DR – December 19, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
December 19, 2020


Daily Reflection

UNDERSTANDING THE MALADY

“When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 139

Having suffered from alcoholism, I should understand the illness, but sometimes I feel annoyance, even contempt, toward a person who cannot make it in A.A. When I feel that way, I am satisfying my false sense of superiority and I must remember, but for the grace of God, there go I.


Big Book Quote

“We think it no concern of ours what religious bodies our members identify themselves with as individuals. This should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself in the light of past associations, or his present choice.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 2


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The skeptic and the agnostic say it is impossible for us to find the answer to life. Many have tried and failed. But many more have put aside intellectual pride and have said to themselves: Who am I to say there is no God? Who am I to say there is no purpose in life? The atheist makes a declaration: “The world originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere.” Others live for the moment and do not even think about why they are here or where they are going. They might as well be clams on the bottom of the ocean, protected by their hard shells of indifference. They are going nowhere and they do not care. Do I care where I am going?

Meditation for the Day

We may consider the material world as the clay, which the artist works with, to make of it something beautiful or ugly. We need not fear material things, which are neither good nor bad in the moral sense. There seems to be no active force for evil – outside of human beings themselves. Humans alone can have either evil intentions – resentments, malevolence, hate and revenge – or good intentions – love and good will. They can make something ugly or something beautiful out of the clay of their lives.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may make something good out of my life. I pray that I may be a good artisan of the materials, which I have been given to use.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Work Roles

How easy it is to dive into roles at work. How easy it is to place other people in roles. Sometimes, this is necessary, appropriate, and expedient.

But we can also let our self-shine through our role.

There is joy in giving our gift of skill at work, at giving ourselves to the task at hand so thoroughly that we experience an intimate relationship with our work. There is joy when we create or accomplish a task and can say, “Well done!”

There is also joy when we are our self at work, and when we discover and appreciate those around us.

The most unpleasant, mundane task can be breezed through when we stop thinking of ourselves as a robot and allow ourselves to be a person.

Those around us will respond warmly when we treat them as individuals and not job defined roles.

This does not mean we need to become inappropriately entangled with others. It means that, whether we are an employer or an employee, when people are allowed to be people who perform tasks instead of task performers, we are happier and more content people.

Today, I will let myself shine through my task at work. I will try to see others and let them shine through too – instead of looking only at their tasks. God, help me be open to the beauty of others and myself at work. Help me maintain healthy relationships with people at work.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

If I were given a change of life, I’d like to see how it would be to live as a mere six-footer.

—Wilt Chamberlain

It’s human nature for us to wonder what life would be like in another man’s shoes. No matter how good or bad we’ve had it; we like to consider those possibilities sometimes. While we were still in the trap of living with an addict or being one, some of us used a fantasy world as an escape from our circumstances. Perhaps it was the only option we knew.

Now we are in a program, which liberates us and gives us hope. It’s not an easy program, but it is simple. We’re learning that when we have a relationship with our Higher Power and become accountable, we gain more options and can have hope. We can do interesting and rewarding things in our lives now that were closed to us before. Sobriety makes it possible for us to go forward into reality and leave fantasy for play.

Today, I am grateful for life in the real world that recovery has given me.


Elder’s Meditation

“Flexible strength is better than inflexible. Let the storm flow over you, and then pop back up.”

–Michael Kabotie, HOPI

Flexibility is taught by nature. You will see the trees bend in the wind. You will see that tree branches are flexible. To be rigid is to break. When we have life problems it is good for us to be flexible. Sometimes we need to flow with what is going on. If we resist, it becomes more painful. We need to be on the path of least resistance. Water flows down the mountain through the path of least resistance. Electricity flows through the path of least resistance. Power flows through the path of least resistance. As Indian people our strength has always been our flexibility.

Creator, I will be flexible today because I know You are with me.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Experience tends to be your greatest teacher and, today, you may be confronted with lessons on various levels. You are becoming more informed about how to relate to others — how to constructively share stories, emotions, and viewpoints with openness. Channel the generous energy of this moment into a personal transformation; you have an opportunity now to put your whole self into something you value. Communicate your ideas openly so you can be fully appreciated for who you are.

DR – December 18, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
December 18, 2020


Daily Reflection

HONESTY WITH NEWCOMERS

Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 93

The marvel of A.A. is that I tell only what happened to me. I don’t waste time offering advice to potential newcomers, for if advice worked, nobody would get to A.A. All I have to do is show what has brought me sobriety and what has changed my life. If I fail to stress the spiritual feature of A.A.’s program, I am being dishonest. The newcomer should not be given a false impression of sobriety. I am sober only through the grace of my Higher Power, and that makes it possible for me to share with others.


