Daily Recovery Readings
April 8, 2024

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Daily Reflection

AN INSIDE LOOK

“We want to find exactly how, when, and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 43

Today I am no longer a slave to alcohol, yet in so many ways enslavement still threatens—my self, my desires, even my dreams. Yet without dreams I cannot exist; without dreams there is nothing to keep me moving forward.

I must look inside myself, to free myself. I must call upon God’s power to face the person I’ve feared the most, the true me, the person God created me to be. Unless I can or until I do, I will always be running, and never be truly free. I ask God daily to show me such a freedom!

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“Neither could we reduce our self centerdness much by wishing or trying on our own power. We had to have God’s help.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Second, alcoholics recover their faith in a Power greater than themselves. They admit that they’re helpless by themselves and they call on that Higher Power for help. They surrender their lives to God, as they understand Him. They put their drink problem in God’s hands and leave it there. They recover their faith in a Higher Power that can help them. Have I recovered my faith?

Meditation for the Day

You must make a stand for God. Believers in God are considered by some as peculiar people. You must even be willing to be deemed a fool for the sake of your faith. You must be ready to stand aside and let the fashions and customs of the world go by, when God’s purposes are thereby forwarded. Be known by the marks that distinguish a believer in God. These are honesty, purity, unselfishness, love, gratitude, and humility.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be ready to profess my belief in God before others. I pray that I may not be turned aside by the skepticism and cynicism of unbelievers.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Self Care

“I don’t precisely know what you need to do to take care of yourself. But I know you can figure it out.”

—Beyond Codependency

Rest when you’re tired.

Take a drink of cold water when you’re thirsty.

Call a friend when you’re lonely.

Ask God to help when you feel overwhelmed.

Many of us have learned how to deprive and neglect ourselves. Many of us have learned to push ourselves hard, when the problem is that were already pushed too hard.

Many of us are afraid the work wont get done if we rest when were tired. The work will get done; it will be done better than work that emerges from tiredness of soul and spirit. Nurtured, nourished people, who love themselves and care for themselves, are the delight of the Universe.

They are well timed, efficient, and Divinely led.

Today, I will practice loving self-care.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“I’m not into isms and asms. There isn’t a Catholic moon and a Baptist sun. I know the universal God is universal…. I feel that the same God force that is the mother and father of the pope is also the mother and father of the loneliest wino on the planet.”

—Dick Gregory

In this program we seek conscious contact with God as we understand God. Some people understand God in very specific ways as a Jewish God, or a Christian God, or Moslem Allah. Others understand God in very general and unspecific ways. To some, God is the spirit of group relationships, the deeper consciousness of each man, or the whole of creation. When the word God is used in this program, it respects the different knowing of each person.

Whatever understanding a man has, this program includes his perspective. It dictates none. This is a spiritual program, not a religious one. We often see our Higher Power was with us as a helpful force, long before we knew about it.

Today, I am grateful for God’s care. May I learn to increase in trust and knowledge of God.

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Elder’s Meditation

“The very dust under your feet responds more lovingly to our footsteps than to yours, because it is the ashes of our ancestors, and our bare feet are conscious of the sympathetic touch, for the soil is rich with the life of our kindred.”

–Chief Seattle, SUQUAMISH

If you respect something, it will respect you back. If your ancestors respected something, the future generations will be respected back. The Indian ancestors always showed great respect for the Earth. That’s why the Earth is so respectful to Indians today. Every Indian naturally feels connectedness to the Earth. We know the Earth holds our ancestors. If we continue to respect Mother Earth, our children will benefit and so will our grand- children. Today, we should think about and pray for our Mother Earth.

Grandmother, let me have strong feelings for our Earth today.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re rising through the ranks. It might be that you’re receiving increased responsibilities in your career, or that you’re trying to juggle more activities in your routine — regardless, there’s ultimately more that you’re trying to achieve. This can be good, but make sure that you don’t overdo things while you’re feeling on top of the world and ready to conquer anything. Build in downtime so that your goals stay sustainable, even once you’re no longer feeling so energetic in later days.

Daily Recovery Readings
April 7, 2024

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Daily Reflection

A WIDE ARC OF GRATITUDE

“And, speaking for Dr. Bob and myself, I gratefully declare that had it not been for our wives, Anne and Lois, neither of us could have lived to see AA’s beginning.”

— THE A.A. WAY OF LIFE, p. 67

Am I capable of such generous tribute and gratitude to my wife, parents and friends, without whose support I might never have survived to reach A.A.’s doors? I will work on this and try to see the plan my Higher Power is showing me which links our lives together.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 75

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

In A.A. alcoholics find a way to solve their personality problems. They do this by recovering three things. First, they recover their personal integrity. They pull them selves together. They get honest with them selves and with other people. They face themselves and their problems honestly, instead of running away. They take a personal inventory of themselves to see where they really stand. Then they face the facts instead of making excuses for themselves. Have I recovered my integrity?

Meditation for the Day

When trouble comes, do not say: “Why should this happen to me?” Leave yourself out of the picture. Think of other people and their troubles and you will forget about your own. Gradually get away from yourself and you will know the consolation of unselfish service to others. After a while, it will not matter so much what happens to you. It is not so important any more, except as your experience can be used to help others who are in the same kind of trouble.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may become more unselfish. I pray that I may not be thrown off the track by letting the old selfishness creep back into my life.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Those Old Time Feelings

“I still have bad days. But that’s okay. I used to have bad years.” —Anonymous

Sometimes, the old feelings creep back in. We may feel fearful, ashamed, and hopeless. We may feel not good enough, unlovable, victimized, helpless, and resentful about it all. This is codependency, a condition some describe as soul sickness.

