DR – Jan 20, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 20, 2017

Daily Reflection

“WE PAUSE . . . AND ASK”

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 87

Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend.
I promise to watch for every opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills—it is the unsuspected Inner Resource.

I thank my Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the right thought or action today.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn’t be shy on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 85

Keep It Simple

SERVICE—A beautiful word fallen upon bad days.—Claude McKay

Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others we’re part of the human race. We all need to help each other. Service is a sure way to stay sober. Helping someone else stay sober helps us stay sober. And service frees us from self-will. It teaches us about how to care for ourselves and others. It teaches us that we’re worthwhile. It teaches us that we make a difference. Service keeps us feeling good. Am I quiet when the topic of service comes ap at meetings? If so, how can I change this?

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, show me where I can be of help. Give me the courage to make a difference. Give me the courage to really serve others in need.

Action for the Day:
I’ll list five ways service has made or can make my life better.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your newfound self-sufficiency allows you to withdraw deeper into your shell today. Fortunately, you are tapping into powerful emotional issues that can teach you something valuable about yourself. People may think you are retreating as an act of rebellion, but it’s just your way of forcing them to show their cards. There’s no need to explain your motives now; execute your strategy and your determination will be rewarded. Work hard in silence; let your success be your noise.

DR – Jan 18, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 18, 2017

Daily Reflection

WOULD A DRINK HELP?

By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23

When I was still drinking, I couldn’t respond to any of life’s situations the way other, more healthy, people could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings. But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking — or again I will think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: ‘Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.’ Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.” 
~~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 33

Keep It Simple

The reality is that changes are coming….they must come. You must share in bring them.
–John Hersey

Change. It’s scary. It’s hard. It’s needed. Sometimes it feels bad. But one thing is for sure: it keeps on happening. Just when our life seems settled, it changes. We can’t stop life. We can’t stay this age forever. The world changes. Life moves on. There are always new things to do and learn. Changes means we’re always beginners in some ways. We need to ask for wisdom and courage. We get it by listening, by praying, by meditating. When we ask, our Higher Power will teach us to be part of good changes.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me believe that Your plans call for good changes.

Action for the Day:
Today I’ll think about the changes in my life. I’ve lived through a lot. I’ll be okay when more changes come, with God’s help. I can keep on growing.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may rush ahead and take unnecessary risks today, but impulsive actions only remind you that you do better when you consider your words and actions first. Warrior Mars rams into a clunky alignment with bombastic Jupiter, possibly inciting an argument or leading you in the wrong direction. It might not be easy to manage your intensity now, yet limiting the scope of your endeavors and tempering your language allow you to apply your passions more productively. George Lucas teaches, “Always remember, your focus determines your reality.”

DR – Jan 17, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 17, 2017

Daily Reflection

HAPPINESS COMES QUIETLY

“The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular order we wanted to get it-by the alcohol route. And we weren’t successful. But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone.”
— DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, p. 308

The simplicity of the A.A. program teaches me that happiness isn’t something I can “demand.” It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others. In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed, I find that my own sobriety has been recharged with indescribable gratitude and happiness.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worth while.” ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 66

Keep It Simple

When all else fails, read the instructions. ~Agnes Allen

The instructions for recovery are in our Twelve Step program. Yet, there are times when we feel our program isn’t working. at these times, we need to read the instructions. Have you followed the “instructions,” the wise words are found in The Big Book, The Twelve and Twelve, and other recovery literature? When we do, we recover. It’s hard at times, and easy at others. Our problems go deeper than just staying sober. No matter what our problems, our program can help us start fixing them, if we follow the instructions. Don’t use alcohol or other drugs. Go to meeting. Talk often with sponsors and program friends. Work the Steps. Think. Easy Does It. First Things First. Listen. Let Go and Let God. One Day at a Time.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, tell me which instructions to read today. If I’m headed for trouble, help me out.

Today’s Action:
I’ll read the instructions today.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re not very interested in going out to change the world today. In fact, if you had your druthers, you would have the world come to you. However, you might end up feeling isolated if you sink deeper into your emotional safety zone. But don’t waste this opportunity to reflect on your personal life or even look back over larger reaches of family history. What you discover while exploring these inner worlds is magically projected onto the outer realms. Lao Tzu wrote, “Knowing others is wisdom; knowing yourself is enlightenment.”

