DR – Mar 24, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
March 24, 2017

Daily Reflection

ACTIVE, NOT PASSIVE, p. 92

Man is supposed to think, and act. He wasn’t made to God’s image to be an automation.

~As Bill Sees It, p. 55

Before I joined A.A., I often did not think, and reacted to people and situations. When not reacting I acted in a mechanical fashion. After joining A.A., I started seeking daily guidance from a Power greater than myself, and learning to listen for that guidance. Then I began to make decisions and act on them, rather than react to them. The results have been constructive; I no longer allow others to make decisions for me and then criticize me for it.

Today–and every day–with a heart full of gratitude, and a desire for God’s will to be done through me, my life is worth sharing, especially with my fellow alcoholics! Above all, if I do not make a religion out of anything, even A.A., then I can be an open channel for God’s
expression.

Big Book Quote

“…the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, Page 23~

Keep It Simple

Love your enemy it will drive him nuts. ~Eleanor Doan

Love you enemy. It’s a lot easier on you! Hating someone takes so much time and energy.

Loving your enemy means, instead of trying to get even, you let your Higher Power handle that person. Of course, loving your enemy is also hard. It means giving up control. It means giving up self-will. We addicts naturally want to control things and people.

This is where we turn to our program for help. We learn to love our enemies, not for some grand reason. We simply do it because hate can cause us to use alcohol or other drugs again.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, watch over my family, friends, and my enemies. Take from me my desire to control. Take from me all reasons to get high.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list all my enemies. I’ll say each of their names, and then I’ll read the Third Step out loud.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may be overly protective of your opinions now as you recall past experiences when speaking up didn’t go very well. However, letting your guard down just enough to listen to a coworker or friend could prove to be worthwhile when benevolent Jupiter stands opposite clever Mercury in your 10th House of Reputation. You might even win some points for being willing to put differences aside and welcome someone’s input. Life is too short not to try and find common ground. Maya Angelou writes, “We are more alike, my friends, than unalike.”

DR – Mar 23, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
March 23, 2017

Daily Reflection

. . . AND NO MORE RESERVATIONS

We have seen the truth again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.”. . . If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. . . . To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33

These words are underlined in my book. They are true for men and women alcoholics. On many occasions I’ve turned to this page and reflected on this passage. I need never fool myself by recalling my sometimes differing drinking patterns, or by believing I am “cured.” I like to think that, if sobriety is God’s gift to me, then my sober life is my gift to God. I hope God is as happy with His gift as I am with mine.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, Page 52~

Keep It Simple

If anything, we have tended to be people who have wanted it all now. To hope is not to demand. —On hope

Maybe we were a bit demanding. Maybe we were a bit impatient. Maybe that’s why we such little hope.

Hope is believing good will, even in bad times. Hope is knowing that “this too, shall pass.” Hope is knowing that no mater how afraid we are, God will be with us. Hope is knowing we never have to be alone again. It is knowing that time is o our side. Hope is giving up control. Hope is knowing we never had control in the first place. Hope is believing in ourselves. Hope is what our program is all about.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, in our program we share our experiences, our strengths, and our hopes. Thank you for giving all three of these to me to share.

Action for the Day:
I will share my hope for the future with myself, my Higher Power, and my friends. I also will share this with someone who has lost hope.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You feel the words rising in your throat and you’re not sure if you can bite your tongue for much longer. Although you know that stress at work is inevitable, things may reach a boiling point where you’re unable to keep silent. Defending your position is essential and you should stand your ground with confidence. But if there’s something on your mind unrelated to your job, don’t take it out on your coworkers. Discussing your thoughts with the right people turns a frustrating conversation into a healing experience.

A Short Fuse

I have short fuse: annoyance, frustration, then anger just keeps building up until I blow like Mount St. Helen’s. It’s those many defects of character I work on a daily basis I can’t seem get under control. In the past, I reached for the bottle because I kept those feelings tucked deep inside. Since then I learned tools to deal with them in an appropriate manner but many times I react before I think. The end result is disastrous – always.

For instance, here is a situation I am currently struggling with. I tend to make promises I can’t keep. It’s not intentional. People don’t seem to understand my schedule as a CNA change change on a whim.

Monday I had to work a double (3 p.m. to 7 a.m.) because I was mandated. My employer required me to work at risk of being fired if I did not. This is not something I choose to do nor I agree with nor something I can control. This is common in the nursing field; we can’t just leave our jobs until we are relieved by another person.

I had made plans with this person before I went to work on Tuesday but had to cancel. Tuesday morning I receive a text with a smart ass remark, “I figured that. You have to get your 10 hours of sleep. Tomorrow will be another excuse.” I was flabbergasted.

