During my days of drinking my days were full of nothing but chaos. Over the last couple of weeks, I have gone back to a structured schedule. As monotonous as it may be, it is necessary to stay sober. If I choose to divert from this path, even a little bit, I could potentially fall back to old behaviors and be back in that sinking ship.

For me, putting down the drink was the easy part. I don’t miss reaching for a drink every time I pause, then forget what I’m doing and go start something else. Instead, I have created a routine which helps me during the day. First, my prayer. Second, the daily readings. Third, taking something(s) from the readings and concentrating on that for the rest of the day.

Today, my goals are gratitude and silence. Gratitude. A roof over my head, a job to pay the bills, food to eat, a community of people who are just like me helping me stay sober and a belief in a Higher Power to assist me when things get all wacky. Silence. Knowing when to say something and when not to. Instead, contemplating how and what I’m feeling, why and what to do about it. Mostly it’s all about me, I’m not angry of the situation. I’m angry, worried, nervous or anxious because I still tend to react instead of taking a moment of silence and simply letting it go. It’s not an easy task, thus I call upon my Higher Power much during the day to “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Some phrases I also say during the day (especially at work):

• It’s not my circus, it’s not my monkeys (Polish proverb)
• Rome wasn’t build it a day
• May the night go quickly and the day come early (‘cus I work nightshift)
• Stop, listen, think, then respond

Lastly, “You don’t know what you have missed until it’s gone (sobriety)!”