Big Book Quote

“We know what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself, “Im jittery and alone. I couldn’t do that.” But you can. You forget that you have just now tapped a source of power much greater than yourself. To duplicate, with such backing, what we have accomplished is only a matter of willingness, patience and labor.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 163~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Unless we have the key of faith to unlock the meaning of life, we are lost. We do not choose faith because it is one way for us, but because it is the only way. Many have failed and will fail. For we cannot live victoriously without faith; we are at sea without a rudder or an anchor, drifting on the sea of life. Wayfarers without a home. Our souls are restless until they find rest in God. Without faith, our lives are a meaningless succession of unrelated happenings, without rhyme or reason. Have I come to rest in faith?

Meditation for the Day

This vast universe around us, including this wonderful earth on which we live, was once perhaps only a thought in the mind of God. The nearer the astronomers and the physicists get to the ultimate composition of all things, the nearer the universe approaches a mathematical formula, which is thought. The universe may be the thought of the Great Thinker. We must try to think God’s thoughts after Him. We must try to get guidance from the Divine Mind as to what His intention is for the world and what part we can have in carrying out that intention.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not worry over the limitations of my human mind. I pray that I may live as though my mind were a reflection of the Divine Mind.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Staying Open to Our Feelings

Many of us have gotten so good at following the “don’t feel” rule that we can try to talk ourselves out of having feelings, even in recovery.

“If I was really working a good program, I wouldn’t feel angry.”

“I don’t get angry. I’m a Christian. I forgive and forget.”

“I’m not angry. I’m affirming that I’m happy.”

These are all statements, some of them quite clever, that indicate we’re operating under the “don’t feel” rule again.

Part of working a good program means acknowledging and dealing with our feelings. We strive to accept and deal with our anger so it doesn’t harden into resentments. We don’t use recovery as an excuse to shut down our emotions.

Yes, we are striving for forgiveness, but we still want to feel, listen to, and stay with our feelings until it is time to release them appropriately. Our Higher Power created the emotional part of ourselves. God is not telling us to not feel; it’s our dysfunctional systems.

We also need to be careful how we use affirmations; discounting our emotions won’t make feelings go away. If we’re angry, it’s okay to have that feeling. That’s part of how we get and stay healthy.

Today, I will refuse to accept shame from others or myself for feeling my feelings.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Ultimately, both parents and children are seen as individuals. For all their claims on one another, each is entitled to a life separate and distinct from the other.

—Francine Klagsbrun

The process of untangling the relationships between ourselves and our parents – as well as with our children – is a long term process. Each of us came into the world helpless. As sons, we had no choice about relying on our parents. We reached manhood with a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and resentment. The same is true of our children. Those of us who are fathers began with an obligation to our children. We may now feel a mixture of commitment, fulfillment, and guilt.

No parent can teach a child everything he or she will need. We all do what we can to continue to learn and grow. We have lifelong commitments to each other – within reason. We are all trying to make our way as best we can. We each need to advance our own well-being and not destroy our lives for the sake of a parent or a child.

Today, I will be responsible for myself. Then I can be more responsible to others.


Elder’s Meditation

“Parents have to demonstrate the value of trust, respect, and honor.”

–Haida Gwaii, Traditional Circle of Elders

Children learn more by watching than by listening. If we want our children to understand and value trust, they know it by watching how adults live their lives! If we want the children to be respectful, they will observe what the adults do and say to each other. We need to walk our talk. We need to remember the children are watching.

Grandfather, help me learn these important values: Trust, Respect, and Honor.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’re on a mission to get to the bottom of something today. You are after the truth and will do whatever you can to figure things out. There are moments when you may feel called out in a public way, but your commitment to being genuine will prevent anyone from misconstruing your message. Speak with clarity and authority and know where you stand. If you are able to temper your emotions with precision, you have the potential to inspire greatness.

DR – December 17, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
December 17, 2020


Daily Reflection

A PRICELESS REWARD

. . . work with other alcoholics. . . . It works when other activities fail.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 89

“Life will take on new meaning,” as the Big Book says (p. 89). This promise has helped me to avoid self-seeking and self-pity. To watch others grow in this wonderful program, to see them improve the quality of their lives, is a priceless reward for my effort to help others. Self-examination is yet another reward for an ongoing recovery, as are serenity, peace and contentment. The energy derived from seeing others on a successful path, of sharing with them the joys of the journey, gives to my life a new meaning.


