Typically I’m not one to boast about my sobriety. It can disappear quicker than the hard work I’ve put in to stay sober. Instead, I’ve chosen sobriety as a way of life with the help of my Higher Power and the support of others.

For those reading this blog on a daily basis, you may have noticed the readings all have a theme each month – each step relates to a month. Thus, in January the concentration was the unmanageability of my life because I was powerless over alcohol. There is a slowly but deadly progression. It just takes that first drink. For some it takes days, others months, a few of us years when we finally take a hard look at our lives asking, “How the hell did I get in this mess?” I knew what I needed to do based on my own experience. As sad as it is for me to remember, my father died an alcoholic death. My mother found him unresponsive, upstairs in the bedroom bleeding from this eyes, nose, ears and mouth. That awful picture will be forever with me. It’s either sobriety or death. One must make a choice and do anything to stick to it on a daily basis.

This month the concentration turns to a Higher Power. Many of us is our darkest days have sworn off any such thought of “something greater than ourselves” or God, as referred to in much of the readings. I am not nor have I ever been a religious person nor do I speak about it. It’s personal period; it’s none of anyone’s business. This relationship doesn’t happen overnight in an epiphany. You just have to listen to it and trust it’s guiding you in the right direction. For me, that is the point of the Step this month.

For me, though I may not be religious, I still communicate with said “Power greater than myself” in prayer. Yes, I talk to myself dammit and darn proud of it too! My past experience has taught me with my undoubting trust, something whatever it may be, is helping guide my life back from the chaotic selfishness of a self absorbed alcoholic into a person who cares about other people, their lives and the relationship I have with them. In time, I will learn to give back what they have given me, though I didn’t know it at the time.

Peace and serenity.