DR – Jan 16, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 16, 2017

Daily Reflection

HITTING BOTTOM

Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.’s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p, 24

Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my training wheels and my supporting hand. It’s not that I wanted the help so much at the time; I simply did not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful than my desire to drink. In the beginning that was what kept me sober. But after a while I found myself working the Steps to the best of my ability. I soon realized that my attitudes and actions were changing—if ever so slightly. One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal. Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that’s exactly what this book is about.” 
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 45

Keep It Simple

Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us.—Eric Hoffer

It’s tempting to blame others for our problems. Recovery asks us to answer for our actions. Admitting we are powerless over our actions. Admitting we are powerless over our alcohol and other drugs is a start.

Each of the Twelve Steps asks us to answer for our actions in some way. And the program shows us how to do this. Over time, we see that being responsible for our actions is the best way to live. Our self-confidence grows as we become more responsible. We start to see just how much we can do. We have gone from being drunks to being responsible people. If we can do this, then we can do anything!

Prayer for the Day:
I pray to remember that I’m responsible for my actions. Blaming puts distance between me and other people. Higher Power, help me to play fair.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list four times I’ve blamed someone else for a problem that was really my problem.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may not be very happy today if circumstances rain on your plans. However, sometimes hearing no is a blessing in disguise, since practicing self-restraint can be helpful in the long run. Nevertheless, obstacles will fade if you apply what you learn in a methodical manner. Thankfully, you are strong on determination and endurance now, assuring that your actions will have the impact that you desire. Robert Collier wrote, “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

DR – Jan 15, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 15, 2017

Daily Reflection

AN UNSUSPECTED INNER RESOURCE

With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 567-68

From my first days in A.A., as I struggled for sobriety, I found hope in these words from our founders. I often pondered the phrase: “they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource.” How, I asked myself, can I find the Power within myself, since I am so powerless? In time, as the founders promised, it came to me: I have always had the choice between goodness and evil, between unselfishness and selfishness, between serenity and fear. That Power greater than myself is an original gift that I did not recognize until I achieved daily sobriety through living A.A.’s Twelve Steps.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62

Keep It Simple

I shall tell you a great secret, my friend. Don not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day. –Albert Camus

“Later.” How often have we said this? This trick help us avoid the tasks of the day. Life is full of task–many fun, some boring, others hard. Can I accept the task my Higher Power gives me, easy or hard?

When we used alcohol or other drugs, we’d avoid task, if they became hard for us. We believed we had more control than we really did. We started to believe we could control outcomes. What we really were doing was setting ourselves up for a great fall. We had to face the fact that when our Higher Power had given us a task, we said no, and turned away. Thus, we turned away from the guiding hand of our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day:
God, help me face You and the tasks You give me. Make me a grateful student of life.

Today’s Action:
Today I will talk with friends. I will tell them what tasks I’m working on.

Horoscope  – Cancer

You like the idea of free-floating through the day without anything on your schedule. Nevertheless, creating an agenda enables you to make the most of your time. It may seem counter-intuitive to allocate space on your calendar for rest and recreation, but it’s wise to relinquish your resistance to organizing everything in advance. Even if you deviate from your initial arrangement, planning in advance gives you the widest range of choices. Prepare for the road ahead, even if it’s just leading to the playground or the couch.

 

DR – Jan 14, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 14, 2017

Daily Reflection

NO REGRETS

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83

Once I became sober, I began to see how wasteful my life had been and I experienced overwhelming guilt and feelings of regret. The program’s Fourth and Fifth Steps assisted me enormously in healing those troubling regrets. I learned that my self-centeredness and dishonesty stemmed largely from my drinking and that I drank because I was an alcoholic. Now I see how even my most distasteful past experiences can turn to gold because, as a sober alcoholic, I can share them to help my fellow alcoholics, particularly newcomers. Sober for several years in A.A., I no longer regret the past; I am simply grateful to be conscious of God’s love and of the help I can give to others in the Fellowship.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 75

Keep It Simple

If you play with a thing long enough, you will surely break it.—Anonymous

Some things shouldn’t be played with. Our recovery program is one these things. When we play with our program, we’re taking a risk. We play with the program by missing meetings. Or by not calling our sponsors. Or by skipping the Steps we think are to hard. It’s okay to play. But it’s not okay to play with our program, we risk our lives.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll make two list. On one list, I’ll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I’ll write ways I play with my program. And I’ll put my energy into working the program.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

The same ideas that you weren’t sure about a few days ago now appear to be the shiniest of stars beaming at you. Your confidence inspires others to respond enthusiastically when you share your plans, which in turn, validates your ambitious intentions. However, your current originality can overshadow your common sense. Don’t trade in a practical plan for an ingenious one that won’t work. Your success depends upon setting goals that are flexible and attainable.