Big Book Quote

“At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order. But this is not an end in itself.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 77~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The way of faith is, of course, not confined to A.A. It is for everybody who really wants to live. But many people can go through life without much of it. Many are doing so, to their own sorrow. The world is full of lack of faith. Many people have lost confidence in any meaning in the universe. Many are wondering if it has any meaning at all. Many are at loose ends. Life has no goal for many. They are strangers in the land. They are not at home. But for us in A.A., the way of faith is the way of life. We have proved by our past lives that we could not live without it. Do I think I could live happily without faith?

Meditation for the Day

“He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends the rain on the just and the unjust.” God does not interfere with the working of natural laws. The laws of nature are unchangeable; otherwise we could not depend on them. As far as natural laws are concerned, God makes no distinction between good and bad people. Sickness or death may strike anywhere. But spiritual laws are also made to be obeyed. On our choice of good or evil depends whether we go upward to true success and victory in life or downward to loss and defeat.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may choose today the way of the spiritual life. I pray that I may live today with faith and hope and love.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Nurturing Ourselves

Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it’s silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it’s how we show love for ourselves. That’s what we’re striving for in recovery – a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.

When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.

We rest when we’re tired; eat when we’re hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts – a trip to the beauty salon or barbershop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.

As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch – touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn’t feel good or safe and is not positive.

We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.

We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.

Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The purpose of man’s life is not happiness but worthiness.

—Felix Adler

When we pursue happiness as a goal for its own sake, we usually reach the opposite point of emptiness. Feeling happy is a by-product of other life experiences. Happiness comes and goes. We welcome it but cannot capture and hold it, nor can we create a recipe for achieving happiness.

We will lead far more successful lives pursuing other values which we do have control over, such as honesty, respect for others and ourselves, seeking loving relationships, and making a contribution to the well being of others. We can accept unhappiness and difficulties without struggle when we know we are doing something that has greater meaning. Our Eleventh Step tells us we pray only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out. This helps us focus on God’s purpose for us. We can have an inner sense of joy knowing we are leading meaningful lives, even when we aren’t having a particularly happy day.

I will seek the goals that make my life worthwhile and welcome happiness when it comes.


Elder’s Meditation

“Hear me! A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong.”

–Tecumseh, SHAWNEE

You can take one arrow and break it in half. But if you take 12 arrows in a bundle, it’s almost impossible to break any of them. There is strength in Unity. When we are together we are very powerful. This is the way the ancestors told us we need to be. Strong. We need to unite ourselves. This is why the Elders say, when we make decisions, we must first consider the good of the people. If every person in the community thinks this way, then we will always make strong decisions.

Creator, let my decisions have the strength of the bundle.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Working with your more intense emotions comes naturally to you today, as you seem to express yourself without restraint. Let yourself go — there is something to be said for being completely raw and honest in the moment. Genuine feelings can rise up with so much force and passion that you will likely feel compelled to direct it towards something of meaning. Give yourself plenty of space for utter and complete self-expression so you can guide your senses in a way that feels useful.

DR – December 16, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
December 16, 2020


Daily Reflection

PARTNERS IN RECOVERY

“. . . nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. . . .“

Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. . . . Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances!

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 89, 100

Doing the right things for the right reasons — this is my way of controlling my selfishness and self-centeredness. I realize that my dependency on a Higher Power clears the way for peace of mind, happiness and sobriety. I pray each day that I will avoid my previous actions, so that I will be helpful to others.


Big Book Quote

“I had always believed in a Power greater that myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes no where.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 10~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The way of A.A. is the way of faith. We don’t get the full benefit of the program until we surrender our lives to some Power greater than ourselves and trust that Power to give us the strength we need. There is no better way for us. We can get sober without it. We can stay sober for some time without it. But if we are going to truly live, we must take the way of faith in God. That is the path for us. We must follow it. Have I taken the way of faith?

Meditation for the Day

Life is not a search for happiness. Happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of a life, of doing the right thing. Do not search for happiness; search for right living and happiness will be your reward. Life is sometimes a march of duty during dull, dark days. But happiness will come again, as God’s smile of recognition of your faithfulness. True happiness is always the by-product of a life well lived.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not seek happiness but seek to do right. I pray that I may not seek pleasure so much as the things that bring true happiness.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Taking Care of Ourselves Emotionally

What does it mean to take care of myself emotionally? I recognize when I’m feeling angry, and I accept that feeling without shame or blame.

