DR – October 14, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 14, 2021


Daily Reflection

A PROGRAM FOR LIVING

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. . . . On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. . . . Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86

I lacked serenity. With more to do than seemed possible, I fell further behind, no matter how hard I tried. Worries about things not done yesterday and fear of tomorrow’s deadlines denied me the calm I needed to be effective each day. Before taking Steps Ten and Eleven, I began to read passages like the one cited above. I tried to focus on God’s will, not my problems, and to trust that He would manage my day. It worked! Slowly, but it worked!


Big Book Quote

Nearly every modern employer feels a moral responsibility for the well-being of his help, and he tries to meet these responsibilities. That he has not always done so for the alcoholic is easily understood. To him the alcoholic has often seemed a fool of the first magnitude. Because of the employees special ability, or of his own strong personal attachment to him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period. Some employers have tried every known remedy. In only a few instances has there been a lack of patience and tolerance. And we, who have imposed on the best of employers, can scarcely blame them if they have been short with us.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, To Employers, pg. 137~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

How big a part of my life is A.A.? Is it just one of my activities and a small one at that? Do I only go to A.A. meetings now and then and sometimes never go at all? Do I think of A.A. only occasionally? Am I reticent about mentioning the subject of A.A. to people who might need help? Or does A.A. fill a large part of my life? Is it the foundation of my whole life? Where would I be without A.A.? Does everything I have and do depend on my A.A. foundation? Is A.A. the foundation on which I build my life?

Meditation for the Day

Lay upon God your failures and mistakes and shortcomings. Do not dwell upon your failures, upon the fact that in the past you have been nearer a beast than an angel. You have a mediator between you and God – your growing faith -, which can lift you up from the mire and point you toward the heavens. You can still be reconciled with the spirit of God. You can still regain your harmony with the Divine Principle of the universe.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not let the beast in me hold me back from my spiritual destiny. I pray that I may rise and walk upright.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Controlling Versus Trust

There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living that I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do, when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control.

—Anonymous

Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic, and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed, and to distrust.

We may not trust ourselves, our Higher Power, the Plan, the Universe, or the process of life. Instead of trusting, we revert to control.

We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting – ourselves, our Higher Power, the love and support of the Universe, the Plan, and this process we call life and recovery.

We can trust that when things don’t work out the way we want, God has something better planned.

We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go, say what we need to say, do what we need to do, know what we need to know, be who we need to be, and become all we can become, when we are intended to do that, when we are ready, and when the time is right.

We can trust our Higher Power and the Universe to give us all the direction we need.

We can trust ourselves to listen, and respond, accordingly.

We can trust that all we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey today. We shall receive today’s supplies today, and tomorrow’s supplies tomorrow. We were never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy, and the way was intended to be light.

Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan, control, and schedule all things. The schedule and plan have been written. All we need to do is show up.

The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply and clearly provided, one day at a time.

Trust, my friend, in today.

Today, I will trust that I will receive all I need to get me through today. I will trust that the same shall happen tomorrow.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

No man is more cheated than the selfish man.

—Henry Ward Beecher

When we’re selfish, we close off the channels of exchange with others. Not only are we grabbing and holding all the goods or attention we can get, but we are denying others the possibility of sharing with us in the benefits. We may be selfish in material goods, but there are many other ways too. Some of us expect our spouses to meet our needs while we make little effort to meet theirs. Some of us discover our selfishness as we drive, refusing to yield a position to another car or getting furious if we lose a place in heavy traffic.

By contrast, our generosity and welcoming responses nourish the spirit within us and create a good environment for our growth. Sometimes giving does not come easily. We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with our ultimate vulnerability. All of life is fragile, and we need each other to have a good life. We can truly hold onto nothing but ourselves. Giving what we can of our time, our energy, and our goods, helps create the kind of world we want to live in.

Today, I will look for ways to be generous with those I share this world with.


Elder’s Meditation

“Each soul must meet the morning sun, the new sweet earth and the Great Silence alone!”

–Ohiyesa (Dr. Charles A. Eastman), SANTEE SIOUX

The most important thing we can do during the course of the day is pray in the morning. There is a special time in the morning that has great power. This is the exact time the sun is rising. During the rising of the sun, everything on the Earth is waking up. Animals, plants, birds, and humans will be blessed at the rising of the sun. This is a special time to help us prepare for the day. During this time we ask the Creator to bless our day. We ask Him to guide us, to protect us and to give us courage to overcome the day’s obstacles. Doing this everyday will give us knowledge of God’s will for us.

Grandfather, Grandmother, guide my path. Let my thinking be guided by You.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Putting reality before your emotions is key today, particularly if you have to negotiate or revise an agreement where you share resources with other people. While you may question your identity if you don’t act like your usual nurturing self, the others involved may actually respect you more when you stand up for your own interests. Although a success here could trigger feelings of regret about past situations where you were less assertive, don’t let these concerns hold you back now. Learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward!

DR – October 13, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 13, 2021


Daily Reflection

UNREMITTING INVENTORIES

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The immediate admission of wrong thoughts or actions is a tough task for most human beings, but for recovering alcoholics like me it is difficult because of my propensity toward ego, fear and pride. The freedom the A.A. program offers me becomes more abundant when, through unremitting inventories of myself, I admit, acknowledge and accept responsibility for my wrong-doing. It is possible then for me to grow into a deeper and better understanding of humility. My willingness to admit when the fault is mine facilitates the progression of my growth and helps me to become more understanding and helpful to others.