Many of us felt this way when we began recovery. Sometimes, we slip back into these feelings after we’ve begun recovery. Sometimes there’s a reason. An event may trigger these reactions, such as ending a relationship, stress, problems on the job, at home, or in friendships. Times of change can trigger these reactions. So can physical illness.

Sometimes, these feelings return for no reason.

A return to the old feelings doesn’t mean were back to square one in our recovery. They do not mean we’ve failed at recovery. They do not mean were in for a long, painful session of feeling badly. They just are there.

The solution is the same: practicing the basics. Some of the basics are loving and trusting our self, detachment, dealing with feelings, giving and receiving support in the recovery community, using our affirmations, and having fun.

Another basic is working the Steps. Often, working the Steps is how we become enabled and empowered to practice the other basics, such as detachment and self-love.

If the old feelings come back, know for certain there is a way out that will work.

Today, if I find myself in the dark pit of codependency, I will work a Step to help myself climb out.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“Adversity introduces a man to himself.” —Anonymous

After difficult or challenging times we often say, “I never would have chosen to go through that, but I learned a lot from it.” It could be a job situation, a failed relationship, or trouble with the law. When we bump up against something hard something that pushes back at us, our strength is tested, forcing us to draw on unknown reserves. A mountain climber standing on a safe ledge finds it difficult to move forward onto a more frightening spot. After he has completed the route, he looks back and feels good about himself because he met a challenge. We meet these challenges in many ways in our lives, and they help us build our self-respect.

Whatever difficulty is facing us today, we may have to deal with it ourselves, but we do not have to be alone while we do it. We can reach out for support while we do what we must. This difficulty is part of being human and can help us see more fully who we are.

I pray for the courage to face my adversity when I must and the ability to learn from it.

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Elder’s Meditation

“Women. They have the power of generations. Women have the power to have children and not to have children.” – Cecilia Mitchell, Mohawk

The woman is not only the key to life: she is also the key to future generations. An elder once joked that the Woman only needs the man for one night. We need to look at and respect the power of the Woman. She is special and we need to treat her that way.

Great Spirit, today, let me show the greatest respect to our Woman.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Material security is within your grasp. It’s a good time to put yourself up for promotions, raises, or monetary opportunities that you’re interested in, since there’s a stronger chance of receiving abundant offers and gaining useful knowledge than usual. If you’re hiding your head in the sand and avoiding stepping into your power, then you’re more likely to struggle and feel despondent in the future. Instead of allowing your soul to wallow in stagnancy, go for the gold and quit counting yourself out!

Daily Recovery Readings
April 6, 2024

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Daily Reflection

A LIFETIME PROCESS

“We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people. . . .”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 52

These words remind me that I have more problems than alcohol, that alcohol is only a symptom of a more pervasive disease. When I stopped drinking I began a lifetime process of recovery from unruly emotions, painful relationships, and unmanageable situations. This process is too much for most of us without help from a Higher Power and our friends in the Fellowship. When I began working the Steps of the A.A. program, many of these tangled threads unraveled but, little by little, the most broken places of my life straightened out. One day at a time, almost imperceptibly, I healed. Like a thermostat being turned down, my fears diminished. I began to experience moments of contentment. My emotions became less volatile. I am now once again a part of the human family.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“…with us, to drink is to die.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 66~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

All alcoholics have personality problems. They drink to escape from life, to counter act feelings of loneliness or inferiority, or because of some emotional conflict within them, so that they cannot adjust themselves to life. Alcoholics cannot stop drinking unless they find a way to solve their personality problems. That’s why going on the wagon doesn’t solve anything. That’s why taking the pledge usually doesn’t work. Was my personality problem ever solved by going on the wagon or taking the pledge?

Meditation for the Day

God irradiates your life with the warmth of His spirit. You must open up like a flower to this divine irradiation. Loosen your hold on earth, its cares, and its worries. Unclasp your hold on material things, relax your grip, and the tide of peace and serenity will flow in. Relinquish every material thing and receive it back again from God. Do not hold on to earth’s treasures so firmly that your hands are too occupied to clasp God’s hands as He holds them out to you in love.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be open to receive God’s blessing. I pray that I may be willing to relinquish my hold on material things and receive them back from God.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Patience

How sick and tired we may become of people telling us to be patient or to learn patience. How frustrating it can be to want to finally have something, or to move forward, and then not have that happen. How irritating to have someone tell us to wait while our needs have not been met and were in the midst of anxiety, frustration, and inaction.

Do not confuse the suggestion to be patient with the old rule about not having feelings.

Being patient does not mean we go through the sometimes-grueling process of life and recovery without having feelings! Feel the frustration. Feel the impatience. Get as angry as you need to about not having your needs met. Feel your fear.

Controlling our feelings will not control the process!

We find patience by surrendering to our feelings. Patience cannot be forced. It is a gift, one that closely follows acceptance and gratitude. When we work through our feelings to fully accept who we are and what we have, we will be ready to be and have more.