I recognize when I’m feeling hurt, and I accept those feelings without attempting to punish the source of my pain. I recognize and feel fear when that emotion presents itself.

I allow myself to feel happiness, joy, and love when those emotions are available. Taking care of myself means I’ve made a decision that it’s okay to feel.

Taking care of my emotions means I allow myself to stay with the feeling until it’s time to release it and go on to the next one.

I recognize that sometimes my feelings can help point me toward reality, but sometimes my feelings are deceptive. They are important, but I do not have to let them control me. I can feel, and think too.

I talk to people about my feelings when that’s appropriate and safe.

I reach out for help or guidance if I get stuck in a particular emotion.

I’m open to the lessons my emotions may be trying to teach me. After I feel, accept, and release the feeling, I ask myself what it is I want or need to do to take care of myself.

Taking care of myself emotionally means I value, treasure, explore, and cherish the emotional part of myself.

Today, I will take care of myself emotionally. I will be open to, and accepting of, the emotional part of myself and other people. I will strive for balance by combining emotions with reason, but I will not allow intellect to push the emotional part of myself away.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
And try to love the questions themselves.

—Rainer Maria Rilke

Patience with ourselves may be the first step toward patience with others. In getting to know ourselves, we don’t find what we have expected. If we did, we would only be proving what we already knew. Sometimes growth comes in surprising ways. It may be in acceptance and learning to love what is unsettled or unclear within. Some of us men want to rush through our learning and push our growth too fast. Others of us want to have a strong sense of confidence in our relationships with others but always feel vulnerable. Some wonder why their fears suddenly rise without warning. Another longs to know why certain things happened to him in his youth. Our growth is not our invention. When answers come, they are gifts, and we do not control them.

In part, self-acceptance is to say, “Yes, I am a person with this question, this unsettled feeling. Being alive is to be actively engaged in knowing and loving my questions even when I find no answer.”

God, grant me the peace that comes with loving the unfinished part of me.


Elder’s Meditation

“If you have one hundred people who live together, and if each one cares for the rest, there is One Mind.”

–Shining Arrows, CROW

One of the principles of Community is Unity. The alignment of thoughts in groups of people will cause One Mind to form. One Mind is Unity. Each individual in the community must align their thoughts with what other members are thinking. If all the people think of helping one another, then the community will be service oriented and powerful results will be enjoyed. Having our thoughts aligned within a group will cause our children to experience a positive environment. When they have children, the grandchildren will automatically experience these results also.

My Creator, help me to contribute to positive group thought.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Working with your more intense emotions comes naturally to you today, as you seem to express yourself without restraint. Let yourself go — there is something to be said for being completely raw and honest in the moment. Genuine feelings can rise up with so much force and passion that you will likely feel compelled to direct it towards something of meaning. Give yourself plenty of space for utter and complete self-expression so you can guide your senses in a way that feels useful.

I Just Don’t Get It

So I thought my frustrations would be done with last week, as all milestones were completed. Yet, my English instructor is frustrating me to no ends. She has not responded to several emails I have sent. Her instructions are so confusing.

First she sends out an ‘Announcement’ at the beginning of the week which contradicts the assignments were are given for the week. So I sent an email each week because I was confused. She didn’t respond, so I did I thought was the ‘right thing to do’. Still got an ‘A’ on the assignments in the past.

Last week, I assumed we were suppose to send the final draft of our paper. The grading rubric has a possible of 225 points for the Summative Assessment: Persuasive Essay. Thus, I did everything and submitted my final paper.

Yet, the ‘Announcement” this week says, “After you’re finished with revision, you’ll post your final revised paper in 8-2.” It just doesn’t make sense when the score for the 8-2 assignment is just 70. Am I missing something?

I just got an email about course evaluations. It ain’t going to be pretty, but do I want to screw myself? My advisor also wants an update. Does honestly play a part or should I be silent and just lie..it’s just not like me. I’m going to sit on this for a day or two. I just don’t get it!

**head to desk**

DR – December 15, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
December 15, 2020


Daily Reflection

DOING ANYTHING TO HELP

Offer him [the alcoholic] friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 95

I remember how attracted I was to the two men from A.A. who Twelfth-Stepped me. They said I could have what they had, with no conditions attached, that all I had to do was make my own decision to join them on the pathway to recovery. When I start convincing a newcomer to do things my way, I forget how helpful those two men were to me in their open-minded generosity.


