Daily Recovery Readings
February 13, 2024

Daily Reflection

WE CAN’T THINK OUR WAY SOBER

To the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman, many A.A.’s can say, “Yes, we were like you — far too smart for our own good. . . . Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brain power alone.”

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 60

Even the most brilliant mind is no defense against the disease of alcoholism. I can’t think my way sober. I try to remember that intelligence is a Godgiven attribute that I may use, a joy—like having a talent for dancing or drawing or carpentry. It does not make me better than anyone else, and it is not a particularly reliable tool for recovery, for it is a power greater than myself who will restore me to sanity—not a high IQ or a college degree.

Big Book Quote

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—, that principle is contempt prior to investigation.'”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Appendice II, Spiritual Experience, pg. 568~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Sometimes we can’t help thinking: Why can’t we ever drink again? We know it’s because we’re alcoholics, but why did we have to get that way? The answer is that at some time in our drinking careers, we passed what is called our “tolerance point.” When we passed this point, we passed from a condition in which we could tolerate alcohol to a condition in which we could not tolerate it at all. After that, if we took one drink, we would sooner or later end up drunk. When I think of liquor now, do I think of it as something that I can never tolerate again?

Meditation for the Day

In a race, it is when the goal is in sight that heart and nerves and muscles and courage are strained almost to the breaking point. So with us, the goal of the spiritual life is in sight. All we need is the final effort. The saddest records are made by people who ran well, with brave, stout hearts, until the sight of the goal and then some weakness or self-indulgence held them back. They never knew how near the goal they were or how near they were to victory.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached. I pray that I may not give up in the final stretch.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Trusting Ourselves

What a great gift we’ve been given – ourselves. To listen to ourselves, to trust instinct and intuition, is to pay tribute to that gift.

What a disservice not to heed the leadings and leanings that so naturally arise from within. When will we learn that these leadings and leanings draw us into God’s rich plan for us?

We will learn. We will learn by listening, trusting, and following through. What is it time to do?… What do I need to do to take care of myself?… What am I being led to do?… What do I know?

Listen, and we will know. Listen to the voice within.

Today, I will listen and trust. I will be helped to take action when that is needed. I can trust God and myself.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

It is a cheap generosity, which promises the future in compensation for the present.

—J. A. Spender

Living in this moment is all we really have. We are constantly bombarded with advice to live for the future, but it perpetually exists beyond our grasp like the carrot tempting the donkey. We are told to be mindful of our career paths, to save for the future, and to sacrifice now for later rewards. We put off spending time with our children, but later they are no longer the same children. We postpone seeing friends now and discover later that we have lost our relationships.

Of course, we can’t be foolish about our future. We need to make some plans and delay some immediate pleasures. But for now, we can only have a rapport with others and ourselves and experience life in this moment. The present is the only time when anything can happen, any change can occur. This moment is like a fresh, cool breeze. The rest exists only in our imaginations or memories.

May I feel the exhilaration of being alive in this moment and maintain a balance in my perspective today.

Elder’s Meditation

“I wanted to feel, smell, hear and see, but not see with my eyes and my mind only. I wanted to see with CANTE ISTA – the eye of the heart.”

–Lame Deer, LAKOTA

Why is it that some people seem to have peace of mind every day? How do some people remain so darn positive? How do you stay positive if you work or live in a negative environment? How is it that two people can observe the same difficult situation, but one person is upset about it, and other isn’t? Two people experiencing the same situation react entirely different. If each morning we ask the Creator to allow us to see with His understanding and with His love, we will open a new way of “seeing”. This eye of the heart is a free gift given to us if we ask for it in prayer each day.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Asserting yourself may presently provoke a disapproving response from an authority figure. While individualistic Mars charges into your 8th House of Boundaries, you’re probably looking to increase the amount of freedom in your life. However, it’s not likely to just be handed to you. Undergoing a guilt trip could suck the joy out of your efforts. No matter how good your intentions are, you can’t always make everyone happy in the moment. If you maintain a positive attitude, though, perhaps they’ll come around later.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 12, 2024

Daily Reflection

“THE ROOT OF OUR TROUBLES”

Selfishness — self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62

How amazing the revelation that the world, and everyone in it, can get along just fine with or without me. What a relief to know that people, places and things will be perfectly okay without my control and direction. And how wordlessly wonderful to come to believe that a power greater than me exists separate and apart from myself. I believe that the feeling of separation I experience between me and God will one day vanish. In the meantime, faith must serve as the pathway to the center of my life.

Big Book Quote

“We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 133~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

As we look back on all those troubles we used to have when we were drinking, the hospitals, the jails, we wonder how we could have wanted that kind of a life. As we look back on it now, we see our drinking life as it really was and we’re glad we’re out of it. So after a few months in A.A., we find that we can honestly say that we want something else more than drinking. We’ve learned by experience that a sober life is really enjoyable and we wouldn’t go back to the old drunken way of living for anything in the world. Do I want to keep sober a lot more than I want to get drunk?