Big Book Quote

“Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives. When we do that, we find it solves our problems too; the ensuing lack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderful thing.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, To Wives, pg. 116~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

A.A. Thought for the Day

A.A. work is one hundred percent voluntary. It depends on each and every one of our members to volunteer to do his or her share. Newcomers can sit on the sidelines until they have got over their nervousness and confusion. They have a right to be helped by all, until they can stand on their own feet. But the time inevitably comes when they have to speak up and volunteer to do their share in meetings and in twelfth-step work. Until that time comes, they are only in the process of being assimilated. Has my time come to volunteer?

Meditation for the Day

God’s kingdom on earth is growing slowly, like a seed in the ground. In the growth of His kingdom there is always progress among the few who are out ahead of the crowd. Keep striving for something better and there can be no stagnation in your life. Eternal life, abundant life, is yours for the seeking. Do not misspend time over past failures. Count the lessons learned from failures as rungs upon the ladder of progress. Press onward toward the goal.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be willing to grow. I pray that I may keep stepping up on the rungs of the ladder of life.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Substance over Form

I’m learning that for a variety of reasons, I’ve spent much of my life focusing on form rather than substance. My focus has been on having my hair done perfectly, wearing the right clothes, having my makeup applied perfectly, living in the right place, furnishing it with the right furniture, working at the right job, and having the right man. Form, rather than substance, has controlled my behavior in many areas of my life. Now, I’m finally getting to the truth. It’s substance that counts.

—Anonymous

There is nothing wrong in wanting to look our best. Whether we are striving to create a self, a relationship, or a life, we need to have some solid ideas about what we want that to look like.

Form gives us a place to begin. But for many of us, form has been a substitute for substance. We may have focused on form to compensate for feeling afraid or feeling inferior. We may have focused on form because we didn’t know how to focus on substance.

Form is the outline; substance is what fills it in. We fill in the outline of ourselves by being authentic; we fill in the outline of our life by showing up for life and participating to the best of our ability.

Now, in recovery, we’re learning to pay attention to how things work and feel, not just to what they look like.

Today, I will focus on substance in my life. I will fill in the lines of myself with a real person – me. I will concentrate on the substance of my relationships, rather than what they look like. I will focus on the real working of my life, instead of the trappings.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

I can sing a prayer as well as say it.

—Baal Shem Tov

Lightness of spirit, song, and liberation are the products of a hearty spirituality. There is never a moment we don’t have reason to fret or mourn. If we need to grieve, our recovery helps and supports us. But more than that, we are freed in this new life to be men of song and humor. We can sing although life is painful, because we are part of a group of recovering people. We’re part of an unfolding mystery. We have love and it is beautiful.

Each time we let go of a secret or an old guilt or a worry about the future, our spirit is lightened. Maybe we experience this at its fullest while spending time with friends who take us just as we are. Perhaps we find it by seeing a funny movie or singing with a group. In the wisdom of the Steps, we are asked to do difficult and painful tasks, which lead to our spiritual awakening. A light spirit celebrates the outcome of our hard work.

I will remember that my laughter and song are also ways of praying.


Elder’s Meditation

“So unbelievable things like that happen. But you have to believe it first. Not wait until you see it first, then touch it, then believe it… You have to say it from the heart.”

–Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

The power of our belief system is incredible. The power of faith is a very natural power. How do we have faith? Inside of our minds we form a mental picture with our self talk. Self talk is recorded in our minds in three dimensions – words that trigger a picture, which has a feeling or an emotion attached to it. Once we get the words and the picture, it is the emotion that makes the idea turn into a belief. You get the right emotion by saying things from the heart. The heart is the source of emotions which can cause unbelievable things to happen.

Great Spirit, with You everything is possible.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your idea of what your home life should be might differ from its current reality, and you may be tempted to use manipulation to get the people you live with to fill in the gaps. However, you’re better off putting in practical work to maintain the space and resources you share, because this can remind you of the things you have to appreciate and be grateful for already. From a foundation of love, you can negotiate with others to make whatever adjustments are truly needed.

DR – October 12, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 12, 2021


Daily Reflection

CURBING RASHNESS

When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 91

Being fair-minded and tolerant is a goal toward which I must work daily. I ask God, as I understand Him, to help me to be loving and tolerant to my loved ones, and to those with whom I am in close contact. I ask for guidance to curb my speech when I am agitated, and I take a moment to reflect on the emotional upheaval my words may cause, not only to someone else, but also to myself. Prayer, meditation and inventories are the key to sound thinking and positive action for me.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self- pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 86~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Am I still on a “free ride” in A.A.? Am I all get and no give? Do I go to meetings and always sit in the back row and let the others do all the work? Do I think it’s enough just because I’m sober and can rest on my laurels? If so, I haven’t gone very far in the program, nor am I getting nearly enough of what it has to offer. I will be a weak member until I get in there and help carry the load. I must eventually get off the bench and get into the game. I’m not just a spectator: I’m supposed to be one of the team. Do I go in there and carry the ball?

Meditation for the Day

Try to be thankful for whatever vision you have. Try to perform, in the little things, faithful service to God and others. Do your small part every day in a spirit of service to God. Be a doer of God’s word, not a hearer only. In your daily life try to keep faith with God. Every day brings a new opportunity to be of some use. Even when you are tempted to rest or let things go or to evade the issue, make it a habit to meet the issue squarely as a challenge and not to hold back.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may perform each task faithfully. I pray that I may meet each issue of life squarely and not hold back.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

During Times of Grief

The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to “cocoon for transformation,” in Pat Carnes’s words, while going through grief.

We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.

Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.

It’s okay to be gentle with ourselves when we’re gong through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.

We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.

It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.

Before long, we will take wings and fly.

God, help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

I resolve to meet evil courageously, but when even a small temptation cometh, I am in sore straits. That which seemeth trifling sometimes giveth rise to a grievous temptation.