Today, I will let myself have my feelings while I practice patience.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“I had gone through life thinking I was better than everyone else and at the same time, being afraid of everyone. I was afraid to be me.”

—Dennis Wholey

Looking back to the codependent or addictive times in our lives, we see with the perfect vision of hindsight. It is both embarrassing and humorous to see how misguided and deluded we were then. Grandiose images of ourselves isolated us from those around us and cut us off from true friendships with others. Many of us had strong feelings about ourselves that were in conflict – we felt both special and unworthy.

In this program we grow over time to have a more realistic self-concept. We are not exactly like everyone else, but we are more like them than different. It’s okay to be like others, and it’s comforting, too. Accepting this, we grow fully into the whole men we were meant to be, and we relish the joy of friendship.

May I accept the guidance of my Higher Power in developing a realistic and comfortable self-image.

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Elder’s Meditation

“Everybody should pray together, cheer along, root along. That brings the circle together. Everything is together.”

— Wallace Black Elk, LAKOTA

Life on the Earth can sometimes be very complicated. Sometimes we think we are alone in our problems. Sometime we even withdraw. Then the problems become even more difficult. We need to watch out for one another, to care for one another, to pray together, to encourage one another; and we need to support one another. Behaving in this manner will bring the circle together.

Great Spirit, today, let me support my brothers and sisters.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re thinking outside the box. No matter how many responsibilities are on your to-do list, you can check them all off with style when you think about them differently, in a way that invites more security in the process. It may be that you’re streamlining your tasks in order to increase efficiency and end up with more free time, or you might be reevaluating what really needs to be done every day. Careers can have extra benefits now, too, so give it your all!

Daily Recovery Readings
April 5, 2024

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Daily Reflection

TRUE BROTHERHOOD

“We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53

This message contained in Step Four was the first one I heard loud and clear; I hadn’t seen myself in print before! Prior to my coming into A.A., I knew of no place that could teach me how to become a person among persons. From my very first meeting, I saw people doing just that and I wanted what they had. One of the reasons that I’m a happy, sober alcoholic today is that I’m learning this most important lesson.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, Page 64~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

People often ask what makes the A.A. pro gram work. One of the answers is that A.A. works because it gets a person away from himself as the center of the universe. And it teaches him to rely more on the fellow ship of others and on strength from God. Forgetting ourselves in fellowship, prayer, and working with others is what makes the A.A. program work. Are these things keeping me sober?

Meditation for the Day

God is the great interpreter of one human personality to another. Even personalities who are the nearest together have much in their natures that re mains a sealed book to each other. And only as God enters and controls their lives are the mysteries of each revealed to the other. Each personality is so different. God alone understands perfectly the language of each and can interpret between the two. Here we find the miracles of change and the true interpretation of life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be in the right relationship to God. I pray that God will interpret to me the personalities of other people, so that I can understand them and help them.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Detaching in Love

Detachment is a key to recovery from codependency. It strengthens our healthy relationships – the ones that we want to grow and flourish. It benefits our difficult relationships – the ones that are teaching us to cope. It helps us!

Detachment is not something we do once. It’s a daily behavior in recovery. We learn it when were beginning our recovery from codependency and adult children issues. And we continue to practice it along the way as we grow and change, and as our relationships grow and change.

We learn to let go of people we love, people we like, and those we don’t particularly care for. We separate ourselves, and our process, from others and their process.

We relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same. We detach with the understanding that life is unfolding exactly as it needs to, for others and ourselves. The way life unfolds is good, even when it hurts. And ultimately, we can benefit from even the most difficult situations. We do this with the understanding that a Power greater than ourselves is in charge, and all is well.

Today, I will apply the concept of detachment, to the best of my ability, in my relationships. If I cant let go completely, Ill try to hang on loose.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.”

—Mark Twain

Feelings of anger are a knotty problem for many men. Some of us as children were injured or so frightened by an angry adult that we have instinctively avoided anger ever since. Or we have been appalled by ourselves when we lost control of our anger. Still, we are taught that it is masculine to be aggressive. Some of us have tried so hard to squelch our anger that we don’t even know when we feel it. We treat anger like a rejected child once rejected we no longer have good discipline over it. So it comes out in hurtful jokes and sarcastic comments, or bursts out of us in scary and destructive ways.

For some of us, overly controlled anger turns inward against ourselves. We get physically ill or depressed and self-hating. Every recovering man needs an honest relationship with his anger. We must acknowledge this feeling within us when it is there. It is healthy to express anger directly, honestly, and respectfully.

Thanks to God for the richness of my emotional life. Today, I will notice my feelings of anger and accept them so I can learn to relate to them.

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Elder’s Meditation

“As we plunge ahead to build empires and race for supremacy we should stop and listen to [the female] song of life. For without the female there is no life.”

— Oren R. Lyons, Spokesman, Traditional Circle of Elders

Women are created with the ability to produce life. Women have a special tie to the Earth Mother. They have something in common. They are the source of life. The Earth Mother gives songs to the Woman to sing. These songs are about life, about beauty, about children, about love, about family, about strength, about caring, about nurturing, about forgiveness, about God. The World needs to pay attention and listen to Her. She knows.

Great Spirit, let me listen to Her songs.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re thinking outside the box. No matter how many responsibilities are on your to-do list, you can check them all off with style when you think about them differently, in a way that invites more security in the process. It may be that you’re streamlining your tasks in order to increase efficiency and end up with more free time, or you might be reevaluating what really needs to be done every day. Careers can have extra benefits now, too, so give it your all!