Meditation for the Day

My spiritual life depends on an inner consciousness of God. I must be led in all things by my consciousness of God and I must trust Him in all things. My consciousness of God will always bring peace to me. I will have no fear, because a good future lies before me as long as I keep my consciousness of God. If in every single happening, event, and plan I am conscious of God, then no matter what happens, I will be safe in God’s hands.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may always have this consciousness of God. I pray for a new and better life through this God consciousness.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting Go of Those Not in Recovery

We can go forward with our life and recoveries, even though someone we love is not yet recovering.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge it is cold and dark. We stood there with others in the cold and darkness, doubled over in pain. Some of us developed an eating disorder to cope with the pain. Some drank; some used other drugs. Some of us lost control of our sexual behavior. Some of us obsessively focused on addicted people’s pain to distract us from our own pain. Many of us did both: we developed an addictive behavior, and distracted ourselves by focusing on other addicted people. We did not know there was a bridge. We thought we were trapped on a cliff.

Then, some of us got lucky. Our eyes opened, by the Grace of God, because it was time. We saw the bridge. People told us what was on the other side: warmth, light, and healing from our pain. We could barely glimpse or imagine this, but we decided to start the trek across the bridge anyway.

We tried to convince the people around us on the cliff that there was a bridge to a better place, but they wouldn’t listen. They couldn’t see it; they couldn’t believe. They were not ready for the journey. We decided to go alone, because we believed, and because people on the other side were cheering us onward. The closer we got to the other side, the more we could see, and feel, that what we had been promised was real. There was light, warmth, healing, and love. The other side was a better place.

But now, there is a bridge between those on the other side and us. Sometimes, we may be tempted to go back and drag them over with us, but it cannot be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice, when the time is right. Some will come; some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.

We can love them. We can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on, as others have cheered and encouraged us. But we cannot make them come over with us.

If our time has come to cross the bridge, or if we have already crossed and are standing in the light and warmth, we do not have to feel guilty. It is where we are meant to be. We do not have to go back to the dark cliff because another’s time has not yet come.

The best thing we can do is stay in the light, because it reassures others that there is a better place. And if others ever do decide to cross the bridge, we will be there to cheer them on.

Today, I will move forward with my life, despite what others are doing or not doing. I will know it is my right to cross the bridge to a better life, even if I must leave others behind to do that. I will not feel guilty. I will not feel ashamed. I know that where I am now is a better place and where I’m meant to be.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light I have.

—Abraham Lincoln

With too much focus on control, we men have been preoccupied by our overemphasis on outcomes. We say winning is everything, and the way we play the game doesn’t matter. We give honor to a man who has accumulated great wealth, regardless of how he has lived. We develop sexual problems because we focus on performance and achieving orgasm rather than on the joy of loving.

As our integrity grows, our emphasis changes. It is not crucial that we always be right, only that we be honest. We do not have to be winners or high achievers so much as we have to be real human beings. Conquest is not as important as connection. We do not always have to compare ourselves and be better than the next guy. We can exchange and appreciate the communication.

Today, I will grow in my relationships with others by being more true to myself and less driven toward a particular outcome.

Elder’s Meditation

“.the spirit still has something for us to discover – an herb, a sprig, a flower – a very small flower, maybe you can spend a long time in its contemplation, thinking about it.”

–Lame Deer, LAKOTA

The world today is about hurry up! Get there faster! Work harder, produce more, hurry up, eat quickly, be on time, don’t get stressed- headaches, conflict, drink to calm down, go to training on stress management, time management – STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! Go spend 5 minutes with a flower or a plant. Look at it – think about it – look at its beauty, smell it, close your eyes and smell it again. Touch it; touch with your eyes closed. Listen to it; listen to it with your eyed closed. Slow your mind down. Think about the little things. Now close your eyes and pray.

Great Spirit, this feeling of calmness that I have, let me have it all day long.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Someone else’s tale of a dramatic spiritual experience could currently get you excited. You might also be a little jealous if you haven’t had anything similar happen yourself. Of course, part of the nature of these events is that you can’t force them to occur on command. Still, you’ll potentially increase your chances by making a commitment to steer your own ship. The transformative encounter you seek has a higher chance of happening when you’re not relying too heavily on the guidance of others.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 11, 2024

Daily Reflection

THE LIMITS OF SELF-RELIANCE

We asked ourselves why we had them [fears]. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us?

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 68

All of my character defects separate me from God’s will. When I ignore my association with Him I face the world and my alcoholism alone and must depend on self-reliance. I have never found security and happiness through self-will and the only result is a life of fear and discontent. God provides the path back to Him and to His gift of serenity and comfort. First, however, I must be willing to acknowledge my fears and understand their source and power over me. I frequently ask God to help me understand how I separate myself from Him.

Big Book Quote

“Thus we grow. And so can you, though you be but one man with this book in your hand. We believe and hope it contains all you will need to begin.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 162

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

If we’re going to stay sober, we’ve got to learn to want something else more than we want to drink. When we first came into A.A., we couldn’t imagine wanting any thing else so much or more than drinking. So we had to stop drinking on faith, on faith that some day we really would want some thing else more than drinking. But after we’ve been in A.A. for a while, we learn that a sober life can really be enjoyed. We learn how nice it is to get along well with our family, how nice it is to do our work well whether at home or outside how nice it is to try to help others. Have I found that when I keep sober, everything goes well for me?