Big Book Quote

“Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 20


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Service to others makes the world a good place. Civilization would cease if all of us were always and only for ourselves. We alcoholics have a wonderful opportunity to contribute to the well-being of the world. We have a common problem. We find a common answer. We are uniquely equipped to help others with the same problem. What a wonderful world it would be if everybody took his own greatest problem and found the answer to it and spent the rest of his life helping others with the same problem in his spare time. Soon we would have the right kind of a world. Do I appreciate my unique opportunity to be of service?

Meditation for the Day

Today can be lived in the consciousness of God’s contact, upholding you in all good thoughts, words, and deeds. If sometimes there seems to be a shadow on your life and you feel out of sorts, remember that this is not the withdrawal of God’s presence, but only your own temporary unwillingness to realize it. The quiet gray days are the days for doing what you must do, but know that the consciousness of God’s nearness will return and be with you again, when the gray days are past.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may face the dull days with courage. I pray that I may have faith that the bright days will return.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Feelings

It’s okay to have and feel our feelings – all of them.

Years into recovery, we may still be battling with ourselves about this issue. Of all the prohibitions we’ve lived with, this one is potentially the most damaging and the most long-lived.

Many of us needed to shut down the emotional part of ourselves to survive certain situations. We shut down the part of us that feels anger, sadness, fear, joy, and love. We may have turned off our sexual or sensual feelings too. Many of us lived in systems with people who refused to tolerate our emotions. We were shamed or reprimanded for expressing feelings, usually by people who were taught to repress their own.

But times have changed. It is okay now for us to acknowledge and accept our emotions. We don’t need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to allow our emotions to control us; neither do we need to rigidly repress our feelings. Our emotional center is a valuable part of us. It’s connected to our physical well being, our thinking, and our spirituality.

Our feelings are also connected to that great gift, instinct. They enable us to give and receive love.

We are neither weak nor deficient for indulging in our feelings. It means we’re becoming healthy and whole.

Today, I will allow myself to recognize and accept whatever feelings pass through me. Without shame, I will tune in to the emotional part of myself.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

My mother was dead for five years before I knew that I loved her very much.

—Lillian Hellman

Each day it helps us to remember that we are always changing. Whatever is most clear to us today or is most prominent in our feelings – the difficulties we may be having with parents, wives or lovers, the worries we have about our children – is a part of an unfolding of events we cannot foresee. Just when we think we know exactly the direction things are going, they surprise us with change. Relationships continue to evolve and mature as we do. Even when separated from loved ones, our relationships may improve because we continue to grow.

Our task for this day is to be honest with ourselves, to be respectful to others, and to stay open to our Higher Power. Continuing to go forward, we put one foot in front of the other. We are changing internally, and circumstances around us are changing too. We remain hopeful for the future because outcomes are in the hands of God.

I cannot predict the direction of my growth. I will simply remain true to myself today and stay open for surprises.


Elder’s Meditation

“People are equal partners with the plants and animals, not their masters who exploit them.”

–Haida Gwaii, Traditional Circle of Elders

As human beings, we are not above anything nor are we below anything. Because of being equal, we need to discuss a little about the value of respect. Not just respect when it comes to human beings, but respect when it comes to everything. We are not masters over things; we are caretakers for the Great Spirit. We need to treat all things with respect.

Great Spirit, let me accept and see all things as equal.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Harmonious but high energy accompanies you throughout the day. Multi-tasking is easier for you now, which will allow you to accomplish more work, and you may even find enjoyment in the tasks you don’t typically like doing. You’ll also notice that your interactions are moving quickly through multiple layers of emotions and thoughts. Relationships with co-workers and people in your immediate environment should run smoothly, with you being able to express your feelings with an honest yet casual vibe.

DR – December 14, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
December 14, 2020


Daily Reflection

REACHING OUT

Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 95

When I come into contact with a newcomer, do I have a tendency to look at him from my perceived angle of success in A.A.? Do I compare him with the large number of acquaintances I have made in the Fellowship? Do I point out to him in a magisterial way the voice of A.A.? What is my real attitude toward him? I must examine myself whenever I meet a newcomer to make sure that I am carrying the message with simplicity, humility and generosity. The one who still suffers from the terrible disease of alcoholism must find in me a friend who will allow him to get to know the A.A. way, because I had such a friend when I arrived in A.A. Today it is my turn to hold out my hand, with love, to my sister or brother alcoholic, and to show her or him the way to happiness.