Daily Recovery Readings
April 4, 2024

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Daily Reflection

CRYING FOR THE MOON

“This very real feeling of inferiority is magnified by his childish sensitivity and it is this state of affairs which generates in him that insatiable, abnormal craving for self-approval and success in the eyes of the world. Still a child, he cries for the moon. And the moon, it seems, won’t have him!”

— THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 102

While drinking I seemed to vacillate between feeling totally invisible and believing I was the center of the universe. Searching for that elusive balance between the two has become a major part of my recovery. The moon I constantly cried for is, in sobriety, rarely full; it shows me instead its many other phases, and there are lessons in them all. True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, Page 83~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

When I came into A.A., I found men and women who had been through the same things I had been through. But now they were thinking more about how they could help others than they were about themselves. They were a lot more unselfish than I ever was. By coming to meetings and associating with them, I began to think a little less about myself and a little more about other people. I also learned that I didn’t have to depend on myself alone to get out of the mess I was in. I could get a greater strength than my own. Am I now depending less on myself and more on God?

Meditation for the Day

You cannot help others unless you understand the person you are trying to help. To understand the problems and temptations of others, you must have been through them yourself. You must do all you can to understand others. You must study their backgrounds, their likes and dislikes, their reactions and their prejudices. When you see their weaknesses, do not confront the person with them. Share your own weaknesses, sins, and temptations and let other people find their own convictions.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may serve as a channel for God’s power to come into the lives of others. I pray that I may try to understand them.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Negotiating Conflicts

Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It’s about building and maintaining relationships that work.

—Beyond Codependency

Problems and conflicts are part of life and relationships – with friends, family, loved ones, and at work – problem-solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.

Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. Often, there are workable options for solving problems that we will not even see until we become open to the concept of working through problems in relationships, rather than running from the problems.

To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don’t waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.

We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible. Committed, intimate relationships mean two people are learning to work together through their problems and conflicts in ways that work in both people’s best interest.

Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem-solving efforts.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“What is obvious to me is that we did not create ourselves… life is something inside of you. You did not create it. Once you understand that, you are in a spiritual realm.”

—Virginia Satir

We do not belong to ourselves, but to the universe. No man planned to come into existence; he just happened to find himself here. We are the expressions of a life force whose beginnings are in the forgotten past. What does this mean on a practical level for how we will live today? For one thing, maybe we don’t need to take ourselves so seriously. And we certainly are not to judge our existence. We have a right to be here, just as everyone does.

We can live this day fully and not hold ourselves back. We may work hard, play, and enjoy it. We need not rein in or attempt to control this force, which so far exceeds our individual powers. Rather, today we can learn to flow with the current.

Today, may I remember my Higher Power is within every cell of my being, whether I notice it or not.

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Elder’s Meditation

“You can pray for whatever you want, but it is always best to pray for others, not for yourself.”

–John Fire Lame Deer, LAKOTA

When you are selfish and you pray, you are requesting things to flow only to you. When you are selfless, you are praying for things to flow to others. The old ones say this is the highest form of prayer. Praying this way is according to the Natural Laws.

Great Spirit, today, let my thoughts be about others.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

 Positivity is powerful, Cancer — even if others are overlooking your value. Whether they’re the ones who are passing you over, or they’re your competition, certain people may either see you as a threat or simply dismiss you out of distraction or confusion. You’re allowed to feel hurt, but try not to let them keep you down. Even if it is a difficult blow in the short term, you’ve still got time and options available to you. Dust yourself off and try again!

Daily Recovery Readings
April 3, 2024

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Daily Reflection

ACCEPTING OUR HUMANNESS

“We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the other man’s. So we admitted our wrongs honestly and became willing to set these matters straight.”

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 222

Why is it that the alcoholic is so unwilling to accept responsibility? I used to drink because of the things that other people did to me. Once I came to A.A. I was told to look at where I had been wrong. What did I have to do with all these different matters? When I simply accepted that I had a part in them, I was able to put it on paper and see it for what it was-humanness. I am not expected to be perfect! I have made errors before and I will make them again. To be honest about them allows me to accept them-and myself-and those with whom I had the differences; from there, recovery is just a short distance ahead.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, Page 75~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

When I was drinking, I was absolutely selfish, I thought of myself first, last, and always. The universe revolved around me at the center. When I woke up in the morning with a hangover, my only thought was how terrible I felt and about what I could do to make myself feel better. And the only thing I could think of was more liquor. To quit was impossible. I couldn’t see beyond myself and my own need for another drink. Can I now look out and beyond my own selfishness?

Meditation for the Day

Remember that the first quality of greatness is service. In a way, God is the greatest servant of all, because He is always waiting for us to call on Him to help us in all good endeavor. His strength is always available to us, but we must ask it of Him through our own free will. It is a free gift, but we must sincerely seek for it. A life of service is the finest life we can live. We are here on earth to serve others. That is the beginning and the end of our real worth.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may cooperate with God in all good things. I pray that I may serve God and others and so lead a useful and happy life.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Acceptance

Surrender to the moment. Ride it out and through, for all it’s worth. Throw yourself into it.

Stop resisting.

So much of our anguish is created when we are in resistance. So much relief, release, and change are possible when we accept, simply accept.

