Genealogy: A Step Back in Time

Before the invention of computers I have been interested in my family history. Over the years, I have compiled lots of information. With the help of Ancestry I was able to find pieces of information to finally solve puzzling facts about the family. Apparently, in a drunken stupor one night, with a click of the mouse it’s all gone. Now I’m starting all over again.

I have always wondered why genealogy became such a passion for me. Is it because I’m gay. Therefore the last descendant of my family to carry the family line, never to give birth to a son to carry it on? Or do I also want to feel attached to something because I have lost so much in my past? It wasn’t because I like history, I failed history every time because I wasn’t interested in all those people and dates. Yet, family history is quite different – a challenge.

Nowadays, one can find information thought lost found again rather quickly. For instance, before Ancestry, there were other genealogy sites to store information. Therefore, though it may not be on Ancestry the information was previously saved and can be found using a simply search. This time around, I’m going to go through the whole process very meticulously to ensure the information is right.

And suddenly I find another relative I couldn’t find the last time right off the bat. This time I’m attaching the person but leaving it there until I get to them. I need take the same approach as I do my sobriety, instead of “One Day”, I need to concentrate on “One Person” at a time.

Already I have 100+ hints I need follow up on. I can only laugh because in the past it drove me insane. Today, I just do what I’ve been doing for the last year – taking my time as things come.

Ready to Take a Hike

For those who are active readers here – NO, this does NOT relate to my sobriety. My sobriety, despite the constant “issues” at work, is quite intact. What I’m feeling is the greatest pull toward something new I’ve ever felt in my life. I’m ready to take a hike, move on with my life.

My lease was signed for my new place where I’m moving on June 6, 2017. I recently received a copy in the mail. I got a little nervous because it took so long but those nerves subsided when the landlord said his secretary was on vacation. Looking at this signed lease in front of me just makes me want to pack up and go!

Basically, I’m starting over. Like I said before, I have a couple goals in mind. One is that of a minimalistic lifestyle. Removing all the material things in my life causing clutter is already working. I’m more peaceful and content.

On the other hand, my brain wants to compound itself with projects upon projects of new things to do (and possibly buy). Right now I have to remind myself the “One Day at a Time ” methodology; I haven’t even moved into the new place, so why worry about what I may need, will I be able to afford it, etc. Worrying about something not happening yet can put me on a path I’d rather not go down.

I’m only moving some personal items. For instance, my computers will all go with me. I still have to figure out which monitors work. Once that’s done, I have to visit the city landfill to properly dispose of them. Once at the new residence, I’m planning on backing up information to an external drive and starting over on all my machines.

Since I’m working most of the time (wearing scrubs), there is no need to bring all my clothes but a select few of outfits. Typically when I’m at home, I’m in sweats and a t-shirt. I do have to remember to bring some seasonal clothing too! Perhaps an outfit or two, a jacket for winter, gloves and such. Besides, I won’t be smoking at the new place. My current selection looks and smells disgusting, so I’ll be glad to either throw it away or donate to my favorite charity, the Salvation Army (bad sarcasm).

Currently, I don’t really cook for myself. Fast-food dining is my life blood. Once I move, I will have to cook much more often, thus a new experience. Already, I have worried friends, “Michael, you’re going to starve yourself. Let me know if I can help you . . .”

I will be moving no furniture. I’ll be sleeping on a blow-up mattress until such time I can afford a real bed again. Bedroom furniture and living room furniture will come in its own time. Honestly, a beanbag or cushion on the floor is good for me!

Seriously, that’s it. A couple road trips back and forth, then it’s done.

It reminds me of my youth when I moved out of my parent’s house back in the late 1980’s. I didn’t have anything. yet over the years, I accumulated what I needed, when I needed it and more. This is something I’m going to strive to change.

What I want to change is my perception of “what I need”. With a steady job, a car for transportation, a roof over my head and food on the table, there isn’t much more. It’s going to be a struggle, like any new experience. I will have battles within myself when the compulsion comes over to buy something when I really don’t need it. That is the challenge and I accept it.

I guess I can’t explain my (overly?) excitement of this new adventure. Everything happening right now feels right. It feels fresh, new and exciting. I can’t wait to go, go, go. Perhaps

Perhaps this does relate to my sobriety in that I’m fulfilling a promise. The most important of them all:

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.