Meditation for the Day

There is almost no work in life so hard as waiting. And yet God wants me to wait. All motion is easier than calm waiting, and yet I must wait until God shows me His will. So many people have marred their work and hindered the growth of their spiritual lives by too much activity. If I wait patiently, preparing myself always, I will be some day at the place where I would be. And much toil and activity could not have accomplished the journey so soon.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may wait patiently. I pray that I may trust God and keep preparing myself for a better life.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Divinely Led

Send me the right thought, word, or action. Show me what my next step should be. In times of doubt and indecision please send your inspiration and guidance.

—Alcoholics Anonymous

The good news of surrendering ourselves and our life to a Power greater than ourselves is that we come into harmony with a Grand Plan, one greater than we can imagine.

We are promised Divine Guidance if we ask for it if we work the Twelve Steps. What greater gift could we receive than knowing our thoughts, words, and actions are being directed?

We aren’t a mistake. And we don’t have to control or repress others or ourselves for life to work out. Even the strange, the unplanned, the painful, and those things we call errors can evolve into harmony.

We will be guided into understanding what we need to do to take care of ourselves. We will begin to trust our instincts, our feelings, and our thoughts. We will know when to go, to stop, and to wait. We will learn a great truth: the plan will happen in spite of us not because of us.

I pray today and each day that my thoughts, words, and actions may be Divinely led. I pray that I can move forward in confidence, knowing my steps are guided.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Too much agreement kills a chat.

—Eldridge Cleaver

Many of us haven’t learned there is room for disagreement in a relationship. Some men who grew up in addicted families saw a lot of pain, anger, and quarreling. Many learned to be always pleasing and agreeable, no matter how they felt. Others took it as a personal insult when someone disagreed with them.

We choke the vitality and excitement in our love relationships if we are too intent on avoiding conflict. Nothing can be resolved if we smooth everything over. Differences between people don’t just go away. If we don’t bring them out, they fester and create silent tension or boredom. If we willingly express our thoughts and feelings, we can learn how to resolve our disagreements and to appreciate each other for our differences as well as our similarities. If two people in a relationship were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.

Today, I will try to be more open about my differences with people, not as a way of fighting, but as a way of letting them know me better.

Elder’s Meditation

“Oh God! Like the Thunderbird of old I shall rise again out of the sea; I shall grab the instruments of the white man’s success – his education, his skills, and with these new tools I shall build my race into the proudest segment of your society.”

–Chief Dan George, SALISH

One thing the Indian people do well is adapt. This is why we survive. We must learn to keep our culture, but also to learn the good things that other races have to offer. Education is the future weapon of Native people. We must learn the legal system, health, science and engineering. Indian people have great contributions to make to the world. We need to educate ourselves so we can better protect the land and our children. Otherwise, we will lose the things and the land that we have.

Great Spirit, make me teachable today.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Leaning into your intellectual interests could help you build fulfilling relationships at this time. As the curious Moon in your philosophical 9th house complements innovative Uranus in your social sector, joining a club or study group is a good way to stimulate your brain. If the discussion wanders off-topic, that’s probably not a cause for concern! Connecting with your companions on a casual level may turn out to be the best part of coming together — keep your heart open as well as your mind.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 10, 2024

Daily Reflection

I DON’T RUN THE SHOW

When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn’t. What was our choice to be?

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 53

Today my choice is God. He is everything. For this I am truly grateful. When I think I am running the show I am blocking God from my life. I pray I can remember this when I allow myself to get caught up into self. The most important thing is that today I am willing to grow along spiritual lines, and that God is everything. When I was trying to quit drinking on my own, it never worked; with God and A.A., it is working. This seems to be a simple thought for a complicated alcoholic.

Big Book Quote

“What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 87~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Since I realized that I had become an alcoholic and could never have any more fun with liquor and since I knew that from then on liquor would always get me into trouble, common sense told me that the only thing left for me was a life of sobriety. But I learned another thing in A.A., the most important thing anyone can ever learn: that I could call on a Higher Power to help me keep away from liquor; that I could work with that Divine Principle in the universe; and that God would help me to live a sober, useful, happy life. So now I no longer care about the fact that I can never have any more fun with drinking. Have I learned that I am much happier without it?

Meditation for the Day

Like a tree, I must be pruned of a lot of dead branches before I will be ready to bear good fruit. Think of changed people as trees that have been stripped of their old branches, pruned, cut, and bare. But through the dark, seemingly dead branches flows silently, secretly, the new sap, until with the sun of spring comes new life. There are new leaves, buds, blossoms, and fruit, many times better because of the pruning. I am in the hands of a Master Gardener, who makes no mistakes in His pruning.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may cut away the dead branches of my life. I pray that I may not mind the pruning, since it helps me to bear good fruit later.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting Go of Sadness

A block to joy and love can be unresolved sadness from the past.

In the past, we told ourselves many things to deny the pain: It doesn’t hurt that much…. Maybe if I just wait, things will change…. It’s no big deal. I can get through this…. Maybe if I try to change the other person, I won’t have to change myself.

We denied that it hurt because we didn’t want to feel the pain.