We waste our time, expend our energy, and make things harder by resisting, repressing, and denying. Repressing our thoughts will not make them disappear. Repressing a thought already formed will not make us a better person. Think it. Let it come into reality. Then release it. A thought is not forever. If we don’t like it, we can think another one or change it. But to do that, we must accept and release the first thought.

Resistance and repression will not change a thing. They will put us at war with our thoughts.

We make life harder by resisting and repressing our feelings. No matter how dark, how uncomfortable, how unjustified, how surprising, how inappropriate we might deem our feelings, resisting and repressing them will not free us from them. Doing that will make them worse. They will swirl inside us, torment us, make us sick, and make our body ache, compel us to do compulsive things, keep us awake, or put us to sleep.

In the final analysis, all that we’re really called on to do is accept our feelings by feeling them, and saying, Yes, this is what I feel.

Feelings are for the present moment. The more quickly we can accept a feeling, the more quickly we will move on to the next.

Resisting or repressing thoughts and feelings does not change us or turn us into the person we want to be or think we should be. It puts us in resistance to reality. It makes us repressed. Eventually, it makes us depressed.

Resisting events or circumstances in our life does not change things, no matter how undesirable the events or circumstances may be.

Acceptance turns us into the person we are and want to be. Acceptance empowers the events and circumstances to turn around for the better.

What do we do if we’re in resistance, in a tug of war with some reality in our life? Accepting our resistance can help us get through that too.

Acceptance does not mean we’re giving our approval. It does not mean surrendering to the will and plans of another. It does not mean commitment. It is not forever. It is for the present moment. Acceptance does not make things harder; it makes things easier. Acceptance does not mean we accept abuse or mistreatment; it does not mean we forego boundaries, our hopes, dreams, desires, wants, or ourselves. It means we accept what is, so we know what to do to take care of ourselves and what boundaries we need to set. It means we accept what is and who we are at the moment, so we are free to change and grow.

Acceptance and surrender move us forward on this journey. Force does not work.

Acceptance and surrender – two concepts that hurt the most before we do them.

Today, I will practice accepting my present circumstances and myself. I will begin to watch and trust the magic that acceptance can bring into my life and recovery.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“If we were logical, the future would be bleak indeed. But we are more than logical. We are human beings, and we have faith, and we have hope, and we can work.”

—Jacques Cousteau

What is faith? It is believing in possibilities. It is the ability to carry on with our plans or to be true to our work even though we feel discouraged or tired. It is staying active in relationships even when we receive little in return or when our friends aren’t able to respond.

If there were no doubt, there would be no need for faith. Faith is temporarily putting our doubts on the shelf and working toward our goals. Faith is trusting that help and support will be there for us even though they’re not in view. It is looking at a map and choosing a new destination, getting on the road to go there, and trusting the marks on the map symbolize a real place that we will find.

I will leave room for my doubts and discouragement, but I will not indulge them. I will choose to go with hope. I will give my energy to the better possibilities.

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Elder’s Meditation

“We know that in all creation, only the human family has strayed from the Sacred Way.”

–OJIBWA Prayer

How have we gotten so far off track? What has happened to us? What is happening to our family? How did it happen so quickly? Every individual needs to answer these questions for themselves. What do we need to do to start living the Sacred Way again? Pray! Today I will start praying. I pray the Creator will lead all Native People to a great healing. I pray we’ll be free from alcohol and drugs. I pray we will return to the culture, to spirituality and to unity.

My Mother, help us to heal ourselves. Make us strong again.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You might feel more sensitive to the emotions of others currently. They may appreciate your open-minded approach to listening to them, and in turn, are sensitive to you as well. You could discover that cathartic conversations can take place throughout the day, letting you learn a lot about people. Even so, there is a tendency to obsess or to be obsessed over, so stay aware of how the energy between you shifts. Above all, don’t share their information with anyone else afterward!

Daily Recovery Readings
April 2, 2024

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Daily Reflection

CHARACTER BUILDING

“Demands made upon other people for too much attention, protection, and love can only invite domination or revulsion. . . .”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 44

When I uncovered my need for approval in the Fourth Step, I didn’t think it should rank as a character defect. I wanted to think of it more as an asset (that is, the desire to please people). It was quickly pointed out to me that this “need” can be very crippling. Today I still enjoy getting the approval of others, but I am not willing to pay the price I used to pay to get it. I will not bend myself into a pretzel to get others to like me. If I get your approval, that’s fine; but if I don’t, I will survive without it. I am responsible for speaking what I perceive to be the truth, not what I think others may want to hear.

Similarly, my false pride always kept me overly concerned about my reputation. Since being enlightened in the A.A. program, my aim is to improve my character.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, Page 46~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Since I’ve been in A.A., have I made a start towards becoming more loving to my family and friends? Do I visit my parents? Am I more appreciative of my spouse than I was before? Am I grateful to my family for having put up with me? Have I found real understanding with my children? Do I feel that the friends I’ve found in A.A. are real friends? Do I believe that they are always ready to help me and do I want to help them if I can? Do I really care now about other people?

