflection

GIVING UP CENTER STAGE
For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. . . . Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 70
Why do I balk at the word “humility”? I am not humbling myself toward other people, but toward God, as I understand Him. Humility means “to show submissive respect,” and by being humble I realize I am not the center of the universe. When I was drinking, I was consumed by pride and self-centeredness. I felt the entire world revolved around me, that I was master of my destiny. Humility enables me to depend more on God to help me overcome obstacles, to help me with my own imperfections, so that I may grow spiritually. I must solve more difficult problems to increase my proficiency and, as I encounter life’s stumbling blocks, I must learn to overcome them through God’s help. Daily communion with God demonstrates my humility and provides me with the realization that an entity more powerful than I is willing to help me if I cease trying to play God myself.
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 46~

 

Keep It Simple

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.—Benjamin Franklin

We all want to be loved. and no matter how much we’re loved, we always want more. How can we be lovable? What does the mean? Should we try to be perfect? Should we act cute and helpless? No, being lovable means that we act ourselves. We let others get to know us. When others love us, we enjoy it. We tell them. We let them know that their love isn’t wasted on us, that it’s important to us. We are lovable, and we are loved!

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me accept the love of others today. Help me be lovable.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list all the little things others do that show that they care for me.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Although you prefer the familiarity of your daily routine, you might feel a sudden urge to break free from your safe and secure world. However, it’s not likely that you’ll quit your job and head overseas today, even if you’re struck with a seemingly incurable case of wanderlust. Follow your instincts to widen your horizons by learning about a subject that’s outside your regular sphere of reference. Attorney Gerry Spence wrote, “I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.”

The Current State of Affairs

On By mikeykjrIn Personal

It’s been over a week since my move into my new home. I have been doing nothing but work, work and work some more. Since I’m much closer to work it gives me an opportunity to pick up shifts for some extra needed money. Remember, I moved in with literally nothing. There is a cost for my decision. How things have quickly changed from peaceful and serene to a state of restlessness, irritability, and discontent.

heart_20170709 Sunday of last week I picked up this cutie from my Sponsor. Her name is Heart. She’s 19 years old (supposedly).  “Grandpa” (as I now call my ex-Sponsor) could not care for her anymore. How I quickly forgot the responsibilities of a kid in the house! It cost me nearly $50 to get her all set up in the house. She no longer has to fight with her sister over food and can get all the love in the world from me (if I were home). This picture represents the stare I get in the morning when I’m sitting on the floor, typing on the computer and she wants attention. What am I to do but oblige! She’s irresistible. But she misses her sister dearly, as she howls in the middle of the night but

But at times she can be the devil too!  She misses her sister dearly or me howling in the middle of the night. Thankfully that behavior is diminishing. She also likes to wake me up between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. because she wants to be fed. Yesterday I ignored her, so she began to lick my nose until I woke up! Lastly, anytime I’m awake it’s all about her, “Dad, I want loves …” **purr, purr** . I feel bad for leaving her for so long sometimes.

It’s just “the same shit, different day” at work. Last week, I worked 10 hours overtime. I am also working a total of eleven days straight before I get a day off. I’ve come in early and did a double shift (16 hours) the other day. This is my fault because I told them I was available. Therefore, I’m simply doing as agreed.

frustrationaltanakaI’ve tried, as much as possible, to ignore the whining of my co-workers. But when you have competent residents who start to act like children, it can get overwhelming. I’ve talked to three residents, who others simply ignore, reminding them there are sixty residents in the building and their behaviors are rude, disrespectful and getting quite annoying for someone as old as them. I wasn’t mean nor yelling, I was just stern. It seemed to work in the last 24 hours. On the other hand, I’ve been told by various employees and residents how much they appreciate all the hard work I put in. Some are thinking of going to the Administrator (who I haven’t even met) to let her know of my dedication to the job. I don’t expect anything. I’m there because I like my job, despite the constant obstacles and I truly care about the well-being of my residents, as a CNA should be.

Lastly, I have begun to get to meetings again. It hasn’t been consistent but I’m going.  The meeting I have gone to I’ve made my home group. There isn’t much a choice for a Sponsor, so I’m going to wait until I get to other meetings. My home group is very receptive to my knowledge and experience of the program.

I know things will work out in time; I just need to practice patience. As they say, “God will only put enough on your plate that you can handle if you let Him.” I’ve experienced it, so I truly believe it.

 

 

DR – July 11, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 11, 2017:

Daily Reflection

A TURNING POINT

A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

Either the A.A. way of life becomes one of joy or I return to the darkness and despair of alcoholism. Joy comes to me when my attitude concerning God and humility turns to one of desire rather than of burden. The darkness in my life changes to radiant light when I arrive at the realization that being truthful and honest in dealing with my inventory results in my life being filled with serenity, freedom, and joy. Trust in my Higher Power deepens, and the flush of gratitude spreads through my being. I am convinced that being humble is being truthful and honest in dealing with myself and God. It is then that humility is something I “really want,” rather than being “something I must have.”