Unfinished business doesn’t go away. It keeps repeating itself, until it gets our attention, until we feel it, deal with it, and heal. That’s one lesson we are learning in recovery from codependency and adult children issues.

Many of us didn’t have the tools, support, or safety we needed to acknowledge and accept pain in our past. It’s okay. We’re safe now. Slowly, carefully, we can begin to open ourselves up to our feelings. We can begin the process of feeling what we have denied so long – not to blame, not to shame, but to heal ourselves in preparation for a better life.

It’s okay to cry when we need to cry and feel the sadness many of us have stored within for so long. We can feel and release these feelings.

Grief is a cleansing process. It’s an acceptance process. It moves us from our past, into today, and into a better future – a future free of sabotaging behaviors, a future that holds more options than our past.

God, as I move through this day, let me be open to my feelings Today, help me know that I don’t have to either force or repress the healing available to me in recovery. Help me trust that if I am open and available, the healing will happen naturally, in a manageable way.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.

—Shunryu Suzuki

As we travel the path of recovery, we are sometimes overwhelmed by a feeling of how much we lack. It rises within us as a feeling of inadequacy, emptiness, or loneliness. We are in pain because we feel like such beginners. Now we need to discard our competitive thinking, our drive to be on top, and accept another, wiser, way of seeing. The big difference is in being on the path of recovery rather than lost on some diversion, as we have been in the past. It is not important how far along we are or who is ahead of whom. The important thing is that we are on the path and experiencing the process.

In recovery, wisdom comes with staying a beginner. Then we remain open to further learning. In some sense this program and our mutual powerlessness are the great levelers. Once on the path, we are all equals.

Today, I will appreciate my vulnerability. It keeps me spiritually alive and growing.

Elder’s Meditation

“The ground on which we stand is sacred ground. It is the dust and blood of our ancestors.”

–Plenty Coups, CROW

Mother Earth is the source of life and the place all life returns to. She gives us life. She feeds us through our journey and she waits for us to return to her. The Indian way is to recognize the earth as the place of our ancestors. That is why certain places on earth are considered sacred areas and sacred land; this is the place of our ancestors. We all need to reflect upon the earth, the place where our ancestors lived. We need to have love and respect for the earth.

My Creator, let me honor the place of our ancestors, Mother Earth.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Deciding how much personal information to share with your friends will potentially be difficult today. While candid Mercury in your intimacy zone stumbles over exaggerated Jupiter in your social 11th house, you may see the good in opening up and, simultaneously, the risk of things snowballing way out of hand. Turning to some formal code of ethics or etiquette could seem pedantic, but it might give you useful guidance. You’re probably not the only person who has ever struggled with this problem!

Daily Recovery Readings
February 9, 2024

Daily Reflection

GETTING THE “SPIRITUAL ANGLE”

How often do we sit in AA meetings and hear the speaker declare, “But I haven’t yet got the spiritual angle.” Prior to this statement, he had described a miracle of transformation which had occurred in him—not only his release from alcohol, but a complete change in his whole attitude toward life and the living of it. It is apparent to nearly everyone else present that he has received a great gift; “. . . except that he doesn’t seem to know it yet!” We well know that this questioning individual will tell us six months or a year hence that he has found faith in God.

— THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 275

A spiritual experience can be the realization that a life which once seemed empty and devoid of meaning is now joyous and full. In my life today, daily prayer and meditation, coupled with living the Twelve Steps, has brought about an inner peace and feeling of belonging which was missing when I was drinking.

Big Book Quote

“We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world’s troubles on our shoulders. When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 132

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

A.A. Thought For The Day

In the past, we kept right on drinking in spite of all the trouble we got into. We were foolish enough to believe that drinking could still be fun in spite of everything that happened to us. When we came into A.A., we found a lot of people who, like ourselves, had had fun with drinking, but who now admitted that liquor had become nothing but trouble for them. And when we found that this thing had happened to a lot of other people besides ourselves, we realized that perhaps we weren’t such odd ducks after all. Have I learned to admit that for me drinking has ceased to be fun and has become nothing but trouble?

Meditation For The Day

The lifeline, the line of rescue, is the line from the soul to God. On one end of the lifeline is our faith and on the other end is God’s power. It can be a strong line and no soul can be overwhelmed who is linked to God by it. I will trust in this lifeline and never be afraid. God will save me from doing wrong and from the cares and troubles of life. I will look to God for help and trust Him for aid when I am emotionally upset.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that no lack of trust or fearfulness will make me disloyal to God. I pray that I may keep a strong hold on the lifeline of faith.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don’t love you – they are saying they don’t love themselves.

–Codependent No More

Gentle people, gentle souls, go in love.

Yes, at times we need to be firm, assertive: those times when we change, when we acquire a new behavior, when we need to convince others and ourselves we have rights.

Those times are not permanent. We may need to get angry to make a decision or set a boundary, but we can’t afford to stay resentful. It is difficult to have compassion for one who is victimizing us, but once we’ve removed ourselves as victims, we can find compassion.

Our path, our way, is a gentle one, walked in love – love for self, love for others. Set boundaries. Detach. Take care of ourselves. And as quickly as possible, do those things in love.