—Thomas a’ Kempis

Even in recovery, we know we are vulnerable men, always subject to a return to old patterns. Sometimes we can understand the triggering event; other times there is no apparent reason for temptation to reappear. Perhaps it comes when we least expect it, when our guard is lowest. We may be tempted simply because we are addicts or codependents. Our powerlessness reminds us of our need for faithfulness to the program.

When we think we have moved beyond the draw of old behaviors, we veer away from our path of recovery. In saying we have grown out of our powerlessness, or that our resolve can now protect us, we are heading back into old troubles. Admitting the truth is unsettling. It also makes us more honest, more accessible, more spiritual, and more ready to deal with threats to our recovery.

I live with my powerlessness every day. Help me admit it to myself.


Elder’s Meditation

“The greatest obstacle to the internal nature is the mind. If it relies on logic the domain of the inner nature is inaccessible. The simple fact is a man does not challenge the wisdom of the Holy Mystery.”

–Turtleheart, TETON SIOUX

Why is it we need to analyze and understand everything? The Great Mystery has designed certain areas of creation to be a mystery because humans usually misuse it. We use the Great Mystery and see it unfold only under the direction of the Great Spirit. The Creator is in charge.

Great Spirit, let me realize You are in charge. I’m to do what You want.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your relationship with a member of your family may be frustrating for you at this time. If you choose to vent to your friends about the situation, be clear that you are looking for sympathy rather than advice. Their conventional wisdom might not fit the unique dynamics of your family, but they can probably relate to your emotional experience. As you get heard out, you might even wind up talking yourself through a resolution for your family drama.

DR – October 11, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 11, 2021


Daily Reflection

SELF-RESTRAINT

Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 91

My drive to work provides me with an opportunity for self-examination. One day while making this trip, I began to review my progress in sobriety, and was not happy with what I saw. I hoped that, as the work day progressed, I would forget these troublesome thoughts, but as one disappointment after another kept coming, my discontent only increased, and the pressures within me kept mounting.

I retreated to an isolated table in the lounge, and asked myself how I could make the most of the rest of the day. In the past, when things went wrong, I instinctively wanted to fight back. But during the short time I had been trying to live the A.A. program I had learned to step back and take a look at myself. I recognized that, although I was not the person I wanted to be, I had learned to not react in my old ways. Those old patterns of behavior only brought sorrow and hurt, to me and to others. I returned to my work station, determined to make the day a productive one, thanking God for the chance to make progress that day.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

We have three little mottoes which are apropos.
Here they are:

First Things First
Live and Let Live
Easy Does It
.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 135~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

How good a sponsor am I? When I bring new members to a meeting, do I feel that my responsibility has ended? Or do I make it my job to stay with them until they have either become good members of A.A. or have found another sponsor? If they don’t show up for a meeting, do I say to myself: “Well they’ve had it put up to them, so if they don’t want it, there’s nothing more I can do?” Or do I look them up and find out whether there is a reason for their absences or that they don’t want A.A.? Do I go out of my way to find out if there is anything more I can do to help? Am I a good sponsor?

Meditation for the Day

“First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift to God.” First I must get right with other people and then I can get right with God. If I hold resentment against someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should try to put something else constructive into my mind. I should pray for the one against whom I hold the resentment. I should put that person in God’s hands and let God show him or her the way to live. “If a man say: ‘I love God’ and hateth his brother, he is a liar, for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?”

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may see something good in every person, even one I dislike, and that I may let God develop the good in that person.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Recovery

How easy it is to blame our problems on others. “Look at what he’s doing.” . . . “Look how long I’ve waited.” . . . “Why doesn’t she call?” . . . “If only he’d change then I’d be happy.” . . .

Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire. But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people’s hands. We call this codependency.

The solution to our pain and frustration, however valid is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace – within ourselves. We know our happiness isn’t controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is. We call this acceptance.

Then we decide that although we’d like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan in play, one that’s better than we could have orchestrated. We call this faith.

Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves. That’s called recovery.

It’s easy to point our finger at another, but it’s more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.

Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by dealing with my own feelings.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.

—Susan Sontag

In recovery, we grow in many ways and become more comfortable with the many subtle colors in our personalities. We have a greater range of all human qualities available to us now. We are more light and playful at times and more serious at others. We can cuddle up like a dependent child, or we can be the one who is responsible under pressure. We can be tough and virile, and we can be soft and gentle. One musical tone playing in harmony with another makes a song more beautiful. Because we have made peace within ourselves, our masculinity is not threatened.

As we discover many new feelings and reactions, it is natural to wonder if they are normal. When we talk with others about the ways we have changed, we learn they have similar feelings. As we become more at peace with ourselves, the various sides of our personalities complement each other, and we appreciate the harmony within us and in our friends.

Today, I am grateful for the richness and variety within myself.


Elder’s Meditation

“Men and women have an equal responsibility to restore the strength of the family, which is the foundation of all cultures.”

–Haida Gwaii Traditional Circle of Elders

The family is the heartbeat of strength of the culture. The grandfathers and grandmothers taught their children; they in turn had children who taught their children. If the family isn’t taught the culture, then the children become adults, and the adults become the grandfathers and grandmothers, and the result is the culture becomes lost. This is how language is lost; this is how dances are lost; this is how knowledge is lost. We need to listen to our Elders, today, before it’s too late.

Great Spirit, teach me the culture so I can teach the children.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

An arrangement to pool money or property with others may currently help you achieve results you wouldn’t be capable of on your own, but it will still take effort on your part. As you put in your necessary share of work to maintain this system, you could particularly gain from improving your relationship with the other people involved. Though you may be used to only interacting with them for limited reasons, they could turn out to be interesting people even outside of that context.