What I wanted to do, right then and there, was rip off his head and shit down his throat. Seriously. After working a 12 hour shift, after a three day weekend, after the previous weeks fiasco with Storm Stella? I thought it was unnecessary, uncompassionate and not understanding of my situation at all.
I didn’t respond nor have I responded to additional texts, as if nothing happened at all.

Part of me just wants to end the relationship or at a minimum take a break. The other part of me wants to attempt to talk to him. Problem: He is my Sponsor. I know him well enough, he’ll just turn this around on me, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

I vowed to NOT write about him in this journal, yet over the last couple of weeks, he keeps popping up.  Every now and then, we get to this stage in the relationship, we take a break for a couple of months, then repeat the cycle.  I don’t know if I should get off the merry-go-round or just grim my teeth and bare it.

Part of me feels a life long debt to him.  The other part of him wants to throw his hypocritical, selfish, self serving, insincere, sorry ass to the curb. **SELF:  Temper, Michael. Temper.** On the other hand, perhaps it is time we just part of seperate ways.

Any comments, questions or concerns would be appreciated.

What happens when your relationship with your Sponsor is no longer healthy for either of you?

DR – Mar 22, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
March 22, 2017

Daily Reflection

NO MORE STRUGGLE. . .

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—even alcohol.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

When A.A. found me, I thought I was in for a struggle, and that A.A. might provide the strength I needed to beat alcohol. Victorious in that fight, who knows what other battles I could win. I would need to be strong, though. All my previous experience with life proved that. Today I do not have to struggle or exert my will. If I take those Twelve Steps and let my Higher Power do the real work, my alcohol problem disappears all by itself. My living problems also cease to be struggles. I just have to ask whether acceptance—or change—is required. It is not my will, but His, that needs doing.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“If a repetition is to be prevented, place the problem, along with everything else, in God’s hands.” ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, To Wives, Page 120~

Keep It Simple

If anything, we have tended to be people who wanted it all now. To hope is not Not to demand. — On Hope
Maybe we were a bit demanding. Maybe we were a bit impatient. Maybe that’s why we had such little hope.
Hope is believing good will come even in bad time. Hope is knowing that “this, too, shall pass.”

Hope is knowing that no matter how afraid we are, God will be with us. Hope is knowing we never have to be alone again. It is knowing that time that time is on our side. Hope is giving up control. Hope is knowing we never had control in the first place. Hope is believing in ourselves. Hope is what our program is all about.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, in our program we share our experiences, our strengths, and our hopes. Thank you for giving all three of these to me to share.

Action for the Day:
I will share my hope for the future with myself, my Higher Power, and my friends. I also will share this with someone who has lost hope.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It doesn’t seem right that it’s so difficult to fit your closest friends into your schedule. However, you’re being pulled in so many directions now that it’s tricky to know what to prioritize. Chances are there are people missing you too, and you may need to erase activities you penciled in to be with the ones you love. The dutiful Capricorn Moon in your 7th House of Companions nudges you to spend quality time with someone near and dear to you. Rumi teaches, “With life as short as a half-taken breath, don’t plant anything but love.”

DR – Mar 21, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
March 21, 2017

Daily Reflection

MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING

Fear . . . of economic insecurity will leave us.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economic circumstances improve, are two different things. When I was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused. I thought fear would leave me only when I started making money. However, another line from the Big Book jumped off the page one day when I was chewing on my financial difficulties: “For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.” (p. 127). I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee. I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears.

Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit others. I’ve found that is what others valued all along. I try to remember that I no longer work for myself. I only get the use of the wealth God created, I never have “owned” it. My life’s purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, Page 133~

Keep It Simple

Keep It Simple

With each sunrise, we start anew. —-Anonymous

Like a tree, our life depends on new growth. There are many ways to bring new ideas and growth into our lives. We can attend Twelve Step retreats. We can study books and tapes on spirituality.
We can attend different Twelve Step meetings.

But our spiritual newness may not just come from the Twelve Steps. We can do volunteer work or be active in other types of groups. We need to invite new ideas into our lives. We need to stay open to change. It doesn’t matter what renews our spiritual growth. What matters is that we keep our spiritual lives fresh and growing.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, spring is one of the four seasons. Help me feel like spring. Help me to be strong but not stuck Help me be firm yet open to spiritual growth.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll try to do something new. When I get stuck or stubborn, I’ll see that it’s due to my fear of trying new ideas.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Talking about professional aspirations with a friend or partner may be uncomfortable if they start to scold you for your ambition. Although their intentions are likely well-intended, you might feel judged when the cold Capricorn Moon clashes with an overzealous Mercury-Venus duo in your 10th House of Career. However, you must be willing to proceed without validation from others now, even if it means drawing from your spiritual practice to feel at peace. The only approval that really matters is your own.

