Tag: mental health

DR – October 16, 2025

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery ReadingsLeave a comment

Daily Recovery Readings
October 16, 2025

Daily Reflection

THROUGHOUT EACH DAY

This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

During my early years in A.A. I saw Step Ten as a suggestion that I periodically look at my behavior and reactions. If there was something wrong, I should admit it; if an apology was necessary, I should give one. After a few years of sobriety I felt I should undertake a self-examination more frequently. Not until several more years of sobriety had elapsed did I realize the full meaning of Step Ten, and the word “continued.” “Continued” does not mean occasionally, or frequently. It means throughout each day.

Big Book Quote

“The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. Their young minds were impressionable hile he was drinking. Without saying so, they may cordially hate him for what he has done to them and to their mother. The children are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. They cannot seem to forgive and forget. This may hang on for months, long after their mother has accepted dad’s new way of living and thinking.”

In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 134~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

How seriously do I take my obligations to A.A.? Have I taken all the good I can get out of it and then let my obligations slide? Or do I constantly feel a deep debt of gratitude and a deep sense of loyalty to the whole A.A. movement? Am I not only grateful but also proud to be a part of such a wonderful fellowship, which is doing such marvelous work among alcoholics? Am I glad to be a part of the great work that A.A. is doing and do I feel a deep obligation to carry on that work at every opportunity? Do I feel that I owe A.A. my loyalty and devotion?

Meditation for the Day

If your heart is right, your world will be right. The beginning of all reform must be in yourself. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you take it. However restricted your circumstances, however little you may be able to remedy financial affairs, you can always turn to your inward self and seeing something not in order there, seek to right it. And as all reform is from within outward, you will always find that the outward is improved as the inward is improved. As you improve yourself, your outward circumstances will change for the better. The power released from within yourself will change your outward life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that the hidden power within me may be released. I pray that I may not imprison the spirit that is within me.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Being Honest with Ourselves

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.

When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.

When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met.

When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what’s important to us, we can relay this to others.

When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too.

When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others.

When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust.

When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

One of the main reasons wealth makes people unhappy is that it gives them too much control over what they experience. They try to translate their own fantasies into reality instead of tasting what reality itself has to offer.

—Philip Slater

We are constantly told that the way to happiness is through material possessions. “Men who drive this sports car have all the women after them!” “If I could only own this special tool it would make me happy!” What does a man really want? He wants a feeling that his life makes sense. He wants the give and take of loving relationships. He wants to feel he has a place in the world and can make a contribution. And he wants the feeling that he is not standing still, but growing in those ways.

Being poor certainly limits our options, but material wealth is an empty seduction. Putting all our energies into capturing wealth may make us rich, but it also can become an addiction that causes unhappiness. We become much richer in our souls and in our experiences when we take the risks that help us improve our relationships and teach us how to live balanced lives.

I will live each moment in ways that fit my true values.

When we have achieved self-love and accepting our wants and needs, we will be ready to give and receive love.

When we’ve learned to stand on our own two feet, we’re ready to stand next to someone.

Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself.

Elder’s Meditation

“Many religions have been brought to this land. And the way my religion is, they teach me, and they taught me, and told me to respect all religions. And I still do that.”

–Horace Axtell, NEZ PERCE

The Creator put on this Earth many different religions which represent different roads to walk to God. All religions are right and good if the path is the path to God. Should we be judging which road is better or worse than the other? When we accept each other’s way we can stand in a circle, hold hands and listen to each other as we pray to God. Let us be more accepting of the religions of others.

Great Spirit – God, Grandfather, Grandmother, Lord – let me know peace.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

 Imposter syndrome is becoming a thing of the past for you. You may have previously doubted yourself when it came to your abilities in the workplace or a certain personal task, but you’re showing your inner critic that you’re so much more capable than you ever realized. Start small and work up! As you tackle each challenge and reward yourself upon finishing it, you’ll build your confidence to handle bigger and bigger projects. Give yourself your flowers and trust in your abilities.

DR – October 16, 2024

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery ReadingsLeave a comment

Daily Recovery Readings
October 16, 2024

Daily Reflection

THROUGHOUT EACH DAY

This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

During my early years in A.A. I saw Step Ten as a suggestion that I periodically look at my behavior and reactions. If there was something wrong, I should admit it; if an apology was necessary, I should give one. After a few years of sobriety I felt I should undertake a self-examination more frequently. Not until several more years of sobriety had elapsed did I realize the full meaning of Step Ten, and the word “continued.” “Continued” does not mean occasionally, or frequently. It means throughout each day.