DR – October 10, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 10, 2021


Daily Reflection

FIXING ME, NOT YOU

If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 90

What a freedom I felt when this passage was pointed out to me! Suddenly I saw that I could do something about my anger, I could fix me, instead of trying to fix them. I believe that there are no exceptions to the axiom. When I am angry, my anger is always self-centered. I must keep reminding myself that I am human, that I am doing the best I can, even when that best is sometimes poor. So I ask God to remove my anger and truly set me free.


Big Book Quote

For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination.

It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt and one more failure.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 151~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

When new members come into my A.A. group, do I make a special effort to make them feel at home? Do I put myself out to listen to them, even if their ideas of A.A. are vague? Do I make it a habit to talk to all new members myself, or do I often leave that to someone else? I may not be able to help them, but then again it may be something that I might say that would put them on the right track. When I see any members sitting alone, do I put myself out to be nice to them, or do I stay among my own special group of friends and leave them out in the cold? Are all new A.A. s my responsibility?

Meditation for the Day

You are God’s servant. Serve Him cheerfully and readily. Nobody likes a servant who avoids extra work, who complains about being called from one task to do one less enjoyable. A master would feel ill served by such a servant. But is that not how you so often serve God? View your day’s work in this light. Try to do your day’s work the way you believe God wants you to do it, never shirking any responsibility and often going out of your way to be of service.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be a good servant. I pray that I may be willing to go out of my way to be of service.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Payoffs from Destructive Relationships

Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.

The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.

Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or morally superior to the other person.

Some of us feel alleviated from financial or other kinds of responsibility by staying in a particular relationship.

“My father sexually abused me when I was a child,” said one woman. “I went on to spend the next twenty years blackmailing him emotionally and financially on this. I could get money from him whenever I wanted, and I never had to take financial responsibility for myself.”

Realizing that we may have gotten a codependent payoff from a relationship is not a cause for shame. It means we are searching out the blocks in ourselves that may be stopping our growth.

We can take responsibility for the part we may have played in keeping ourselves victimized. When we are willing to look honestly and fearlessly at the payoff and let it go, we will find the healing we’ve been seeking. We’ll also be ready to receive the positive, healthy payoffs available in relationships, the payoffs we really want and need.

Today, I will be open to looking at the payoffs I may have received from staying in unhealthy relationships, or from keeping destructive systems operating. I will become ready to let go of my need to stay in unhealthy systems; I am ready to face myself.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes.

—Victor Frankl

When we stand and look at a mountain, it looks awesome, majestic, and perhaps intimidating. To climb the mountain we will need to select a route. Which approach will give us success? Which will provide a beautiful view? Which is safest? What are the rewards and trade offs among the paths available?

In our lives, we usually cannot choose the mountains that face us, but we can choose the best paths to approach them. One path may be a very negative attitude. It may feel safe like a narrow, protected passageway. It is predictable, but it keeps us cut off from others. Another path may be filled with too many self-indulgent pleasures and never progress in any direction. Another path may be hard and include some risks, but it allows us to be in contact with others and to appreciate the beauty along the way. When we make positive choices about our attitudes, although the mountain is challenging, we are liberated to become the kind of men we’re meant to be.

Today, I will choose friendly attitudes toward myself that will help me on my journey.


Elder’s Meditation

“I think that’s what unity is – knowing one another,coming together, and working with no conflict.”

–Chief Alan Wilson, HAIDA

When we are aligned with spiritual values, we cannot be in fear or conflict. When we are aligned to spiritual values, we have the Creator whispering solutions in our ears. Unity is one of the spiritual values. When we value unity we value solutions. If we think this way, then we have no conflict within ourselves.

Great Spirit, let me see through Your eyes.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

A home improvement project could be tempting you to work yourself to exhaustion at the moment, especially if you don’t have a very clear idea of your desired end result. Instead of chasing unproductively after a vague mirage, you might need to step back for a moment and remember why you took on this project. Getting in touch with your true motivation can help you determine a specific course of action that will help lead you to a satisfying outcome.

DR – October 9, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 9, 2021


Daily Reflection

A SPIRITUAL AXIOM

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 90

I never truly understood the Tenth Step’s spiritual axiom until I had the following experience. I was sitting in my bedroom, reading into the wee hours, when suddenly I heard my dogs barking in the back yard. My neighbors frown on this kind of disturbance so, with mixed feelings of anger and shame, as well as fear of my neighbors’ disapproval, I immediately called in my dogs. Several weeks later the exact situation repeated itself but this time, because I was feeling more at peace with myself, I was able to accept the situation—dogs will bark—and I calmly called in the dogs. Both incidents taught me that when a person experiences nearly identical events and reacts two different ways, then it is not the event which is of prime importance, but the person’s spiritual condition. Feelings come from inside,not from outward circumstances. When my spiritual condition is positive, I react positively.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

“We agnostically inclined would not feel satisfied with a proposal which does not lend itself to reasonable approach and interpretation. Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, ‘We don’t know.'”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Am I willing to be bored sometimes at meetings? Am I willing to listen to much repetition of A.A. principles? Am I willing to hear the same thing over and over again? Am I willing to listen to long-winded members go into every detail of their past? Am I willing to take it, because it is doing them good to get it off their chest? My feelings are not too important. The good of A.A. comes first, even if it is not always comfortable for me. Have I learned to take it?