Big Book Quote

“God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 133~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The way of A.A. is the way of service. Without that, it would not work. We have been “on the wagon” and hated it. We have taken the pledge and waited for the time to be up with impatience. We have tried in all manner of ways to help ourselves. But not until we begin to help other people do we get full relief. It is an axiom that the A.A. program has to be given away in order to be kept. A river flows into the Dead Sea and stops. A river flows into a clear pool and flows out again. We get and then we give. If we do not give, we do not keep. Have I given up all ideas of holding A.A. for myself alone?

Meditation for the Day

Try to see the life of the spirit as a calm place, shut away from the turmoil of the world. Think of your spiritual home as a place full of peace, serenity, and contentment. Go to this quiet, meditative place for the strength to carry you through today’s duties and problems. Keep coming back here for refreshment when you are weary of the hubbub of the outside world. From this quietness and communion comes our strength.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may keep this resting place where I can commune with God. I pray that I may find refreshment in meditation on the Eternal.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Clear Thinking

Strive for clear thinking. Many of us have had our thinking clouded by denial. Some of us have even lost faith in ourselves because we’ve spent a degree of time in denial. But losing faith in our thinking isn’t going to help us. What we need to lose faith in is denial.

We didn’t resort to denial – either of someone else’s problem or our own – because we were deficient. Denial, the shock absorber for the soul, protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality.

Clear thinking and recovery don’t mean we will never resort to denial. Denial is the first step toward acceptance, and for most of our life, we will be striving to accept something.

Clear thinking means we don’t allow ourselves to become immersed in negativity or unrealistic expectations. We stay connected to other recovering people. We go to our meetings, where peace of mind and realistic support are available. We work the Steps, pray, and meditate.

We keep our thinking on track by asking our Higher Power to help us think clearly – not by expecting Him, or someone else, to do our thinking for us.

Today, I will strive for balanced, clear thought in all areas of my life.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

No matter how old you get, if you can keep the desire to be creative, you’re keeping the man-child alive.

—John Cassavetes

Creation is the work of God. It is not given to most of us to be famous artists. But the spiritual experience of being creative is open to us when we take on a creative attitude toward what we are doing. We might do this on the job when we determine to do more than just get the job done. We may decide to have fun while we do what needs to be done, or we may decide to put our best spirit into the work before us. Some men find creativity in working with wood, others in coaching sports with children, someone else in cooking, and another in community service.

Being creative moves us toward wholeness as people. As we create on the outside, we are being created on the inside. The way in which we live every aspect of our lives is a creative, growing process and a partnership with God.

As I approach this day, I will have an attitude of creativity that will nurture the wondering child within me.


Elder’s Meditation

Male and female is fundamental to life; partners in work to be done.”

–Oren R. Lyons, Spokesman, Traditional Circle of Elders

The Great Spirit created a system which would allow us to reproduce, to have companionship, to love, to laugh, to cry, and be happy. Man and Woman each have gifts the other doesn’t have. But, together they have these gifts to share with each other. The Great Spirit made it this way. So let us treat each other with respect. Let us look upon each other in a sacred way.

Grandfather, Grandmother, bring the spirits to teach us.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It’s like your consciousness is cracked open today, expanding the little things into moments of great importance. Try to keep everything in perspective by focusing on the here-and-now — you have the potential to make a major change to your personal wellness or daily routine. With so many things happening, it’s wise to focus your attention on just one thing for the time being. You have the drive to start something new, and by directing your energy toward just one endeavor, you can experience results more rapidly.

Christmas Story Revised 2020

Rarely if ever have I copied something from Facebook here, but someone took a lot of their time to come up with this jingle. Enjoy, if you haven’t seen it already. I though it was ingenious!

Christmas Story Revised 2020

T’was 3 weeks before Christmas,
And all through the town,
People wore masks,
That covered their frown.
The frown had begun
Way back in the Spring,
When a global pandemic
Changed everything.
They called it Corona,
But unlike the beer,
It didn’t bring good times,
It didn’t bring cheer.
Airplanes were grounded,
Travel was banned.
Borders were closed
Across air, sea and land.
As the world entered lockdown
To flatten the curve,
The economy halted,
And folks lost their nerve.
From March to July
We rode the first wave,
People stayed home,
They tried to behave.
When summer emerged
The lockdown was lifted.
But away from caution,
Many folks drifted.
Now it’s December
And cases are spiking,
Wave two has arrived,
Much to our disliking.
It’s true that this year
Has had sadness a plenty,
We’ll never forget
The year 2020.
And just ‘round the corner –
The holiday season,
But why be merry?
Is there even one reason?
To decorate the house
And put up the tree,
Who will see it,
No one but me.
But outside my window
The snow gently falls,
And I think to myself,
Let’s deck the halls!
So, I gather the ribbon,
The garland and bows,
As I play those old carols,
My happiness grows.
Christmas is not cancelled
And neither is hope.
If we lean on each other,
I know we can cope.