Meditation for the Day

Not what you do so much as what you are, that is the miracle-working power. You can be a force for good, with the help of God. God is here to help you and to bless you, here to company with you. You can be a worker with God. Changed by God’s grace, you shed one garment of the spirit for a better one. In time, you throw that one aside for a yet finer one. And so from character to character, you are gradually transformed.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may accept every challenge. I pray that each acceptance of a challenge may make me grow into a better person.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Facing Our Darker Side

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

—Step Four of Al-Anon

By the time we get to the Fourth of the Twelve Steps, we are ready to face our darker side, the side that prevents us from loving others, from letting others love us, and from enjoying life and ourselves. The purpose of Step Four is not to make ourselves feel worse; our purpose is to begin to remove our blocks to joy and love.

We look for fears, anger, hurt, and shame from past events – buried feelings that may be affecting our life today. We search for subconscious beliefs about others and ourselves that may be interfering with the quality of our relationships. These beliefs say: I’m not lovable . . . I’m a burden to those around me . . . People can’t be trusted . . . I can’t be trusted . . . I don’t deserve to be happy and successful . . . Life isn’t worth living. We look at our behaviors and patterns with an eye toward discerning the self-defeating ones. With love and compassion for ourselves, we try to unearth all our guilt – earned and unearned – and expose it to the light.

We perform this examination without fear of what we shall find, because this soul searching can cleanse us and help us feel better about ourselves than we ever dreamt possible.

God, help me search out the blocks and barriers within myself. Bring what I need to know into my conscious mind, so I can be free of it. Show me what I need to know about myself.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“The universe is the primary revelation of the divine, the primary scripture, the primary focus of divine human communion.”

—Thomas Berry

In this program we learn about being receptive. A man in search of conscious contact with a Higher Power can simply stand still and open his eyes and ears to creation. Forcing a spiritual awareness is mostly wasted effort. Learning theology doesn’t create a spiritual experience either. We only need to see and hear what is around us. This is a vast and marvelous universe, and it speaks for itself. It has always been there, and when we are ready to receive the message, we will.

It stirs our spirit to be at a meeting and hear another man describe the awakening of his spirituality. As we men become more receptive to the spiritual, we open a whole new realm in our lives.

May my growing ability to be a receptive man lead me to a deeper spiritual contact.

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Elder’s Meditation

“With children we always have to think about seven generations to come but yet unborn.”

–Janice Sundown Hattet, SENECA

What we do today will effect the children seven generations form now. How we treat the Mother Earth will affect the children yet to be born. If we poison the water today, our children’s children will be affected by the decision we made. Our children are the gateway to the future. Let us conscientiously think about the children and the seven generations to come.

My Creator, I thank you for my ancestors, seven generations ago.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Teaching might be your calling for the time being. You might not be a teacher, but you still have valuable knowledge! During contemplative Luna’s trine to surprising Uranus, a peer could ask you for help with academic work, or they might be newly interested in a subject that you’re already a semi-expert in. While collaborating with someone else would definitely take time out of your day, there are potential future benefits in giving this person the education that they’re asking you for.

Daily Recovery Readings
April 1, 2024

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Daily Reflection

LOOKING WITHIN

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 42

Step Four is the vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what the liabilities in each of us have been, and are. I want to find exactly how, when, and where my natural desires have warped me. I wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and myself. By discovering what my emotional deformities are, I can move toward their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for me.

To resolve ambivalent feelings, I need to feel a strong and helpful sense of myself. Such an awareness doesn’t happen overnight, and no one’s self-awareness is permanent. Everyone has the capacity for growth, and for self-awareness, through an honest encounter with reality. When I don’t avoid issues but meet them directly, always trying to re-solve them, they become fewer and fewer.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, Page 30~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Since I’ve been in A.A., have I made a start towards becoming more honest? Do I no longer have to lie to my husband or wife? Do I try to have meals on time, and do I try to earn what I make at work? Am I trying to be honest? Have I faced myself as I really am and have I admitted to myself that I’m no good by myself, but have to rely on God to help me do the right thing? Am I beginning to find out what it means to be alive and to face the world honestly and without fear?

Meditation for the Day

God is all around us. His spirit pervades the universe. And yet we often do not let His spirit in. We try to get along without His help and we make a mess of our lives. We can do nothing of any value without God’s help. All our human relationships depend on this. When we let God’s spirit rule our lives, we learn how to get along with others and how to help them.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may let God run my life. I pray that I will never again make a mess of my life through trying to run it myself.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Going Easy

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don’t have to push so hard. Go in gentleness – go in peace.

Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace.

Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.

Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.

Let the pace flow naturally. Move forward. Start. Keep moving forward. Do it gently, though. Do it in peace. Cherish each moment.

Today, God, help me focus on a peaceful pace rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. Help me let go of my need to be anxious, upset, and harried. Help me replace it with a need to be a peace and in harmony.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“Any idea, person or object can be a Medicine Wheel, a mirror for man. The tiniest flower can be such a mirror, as can a wolf, a story, a touch, a religion, or a mountaintop.”

—Hyemeyohsts Storm

The ancient spiritual teachings of the Cheyenne Indians tell us that we meet ourselves in almost everything we confront. A group of men spending a night on a mountaintop will each have a different experience. One may be overcome with a sense of awe, another may spend every moment gripped by fear, and another may sleep the night away. While the mountain is the same, each has brought himself to it and has a different experience. When we meet an animal, feel a touch, or take a hike down the street, we see a reflection of ourselves and of humanity.

This day is a Medicine Wheel for each of us. Our response to today’s circumstances will tell us more about ourselves. We need not waste energy judging ourselves harshly, but learn from our feelings and reactions. Our reflections point the way for further growth.