Meditation for the Day

God would draw us all closer to Him in the bonds of the spirit. He would have all people drawn closer to each other in the bonds of the spirit. God, the Great Spirit of the universe, of which each of our own spirits is a small part, must want unity between Himself and all His children. “Unity of the spirit in the bonds of peace.” Each experience of our life, of joy, of sorrow, of danger, of safety, of difficulty, of success, of hardship, of ease, each should be accepted as part of our common lot, in the bonds of the spirit.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may welcome the bonds of true fellowship. I pray that I may be brought closer to unity with God and other people.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Self-Disclosure

Learning to gently reveal who we are is how we open ourselves up to love and intimacy in our relationships.

Many of us have hidden under a protective shell, a casing that prevents others from seeing or hurting us. We do not want to be that vulnerable. We do not want to expose our thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, and sometimes our strengths, to others.

We do not want others to see who we really are.

We may be afraid they might judge us, go away, or not like us. We may be uncertain that who we are is okay or exactly how we should reveal ourselves to others.

Being vulnerable can be frightening, especially if we have lived with people who abused, mistreated, manipulated, or did not appreciate us.

Little by little, we learn to take the risk of revealing ourselves. We disclose the real person within to others. We pick safe people, and we begin to disclose bits and pieces about ourselves.

Sometimes, out of fear, we may withhold, thinking that will help the relationship or will help others like us more. That is an illusion. Withholding who we are does not help the other person, the relationship, or us. Withholding is behavior that backfires. For true intimacy and closeness to exist, for us to love ourselves and be content in a relationship, we need to disclose who we are.

That does not mean we tell all to everyone at once. That can be a self-defeating behavior too. We can learn to trust ourselves, about who to tell, when to tell, where to tell, and how much to tell.

To trust that people will love and like us if we are exactly who we are is frightening. But it is the only way we can achieve what we want in relationships. To let go of our need to control others – their opinions, their feelings about us, or the course of the relationship – is the key.

Gently, like a flower, we can learn to open up. Like a flower, we will do that when the sun shines and there is warmth.

Today, I will begin to take the risk of disclosing who I am to someone with whom I feel safe. I will let go of some of my protective devices and risk being vulnerable – even though I may have been taught differently, even though I may have taught myself differently. I will disclose who I am in a way that reflects self-responsibility, self-love, directness, and honesty. God, help me let go of my fears about disclosing who I am to people. Help me accept who I am, and help me let go of my need to be who people want me to be.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood.

—Carl Jung

We so often long to be understood. We imagine it would cure our loneliness and empty feelings. We think of it as a kind of intimacy. Yet, we may be longing for a false goal. We are each a unique man on an incomplete journey. We don’t yet fully understand ourselves. There is still much mystery beneath the surface of our being. If our partners or friends completely understood us, where would we go from there? We would no longer belong to ourselves.

Perhaps we are completely understood by our Higher Power but not by another person. It is a fact of life that we continue to grow and to reveal deeper layers of ourselves. We have relationships in which we can share the mysteries as they unfold. We can talk and be understood. In communication we find our closeness and intimacy.

Today, I will remember that at the deepest level no one can fully understand me. I will communicate with others to deal with my loneliness.


Elder’s Meditation

“That spiritual power I wear is much more beautiful and much greater. We call it wisdom, knowledge, power and gift, or love. There are these four parts to that spiritual power. So I wear those. When you wear that power it will beautify your mind and spirit. You become beautiful. Everything that Tunkashila creates is beautiful.”

–Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

When I was young, I asked my grandfather, “What should I pray for?” He thought for a long time and then he said, “Pray only for wisdom and for the knowledge of love.” This makes a lot of sense. No matter what happens I ask the Creator to show me the lessons I should be learning. I pray for Him to help me learn the lessons. By doing this everyday we become beautiful human beings.

Great Spirit, grant me Your wisdom.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You have the potential to manifest beauty in the physical world today, and you could also have plenty of energy raring to implement it in your home immediately. Even so, be careful to respect others who share your space! No matter how awesome your idea is, how you present it might be what determines if everyone else wants to use it. All the beauty in the world is no good if it’s pursued in a way that makes people feel trampled.

DR – September 8, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
September 8, 2021


Daily Reflection

“WE ASKED HIS PROTECTION”

We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

I could not manage my life alone. I had tried that road and failed. My “ultimate sin” dragged me down to the lowest level I have ever reached and, unable even to function, I accepted the fact that I desperately needed help. I stopped fighting and surrendered entirely to God.

Only then did I start growing! God forgave me. A Higher Power had to have saved me, because the doctors doubted that I would survive. I have forgiven myself now and I enjoy a freedom I have never before experienced. I’ve opened my heart and mind to Him. The more I learn, the less I know — a humbling fact — but I sincerely want to keep growing. I enjoy serenity, but only when I entrust my life totally to God. As long as I am honest with myself and ask for His help, I can maintain this rewarding existence.

Just for today, I strive to live His will for me — soberly.

I thank God that today I can choose not to drink.

Today, life is beautiful!

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.


Big Book Quote

“To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, Page 44~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Another of the mottoes of A.A. is “But for the Grace of God.” Once we have fully accepted the program we become humble about our achievement. We do not take too much credit for our sobriety. When we see another suffering alcoholic in the throes of alcoholism, we say to ourselves: “But for the grace of God, there go I.” We do not forget the kind of people we were. We remember those we left behind us. And we are very grateful to the grace of God, which has given us another chance. Am I truly grateful for the grace of God?

Meditation for the Day

A consciousness of God’s presence as One who loves you makes all life different. The consciousness of God’s love promotes the opening of your whole being to God. It brings wonderful relief from the cares and worries of our daily lives. Relief brings peace and peace brings contentment. Try to walk in God’s love. You will have that peace which passes all understanding and a contentment that no one can take from you. Feel sure of God’s unfailing love and care for you and for all His children. There is freedom and serenity in those who walk in God’s love, held safe in His loving care.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may walk in God’s love. I pray that, as I go, I may feel the spring of God’s power in my steps and the joy of His love in my heart.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Stopping Our Pain

Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn.
—Beyond Codependency

There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us recovering from adult children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from early childhood to the present, that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support and permission to deal with.