DR – Jan 13, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 13, 2017

Daily Reflection

IT DOESN’T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

The most common alcoholic fantasy seems to be: “If I just don’t drink, everything will be all right.” Once the fog cleared for me, I saw—for the first time—the mess my life had become. I had family, work, financial and legal problems; I was hung up on old religious ideas; there were sides of my character to which I was inclined to stay blind because they easily could have convinced me that I was hopeless and pushed me toward escape again. The Big Book guided me in resolving all of my problems. But it didn’t happen overnight—and certainly not automatically—with no effort on my part. I need always to recognize God’s mercy and blessings that shine through any problem I have to face.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

 “…with us, to drink is to die.” 

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 66~

Keep It Simple

The junkie can never start to cure himself until he recognizes his true condition.—-Malcoln X

Now we know what the problem is. Now we can do something about it. The truth of our problem is, we can’t handle alcohol or other drugs. They handle us. They control us. The Steps ask us to face the truth.

And the truth sets us free. What a wonderful gift! We feared the truth, but now it’s our friend. It’s a relief.

Facing the truth means we’re honest. And honestly is our best friend in recovery. It’s like a cozy fire on a winter’s night. Honesty is how we get well. It’s also what will keep us well. Do I truly believe I can’t use alcohol or other drugs?

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll make two list, On one list, I’ll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I’ll write way I play with my program. And I’ll put my energy into working the program.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It’s no fun when your coworkers make demands on your time, especially when you think they are being unreasonable. You know what needs to be done now and prefer to just get on with it. Unfortunately, things aren’t flowing easily because people seem to be slightly misguided today. Nevertheless, it’s not your job to straighten out anyone else when there’s still plenty of unfinished business on your plate. Successful people never worry about what others are doing because they are too busy being successful.

DR – Jan 12, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 12, 2017

Daily Reflection

ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.

Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built.

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 44

When I am having a difficult time accepting people, places or events, I turn to this passage and it relieves me of many an underlying fear regarding others, or situations life presents me. The thought allows me to be human and not perfect, and to regain my peace of mind.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people´s shortcomings and viewpoints and a  respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 19~

Keep It Simple

Remember always that you have not only the right to be individual, you have an obligation to be one. –Eleamnor Roosevelt

When we were using alcohol and other drugs, we often thought that we were different from others. We secretly thought that no one could understand us. Maybe we tried to be one of the group, but we were lonely. Now we know for sure–we are different from others. Everyone’s unique. We all have this in common. Being like others helps us feel safe and normal. But we need to feel good about the ways we’re different from others too. We think a little different, act a little different, and look a little different from anyone else. We each have our own way to make life better for others.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me be an individual. Help me use my special gifts, not hide them.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll make a list of the things I’m good at. I’ll think about how I can use these gifts.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

There is no room for lazy thinking or careless communication today, so express yourself with authority or keep your thoughts to yourself. Although a lack of planning and commitment may put control in someone else’s hands, the nurturing Cancer Full Moon in your sign reminds you to consider your own needs before trying to meet the expectations of others. Making the satisfaction of a lover, friend or coworker your top priority will only leave you in second place. You can’t pour from an empty cup; take care of yourself first.

DR – Jan 11, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings
January 9, 2017

AA – Daily Reflection

THE 100% STEP
Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection. — TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 68
Long before I was able to obtain sobriety in A.A., I knew without a doubt that alcohol was killing me, yet even with this knowledge, I was unable to stop drinking. So, when faced with Step One, I found it easy to admit that I lacked the power to not drink. But was my life unmanageable? Never! Five months after coming into A.A., I was drinking again and wondered why.

Later on, back in A.A. and smarting from my wounds, I learned that Step One is the only Step that can be taken 100%. And that the only way to take it 100% is to take 100% of the Step. That was many twenty-four hours ago and I haven’t had to take Step One again.

 

Big Book Quote of the Day

“When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and
physically.” ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, Page 64~

Keep it Simple

If there is a harder way of doing something, someone will find it.—Ralph E. Ross

When we used alcohol or other drugs, we did most things the hard way. We could turn a simple task into a day-long project. We could turn a simple problem into an argument. We were creative giants in doing things the hard way! we need to change this. We deserve easier lives. It’s okay to take the smooth road .

In our program ,We have slogans for this: Keep It Simple, Let Go and Let God, First Things First, and Easy Does It. These slogans remind us that it’s okay to live with as little trouble as possible.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, show me how to live a simple life. I don’t have to do everything the hard way if I listen better to You.