Today, I will look for my own reflection in what I meet and for the reflection of all humanity.

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Elder’s Meditation

“People think other things are more important than prayer, but they are mistaken.”

— Thomas Yellowtail, CROW

An Elder once said the most important thing you can do in the course of a day is to pray. If we get up late or oversleep, which is more important? Rush to work without praying or pray first and then go to work? The Elders say it’s more important to pray. If we get angry, should we act on our anger or should we pray first? The Elders say it’s more important to pray first. If, during the day, we face indecision, what should we do? PRAY. If, during the day, we become irritated or we experience fear, what should we do first? PRAY. The Warrior who prays first will lead a different life from those who pray last.

Great Spirit, teach me to pray first.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

 Responsibilities can get in the way of fun. You might have a good time planned with friends, family, or other loved ones. Unfortunately, work that you’ve committed to do, or even tasks that you weren’t expecting, will potentially prevent you from hanging out with your loved ones. You may feel slighted by this, but it’s best to roll with the punches and reschedule. After all, a little chaos is going to rain on everyone’s parade — the impact depends on how you react to it.

Daily Recovery Readings
March 31, 2024

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Daily Reflection

NO ONE DENIED ME LOVE

“On the A.A. calendar it was Year Two. . . . A newcomer appeared at one of these groups. . . . He soon proved that his was a desperate case, and that above all he wanted to get well. . . . [He said], “Since I am the victim of another addiction even worse stigmatized than alcoholism, you may not want me among you.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 141-42

I came to you—a wife, mother, woman who had walked out on her husband, children, family. I was a drunk, a pill-head, a nothing. Yet no one denied me love, caring, a sense of belonging. Today, by God’s grace and the love of a good sponsor and a home group, I can say that—through you in Alcoholics Anonymous—I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a woman. Sober. Free of pills. Responsible.

Without a Higher Power I found in the Fellowship, my life would be meaningless. I am full of gratitude to be a member of good standing in Alcoholics Anonymous.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“Faith without works is dead.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, Page 76~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Since I’ve been in A.A., have I made a start towards being more unselfish? Do I no longer want my own way in everything? When things go wrong and I can’t have what I want, do I no longer sulk? Am I trying not to waste money on myself? And does it make me happy to see my family and my home have enough attention from me? Am I trying not to be all get and no give?

Meditation for the Day

Each day is a day of progress, steady progress forward, if you make it so. You may not see it, but God does. God does not judge by outward appearance. He judges by the heart. Let Him see in your heart a simple desire always to do His will. Though you may feel that your work has been spoiled or tarnished, God sees it as an offering for Him. When climbing a steep hill, a person is often more conscious of the weakness of his stumbling feet than of the view, the grandeur, or even of the upward progress.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may persevere in all good things. I pray that I may advance each day in spite of my stumbling feet.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Finances

Taking financial responsibility for ourselves is part of recovery. Some of us may find ourselves in hard financial times for a variety of reasons.

Our recovery concepts, including the Steps, work on money issues and restoring manageability to that area of our life. Make appropriate amends — even if that means tackling a $5,000 debt by sending in $5 a month.

Start where you are, with what you’ve got. As with other issues, acceptance and gratitude turn what we have into more.

Money issues are not a good place to “act as if.” Don’t write checks until the money is in the bank. Don’t spend money until you’ve got it in your hand.

If there is too little money to survive, use the appropriate resources available without shame.

Set goals.

Believe you deserve the best, financially.

Believe God cares about your finances.

Let go of your fear, and trust.

Today, I will focus on taking responsibility for my present financial circumstances, no matter how overwhelming that area of my life may feel and be.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“Shared joy is double joy, and shared sorrow is half sorrow.”

—Swedish proverb

As recovering men, we know relief and peace when we express our pain and share the burden of a sorrow with each other. Life is too difficult, a day is too long, to carry grief alone and keep our joys to ourselves. We have spent long periods of time in loneliness. Like anyone who has been alone and finally gets a chance to speak, we have much to say to one another.

In this program we tell our stories, and the telling heals us. We tell about our pain and unmanageable past lives. We tell each other about our spiritual experiences. We share our honest doubts and worries about ourselves and events in our daily lives. Full communication at a truly spiritual meeting includes our questions and the incomplete thoughts in our stories as well as the thoughts that are fully concluded. As we talk, we unburden ourselves and learn from each other about closeness and manhood.

Today, I will let the people around me know about my joys and my sorrows. It will enrich my whole experience.

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Elder’s Meditation

“The old Lakota was wise. He knew that man’s heart away from nature becomes hard; he knew the lack of respect for growing, living things soon led to a lack of respect for humans too. So he kept his youth close to its softening influence.”

–Luther Standing Bear, OGLALA SIOUX

When we live in nature it’s like constantly being in school. We are in an environment that is always teaching. We are constantly being reminded hat there are laws, Natural Laws, which are running the universe. Once we know these laws and we drift from them, we start to live our lives in a different way. Soon we become discontent, selfish, and disrespectful. Then, we get in trouble. If our lives have become this way, it can be reversed by going back to nature to be among our teachers.

Great Spirit, teach men, again, the Natural Laws.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You can accomplish a lot today, knowing the planets have your back. There is a positive trine between the Moon in your responsible 6th house and Mercury in your professional 10th house, emboldening you to stand up and voice your ambitions, asking for what you want from the people who can get it. This is a great time to make any important presentations or to ask a supervisor for a raise, especially since you’ll be able to prove your worth with ease.

