Taming the Beast

I was in such a good mood going to work. All my assignments were completed for the current week. I got caught up in math where I fell behind last week, and there are just TWO WEEKS left for this term. I am a creature of habit when things work out right, so it started as a normal day. Until….the beast was released! Thankfully nothing physical, just all in my head. But taming that beast took a lot of hard work.

Despite my concerns, my courses are still going well. I (literally) just received an ‘A’ on my rough draft of my persuasive essay. The instructor wrote really nice comments and a concern I need to address. The last line of the comment made me laugh, “Oh and the final line is genius.

I’m writing this persuasive essay on how AI benefits society. I was worried it was a mess. I want to write more but thought it was to much. Some paragraphs just didn’t fit with me. Thoughts don’t flow in the right direction. There are a thousand reasons I want to scrap it and write a new one. But I don’t have time. Instead . . . surprise . . . “it’s wonderful!”. Still it was the rough so I have a week to fix some lose ends.

Side note:

For those interested, a copy of the essay can be found here —> Artificial Intelligence – The End of Humanity . It may be late in the game but if you’re willing could you read it and give me feedback. For those willing, give me an honest opinion of how you felt about it – likes, dislikes, what was understood, not understood, expectations, etc. Any and all feedback would be appreciated! Thanks . . .

Got sidetracked, so back to what happened at work last night . . .

I’ve been working in the dairy cooler at work for a while now. We download five to six pallets (or more) a night then stock the shelves. Before I start, I put my pair of eyeglasses on top of our equipment storage machine outside the cooler, so they are out of the way in a place they would be safe. As a creature of habit, I do this nightly retrieving my glasses when I got out on the floor to stock shelves.

As I reached up last night, they were gone. I spent a good ten minutes or more searching for them, retracing my steps and KNOW I put them up there. But now they were gone!

Let me just say I’m blind as a bat without them!

I was livid – the beast was released. I’m not one to use profanity at work but it just came out. What the hell was I going to do. I couldn’t see worth crap. The labels on the shelves are really, really small. While I could see the product, we have several kind but different of many things. For instance, Pillsbury biscuits, crescents, rolls, butter, buttermilk, flavored, small, large, different counts. You get the point. I could see color, I could feel the size of the package but I couldn’t read the label nor could I use my computer equipment unless it is right in front of my nose.

Then I thought, holy crap what about school. I’m sitting in front of a 48″ TV with my computer attached to my TV for viewing. I already have the font 120% enlarged on the browser to read websites. I’ll have to spend time to adjust accessibility features. Less time for me to get things done I need.

I was so in my head. Could my co-worker be playing a joke. Did another co-worker physically take them as a joke, or someone I didn’t know mistake them for their own? Did someone knock them off, break them and not tell anyone. Oh, it was bad, bad, bad.

After my first break, I convinced myself, “Deal with it for now, revisit it later.” I had to calm down before I verbally got in front of someone’s face. Who asks me how my night is going after break? My boss. Thankfully, I kept my composure telling him what happened. He replied, “I’ll look on the security footage for you and find out.” Honestly, I didn’t know he had access nor did I even think of that I was so in my head.

He returns later before lunch, “Mike…mike…”, as I’m squinting at him trying to figure out who it is and if they are calling me in the first place. He’s holding my glasses in his hand. He proceeds to tell me:

I looked at the security footage to find out what happened. You indeed put them on top of the equipment machine. Then another Associate (from the previous shift) was checking in their equipment. They put their printer on top sliding my glasses to the back of the back and down on the floor. I was laughing . . . .

On my Gods that was cruel for Them to do!

The rest of the night was as normal as it could be.

As always – what’s the point?

I know (and will always have) anger management issues. Again and again, even in therapy, everyone agrees the severe damage of my past is just something I’m going to have to manage. Honestly, I tell people I have anger management issues. While over the years it has subsided significantly since I’ve learned new tools to use, there are times when things get out of control. In this case, at least I kept it all in my head. But what I got out of the whole experience was I still have underlying issues I need to work on for the rest of my life.

At various times during the experience, I was really worried. I’m just glad I got back to my peace and serenity.

The beast no longer lives.

Now to enjoy my one day off – reviewing my essay and re-writing the final draft.

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