Tag: minimalist

Reflection (The Big Move)

On By mikeykjrIn PersonalLeave a comment

It’s been almost 30 days since I moved from a small town in Upstate New York to even a smaller village (1500+, 2010 census). There was a lot of apprehension at first. But as time went by I trusted all things would work out. Despite my complete solitude of “living in the sticks”, I absolutely believe I made the second best decision of my life.

I had some fear, whether I expressed it or not, about moving. The worry was whether or not I could really afford such a place because part of me felt I was only fooling myself. Thus, I had/have another fear in a few months I would have to move again. At this stage, I don’t think such events are going to transpire. Keeping a positive outlook certainly, helps.

In addition, I have learned minimizing (or the minimalist lifestyle) is actually working for me. There is a bunch of stuff in the front bedroom. Most of it needs to be moved in its respective places. For instance, all the computer equipment, fitness weights, and filing cabinet should be moved to the room I”m occupying. But I don’t want to clutter the room I’m living in because I enjoy the space.

While I still don’t have furniture, it still feels like home. Most of my time is spent in the kitchen, one bedroom, and laundry room/bathroom. Some have asked, “Why a three bedroom for a bachelor like yourself?” One bedroom is where I’ll sleep, wh ile another is going to be my computer/spiritual/fitness room. The third bedroom (in the very far future) will be set up for a guest to visit.

I still don’t have financial control over everything. Since I just moved in I’m paying partial bills, so doing so does frustrate me a bit. I haven’t visited a grocery store for ONE big trip and then making little trips for other things; I just don’t have the money set aside for a big grocery trip yet. However, I have saved significantly on gas for my car. The last full tank of gas was almost a week ago instead of every two to three days. I’ve even cut down on smoking. Since I only smoke in my car or at work, one pack of cigarettes can last two or even three days. It’s just going to take time and I have to be patient.

While there are a few fears left (i.e. what happens if I need my car fixed, I can’t afford this or that, I lose my job, etc.), they don’t bother me too much.  Instead, they tend to creep up but fade away rather quickly. To be honest, it also gets very dark since there is the one street lamp on the other side of the road at night. My front porch light blew out during a rain storm. Therefore at night, I get a little nervous. But everyone else doesn’t have one single light on, so I have to trust something won’t happen. These things will subside in time.

I just absolutely love the solitude. It’s not that I’m anti-social or isolating. I think this time in my life is a period of reflection and spiritual growth. Since I’ve finally left the rat race of the city/town, I can dedicate some full time to the spiritual side of me, which lately is really lacking. I have set a special date which my daily routine will begin.

All is good in the country, despite my solitude from the rest of the world.

 

 

Ready to Take a Hike

On By mikeykjrIn PersonalLeave a comment

For those who are active readers here – NO, this does NOT relate to my sobriety. My sobriety, despite the constant “issues” at work, is quite intact. What I’m feeling is the greatest pull toward something new I’ve ever felt in my life. I’m ready to take a hike, move on with my life.

My lease was signed for my new place where I’m moving on June 6, 2017. I recently received a copy in the mail. I got a little nervous because it took so long but those nerves subsided when the landlord said his secretary was on vacation. Looking at this signed lease in front of me just makes me want to pack up and go!

Basically, I’m starting over. Like I said before, I have a couple goals in mind. One is that of a minimalistic lifestyle. Removing all the material things in my life causing clutter is already working. I’m more peaceful and content.

On the other hand, my brain wants to compound itself with projects upon projects of new things to do (and possibly buy). Right now I have to remind myself the “One Day at a Time ” methodology; I haven’t even moved into the new place, so why worry about what I may need, will I be able to afford it, etc. Worrying about something not happening yet can put me on a path I’d rather not go down.

I’m only moving some personal items. For instance, my computers will all go with me. I still have to figure out which monitors work. Once that’s done, I have to visit the city landfill to properly dispose of them. Once at the new residence, I’m planning on backing up information to an external drive and starting over on all my machines.