Action for the Day:
I’ll list three or four things I do that makes my life harder than it needs to be. I’ll share them with a friend.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Stretching yourself to reach for a higher prize is a sound tactic as long as you carefully calculate the cost of fulfilling your dreams. However, you’re challenged to maintain a sensible perspective now because an inflationary Sun-Jupiter square dares you to overstep your limits. Your emotions are powerful today and it may require extra effort to keep them in line. Revealing your innermost thoughts can make others uncomfortable, prompting them to withdraw. Keep your fears to yourself; everyone, including you, is entitled to take a step back in order to create breathing room.

Have Some Cheese with the Whine

Caution:  Rant forthcoming . . .

If you don’t like people that whine – DO NOT read this post.  On the other hand, if you’re a recovering addict, or would like to have a glimpse into my mind, by all means pull up a chair for a LONG READ.  This is ME talking to MYSELF but posted for those that are interested.

I’m bitch, crabby, frustrated, angry and down-right pissed off at the world.  But a DRINK(s) is not going to solve my problems.  I will do my best with the tools of life that I’ve been given.  Hopefully, if you do read this in its entirety, an example of how a recovering addict deals with life.

My previous career, working in the chemical dependency field as a Program Aide in a medically supervised detox center, abruptly came to end in March 2016.  But I saw it coming and didn’t do anything about it.  I was simply burned out and didn’t give a rat’s ass (I let my mouth run amuck), so I was terminated.

It turned out to be the best decision (for both parties), just the wrong way of doing it.

In September, after the recommendation of fellow nurses that I worked with, I was accepted into a Certified Nursing Assistant’s training program.  At the beginning of November 2016, I passed the New York State exam and received my license.  I promised myself no matter what happened I would not repeat the past.  Oh, I try – every day.

Knowing I’m the lowest one on the totem pole I’ve accepted a few things.  There is a terrible staffing problem on my shift (almost, if not all, the 3 – 11pm staff was quit or been terminated). From what I’ve learned, this is the norm.  I worked Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day 2016.  Accepted, I’m new.  The gossip among employees is just extreme as I’ve seen in other employers.  I expected to get treated like crap by fellow co-workers.  Yup, that happens.  Management, umm…, let’s just not go there.  Along with a whole list of other things.

Scheduling is madness.  The last two weeks I’ve worked six days out of seven, each week.  New Years, I volunteered – my bad.  A old habit of feeling guilty for fellow employees.  This week, I wasn’t even asked, just scheduled.  I haven’t had a full weekend to myself since the Stone Age. Lastly, I won’t be able to take a vacation until after a full year of employment.

Lately, my mouth keeps opening instead of staying shut.  But like many, “I just don’t care.”  Honestly, (sorry for the cliché – “I would if I could, but I can’t . . .) leaving should be on my agenda but I’m just four months in a new career with a new employer.  I enjoy my job and the residents.  I am NOT going to let management, fellow employees or certain circumstances ruin it for me.

But I’m also not going to be quiet about it.  I can’t and I won’t.  There is no point to bring up issues to the “higher ups” because, honestly, they don’t care.  Been there, done that, nothing’s been done.  It reminds me of this saying, “doing something different, yet expecting the same results” – the definition of INSANITY.

So, it’s a very difficult time for me.  No, I’m not going to drink.  What is that going to solve?  These issues are going to be there in the morning, the day after, many more moons after that.  I remind myself of various slogans, “Let it Go”, “One Day at a Time”, the Serenity Prayer – 1000 times a day, “Let Go, Let God (or in my case, my Higher Power), as well as a host of others.  But those aren’t the answer.  Then the light bulb goes on . . .

You need a f**king meeting!!  Honestly, I haven’t been to one in a couple of months.  I know – I’m calling the kettle black.  I preach all this sobriety knowledge and don’t follow my own advice.  But here I’m going to throw EXCUSES.  There are not many people that have long term sobriety in this community.  Since working in the recovery community I know a lot of people, so meetings tend to be a waste of time.  Another EXCUSE – the weather sucks.  It’s sleet/rainy, the roads are slick, so I can’t travel out of time. I’ll figure something out even if its local.  I need a meeting.

OK, I’m done.  I guess I needed to get that out.  Feel much better . . .

Now to find something to do (i.e. read a book, clean up clutter, etc.) to get my mind off this crap and get me in a good mood.  Perhaps take a nap, then go to a meeting later tonight.  I don’t know.  I’m being a lazy SOB because I deserve to be today.