Big Book Quote

“The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. Their young minds were impressionable hile he was drinking. Without saying so, they may cordially hate him for what he has done to them and to their mother. The children are sometimes dominated by a pathetic hardness and cynicism. They cannot seem to forgive and forget. This may hang on for months, long after their mother has accepted dad’s new way of living and thinking.”

In time they will see that he is a new man and in their own way they will let him know it.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 134~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

How seriously do I take my obligations to A.A.? Have I taken all the good I can get out of it and then let my obligations slide? Or do I constantly feel a deep debt of gratitude and a deep sense of loyalty to the whole A.A. movement? Am I not only grateful but also proud to be a part of such a wonderful fellowship, which is doing such marvelous work among alcoholics? Am I glad to be a part of the great work that A.A. is doing and do I feel a deep obligation to carry on that work at every opportunity? Do I feel that I owe A.A. my loyalty and devotion?

Meditation for the Day

If your heart is right, your world will be right. The beginning of all reform must be in yourself. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you take it. However restricted your circumstances, however little you may be able to remedy financial affairs, you can always turn to your inward self and seeing something not in order there, seek to right it. And as all reform is from within outward, you will always find that the outward is improved as the inward is improved. As you improve yourself, your outward circumstances will change for the better. The power released from within yourself will change your outward life.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that the hidden power within me may be released. I pray that I may not imprison the spirit that is within me.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Being Honest with Ourselves

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.

When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.

When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met.

When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what’s important to us, we can relay this to others.

When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too.

When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others.

When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust.

When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

One of the main reasons wealth makes people unhappy is that it gives them too much control over what they experience. They try to translate their own fantasies into reality instead of tasting what reality itself has to offer.

—Philip Slater

We are constantly told that the way to happiness is through material possessions. “Men who drive this sports car have all the women after them!” “If I could only own this special tool it would make me happy!” What does a man really want? He wants a feeling that his life makes sense. He wants the give and take of loving relationships. He wants to feel he has a place in the world and can make a contribution. And he wants the feeling that he is not standing still, but growing in those ways.

Being poor certainly limits our options, but material wealth is an empty seduction. Putting all our energies into capturing wealth may make us rich, but it also can become an addiction that causes unhappiness. We become much richer in our souls and in our experiences when we take the risks that help us improve our relationships and teach us how to live balanced lives.

I will live each moment in ways that fit my true values.

When we have achieved self-love and accepting our wants and needs, we will be ready to give and receive love.

When we’ve learned to stand on our own two feet, we’re ready to stand next to someone.

Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself.

Elder’s Meditation

“Many religions have been brought to this land. And the way my religion is, they teach me, and they taught me, and told me to respect all religions. And I still do that.”

–Horace Axtell, NEZ PERCE

The Creator put on this Earth many different religions which represent different roads to walk to God. All religions are right and good if the path is the path to God. Should we be judging which road is better or worse than the other? When we accept each other’s way we can stand in a circle, hold hands and listen to each other as we pray to God. Let us be more accepting of the religions of others.

Great Spirit – God, Grandfather, Grandmother, Lord – let me know peace.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

People in your life could seem unfairly intense, but it may be due to ongoing stressful circumstances. If they can’t separate their issues from their interactions with you, you’d be wise to withdraw and protect your peace. You likely don’t have a dog in this fight, and you shouldn’t try to pick one. It’s their responsibility to work out any tangles they have with others! If they try to control you, that’s even more reason to pull back. Don’t be overwhelmed by their intensity.

MPE Time Out

On By mikeykjrIn Personal3 Comments

It has been a long time since I started this journal with the goal of providing others an insight into an addict’s life. As with life, things change and one must adapt to its new surroundings. From experience, an addict who does not change will revert back to their old addictive behaviors either to be miserable for the rest of this life or continue to drink/drug to his death. Recently I took a MPE (mental, physical and emotional) time out from work. In other words, I left on good terms with intentions to return at another time, if it happens.