Today, and whenever possible. God let me be gentle with others and myself. Help me find the balance between assertive action taken in my own best interests, and love for others. Help me understand that at times those two ideas are one. Help me find the right path for me.

Today I have the courage to follow my own inner voice that I hear in prayer and meditation. Today I dare to be true to myself and my own needs, whether anyone agrees with me or not.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be either good or evil.

–Hannah Arendt

How often have we found ourselves in a predicament and innocently saying, “How did I get into this?” When someone has been injured by our actions because we failed to think about them, do we take the responsibility? If a friend is unfairly treated on the job, do we take a stand for him? When we know people are starving, what do we do about it? When our loved ones say they are lonely and wish we would talk to them, how do we respond?

In this program we have chosen to live by our values. We cannot sit passively and fail to live up to those values. Each situation is different, so we must think about what is called for. When we do not think about our reactions, we are in danger of adding to the evil in the world. When we act upon our principles, we feel more hopeful and wholesome.

Today, I will be alert to the difference between good and evil in my actions. I pray for the strength to take a stand.

Elder’s Meditation

“It can be 100 degrees in the shade one afternoon and suddenly there comes a storm with hailstones as big as golf balls, the prairie is all white and your teeth chatter. That’s good – a reminder that you are just a small particle of nature, not so powerful as you think.”

–Lame Deer, LAKOTA

No event, no relationship, no joy, no sadness, no situation ever stays the same. Every setback is only temporary. Even setbacks change. Why? Because the Great Spirit designed the world to be constantly changing. We are not the center of the universe, we are but a small part. The whole is constantly changing, and we as humans are constantly participating in the change. We have two choices, to resist change or participate in the change. Every change can be resisted, and every change can be made in cooperation. What will I choose today, resistance or cooperation?

Great Spirit, teach me to make cooperative changes.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Opening up to a friend you trust could currently heal old wounds about authority figures. While the invigorating New Moon strikes in your 8th House of Intimacy, a disclosure of this sort can genuinely change the dynamics of your friendship. Perhaps you’ve had a more casual connection up to this point, but this conversation makes it clear that you’re capable of going deeper. Don’t get attached to things staying the same as they’ve always been — be open to what naturally unfolds.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 8, 2024

Daily Reflection

CONVINCING “MR. HYDE”

Even then, as we hew away, peace and joy may still elude us. That’s the place so many of us A.A. oldsters have come to. And it’s a hell of a spot, literally. How shall our unconscious—from which so many of our fears, compulsions, and phony aspirations still stream—be brought into line with what we actually believe, know, and want! How to convince our dumb, raging, and hidden “Mr. Hyde” becomes our main task.

— THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 237

Regular attendance at meetings, serving and helping others is the recipe that many have tried and found to be successful. Whenever I stray from these basic principles, my old habits resurface and my old self also comes back with all its fears and defects. The ultimate goal of each A.A. member is permanent sobriety, achieved One Day at a Time.

Big Book Quote

“Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom. Many an alcoholic who entered there came away with an answer. He succumbed to that gay crowd inside, who laughed at their own misfortunes and understood his. Impressed by those who visited him at the hospital, he capitulated entirely when, later, in an upper room of this house, he heard the story of some man whose experience closely tallied with his own. The expression on the faces of the women, that indefinable something in the eyes of the men, the stimulating and electric atmosphere of the place, conspired to let him know that here was haven at last.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 160

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

When the morning sun comes up on a nice bright day and we jump out of bed, we’re thankful to God that we feel well and happy instead of sick and disgusted. Serenity and happiness have become much more important to us than the excitement of drinking, which lifts us up for a short while, but lets us way down in the end. Of course, all of us alcoholics had a lot of fun with drinking. We might as well admit it. We can look back on a lot of good times, before we became alcoholics. But the time comes for all of us alcoholics when drinking ceases to be fun and becomes trouble. Have I learned that drinking can never again be anything but trouble for me?

Meditation for the Day

I must rely on God. I must trust Him to the limit. I must depend on the Divine Power in all human relationships. I will wait and trust and hope, until God shows me the way. I will wait for guidance on each important decision. I will meet the test of waiting until a thing seems right before I do it. Every work for God must meet this test of time. The guidance will come, if I wait for it.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may meet the test of waiting for God’s guidance. I pray that I will not go off on my own.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting Go of Guilt

Feeling good about ourselves is a choice. So is feeling guilty. When guilt is legitimate, it acts as a warning light, signaling that we’re off course. Then its purpose is finished.

Wallowing in guilt allows others to control us. It makes us feel not good enough. It prevents us from setting boundaries and taking other healthy action to care for ourselves.

We may have learned to habitually feel guilty as an instinctive reaction to life. Now we know that we don’t have to feel guilty. Even if we’ve done something that violates a value, extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem. So make an amend. Change a behavior. Then let guilt go.

Today, God, help me to become entirely ready to let go of guilt. Please take it from me, and replace it with self-love.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

If the best man’s faults were written on his forehead, it would make him pull his hat over his eyes.