There are other inevitable sources of pain in our life too. There is the sadness and grief that comes when we experience change, even good change, as we let go of one part of our life, and begin our journey into the new.

There is pain in recovery, as we begin allowing ourselves to feel while dropping our protective shield of denial.

There is the pain that leads and guides us into better choices for our future.

We have many choices about how to stop this pain. We may have experimented with different options. Compulsive and addictive behaviors stop pain – temporarily. We may have used alcohol, other drugs, relationships, or sex to stop our pain.

We may talk compulsively or compulsively focus on other people and their needs as a way to avoid or stop our pain.

We may use religion to avoid our feelings.

We may resort to denial of how we are feeling to stop our pain.

We may stay so busy that we don’t have time to feel. We may use money, exercise, or food to stop our pain.

We have many choices. To survive, we may have used some of these options, only to find that these were Band Aids – temporary pain relievers that did not solve the problem. They did not really stop our pain; they postponed it.

In recovery, there is a better choice about how we may stop pain. We can face it and feel it. When we are ready, with our Higher Power’s help, we can summon the courage to feel the pain, let it go, and let the pain move forward – into a new decision, a better life.

We can stop the behaviors we are doing that cause pain, if that’s appropriate. We can make a decision to remove ourselves from situations that cause repeated, similar pain. We can learn the lesson our pain is trying to teach us.

If we are being pelted by pain, there is a lesson. Trust that idea. Something is being worked out in us. The answer will not come from addictive or other compulsive behaviors; we will receive the answer when we feel our feelings.

It takes courage to be willing to stand still and feel what we must feel. Sometimes, we have what seems like endless layers of pain inside us. Pain hurts. Grief hurts. Sadness hurts. It does not feel good. But neither does denying what is already there; neither does living a lifetime with old and new pockets of pain packed, stored, and stacked within.

It will only hurt for a while, no longer than necessary, to heal us. We can trust that if we must feel pain, it is part of healing, and it is good. We can become willing to surrender to and accept the inevitable painful feelings that are a good part of recovery.

Go with the flow, even when the flow takes us through uncomfortable feelings. Release, freedom, healing, and good feelings are on the other side.

Today, I am open and willing to feel what I need to feel. I am willing to stop my compulsive behaviors. I am willing to let go of my denial. I am willing to feel what I need to feel to be healed, healthy, and whole.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

It’s hard for me to keep my emotions inside. I want to express them now. That’s what a team is all about.
—Earvin “Magic” Johnson

We become part of a team in this program. That’s why all the Steps are written with the word we rather than I. We cannot fully surrender to renewal simply by reading about it, hearing about it, or thinking about it. We become participants, members, and peers. We go to meetings and express the details of our lives, and we learn from the stories of others. In our relationships we learn to let our emotions out.

When we say, “He’s hard to get to know,” we are talking about someone who doesn’t show feelings. Team members express their feelings to build a bond between themselves and gain a familiarity with each other. A man may say, “I’m the sort of guy who doesn’t do well in groups,” or “I’m not the type to express my feelings.” But for the sake of recovery, we must endure the awkwardness of learning new things. On this recovery team it is all right to come just the way we are, awkwardness and all.

Today, I will not hold back my emotions. I will let people know me.


Elder’s Meditation

“Keep your life simple because the more you get, the more complicated it becomes.”

–Joe Coyhis, STOCKBRIDGE-MUNSEE

The old ones say, lead a simple life. The society we live in is all about getting more houses, cars, luxury and credit cards. The law of worry says, the more you have, the more you need to worry. You get a house, then you need insurance, then you need to take care of the yard and the list goes on. Next, you may want a bigger house with a bigger yard which costs more in insurance. Along with the accumulation of materialism, are other “gifts.” Soon you become a slave and the materialism owns you. Lead a simple life and have peace of mind. Lead a simple life and be spiritual.

Creator, let my foundation be spiritual and simple.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your creative side is calling today, but it could be hard for you to distinguish whether you are more interested in expressing yourself or in getting people’s attention. Alleviating loneliness is a valid need, especially if frustrations at home make that an unsatisfying place to connect at the moment. Art for a particular audience, however, may be different from art for your own personal catharsis. Try to think through what outcome you want, and that can help you work out how to get there.

DR – October 7, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 7, 2021


Daily Reflection

Continued to take personal inventory. . . .

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step—”every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us”—also tells me that there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility, of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of my own reality.

When I take my daily inventory, I know that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her, and in my heart, I should thank that person.


Big Book Quote

“Alcoholics who have derided religious people will be helped by such contacts. Being possessed of a spiritual experienc, the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people, though he may differ with them on many matters. If he does not argue about religion, he will make new friends and is sure to find new avenues of usefulness and pleasure. He and his family can be a bright spot in such congregations. He may bring new hope and new courage to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all to minister to our troubled world. We intend the foregoing as a helpful suggestion only. So far as we are concerned, there is nothing obligatory about it. As non-denominational people, we cannot make up others’ minds for them. Each individual should consult his own conscience.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 131~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Do I put too much reliance on any one member of the group? That is, do I make a tin god out of some one person? Do I set that person on a pedestal? If I do, I am building my house on sand. All A.A. members have “clay feet.” They are all only one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long they have been in A.A. This has been proved to be true more than once. It’s not fair to any member to be singled out as a leader in A.A. and to always quote that member on the A.A. program. If that person should fail, where would I be? Can I afford to be tipped over by the failure of my ideal?

