Hello all,

Last month I wasn’t sure if I could keep this site running. After some financial wrangling, I managed to pay to keep this site up for another year! Though, again I am broke and behind in bills. But I have taken comments and private messages into much consideration.

First and foremost, I have made an appointment this week for an intake at an outpatient facility. For the last week, I was sober (honestly). Yet once I got some more monies in, I just went back to my old routine – (incoming excuse – just a 12 pack that I’m attempting to stretch until Monday which won’t happen BUT I am NOT buying more PERIOD. My hope is that through individual counseling I can once and for all begin a true life of sobriety again.

What about meetings? Resentment. I was an active member of AA. I was chairperson of two meetings and I spoke individually as a “guest speaker” at others, as well as creating and managing our areas website. I was involved and had a lot of contacts. But then COVID hit. I still was working but there were no meetings. I had numbers in my phone that I called over and over and over. Did ONE person call me back. Nope. After five months of trying, I simply gave up. No one cared. So I went back to the drink.

Therefore, this time around, I’m not sure where they are going to put me – individual or group. I rather prefer individual for now. Yet if I’m put in group therapy, so be it. I will probably be the silent one in the group because the experience I have doesn’t help anyone when I can’t keep sober myself. But things may change. We will just have to see.

Here is the jest of things right now for me. I am so behind in rent and bills (only electricity/internet and phone). The best I can do is pay whatever bill is going to be disconnected first. But as most know in these situations, I just keep accruing more charges then paying off the balance. All I can do right now is the best I can do with the resources in front of me.

Next week, I am going to start looking for remote work I can do at home. I don’t care about the pay range. Anything is better than what I make now at $650 every two weeks on worker’s comp (which is equivalent to 8.12/hr). That’s going to e another challenge because, I don’t want to release my information to a “fraud” or “scam” company, so I’m going to have to do more do diligence and really do some deep diving of the companies I send my information. It reminds me of Judge Fletcher who I watch frequently and absolutely love his no nonsense attitude, “I will do anything to protect the public and my community. DO YOU UNDERSTAND???” After the crap I have been through this year, I can only HOPE it doesn’t happen again.

It is my hope individual counseling/group or both will help. Still on the fence about meetings. Meanwhile, the job hunt will commence on Monday of at least 25 applications, if not more each week. Meanwhile, keeping myself busy playing a game but also creating a website with a database (<–something I still struggle to code) while also watching random YouTube videos ‘cus that is the only entertainment available to me. Also including my damn five cats (two adults and three boys) that run around the house and destroy everything while fight amongst each other at all periods of the day and night.

Life is just wonderful!

Thanks for listening,
MK, Webmaster of the Wandering Enigma