Daily Recovery Readings
March 30, 2024

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Daily Reflection

OUR GROUP CONSCIENCE

“. . . sometimes the good is the enemy of the best.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE, p. 101

I think these words apply to every area of A.A.’s Three Legacies: Recovery, Unity and Service! I want them etched in my mind and life as I “trudge the Road of Happy Destiny” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 164). These words, often spoken by co-founder Bill W., were appropriately said to him as the result of the group’s conscience. It brought home to Bill W. the essence of our Second Tradition: “Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”

Just as Bill W. was originally urged to remember, I think that in our group discussions we should never settle for the “good,” but always strive to attain the “best.” These common strivings are yet another example of a loving God, as we understand Him, expressing Himself through the group conscience. Experiences such as these help me to stay on the proper path of recovery. I learn to combine initiative with humility, responsibility with thankfulness, and thus relish the joys of living my twenty-four hour program.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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Big Book Quote

“We represent no particular faith or denomination. We are dealing only with general principles common to most denominations.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, Page 93~

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24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Before I met A.A., I was very unloving. From the time I went away to school, I paid very little attention to my mother and father. I was on my own and didn’t even bother to keep in touch with them. After I got married, I was very unappreciative of my spouse. Many a time I would go out all by myself to have a good time. I paid too little attention to our children and didn’t try to understand them or show them affection. My few friends were only drinking companions, not real friends. Have I gotten over loving nobody but myself?

Meditation for the Day

Be calm, be true, be quiet. Do not get emotionally upset by anything that happens around you. Feel a deep, inner security in the goodness and purpose in the universe. Be true to your highest ideals. Do not let yourself slip back into the old ways of reacting. Stick to your spiritual guns. Be calm always. Do not talk back or defend yourself too much against accusation, whether false or true. Accept criticism as well as you accept praise. Only God can judge the real you.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not be upset by the judgment of others. I pray that I may let God be the judge of the real me.

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The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Experiment

Experiment. Try something new. Try stepping out.

We have been held back too long. We have held ourselves back too long.

As children, many of us were deprived of the right to experiment. Many of us are depriving ourselves of the right to experiment and learn as adults.

Now is the time to experiment. It is an important part of recovery. Let yourself try things. Let yourself try something new. Yes, you will make mistakes. But from those mistakes, you can learn what your values are.

Some things we just won’t like. That’s good. Then we’ll know a little more about who we are and what we don’t like.

Some things we will like, they will work with our values. They will work with who we are, and we will discover something important and life enriching.

There is a quiet time in recovery, a time to stand still and heal, a time to give ourselves a cooling off time. This is a time of introspection and healing. It is an important time. We deal with our issues.

There also comes a time when it is equally important to experiment, to begin to test the water.

Recovery does not equal abstention from life. Recovery means learning to live and learning to live fully. Recovery means exploration, investigation, and experimentation.

Recovery means being done with the rigid, shame-based rules from the past, and formulating healthy values based on self-love, love for others, and living in harmony with this world.

Experiment. Try something new. Maybe you won’t like it. Maybe you’ll make a mistake. But maybe you will like it, and maybe you’ll discover something you love.

Today, I will give myself permission to experiment in life. I will stop rigidly holding myself back, and I will jump in when jumping in feels right. God, help me let go of my need to deprive myself of being alive.

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Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

We all carry it within us: supreme strength, the fullness of wisdom, unquenchable joy. It is never thwarted and cannot be destroyed. But it is hidden deep, which is what makes life a problem.

—Huston Smith

How does a man lose touch with his strength, his wisdom, his joy? Perhaps it is in the nature of humanity. Our most profound qualities are hidden deep. They never go away, but we cannot always find them. There may be nothing wrong with ourselves as men when we lose touch. It doesn’t have to mean that we are “bad guys” for getting depressed or for feeling inadequate. Who doesn’t have that problem? It is the nature of life that we sometimes feel this way. This program helps us unearth the resources hidden within us.

When we cannot find those reassuring feelings of strength and wisdom and joy, we may think they are gone forever. We even doubt we ever had them or could have them again. But they are still there. They cannot be destroyed. And when we regain contact we know they have been with us all along.

I will have faith that the innermost places in me can never be destroyed.

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Elder’s Meditation

“If anyone has children, they better teach their children to follow the traditions that we’re leaving behind because it is later than we think with all that’s going on.”

— Juanita Centeno, CHUMASH

The habits, attitudes, and beliefs that carry the human through the trials of life are developed at a very young age. If we are taught respect at a very young age, the odds are we’ll be respectful throughout our whole lives. If we are taught to dance at a young age, we’ll dance our whole lives. If we are taught to sing the traditional songs while we are young, we’ll sing those songs throughout our whole lives. And who do we drum and sing songs to? Our children. This is how we keep it going.

Great Spirit, today, teach me to teach the children.

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Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You can only handle so much mundanity before life becomes unbearably boring. There’s a cosmic tension between tending to your chores and flying off to parts unknown as the Moon in your responsible 6th house argues with Saturn in your vast 9th house, making your limitations seem that much bigger. Even if greener pastures are calling your name, you’ll need to deal with what is already on your plate before soaring off beyond the horizon. Maintain a sense of reality, even if it’s boring.