There are times, typically several times everyday, I criticize myself for my own laziness. So what is holding me back?  Procrastination! I give myself 1000+ excuses finally coming to the conclusion, “I can just do it tomorrow.”  Right now, I just don’t have the motivation to do anything, for a variety of reasons.

For instance, my home is a complete disaster.  Obviously, I’m exaggerating.  It’s not like I’m a secret hoarder or have cockroaches running around. Or am I? [An example of my bad sense of humor].  No, I don’t.  But I want this, that, this, that and this done. I literally have a running list in my head categorized by room.  The list just gets longer instead of shorter. It’s frustrating.  After almost ten years here, I accumulated so much stuff and I need to just simply throw out. But I can’t even do ONE simple thing.

On a day like today, when I work, there are two or three hours to myself before I have get in my car for the hour and a half ride to work.  After an eight hour shift, I’m back in the car for the ride home.  Typically I sit my fat arse down in front of the TV watching late night television.  Fit in eight hours of sleep **quickly doing math**  and I have TWO HOURS A DAY left.

I have days off, typically twice a week.  But they are sporadic; never the same two days off nor two days in a row (an ideal weekend).  I haven’t had an ideal weekend since October 2016.  I joke with people, “My schedule changes like the wind.”  Literally, every day I have to check the schedule.  On many occasions it has changed without my knowledge or I’ve agreed to work such days weeks ago, yet forgotten.  But I’m a trooper getting to work early and working as scheduled without an argument.

Something has to change – soon!  Again, I say that but I’m so tired these days, I don’t have any motivation to do anything.  The new schedule came out at work – wait, what, seriously? I have a weekend in January and I have two days together off at the beginning of February.  YESSSS!  It just can’t get here so enough.