My Special Two (Cats Update)

It seems like I had my two children (cats) all my life as our lives begin to normalize. Still have ups and downs every once in a while. As we observe each other, we begin to learn our different personalities. This decision will be on the top of my best of all time.

It hasn’t even been two weeks yet the kids and I are down to a regular schedule. Despite my inconsistent work schedule (part-time) and working during the night (overnight/third/graveyard shift) we have adjusted quite well. They know my routine expecting certain things are certain times (i.e. ‘Yum Yums’ or food when I wake up and when I come home from work). I also know what to expect of them. For instance, they are full of energy, rowdy and mischievous when they wake up or I come home from work. But after a while they calm down after expelling all the energy. Then its time for one on ones (tummy rubs and lovings). After all is said and done, they do what most cats do – nap.

They have learned the do’s and do not’s in the house very well. But every once and a while, I’ll hear, “Thump…..yelp!….meow”. In my mind, the whole world has ended and I call out, “What did you do now?” Usually I come up to one or both of them sprawled on the ground looking up at me with sad eyes. Yet every now and then (like jumping on the kitchen counter or stove) I still have to use a strong voice with a simple, “No or Down”.

Big Boy is the boss, Little One tends to do much of what Big Boy does. It’s nice to see them get along playing with each other like little children. But when Little One has had enough of Big Boy she let’s him know it. Just a quite swipe of the paw and Big Boy’s running. But Little One still tends to by shy and timid. On the other hand, Big Boy wants everything himself. First food dish down, his or he’s eating the other one while I’m putting the second one down. When I get home from work, I can hardly walk in the front door because I have a giant fluff ball going in and out of my legs. Lately, Big Boy has been sleeping with me, loudly purring and licking my face to announce his presence. There are just so many things between the two of them – they are really do adorable.

When I first saw their pictures posted on Facebook my impulsive thinking turned on instead of my taking a breath and really thinking about this decision. But once I typed a response, I accepted what the future consequences were going to be. But in the end, my happiness in life has grown exponentially since they have come into my life. A co-worker brought a smile to my face saying, “Something has changed. You look more happy now. It’s the kids, isn’t it!” I am, 150%.

RIP Heart

 

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RIP Heart 1998 – 2017

 

I had known Heart for almost ten years before I began to take care of her. Her owner, my ex-sponsor, said he couldn’t care for both his cats anymore. I was in the process of moving, so I told my ex-sponsor I would take Heart with me. I moved Heart to my house in July 2017.

It was a difficult decision because she would be taken away from her sister, Sassy. It was also a long drive to my home. Lastly, my work schedule is so erratic I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to spend a lot of time with her. Despite these difficulties, I took her home and shared the last months of her life.

She was supposedly 19 years old, according to my ex-sponsor. Her sister has a range of medical problems in the last year. We thought that Sassy would pass away first, then Heart. Instead, it was the other way around. The bond between them is strong, so we both believe now that Heart has passed, Sassy will deteriorate quickly and pass away too.

In the last month, she gave me a scare. She began not drinking and eating. Then she developed wheezing. People were saying it could be a urinary tract infection while others were telling me it could be a simple cold.  The consensus was to take to a vet.

She was 19 years old, so I chose not to do so. She got better shortly after, so I spent more time with her. I knew that her passing would be soon. She started to not eat and drink four days ago; no matter what I put in front of her, she just walked away. The wheezing returned obstructing her breathing. I knew this was the time.

The previous episode I had already given her all my love and comfort. She knew this as she continued to stay by my side until the end. Yesterday, she sat right by her bed, unable to move but would pick up her head to drink some water. It ripped my heart I had to work but I couldn’t stand to watch her pass away. I didn’t know when it would happen, I just knew this was the last day I would see her.

When I got home from work the house was completely silent. She didn’t greet me at the door. I knew what had happened. You can never be prepared.

Even now as I write this the tears continue to flow down my cheeks. I am heartbroken beyond words. The house is silent. Memories, good memories just keep coming up tearing my heart. I can hardly function. I keep rolling back to her picture above, talking to her as if she is here. I miss her deeply. A part of me went with her and forever I will be changed.

Losing a Loved One

We all experience loss of those we love. Whether it’s heart_20170709a parent, grandparent or another family member even pets. Many have lived their life to the fullest, as in my case. Heart, my cat I’ve had since July, is in the final stages of her life. It’s heart-wrenching to watch but I know it’s time.

A lot of tears are flowing down my cheeks since I was awakened to her cold nose rubbing against mine. Heart, my cat, never does that in the morning. Usually, it’s a cry or howl, “Hey I want to be fed.” But as soon as I realized she had shortness of breath, I knew it wouldn’t be much longer.

She now rests near me in her final moments; her breathing is getting shallower and she hasn’t moved. I have told her how much I love her and will miss her, stroking her side lightly through the process. While this is a heart-wrenching process to watch, its not something I’m unfamilar with as a Certified Nursing Assistant. But when it’s one of your own, it is much harder.

I have chosen to stay by her side for comfort. My employer has already been called out of respect for my fellow employees (who honesty I don’t give a rats ass about right now). I want her to know how much I love her and it’s okay to go. With a little whip of her tail, I know she is comforted.

I am heart-broken right now, knowing her life is close to an end. It’s painful. But would drinking help relieve my pain? No, not at all. It would just make matters worse. I could drink myself to my own death, pass out and miss her final moments or be completely selfish and be in my own world of drunkedness.

Today, I’m grateful to be by her side – sober.