DR – December 13, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
December 13, 2020


Daily Reflection

THINKING OF OTHERS

Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 20

Thinking of others has never come easily to me. Even when I try to work the A.A. program, I’m prone to thinking, “How do I feel today. Am I happy, joyous and free?”

The program tells me that my thoughts must reach out to those around me: “Would that newcomer welcome someone to talk to?” “That person looks a little unhappy today, maybe I could cheer him up.” It is only when I forget my problems, and reach out to contribute something to others that I can begin to attain the serenity and God-consciousness I seek.


Big Book Quote

“An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 16~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

We come now to A.A. fellowship. It is partly group therapy. It is partly spiritual fellowship. But it is even more. It is based on a common illness, a common failure, and a common problem. It goes deep down into our personal lives and our personal needs. It requires a full opening up to each other of our inmost thoughts and most secret problems. All barriers between us are swept aside. They have to be. Then we try to help each other get well. The A.A. fellowship is based on a sincere desire to help each other get well. The A.A. fellowship is based on a sincere desire to help the other person. In A.A. we can be sure of sympathy, understanding and real help. These things make the A.A. fellowship the best that we know. Do I fully appreciate the depth of the A.A. fellowship?

Meditation for the Day

The Higher Power can guide us to the right decisions if we pray about them. We can believe that many details of our lives are planned by God and planned with a wealth of forgiving love for the mistakes we have made. We can pray today to be shown the right way. We can choose the good, and when we choose it, we can feel that the whole power of the universe is behind us. We can achieve a real harmony with God’s purpose for our lives.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may choose aright today. I pray that I may be shown the right way to live today.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Giving

Don’t be afraid of giving.

For a while, we may need to back off from giving as we learn to discern the difference between healthy giving and caretaking, which leave us feeling victimized and others feeling resentful.

This is a temporary spot.

To be healthy, to do our part in this spiritual way of life, to be part of the endless cycle of the Universe, guided by our Creator, we need to give and receive.

Both parts are important.

What is healthy giving?

This is a fine lined behavior each of us must seek to understand for ourselves. It is giving that feels good and does not leave us feeling victimized.

It is giving that holds the giver and the receiver in high esteem.

It is giving based on a desire to do it rather than from a sense of guilt, pity, shame, or obligation.

It is giving with no strings attached. Or it is giving based on a clean, direct contract.

Whether it is giving our time, efforts, energy, comfort, nurturing, money, or ourselves, it is giving that we can afford.

Giving is part of the chain of giving and receiving. We can learn to give in healthy ways; we can learn to give in love. We need to keep an eye on our giving, to make sure it has not crossed the line into caretaking. But we need to learn to give in ways that work for us and others.

Today, God, guide me in my giving. Help me give to others in healthy ways. Help me give what feels right, what feels good, what feels clean, and what I can afford.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Let nothing disturb you. Let nothing frighten you. Everything passes away except God.

—Saint Theresa

Learning to detach may be the most demanding and difficult part of this program. Detachment means being filled with closeness and love toward someone, yet knowing we cannot fix or protect that person. It means we can be in emotional contact but don’t have to react to someone else’s issues. We respond from our own center with what is fitting for us. Being detached means we allow others to be in the hands of God because we cannot live their lives for them. Detachment gives us an inner calm, an acceptance of our limits, and the freedom to live our own lives with integrity.

Detachment is a skill in living, and like other skills, we can practice it. Gradually, it becomes a natural response. True detachment takes root and grows within us over a period of time as we deepen our relationship with the Steps and with our Higher Power.

Today, I turn to God as my eternal rock for strength in learning to become detached.


Elder’s Meditation

“In our language there is no word to say inferior or superiority or equality because we are equal; it’s a known fact. But life has become very complicated since the newcomers came here. And how does your spirit react to it?. It’s painful. You have to be strong to walk through the storm. I know I’m a bridge between two worlds. All I ask is for people to wash their feet before they try to walk on me.”

–Alanis Obomsawin, ABENAKI

For native people who speak their language, English can be very confusing. Many times you cannot express in English the true meaning of Indian words. When we hear something in English we sometimes react or our spirit reacts. Sometimes we need to use English words out of order to express our true meanings. We need to be patient and pray. Living in two worlds can be difficult. Life is painful sometimes. The pain of life is where the lessons are learned.