Meditation for the Day

You must always remember that you are weak but that God is strong. God knows all about your weakness. He hears every cry for mercy, every sign of weakness, every plea for help, every sorrow over failure, every weakness felt and expressed. We only fail when we trust too much to our own strength. Do not feel bad about your weakness. When you are weak that is when God is strong to help you. Trust God enough, and your weakness will not matter. God is always strong to save.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may learn to lean on God’s strength. I pray that I may know that my weakness is God’s opportunity.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting Go of Naivete

We can be loving, trusting people and still not allow ourselves to be used or abused. We don’t have to let people do whatever they want to us. Not all requests are legitimate! Not all requests require a yes!

Life may test us. People may seek out our weak spots. We may see a common denominator to the limits that are being tested in our life. If we have a weak spot in one area, we may find ourselves tested repeatedly in that area by family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Life, people, our Higher Power, and the universe may be trying to teach us something specific.

When we learn that lesson, we will find that problems with that area dwindle. The boundary has been set, the power has been owned. For now, the lesson has been learned. We may need to be angry with certain people for a while, people who have pushed our tolerance over the edge. That’s okay. Soon, we can let go of the anger and exchange it for gratitude. These people have been here to help us learn about what we don’t want, what we won’t tolerate, and how to own our power.

We can thank them for what we have learned.

How much are we willing to tolerate? How far shall we let others go with us? How much of our anger and intuition shall we discount? Where are our limits? Do we have any? If we don’t, we’re in trouble.

There are times to not trust others, but instead trust ourselves and set boundaries with those around us.

Today, I will be open to new awareness about the areas where I need healthier boundaries. I will forego my naive assumption that the other person is always right. I will exchange that view for trusting myself, listening to myself, and having and setting healthy boundaries.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn’t like me, I’ve got to get out.

—Marlon Brando

How much acceptance is enough for us? Do we feel one person’s criticism undermines the acceptance of 199 others? Do we get so focused on one person’s negative response to us that we cannot hear the positive? If we are unable to accept criticism from others, it becomes a sink without a plug, draining away all the positives we naturally have in our life.

As we become spiritual men, we’re able to detach from negative and critical messages. We must still hear them. We must still listen to their messages because we can learn from them. But we can separate ourselves from the negative message. We can make a mistake. Someone can dislike us. But we do not give up our places as equal, worthwhile men for any reason.

God, I pray for your support when my own strength to stand up for myself falters.


Elder’s Meditation

We have a biological father and mother, but our real Father is Tunkashila [Creator] and our real Mother is the Earth.”

–Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

Who really gives us our life? Who really gives us our food and nurturing? Who really allows us to be born? We are born through our parents who act as the vehicle of life for the Creator and Mother Earth. Our parents take care of us for a little while and when we are ready we must leave them and be faithful to our true Father, the Creator, and our true Mother, the Earth. Then we need to be of service to the Creator and be respectful to Mother Earth.

Great Spirit, thank you for being my Father. Teach me to honor the Earth.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may want to relax and do your own thing right now, but someone close could be pushing you to deal with heavy issues in your connection with them. As caring Venus begins supporting your approach to relationship responsibilities, you might consider trying to do some random acts of kindness on a regular basis to strengthen this partnership. While you may not get out of the serious conversation this time, building a strong, nurturing foundation could reduce the need for talks like that going forward.

DR – October 6, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 6, 2021


Daily Reflection

FACING OURSELVES

. . . and Fear says, “You dare not look!”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49

How often I avoided a task in my drinking days just because it appeared so large! Is it any wonder, even if I have been sober for some time, that I will act that same way when faced with what appears to be a monumental job, such as a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself? What I discover after I have arrived at the other side—when my inventory is completed—is that the illusion was greater than the reality. The fear of facing myself kept me at a standstill and, until I became willing to put pencil to paper, I was arresting my growth based on an intangible.


Big Book Quote

“We alcoholics are undisciplined. So we let God discipline us…”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 88~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Is it my desire to be a big shot in A.A.? Do I always want to be up front in the limelight? Do I feel that nobody else can do as good a job as I can? Or am I willing to take a seat in the back row once in a while and let somebody else carry the ball? Part of the effectiveness of any A.A. group is the development of new members to carry on, to take over from the older members. Am I reluctant to give up authority? Do I try to carry the load for the whole group? If so, I am not being fair to the newer members. Do I realize that no one person is essential? Do I know that A.A. could carry on without me, if it had to?

Meditation for the Day

The Unseen God can help to make us truly grateful and humble. Since we cannot see God, we must believe in Him without seeing. What we can see clearly is the change in a human being, when he sincerely asks God for the strength to change. We should cling to faith in God and in His power to change our ways. Our faith in an Unseen God will be rewarded by a useful and serviceable life. God will not fail to show us the way we should live, when in real gratitude and true humility we turn to Him.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may believe that God can change me. I pray that I may be always willing to be changed for the better.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Taking Care of Ourselves

It’s healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That’s different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior – a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized – because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.

Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don’t.

Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.

But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.

Today, I will evaluate whether I’ve slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another’s feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Forgiveness is another word for letting go.

—Matthew Fox

Learning forgiveness – both granting it to others and accepting it for ourselves – is one of the primary means of a man’s spiritual recovery. Many of us, after entering this program, are plagued with strong feelings of guilt. We have finally become accountable, and we see our lives in a new perspective. We long for a chance to undo our mistakes. Many men carry guilt for years as if they deserved to be punished. Our recovery program tells us to let go.