—Gaelic proverb

When we deal with our faults and imperfections, we are dealing with the basic issues of being a person. We can become bitter and cynical about the imperfections of others, or we can realize every person is incomplete but growing, just as we are. The way we look at the faults in others and the way we look at our own are closely tied together. In our spiritual journey, we must begin with the premise that no person ever achieves perfection.

Perfection apparently is not what this life is about at all, since perfection is nonexistent. We are lovable, and we can love in the process of living our lives. Since we are not perfect, we have to be accountable. We must have standards for our behavior and hold ourselves to those standards, admitting our mistakes and making repairs where we can.

I will try to acknowledge my mistakes and give up the idea of ever becoming perfect.

Elder’s Meditation

“No individual or group can block another individual’s path or change it against what fits his nature and his purpose. It might be done for a time, but in the end it won’t work out.”

–Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

Every person is born for a purpose. We may know our purpose very early in our lives, or it may take us some time. Very often we need to experience many things before our purpose is clear to us. Sometimes we pick our goals to please others. Sometimes others pick our goals to make themselves happy. Often this makes us unhappy. We need to pray to the Creator and ask Him what our purpose is. When we live outside our purpose, our path is full of obstacles. When we live inside our purpose, our path is smooth. When we are aligned to our purpose, we are happy and content.

Great Spirit, whisper to me, in terms I can understand, what You would have me do and I will do it.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Conflict in a close relationship may leave you confused about your next moves. Should you dig deeper into your bond or come up for air? Both approaches are probably necessary to some extent. While the vibrant Sun in your intimacy zone conflicts with unpredictable Uranus in your social sector, you’ll have to be careful when you choose a confidant due to privacy issues. That said, the right outside perspective should give you effective strategies for unsnarling any situation with another companion.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 7, 2024

Daily Reflection

True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

My last drunk had landed me in the hospital, totally broken. It was then that I was able to see my past float in front of me. I realized that, through drinking, I had lived every nightmare I had ever had. My own self-will and obsession to drink had driven me into a dark pit of hallucinations, blackouts and despair. Finally beaten, I asked for God’s help. His presence told me to believe. My obsession for alcohol was taken away and my paranoia has since been lifted. I am no longer afraid. I know my life is healthy and sane.

Big Book Quote

“Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they are very ill.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 89~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

A nightclub crowded with men and women all dressed up in evening clothes looks like a very gay place. But you should see the men’s room of that nightclub the next morning. What a mess! People have been sick all over the place and does it smell! The glamour of the night before is all gone and only the stink of the morning after is left. In A.A., we learn to take a long view of drinking instead of a short view. We learn to think less about the pleasure of the moment and more about the consequences. Has the night before become less important to me and the morning after more important?

Meditation for the Day

Only a few more steps and then God’s power shall be seen and known in my life. I am now walking in darkness, surrounded by the limitations of space and time. But even in this darkness, I can have faith and can be a light to guide feet that are afraid. I believe that God’s power will break through the darkness and my prayers will pierce even to the ears of God Himself. But only a cry from the heart, a trusting cry, ever pierces that darkness and reaches to the divine ear of God.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that the divine power of God will help my human weakness. I pray that my prayer may reach through the darkness to the ear of God.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Owning Our Power

We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.

The first step in recovery is accepting powerlessness. There are some things we can’t do, no matter how long or hard we try. These things include changing other people, solving their problems, and controlling their behavior. Sometimes, we feel powerless over ourselves – what we feel or believe, or the effects of a particular situation or person on us.

It’s important to surrender to powerlessness, but it’s equally important to own our power. We aren’t trapped. We aren’t helpless. Sometimes it may feel like we are, but we aren’t. We each have the God-given power, and the right, to take care of ourselves in any circumstance, and with any person. The middle ground of self-care lies between the two extremes of controlling others and allowing them to control us. We can walk that ground gently or assertively, but in confidence that it is our right and responsibility.

Let the power come to walk that path.

Today, I will remember that I can take care of my self. I have choices, and I can exercise the options I choose without guilt.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

We cannot merely pray to You, 0 God, to end war;
For we know that You have made the world in a way
That man must find his own path to peace
Within himself and with his neighbor.

—Jack Riemer

Our conscious contact with God can be called prayer. There are many forms of prayer for a man in this program. For some of us it may take the form of talking to God; for others it may be silent meditation, observing nature, listening to music, or writing in a journal.

We have experienced the healing effect of this relationship. It has allowed us to move out of our willfulness. But we need to take action where we can make a difference. We cannot blame God for every bad thing that happens – or simply wait for God to provide all the good we want. Do we see the power we do have to influence our lives? Can we give up our resentments against God for bad things that have happened?

I am grateful for what God has given me and more aware of what I can do.

Elder’s Meditation

“I can tell you that understanding begins with love and respect. It begins with respect for the Great Spirit. All things – and I mean ALL things – have their own will and their own way and their own purpose; this is what is to be respected.”

–Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

Everything on earth has a purpose and is designed special. No two things are created identical. Sometimes in our minds we have a picture of how things should be, and often what we see is different from what they really are. When this happens we often want to control how things are, making them act or behave according to our picture. We need to leave things alone. God is running all things. How do we do this? In our minds we tell ourselves to love all things and respect all things just as they are. Accept what we cannot change.