Creator, let me learn the lessons You have taught my people.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your day centers around your routines and schedules, defining how you accomplish tasks in the workplace, at school, around town, etc. Try your best to accomplish things that have to get done, but keep in mind that bigger, conceptual projects are more supported than detail-oriented work is, so you may need to set some things aside for another time. Still, your heart and mind are open now, which helps you flow with the dreaminess of the day.

The End – SNHU Term 1

As I’m approaching the end of week 7, I can’t believe its the last week of my first term at SNHU. There were some struggles along the way. But I’ve taken note not to let them happen again. Thus far, both classes stand a potential for an ‘A’. My final draft of my persuasive essay was submitted this morning, I have a final exam in mathematics to complete. The last assignments for week eight are minimal. Meanwhile, I have a long work week ahead with an upcoming vacation.

It seems like yesterday I started college again. I was part confident and part scared. The confidence came from past experiences of online classes. I knew the fast paced schedule of reading, discussion, and assignment or exam for each week. Yet, part of me was uncomfortable because I didn’t know the instructors, how they taught, their expectations and a defect of character of my own – my own expectations. But as weeks went by the grades reflected what I was doing was an excellent job. But I can’t say there wen’t some rough patches.

As mentioned before, working at WM during this pandemic and the change in management put a whole new spin on stress. Every night I have to bust my arse to get things done. It get frustrating working with those who simply put – do not care. Yet, they are still employed. On the other hand (and it took me a long while to get a grip on it), I can’t worry about THEM. I have to worry about what I do on a daily basis and get it done – period.

But that doesn’t mean by the time I got home each night I wasn’t physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. There were days I just wanted to throw in the towel. I questioned whether I was doing the right thing. Then I have to remind myself – we’re here again, are we going to repeat the past? Stomping my foot down, I said, “No” and I meant it. There were nights I slept a couple hours, went to work and repeated. But it had to be done. I’m not going to throw away this experience. No matter how hard things got I’m not doing to disappoint myself.

For some reason I had convinced myself my final draft of my essay was due next week. Last night I checked to make sure all my assignments were completed, so I could concentrate on my mathematics class. Suddenly I freaked out because the essay was actually due on Sunday (tomorrow). I knew I had some small revisions but mostly the formatting in APA format was going to take a while with my eight sources. Despite how tired I was this morning, I kicked off my shoes and got to work. Whether it was done correctly for not I can only hope I caught all the necessary formatting parameters. The content of the essay is what matters most. We’ll just have to wait and see. However, I am confident I’m going to do well no matter what.

The only things left is a mathematics exam tomorrow on the last four sections. No final exam on all the material – thankfully. It’s a three hour, 12 question, you must write out thoroughly how you solved each problem step by step type exam again. The material isn’t that difficult but I need to pace myself and make sure I’m not making small mistakes. The plan as with all exams is to do the ones I know for sure leaving the more difficult ones to the end when I have more time.

The final week of classes are not major milestones, so I’m not worried about them. English is a “reflection” on our writing and mathematics is just another new module with an assignment at the end. I’m not going to rush myself to get them done but I’m also not going to wait until the last minute.

The week of the Christmas holiday my schedule is all wacky. First, I work six days straight before I get a day off on Tuesday (12/22). I work Wednesday with another day off on Thursday (12/24 – because technically our shift stars a new day, hence Christmas when the store is closed). I return Friday and Saturday. However, Sunday (12/27) through Wednesday (12/30) I have all days off – my mini vacation.

No plans to go anywhere or do anything. Besides with the current situation of the pandemic in my area, I have a feelings things are going to change rapidly in the next couple of weeks anyway. Besides, I have plenty of small house chores to do. First, put a dresser together I bought weeks ago so I can stop living out of plastic storage bins. Second, clean this damn house from top to bottom. The third and probably most important thing is to just relax. Put the last term of school behind me and not worry about work. I was actually thinking of reading my text book for my “Introduction to Scripting” class next term which starts Jan 4, 2021.

Right now I can feel the mountain of pressure on my shoulders starting to fade away. For me it’s a small accomplishment. Perhaps I’ll take some time to due a short review of how I can improve both academically, professionally, and personally. Honestly, I really don’t know. The only way I’ve gotten through all of this is tackling whatever comes in front of me for that day, nothing else.

Whine – do I have to go to work now??? UGH