DR – Mar 20, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
March 20, 2017

Daily Reflection

LOVE AND TOLERANCE

Love and tolerance of others is our code.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

I have found that I have to forgive others in all situations to maintain any real spiritual progress. The vital importance of forgiving may not be obvious to me at first sight, but my studies tell me that every great spiritual teacher has insisted strongly upon it.
I must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter of form, but in my heart. I do this not for the other persons’ sake, but for my own sake. Resentment, anger, or a desire to see someone punished, are things that rot my soul. Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other problems that have nothing to do with my original problem.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Foreword To First Edition, pg.
xiii~

Keep It Simple

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you. —Dale Carnegie

We wanted friends, but our addiction wanted all our attention. We had no time to be close to others.

Well, stand aside, addiction! The program has taught us that others are important. Our purpose is to help others. People have become what’s important to us.

Now we listen to others. We help them do what they want to do, not what we want them to do. We help people instead of use them. Friendship is now a way of life. And another promise of the program becomes a part of us.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me to know that I’m here to help others, not just myself. Through others, I find myself.

Today’s’ Action:
Today I’ll help someone the way he or she wants to be helped.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re ready to steel your nerves and go after your ambitions with renewed fervor. However, in the back of your mind you’re wondering how your aspirations affect the people around you. You wouldn’t want to do anything to compromise your closest relationships but at the same time you are pulled to create your own success while the Sun brightens your 10th House of Career. You could feel like you have to sacrifice one for the other but luckily, this tension fades in the days to come. Tim McGraw sings, “Chase your dreams but always know the road that will lead you home again.”

What A Sponsor Does for Me

My Sponsor and I have known each other for over nine years now. We have a strong relationship. As mentioned, after receiving my nine year medallion, he is one of three people who saved my life. He’s been there, night and day, through my “growing pains” of sobriety, thus I am eternally thankful. However, there are times the relationship feels as if I’m about to jump off a cliff; the relationship doesn’t seem to be working. Yet, there are times, like yesterday, when I’m reminded why he’s my Sponsor.

After an exhausting week at work, due to Storm Stella, the plan was to stay at home.  With my job as a CNA, I don’t have a luxury of two days off together. Three days off, like this weekend, is exceptionally rare. I wanted to make the most of it getting things done of my ever growing personal to-do-list. But my Sponsor always seems to put a dent in my plans.

This is the part where I feel the relationship is no longer working.  At the age of 76, I’ve noticed an increasing number of signs attributed with his age.  He tends to be very forgetful, yet insistent he’s always right.  That in itself just drives me nuts, as I just grind my teeth and bare it.Over the years I’ve known him, I have learned he can be a hypocrite.  Another annoying side of him. Lately, he’s become needy and dependent on me.  Every day off he “suggests” I come help him with tasks he should do for himself.  Of course, I indulge him, only regretting my decisions every time.

But there is another side of him – the reason he’s my Sponsor.  While his suggestions can become numerous, he’s typically spot on. For instance, I haven’t been to a meeting in quite a long time.  Yesterday, he made the strong suggestion I need to attend more meetings. Part of me struggles accepting his suggestion, while the other part of me knows he’s exactly right.

A while ago, I made a commitment to attend the noon meeting at a local church daily to myself.  I made it a couple of times, then just stopped going. Excuses: I was to busy having more important things to do; I wasn’t getting any messages for myself there; it was a waste of my time. Then almost every day, I ridicule myself for not going. As I look back, selfishness rears its ugly head putting me on the pity pot. Houston, we have a problem!

But the more I think about it, my Sponsor is right. I need to get involved going to meetings to share my experience, strength and hope.  I’ve seen to many people go down that road never to return again. It’s my experience meetings are an essential part of your recovery – it is a must and should not be ignored.

Therefore, I need to get back to reality. I need to stop thinking and just DO it. That is why I have a Sponsor – to give me a reality check and help me keep my sobriety in tact.

 

 

 

 

 

 

DR – Mar 19, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
March 19, 2017

Daily Reflection

PRAYER: IT WORKS

It has been well said that “almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough.”
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 97

Having grown up in an agnostic household, I felt somewhat foolish when I first tried praying. I knew there was a Higher Power working in my life—how else was I staying sober?—but I certainly wasn’t convinced he/she/it wanted to hear my prayers. People who had what I wanted said prayer was an important part of practicing the program, so I persevered. With a commitment to daily prayer, I was amazed to find myself becoming more serene and comfortable with my place in the world. In other words, life became easier and less of a struggle. I’m still not sure who, or what, listens to my prayers, but I’d never stop saying them for the simple reason that they work.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 67~

Keep It Simple

Keep It Simple

Speak when you’re angry and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret. ~ Lawrence J. Peter

When we used alcohol or other drugs, most of us were hotheads. We thought we were right. If we were proven wrong, we may have made life hell for everyone. People knew enough to stay away from us. In recovery, things will still go badly at times. We’ll get hurt. And we’ll get angry. But now, we turn our anger to our Higher Power. In our groups, we talk about what makes us angry. Then we leave the anger behind when the meeting is over. We find that being at peace is now more important than getting even.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, when I’m angry, help me slow down, Help me remember it’s okay to be angry, but its not okay to abuse people.