Since I’m working most of the time (wearing scrubs), there is no need to bring all my clothes but a select few of outfits. Typically when I’m at home, I’m in sweats and a t-shirt. I do have to remember to bring some seasonal clothing too! Perhaps an outfit or two, a jacket for winter, gloves and such. Besides, I won’t be smoking at the new place. My current selection looks and smells disgusting, so I’ll be glad to either throw it away or donate to my favorite charity, the Salvation Army (bad sarcasm).

Currently, I don’t really cook for myself. Fast-food dining is my life blood. Once I move, I will have to cook much more often, thus a new experience. Already, I have worried friends, “Michael, you’re going to starve yourself. Let me know if I can help you . . .”

I will be moving no furniture. I’ll be sleeping on a blow-up mattress until such time I can afford a real bed again. Bedroom furniture and living room furniture will come in its own time. Honestly, a beanbag or cushion on the floor is good for me!

Seriously, that’s it. A couple road trips back and forth, then it’s done.

It reminds me of my youth when I moved out of my parent’s house back in the late 1980’s. I didn’t have anything. yet over the years, I accumulated what I needed, when I needed it and more. This is something I’m going to strive to change.

What I want to change is my perception of “what I need”. With a steady job, a car for transportation, a roof over my head and food on the table, there isn’t much more. It’s going to be a struggle, like any new experience. I will have battles within myself when the compulsion comes over to buy something when I really don’t need it. That is the challenge and I accept it.

I guess I can’t explain my (overly?) excitement of this new adventure. Everything happening right now feels right. It feels fresh, new and exciting. I can’t wait to go, go, go. Perhaps

Perhaps this does relate to my sobriety in that I’m fulfilling a promise. The most important of them all:

“We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.“

 

 

Adopting the Minimalist Lifestyle

On By mikeykjrIn PersonalLeave a comment

minimalism-min

Most of my life, both in active addiction and recovery, I have stockpiled crap. During my active addiction, it was like another obsession, “I could always use this later . . . ” However, during my sobriety, its more on the lines of, “I don’t want to lose this . . .” With my pending move to a new home, I’ve decided to adopt a new minimalist lifestyle. As Step 12 suggests, “. . . , practicing these principles in all our affairs.”

First, I put a twist on the most common slogan, “One Day at a Time”. In this case, taking the monumental task of just one section of the current home. After reading hundreds of articles on a minimalist lifestyle, I finally got my arse up away from the computer to tackle the walk in closet.

I took a tape measure out from a toolset (one I’ve never opened) measuring the space to be approximately 5 feet deep by 7.5 feet tall. It was stacked with stuff about 4 feet. Bags of JUNK from front to back. There are old computer parts (printers, screens, misc., etc.) and bags of unknown origins. So I took the most difficult step for me – throwing it all away. While some of it sits in the front room, a quarter of it sits in my car ready to be hauled to a willing commercial trash can.

It was a difficult task. Part of me, the new me, didn’t want to bother looking into the bag. If I didn’t know what it was – trash pile. On the other hand, there were strong impulses to go through each bag, “Just in case, you may need something . . .” It reminded me of my early days of sobriety. So, I adopted the same principles like I do in my sobriety:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol the compulsion to save things –that our lives had become unmanageable.

Like in sobriety, I admit complete defeat. My Gods, I’ve buried my Self in a pile of JUNK over 4 feet high! Why? Because of my fear of losing things in my life again. I’m accepting the truth of the situation. I don’t and can’t live this way anymore. There is no need. I’m attempting to hold on to material things which, in reality, have no meaning in my life anymore. They are just things. I should no longer fear losing everything. I have to let it go!

Already, I have a sense of relief and sadness. I’m relieved the task if over. It’s been years, day after day, I told myself I would get rid of everything. Now the junk is out on the floor and ready to go! It’s like writing Step 1 on paper. Yet, part of me feels sad I’m throwing a part of my life away. Am I? Perhaps I’m not “throwing a part of my life” but simply “closing another chapter in my life, getting ready to write a new one”!

I made a promise to myself of change. I”m moving to a brand new place with the absolute minimum. It’s like writing a new chapter in my life on a blank page. I’m actually excited. I don’t know what the future holds, as it has yet to be written. But I do know this, “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.” That is the goal and I’m just one Step, closer!