Great Spirit, teach me the value of respect and help me to accept people, places and things just as they are.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Finding meaning in a painful experience could be a compelling pursuit for you now. A candid conversation with a friend has the potential to shift your perspective. However, not every big idea out there will be the one that resonates with you personally — and some may even offend you. If your companion makes a claim that rubs you the wrong way, say so rather than seething to yourself. No matter how good their intentions are, they’re better off knowing how they sound.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 6, 2024

Daily Reflection

A RALLYING POINT

Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand together on this Step.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

I feel that A.A. is a God-inspired program and that God is at every A.A. meeting. I see, believe, and have come to know that A.A. works, because I have stayed sober today. I am turning my life over to A.A. and to God by going to an A.A. meeting. If God is in my heart and everyone else’s, then I am a small part of a whole and I am not unique. If God is in my heart and He speaks to me through other people, then I must be a channel of God to other people. I should seek to do His will by living spiritual principles and my reward will be sanity and emotional sobriety.

Big Book Quote

“God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But
obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 164~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

On a dark night, the bright lights of the corner tavern look mighty inviting. Inside, there seems to be warmth and good cheer. But we don’t stop to think that if we go in there we’ll probably end up drunk, with our money spent and an awful hangover. A long mahogany bar in the tropical moonlight looks like a very gay place. But you should see the place the next morning. The chairs are piled on the tables and the place stinks of stale beer and cigarette stubs. And often we are there too, trying to cure the shakes by gulping down straight whiskey. Can I look straight through the night before and see the morning after?

Meditation for the Day

God finds, amid the crowd, a few people who follow Him, just to be near Him, just to dwell in His presence. A longing in the Eternal Heart may be satisfied by these few people. I will let God know that I seek just to dwell in His presence, to be near Him, not so much for teaching or a message, as just for Him. It may be that the longing of the human heart to be loved for itself is something caught from the Great Divine Heart.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have a listening ear, so that God may speak to me. I pray that I may have a waiting heart, so that God may come to me.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Stopping Victimization

Before recovery, many of us lacked a frame of reference with which to name the victimization and abuse in our life. We may have thought it was normal that people mistreated us. We may have believed we deserved mistreatment; we may have been attracted to people who mistreated us.

We need to let go, on a deep level, of our need to be victimized and to be victims. We need to let go of our need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems at work, in love, in family relationships, in friendships. We deserve better. We deserve much better. It is our right. When we believe in our right to happiness, we will have happiness.

We will fight for that right, and the fight will emerge from our souls. Break free from oppression and victimization.

Today, I will liberate myself by letting go of my need to be a victim, and I’ll explore my freedom to take care of myself. That liberation will not take me further away from people I love. It will bring me closer to people and more in harmony with God’s plan for my life.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Behind an able man there are always other able men.

—Chinese proverb

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to “do it ourselves.” We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven’t learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.

In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other’s strength.

Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.

Elder’s Meditation

“We hold on to our otuhan, our give-aways, because they help us to remain Indians.”

–Lame Deer, LAKOTA

Our traditional communities and villages function on interdependence. Share the deer and give freely of what you have to another. Another way to express this principle is, it’s better to give than to receive. To share what you have eliminates complexity. The Elders say, live a simple life. One of the principles in the Unseen World is, the more you give, the more you get. You can become a channel for abundance for your family, tribe, or community. A giving person sets up a flow or replacement. Whatever you share will be returned to you in an amount equal or greater. The Indian way is for everyone to give to another, thus the community wins.

Great Spirit, today, teach me the principle of giving. Let me be Your channel of abundance.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

A friend may currently guide you toward some needed perspective on your political or spiritual beliefs. You don’t necessarily have to abandon the main tenets that provide structure to your life, but there could be a less restrictive way of viewing the details as the compassionate Moon in your relationship zone trines expansive Jupiter in your visionary 11th house. A judgmental attitude, no matter how well-intentioned, usually doesn’t help you connect with others — do your best to appreciate their humanity instead.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 5, 2024

Daily Reflection

A GLORIOUS RELEASE

“The minute I stopped arguing, I could begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now. To acquire it, I had only to stop fighting and practice the rest of A.A.’s program as enthusiastically as I could.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27

After years of indulging in a “self-will run riot,” Step Two became for me a glorious release from being all alone. Nothing is so painful or insurmountable in my journey now. Someone is always there to share life’s burdens with me. Step Two became a reinforcement with God, and I now realize that my insanity and ego were curiously linked. To rid myself of the former, I must give up the latter to one with far broader shoulders than my own.

Big Book Quote

“If we skip this vital step (5th Step), we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 72~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

One thing we learn in A.A. is to take a long view of drinking instead of a short view. When we were drinking we thought more about the pleasure or release that a drink would give us than we did about the consequences that would result from our taking that drink. Liquor looks good from the short view. When we look in a package store window, we see liquor dressed up in its best wrappings, with fancy labels and decorations. They look swell. But have I learned that what’s inside those beautiful bottles is just plain poison to me?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that life is a school in which I must learn spiritual things. I must trust in God and He will teach me. I must listen to God and He will speak through my mind. I must commune with Him in spite of all opposition and every obstacle. There will be days when I will hear no voice in my mind and when there will come no intimate heart to heart communion. But if I persist, and make a life habit of schooling myself in spiritual things, God will reveal Himself to me in many ways.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may regularly go to school in things of the spirit. I pray that I may grow spiritually by making a practice of these things.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Financial Responsibility

We are responsible for ourselves financially.