Big Book Quote

“Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts, they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But

they often suspect they are down for the count.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 23~

Keep It Simple

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.—Benjamin Franklin

We all want to be loved. and no matter how much we’re loved, we always want more.
How can we be lovable? What does the mean? Should we try to be perfect? Should we act cute and helpless? No, being lovable means that we act ourselves. We let others get to know us. When others love us, we enjoy it. We tell them. We let them know that their love isn’t wasted on us, that it’s important to us. We are lovable, and we are loved!

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me accept the love of others today. Help me be lovable.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list all the little things others do that show that they care for me.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You hope that the current noise at work will give you a chance to go unnoticed for stretches of time today. You like the idea of slipping beneath the radar now as if you’re on a stealth mission. Nevertheless, you’re not as invisible as you think because your behavior influences others. There are many ways to impact your future and leading by example is one of the smartest strategies in your playbook these days. Picasso said, “Action is the foundational key to all success.”

DR – July 10, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 10, 2017:

Daily Reflection

TOWARD PEACE AND SERENITY

. . . when we have taken a square look at some of these defects, have discussed them with another, and have become willing to have them removed, our thinking about humility commences to have a wider meaning.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 74

When situations arise which destroy my serenity, pain often motivates me to ask God for clarity in seeing my part in the situation. Admitting my powerlessness, I humbly pray for acceptance. I try to see how my character defects contributed to the situation. Could I have been more patient? Was I intolerant? Did I insist on having my own way? Was I afraid? As my defects are revealed, I put self-reliance aside and humbly ask God to remove my shortcomings. The situation may not change, but as I practice exercising humility, I enjoy the peace and serenity which are the natural benefits of placing my reliance in a power greater than myself.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They may be the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.” 

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 66~

 

Keep It Simple

Everybody knows that when they’re happy than usual, the people around them are happy.
—George Harrison

Do we think we can’t be happy until others are happy? Then nobody is happy. Our unhappy friends won’t take our advice. They say,” Why should I do what you say? You are not happy either.” And we answer, “I’ll be okay when you’re happy.” We make them responsible for our happiness. What a mess!

We can only make one person happy—ourselves. How? By living as our Higher Power leads us. By working the Steps. By being grateful for the good things in our lives. By loving ourselves and others, just as we are.

And maybe when we’re happy, our friends will learn from us. They can be happy too. But only our friends can make themselves happy.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, as I do my part in Your plan today, help me feel connected to You and to life.

Today’s Action:
Today I’ll enjoy my happiness. I’ll look for three ways to share it with others.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

An unavoidable disagreement over an intensely emotional issue could provoke random feelings of helplessness now. Thankfully, transformation is your superpower today, enabling you to skillfully turn negative emotions into fuel for positive change. Looking within your heart can lead you to your own tender spot, but your self-awareness won’t matter until you are vulnerable with your partner. Buddha taught, “When words are both true and kind they could change the world.”

DR – July 9, 2017

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Daily Recovery Readings for July  9, 2017:

Daily Reflection

I AM AN INSTRUMENT
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 70

 

The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.

God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me. In the light of this awareness, how can I take pride in my accomplishments? I am an instrument and any work I seem to be doing is being done by God through me. I ask God on a daily basis to remove my shortcomings, in order that I may more freely go about my A.A. business of “love and service.”

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try.” 

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 28~

Keep It Simple

First say to yourself what you would be: and then do what you have to do. – Eptctetus

We often tell ourselves we want to be more peaceful, more in touch with our Higher Power. In other words, we want to become more spiritual. Acting as spiritual people is hard. Tho often, we choose the easy way. We make a nasty comment even if we know it’ll only make things worse.

We say we have a program for living. Are we living our program? We’ll find the answer in our behavior. Sober people act in sober ways. We attend meetings regularly. We study spiritual ideas. We work to bring joy to our lives and the lives of others. Just as we know a good friend by the way he or she behaves, we know a sober person by the way he or she behaves.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me be a person whose words and actions match up.

Today’s Action:
Today I’ll take an inventory of my actions to see if they are those of a sober person.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

A friendship or partnership might run into obstacles that require you to reexamine your emotions. You must communicate your feelings as honestly as possible while the dutiful Capricorn Full Moon shines in your 7th House of Relationships, stirring up trouble or excitement. If there is someone special in your world, how you handle resolving a touchy conflict now establishes the foundation for what comes next. Either way, responding directly from your heart can improve the overall quality of your everyday life. Brene Brown wrote, “What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.”