First, it’s interesting to note that my last four jobs, I have lasted just over two years. The last three, I did the most disrespectful and selfish thing leaving without notice either after and in-between a shift. There came a time when I reached a breaking point. I just couldn’t work in such an inhospitable environment. Based on those experiences, if I made such a decision this time, I was not going to repeat it. Instead, I gave notice leaving on good terms.

In my experience there are few places today which appreciate their employees. Instead, you’re hired to do a job, you’re required to do it and most employers don’t care the cost to the employee. To me it’s sad, really sad. As I try to look a both sides, I get it. If a company attempts to please their employees, their employees just ask for more and more. If the company ignores their employees, there is a constant turn around and employee morale always low. I assume a good company would have to find a balance and work through the highs and lows.

Problem One: Here I am again, thinking I know everything and how to fix problems. Instead I need to look at myself to remember two things: I don’t know everything nor can I fix everything PERIOD.

This is a prime example of how I think and where in time will only get me to a place where there is no return. It’ s time to turn it back on myself. What the hell is going on? Honestly, I’m miserable.

I had convinced myself my life was not perfect but better than it was in my past. With a well paying job, I was in a place where bills were paid, food was on the table and I had a roof over my head. But there was always this longing for more. What I wasn’t looking at nor doing anything about are those things I felt are missing in my life.

The work environment became toxic for me. I became this robot – going to work, attempting to do what I needed for the day and leaving. It was the only way to cope. It worked for a while. But over time, the constant pressure to do more at any cost didn’t help me nor others. I began to speak out if only for myself. Nothing I said or did was taken seriously. There was this attitude of ‘it’s always been this way and nothing is going to change’. Such an environment drives me to insanity. I refuse to be that type of person. After careful thought, I felt it best to leave on good terms perhaps find something else. But I needed time to recover and it was impossible while working there. I need to find employment where I have a purpose and I’m appreciated. While there may be no place offering such, I can only hope. For most of my job I was in a serene and peaceful place in my life. But in the last couple of months its simply spiraled out of control. My mental, physical and emotional states are in a state of chaos.

While it’s only been a week, I am starting to feel I’m returning to something manageable. I have learned through experiences, we can’t change the past nor can you regret those decisions or dwell on them. I can only change the present, right here and now. Right now, the only goal is to bring myself back to a comfortable state. It may not be as peaceful and serene as in the past right now but its a beginning.

In summary, I need change internally and perhaps externally . Unfortunately, and not advisable to all, I have gone to an extreme to make this happen. Yet, it has taken me months to plan, analyze and execute this plan while accepting the consequences of this decision. It may work out, it may not, there are never any guarantees in life. For me, I am confident this decision and process is the best for my life at this time.

Only time will tell…

MK

Transition to Independent Living

On By mikeykjrIn PersonalLeave a comment

As many of you know, for the last year and a half, I have lived in a supportive living residential program after a relapse in 2018. I’m in the final stages of transitioning to independent living. Next week I also transition from a part-time job to full time but I’m also looking at other job opportunities in the recovery field.

It’s been a month since I started working at Wal-mart on the overnight shift. I am still adjusting to a sleep schedule of 10 am to 6pm. This gives me at least eight hours of a night’s, as well as an hour before I attend an evening meeting almost every night. It’s imperative I continue to attend meetings especially at a time when there are major changes happening in my life.

The job, as stated on other occasions, is not something I would like to do for the rest of my life. While I’m grateful for the experience, it’s taking quite a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. In a nut shell, it’s really hard work, long nights and at times I have wanted to just give up. Instead, like my recovery, I just concentrate on what needs to be done in my work day doing it to the best of my ability. I literally leave work at work. A lesson I learned from my own past which was a contributor to my relapse.

Recently I completed my application for a Certified Peer Specialist through New York State. Now I’ll be looking for employment in the recovery field. In the past recovery was focused on those with an addiction (alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.) Recovery is now inclusive of everyone whether they are an addict, a person diagnosed with a mental health disorder or just someone who is having difficulty living their own life. It’s interesting how services have transitioned from institutional to peer supportive services. Studies have shown there is a greater chance of recovery when individuals use peer supportive services focusing on the individual versus their medical diagnosis.

A respected peer reminded me today we must take care of ourselves first. We have to find a balance in recovery and our life experiences. To much of one or the other can have a see saw affect, the rest crashing down on us. So on that note – a meeting, dinner and a quiet next two days off from work.

Life is good and I don’t have to drink!