What a frightening, grown up thought that is for many of us – taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade off in our relationships.

Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we’re seeking in recovery.

Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?

Taxes… savings plans…appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility…. Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.

Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.

God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Show me the lessons I need to learn about money.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The human animal needs a freedom seldom mentioned: freedom from intrusion. He needs a little privacy quite as much as he wants understanding or vitamins or exercise or praise.

—Phyllis McGinley

The boundaries between us in our families and our friendships often need to be reshaped in recovery. We need to know our feelings are private. We reveal them at our choosing, with whom we choose. We give up on mind reading or probing because it intrudes upon another’s privacy. We actively engage in our relationships by sharing ourselves and listening to each other.

A secret that makes a relationship dishonest is destructive and ought to be told. But we cannot force another person to be honest, or pry the truth from a loved one. We can only be honest ourselves and guard our own right to privacy. Intimacy is the bridge, which is built between two separate people. Only when we let others have their privacy and we take ours can our relationships be more intimate.

I will maintain the boundaries of my privacy today and respect the right of others to do the same.

Elder’s Meditation

“Let the person I serve express his thanks according to his own bringing up and his sense of humor.”

–Charles A. Eastman (Ohiyesa), SANTEE SIOUX

“It is better to give than receive.” But it doesn’t really matter if we are giving or receiving. There is an identical feeling associated with both. We get this feeling every time we receive. We can’t control when we receive gifts but we can control when we give gifts. Therefore, the more we give, the better we feel. When we are given gifts, or someone does something for us, it is the Indian way to honor this person.

Great Spirit, let me honor and be respectful to those who are good to me today.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may need to rock the boat to move a close relationship out of a recent rut. Due to amiable Venus in your partnership zone conflicting with wounded Chiron in your ambitious 10th house, a shared goal is likely weighing on you, but the other person might not be happy to discuss it. No matter how uncomfortable it is at first, this is an opportunity to build deeper intimacy between the two of you. You could ultimately get what you want by making this effort.

Daily Recovery Readings
February 4, 2024

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Daily Reflection

WHEN FAITH IS MISSING

Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have tried faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.

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Big Book Quote

“We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about the others’ alcoholic troubles. This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Among us, these are rare occurrences. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 125~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Treating others to drinks gave us a kind of satisfaction. We liked to say, “Have a drink on me.” But we were not really doing the other people a favor. We were only helping them to get drunk, especially if they happened to be alcoholic. In A.A., we really try to help other alcoholics. We build them up instead of tearing them down. Drinking created a sort of fellowship. But it really was a false fellowship, because it was based on selfishness. We used our drinking companions for our own pleasure. In A.A., we have real fellowship, based on unselfishness and a desire to help each other. And we make real friends, not fair weather friends. With sobriety, have I got everything that drinking’s got, without the headaches?

Meditation for the Day

I know that God cannot teach anyone who is trusting in a crutch. I will throw away the crutch of alcohol and walk in God’s power and spirit. God’s power will so invigorate me that I shall indeed walk on to victory. There is never any limit to God’s power. I will go step by step, one day at a time. God’s will shall be revealed to me as I go forward.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have more and more dependence on God. I pray that I may throw away my alcoholic crutch and let God’s power take its place.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Enjoying Recovery

What a journey!

This process of growth and change takes us along an ever-changing road. Sometimes the way is hard and craggy. Sometimes we climb mountains. Sometimes we slide down the other side on a toboggan.

Sometimes we rest.

Sometimes we grope through the darkness. Sometimes we’re blinded by sunlight.

At times many may walk with us on the road; sometimes we feel nearly alone.

Ever changing, always interesting, always leading someplace better, someplace good.

What a journey!

Today, God, help me relax and enjoy the scenery. Help me know I’m right where I need to be on my journey.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.

—Carlos Castaneda

Were we offended by someone today? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.

Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn’t matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position, which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.

How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better men, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals. I will accept others’ imperfections; I do not need to be right.

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Elder’s Meditation

“We say there is a right time and place for everything. It’s easy to say, but hard to understand. You have to live it to understand it.”

–Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

The Elders tell us there is a right time and a right place. Don’t plant seeds in the fall – wrong time. One way we find out about the right time and right place is our experience. If we are lucky, we have a few friends who will share their experience; this will help us too. The best way is to let God guide us. Only He knows the right time and the right place. So we need to pray and ask Him for guidance.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You might feel trapped in your daily routine. Although travel or other exciting plans may not be realistic at the moment, perhaps changing how you share responsibilities with someone else would make you more comfortable in the meantime. While the perceptive Moon in your 6th House of Duty picks up on subconscious Pluto in your sharing sector, you’re equipped to detect the deeper dynamics involved in the situation. Find a solution that works for both of you rather than against anyone.