Action for the Day:
I will remember a time when I turned anger, into rage and hurt someone. I will also remember a time I was angry in a respectful way.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Nothing is quite to scale today as menial tasks seem to grow to fill the container they’re placed in. Spare time vanishes as you keep finding additional ways to tweak your work. Before you know it, you may have prolonged a chore that should have taken no time at all. Luckily, in the midst of making a big deal out of something small you could gain unexpected insights. Socrates wrote, “Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.”

DR – Mar 18, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
March 18, 2017

Daily Reflection

REAL INDEPENDENCE

The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 36

I start with a little willingness to trust God and He causes that willingness to grow. The more willingness I have, the more trust I gain, and the more trust I gain, the more willingness I have. My dependence on God grows as my trust in Him grows. Before I became willing, I depended on myself for all my needs and I was restricted by my incompleteness. Through my willingness to depend upon my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God, all my needs are provided for by Someone Who knows me better than I know myself—even the needs I may not realize, as well as the ones yet to come. Only Someone Who knows me that well could bring me to be myself and to help me fill the need in someone else that only I am meant to fill. There never will be another exactly like me. And that is real independence.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“…we have ceased fighting anything or anyone— even alcohol.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 84~

Keep It Simple

Money cost to much.—Ross MacDonald

Many people are poor and really need money to live better. But we’re in trouble if we think money will solve all our problems. If money solved all problems, all rich people would be happy.

Consider this: A man talks about his shortcomings in a Twelve Step meeting. He says his main shortcoming is to think being happy means having enough money. But then he says that he has over a million dollars! This man is lucky—not because he has money, but because he knows greed is a shortcoming. He knows he has a spiritual problem. He doesn’t need money; he needs faith in a Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me to really believe I’ll be given what I need. This will free me to get on with life.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll read over the promises of the program. They are found at the bottom of page 83 at the top of the page of page 84 in the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re ready to shake off the blues and do something useful today. Sometimes the best way to give yourself an energetic boost is to get your blood pumping; making the time for a walk or even a fun workout is favored as the sassy Sagittarius Moon bounces through your 6th House of Wellbeing. Even if fitness isn’t your speed, any activity that ignites your enthusiasm is sure to bolster your sense of self-worth. The body may reflect the mind, but physical activity can get the mind moving.

Survivor of Storm Stella

Storm Stella

This week was a long, exhausting week for me. Storm Stella decided to dump an unprecedented amount of snow in parts of the Northeast. Particularly in Binghamton, NY, where I happen to live, we got over thirty plus (30+) inches of snow. While I escaped the worst of it, I have my own tale to tell since I was stuck at work all week.

Monday night / Tuesday morning there wasn’t but a few inches on the ground in Ithaca, NY.  I couldn’t get up a hill, so I ended up parking in a garage and walking to work.

After work I trekked back to the parking garage. I was annoyed the attendant was trying to charge me when I was told by my employer there was no charge since there was a state of emergency and I was an “essential employee”. Eventually leaving without paying anything and a scowl from the attendant, I almost got my car stuck in a snow bank because the hotel didn’t plow their lot.  I ended up parking a block away in front of someone’s house.

Wednesday morning I received a call asking to report to work.  The Administrator ended up coming to get me.  I was going to pay for another night but my boss offered for me to stay at “the cottage” (our training center). During lunch, the maintenance guy and another guy passing by had to help push my car out of the snow drift. Checked out of the hotel, brought my car to work and finished a 16 hour day (7 a.m. to 11 p.m.).

Thursday morning, I reported to work at 7 a.m.  Since I was working on my day off, I would get Friday off and was already scheduled to be off for the weekend.  So, I got a three-day weekend! Worked until 11 p.m. again.  Finally drove home and passed out from exhaustion.

During the week I learned of the 30+ inches of snow dumped in Binghamton.  Wow, I haven’t seen this much snow since I lived in Michigan in the 1970’s!! Some two lane streets are literally only one lane. Pedestrians are walking in the street <—- annoying!! Most of the corners of the streets are now blind corners, you can’t see either way unless  you risk inching out and getting hit.  Cars are still buried everywhere. It’s a mess but I’m glad to be home!

Here is a graphic of how much snow Binghamton, NY has received this year along:

0315_bgm_snowfall_11pm.jpg

Now I get to enjoy a three day weekend!