Tag: happiness

My Special Two (Cats Update)

On By mikeykjrIn Kitty LogLeave a comment

It seems like I had my two children (cats) all my life as our lives begin to normalize. Still have ups and downs every once in a while. As we observe each other, we begin to learn our different personalities. This decision will be on the top of my best of all time.

It hasn’t even been two weeks yet the kids and I are down to a regular schedule. Despite my inconsistent work schedule (part-time) and working during the night (overnight/third/graveyard shift) we have adjusted quite well. They know my routine expecting certain things are certain times (i.e. ‘Yum Yums’ or food when I wake up and when I come home from work). I also know what to expect of them. For instance, they are full of energy, rowdy and mischievous when they wake up or I come home from work. But after a while they calm down after expelling all the energy. Then its time for one on ones (tummy rubs and lovings). After all is said and done, they do what most cats do – nap.

They have learned the do’s and do not’s in the house very well. But every once and a while, I’ll hear, “Thump…..yelp!….meow”. In my mind, the whole world has ended and I call out, “What did you do now?” Usually I come up to one or both of them sprawled on the ground looking up at me with sad eyes. Yet every now and then (like jumping on the kitchen counter or stove) I still have to use a strong voice with a simple, “No or Down”.

Big Boy is the boss, Little One tends to do much of what Big Boy does. It’s nice to see them get along playing with each other like little children. But when Little One has had enough of Big Boy she let’s him know it. Just a quite swipe of the paw and Big Boy’s running. But Little One still tends to by shy and timid. On the other hand, Big Boy wants everything himself. First food dish down, his or he’s eating the other one while I’m putting the second one down. When I get home from work, I can hardly walk in the front door because I have a giant fluff ball going in and out of my legs. Lately, Big Boy has been sleeping with me, loudly purring and licking my face to announce his presence. There are just so many things between the two of them – they are really do adorable.

When I first saw their pictures posted on Facebook my impulsive thinking turned on instead of my taking a breath and really thinking about this decision. But once I typed a response, I accepted what the future consequences were going to be. But in the end, my happiness in life has grown exponentially since they have come into my life. A co-worker brought a smile to my face saying, “Something has changed. You look more happy now. It’s the kids, isn’t it!” I am, 150%.

Just Today

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings, PersonalLeave a comment

In Alcoholic’s Anonymous we talk about, “One Day at A Time”. That phrase kept me sober for a long time the last time. I have been living such since I began my new journey. Sometimes, as of late, I get overwhelmed with sobriety; I feel like I’m doing to much. But my past experience shows me if I get farther away from AA, I will drink. Again, another slogan, “Keep it Simple” comes to mind. Here is an example.

Yesterday is written in stone; I can’t change what happened yesterday. Tomorrow is not here; anything can happen tomorrow, whether I want it to or not, so why worry about it. When I concentrate on just today, what I need to do to stay sober, life tends to run more smoothly.

Last week, my Sponsor and I completed Step 7, Step 8 and Step 9. Step 7, I did alone, asking my Higher Power to “remove shortcomings”. For a long time I didn’t know what it meant by “shortcomings”. I later learned, it simply means those defects of character (on Step 4) that can be removed quickly. I trust my Higher Power will do that, when I’m ready, while other defects may take longer, even a lifetime. Step 8, I made my amends list based on my list in Step 4 (moral inventory) and talked with my Sponsor about how I was going make my amends to such people. Step 9, making those amends, may not happen all at once. It may take years or they may never happen and I may have to find an alternative way (“a living amend”) to make such amends.

If you’ve been following me, I use the following analogy to explain the steps:

Think of the 12 Steps as a house; we are relearned to rebuild our lives. Steps 1 through Step 3, is our foundation; if we do not have a solid foundation or there is a crack in it, our house is going to fall down (relapse). Step 4 through Step 9 is like building a new frame, getting new plumping and electrical, etc.; we have looked at our part in our past, recognize we have faults (defects of character), but are willing to “set things right” (amends). Lastly, Step 10 through Step 12, we put on a new roof, fill our house with new things (new behaviors) and open the front door for others to come in (sponsorship and helping others).

With that in mind, I talked to my Sponsor about sponsoring others. We both felt confident at this point in time I was ready. Our recovery community is small with a halfway house, so those willing or who can sponsor are extremely limited. The point is I would not be only helping myself but helping others which ideally is in part what Alcoholics Anonymous is all about – “Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve sobriety (AA Preamble)”. Lastly, once I put that out there, I already have an individual to sponsor.

The “community” has asked that a person with six months sobriety or more chair meetings. A majority of those with long term sobriety attend meetings in surrounding areas but do occasionally, some regularly, drop in but they have no interest in chairing the meeting. Then there are those who have more than six months, who just don’t want to chair meetings – period. It’ s becoming a regular schedule for me to chair, on average, of four meetings a week. Unfortunately, I can’t get any relief. Two groups are part of my home group (Wednesday and Saturday), one group I started two months ago (Friday night) and Sunday night people tend to insist if no one else runs it, I do it even grudgingly. However, it honestly gives me time to sit, listen and reflect (relax in a way) of where I’ve been and where I am now. In a way its my time out but can be overwhelming responsibility if I let it get to that point.

We also had a local AA District business meeting this past weekend. I volunteered for two positions. The district website and the registrar. Neither are overwhelming, if I choose not to overwhelm myself. For instance, the website hasn’t been updated in a while. My own selfishness wants to bring everything up to date. Really? If anything, what are two things most important to a person who visits an AA website? One, a list of local meetings. Two, local recovery events. In all honesty, the rest of the information on the website doesn’t matter to most visitors (it shows in the statistics). There is no need to overhaul or change it – this is what “I” want to do, my own selfishness. Instead, I need to concentrate on being useful to others.

*** Break time – went to meeting and guess who chaired – LOL **

The point to my whole rambling is as an addict I could complicate all this like the cliche, “Making a mountain out of a molehill”. It is only through my experiences, if I do can become insane. Instead, I take one thing, one day at a time. What really is important is my sobriety today? Keeping things simple in my life instead of living in a chaotic mess. With that comes much gratitude. I can enjoy the little things in life – my new freedom and happiness.