Simply going through the motions of forgiving or accepting forgiveness will not get us very far. We must squarely face our feelings and tell someone so we are no longer alone with our guilt. Then, if there is the possibility for repair without further hurt, we must make repair. In this concrete way we can be genuinely forgiven and fully accept forgiveness. When a man has a spiritual experience like this, he matures and gains the ability to forgive others.

I am grateful for the relief of being forgiven and letting go of past mistakes. I will genuinely let go of my guilt and resentment.


Elder’s Meditation

“Lots of people hardly ever feel real soil under their feet, see plants grow except in flower pots, or get far enough beyond the street light to catch the enchantment of a night sky studded with stars. When people live far from scenes of the Great Spirit’s making, it’s easy for them to forget His laws.”

–Tatanga Mani (Walking Buffalo), STONEY

Nature is life’s greatest teacher. The natural laws are hidden in nature. Hidden are solutions to everyday problems such as; conflict resolution, how to forgive, lessons about differences, how to manage organizations, how to think. Hidden are feelings. You can look at something and you will feel it. At night, have you ever looked at the sky when there are no clouds? As you look at all the stars, your heart will become very joyful. You will walk away feeling joyful and peaceful. We need to visit nature so we can see and feel these things.

My Creator, let me learn nature’s lessons.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Friends may give you support to break out of a rut in your home or family life right now, but watch out for someone who’s more interested in being considered helpful than in actually helping you. Even so, that kind of person could genuinely assist you in identifying the manipulative behavior of someone else in your life — in the sense that it takes one to know one. If you work with them there, you can tell them in good conscience that they really did help.

DR – October 5, 2021

Daily Recovery Readings
October 5, 2021


Daily Reflection

YESTERDAY’S BAGGAGE

For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

I have more than enough to handle today, without dragging along yesterday’s baggage too. I must balance today’s books, if I am to have a chance tomorrow. So I ask myself if I have erred and how I can avoid repeating that particular behavior. Did I hurt anyone, did I help anyone, and why? Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory.


Big Book Quote

Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 133~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Do I have any hard feelings about other group members or for any other A.A. group? Am I critical of the way a group member thinks or acts? Do I feel that another group is operating in the wrong way and do I broadcast it? Or do I realize that all A.A. members, no matter what their limitations, have something to offer, some good, however little, that they can do for A.A. in spite of their handicaps? Do I believe that there is a place for all kinds of groups in A.A., provided they are following A.A. traditions, and that they can be effective, even if I do not agree with their procedure? Am I tolerant of people and groups?

Meditation for the Day

“The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in, from this time forth and even forever more.” The Unseen Spirit can guide all your movements, your goings and comings. Every visit to help another, every unselfish effort to assist, can be blessed by that Unseen Spirit. There can be a blessing on all you do, on every interview with one who is suffering. Every meeting of a need may not be a chance meeting, but the Unseen Spirit may have planned it. Led by the Spirit of the Lord, you can be tolerant, sympathetic, and understanding of others and so accomplish much.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that the spirit of God may lead me. I pray that the Lord will preserve my goings and my comings.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Knowledge

Learn to let yourself be guided into truth.

We will know what we need to know, when we need to know that. We don’t have to feel badly about taking our own time to reach our insights. We don’t have to force insight or awareness before it’s time.

Yes! Maybe the whole world saw a particular truth in our life, and we denied it – until we were ready to deal with it. That is our business, and our right! Our process is our own, and we will discover our truths at the right time, when we are ready, when the learning experience is complete.

The most growth-producing concept we can develop for others and ourselves is to allow ourselves to have our own process. We can give and receive support and encouragement while we go through this process. We can listen to others and say what we think. We can set boundaries and take care of ourselves, when needed. But we still give others and ourselves the right to grow at our own pace, without judgment, and with much trust that all is well and is on schedule.

When we are ready, when the time is right, and when our Higher Power is ready – we will know what we need to know.

Today, I will let myself and others have our own pace and time schedule for growth and change. I will trust that I will be empowered with insights and the tools for dealing with these insights, at the right time.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Men are doomed to live in an overwhelmingly tragic and demonic world.

—Ernest Becker

Life is difficult. We never reach the point where our path is free of obstacles and hardships. And regardless of how much we grow, how faithful we are to our program, nothing changes the fact that death is still there for us. As painful and hard as it is, life also is deeply meaningful and worthwhile when we submit to its reality and live in a spiritual way.

After we stop living in denial and accept the hard facts about life, we see that we need each other. We need relationships to stay sane. We need to pull together and support one another the way people do in difficult times. Rugged individualism isn’t always good for real people in the real world. We need relationships so we can celebrate and make music and encourage one another. We need relationships so we can laugh and make jokes and tell our personal stories. And we need to stand together to oppose the destructive forces around us.

God help me learn to have relationships with my brothers and sisters.


Elder’s Meditation

“The dances are prayers.”

–Pop Chalee, TAOS PUEBLO

When we dance to the drum we pray to the Creator and attract the heartbeat of the earth. We never dance without reason; every dance has a purpose. We dance for rain; we dance for healing; we dance for seasons; we dance for joy; we dance for our children; we dance for the people; we dance for courage. The drum plays to the beat of the heart, to the beat of the Earth. The drum connects us to the Earth while we dance our prayers.

Oh, Great One, let my dance and prayer be heard by You.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Although you may have ideological differences with your family, they could also be supportive of you in terms of financial or material resources. How you negotiate this awkward situation could come down to how you explain it to yourself. Today, you have an opportunity to examine your story and update it as needed. Be honest about what is not working for you, but also acknowledge the benefits you are receiving. Seeing the full picture can help you decide how to move forward.