Tag: recovery

A Reprieve – Mini Vacation

On By mikeykjrIn Personal

These days it is very rare I’m able to travel out of town. Typically I have sporadic days off.  Those change like the wind due to staffing issues at work.  I took the opportunity to “request” this weekend off some time ago. Thankfully I’m able to travel out of town to my Sponsor’s brother’s home near New York City. Trips such as this gives me a reprieve from the monotony found in my own recovery community.

Like my Sponsor, his brother has over 25 years of sobriety. His brother is also a very active member of his recovery community.  Whenever we have a chance to visit, he ensures that we receive a warm welcome back.  Many times it’s as we never left, though it’s been at least six months since (my) last visit.

The differences between our local meetings and my Sponsor’s brother’s meetings are like night and day.  For one, they have 100’s of  years of continuous sobriety, whereas at local meetings there are only a couple of meetings where “old timers” attend. Second, meeting formats are completely different.  For instance at many meetings you say your name, “I’m an alcoholic” and your sobriety date. This is not for boasting but an indication for new comers if they work their program, long term sobriety is possible.  Unless it is a “Young People’s” meeting, typically those with less than a year of sobriety are encouraged just to listen.  In other words, you don’t hear about someone with a couple of months of sobriety relapsed yet again and again, yet they can spout their “knowledge” of how the program works. Hence the reason “old timers” where I’m from typically have meetings elsewhere.  Don’t get me wrong, my community does not shun a new comer.  However, when we see the same people come in and out of the program, again and again, hearing the same thing like a broken record, I just want to stand up to say, “Shut up, sit down and listen.  Obviously you don’t know anything.”

Their recovery community always has special events.  There is always a local workshop, recovery activity (baseball, basketball, softball game) or someone is throwing a sobriety anniversary party.  While my community tries, many times they fail. For instance, a gentleman owns a home on a lake who throws a picnic three times a year:  Memorial Day, July 4th and Labor Day. Everyone brings something, so there is never a shortage of food or non-alcoholic drinks. The workshops are amazing.  Very good topics, speakers due to large attendances and good planning.

Jealous?  Yes, yes I am.  Since my first attendance “down State”, I have dreamed my own recovery community could become such a strong community. It will never happen.  The commitment to almost anything is slim to nil. It’s unfortunate. But I’ve realized that I play my own part in my recovery community doing the best that I can for those that care to listen.

Basically the trip is one giant vacation for me. Something based on recent events I desperately need right now. Despite the impending weather (heavy rain, thunderstorms, wind and afterward cold temperatures and possible low accumulation of snow) we are committed to make this trip happen today. It’s a four hour drive. We stop in Roscoe, New York for a break (coffee and a donut and/or lunch) getting there for the afternoon and evening meetings.

I haven’t been this excited in a long time. Even when I get back there is another reward!  The 2017 NASCAR season starts tonight. I couldn’t ask for anything more 🙂

 

DR – Feb 25, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
February 24, 2017

Daily Reflection

THE CHALLENGE OF FAILURE

In God’s economy, nothing is wasted. Through failure, we learn a lesson in humility which is probably needed, painful though it is.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 31

How thankful I am today, to know that all my past failures were necessary for me to be where I am now. Through much pain came experience and, in suffering, I became obedient. When I sought God, as I understand Him, He shared His treasured gifts. Through experience and obedience, growth started, followed by gratitude. Yes, then came peace of mind—living in and sharing sobriety.

Big Book Quote

“…we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God  as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do? The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion.” 

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 60~

Keep It Simple

Keep It Simple

Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.—Willaim James

Step Two speaks of believing. For many years, we had given up believing in ourselves, in a Higher Power, and in others. We believed in getting high. Now our program tells us to believe in love. We are lovable, and we can love others without hurting them. Of course, believing is an important part of recovery.

To believe means to put aside our doubts. To believe means to have hope. Believing makes the road a little smoother. So, believing lets the healing happen a little faster. All of this is how we get ready to let in the care of our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day:
I pray for the courage to believe. I’ll not let doubt into my heart. I can recover. I can give myself totally to this simple program.

Action for the Day:
I’ll list four times doubt got in my way. And I’ll think of what I can do to not let that happen again.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Establishing ambitious goals is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it inspires you to apply yourself with greater determination. But, on the other hand, it can set you up for failure if you fall short of your expectations. Nevertheless, you don’t have to let discouragement sabotage your accomplishments. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.” Believing in yourself is its own form of success.

DR – Feb 24, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
February 24, 2017

Daily Reflection

A THANKFUL HEART

I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one’s heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37

My sponsor told me that I should be a grateful alcoholic and always have “an attitude of gratitude”—that gratitude was the basic ingredient of humility, that humility was the basic ingredient of anonymity and that “anonymity was the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” As a result of this guidance, I start every morning on my knees, thanking God for three things: I’m alive, I’m sober, and I’m a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Then I try to live an “attitude of gratitude” and thoroughly enjoy another twenty-four hours of the A.A. way of life. A.A. is not something I joined; it’s something I live.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Some people cannot be seen–we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don’t delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God’s people we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, Page 83~

Keep It Simple

Failure is impossible. —Susan B. Anthony

Failure is an attitude. Having an attitude of failure can’t help us. It can only hurt us. If we’re not careful, it can grow into a way of life. So, when we feel like failures, we better look at our attitudes.

An attitude of failure often comes from making mistakes. But we can learn to see our mistakes as lessons. This turns mistakes into gains, not failures. Sometimes, we try to do things that just can’t be done.

When we act like we know everything, we’re going to fail. if we try to act like God, we’re going to fail.

We can’t control others. We can’t know everything. We’re not God. We’re human. If we act human, we’ve already won.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher power, help me to learn from my attitudes. Whatever the outcome, help me learn.

Action for the Day:
Facing our past “failures” is the first step to learning from them. I’ll talk to my sponsor about a past “failure” and the good that came from it.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You know that you must step up your game soon, but for now you want to keep your cards close to your chest. You don’t feel quite like yourself, but your mismatched mood has an unexpected upside. It’s as if you can see the real you from an outsider’s perspective today, allowing you to identify what’s wrong in the dynamics of a close relationship. This moment of clarity might be slightly unnerving, but you could be pleasantly surprised by the difference in your feelings if you’re willing to explore

A Recap – Where I Am Now?

On By mikeykjrIn Personal

A week ago I was in a dark place.  For the first time in nine years of sobriety I was afraid I was going to drink.  My job, as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA), is always stressful when taking care of the elderly. Many have dementia compounded with other mental illnesses and health issues. However, I have come to “walk in their shoes”. The issue was my employer:  staffing issues, miserable employees, management problems and the fact I’m the only male CNA in the facility. I felt alone, was verbally warned by my employer “to pick up your [my] pace” and I almost just threw in the towel with the job, as well as sobriety. However, the last week, I reflected my part in the whole situation and thank my Higher Power for getting involved.  There is no other explanation.

After calling my Sponsor and talking to unexpected ally at work, I went to bed sober Wednesday night.  Friday, I knew something was stirring at work.  There was something in the wind that just didn’t feel right.  I was given a warning by my employer for my job performance. Despite the lack of cooperation from my co-workers, I knew I had to do something quickly.  I kept to myself and got my job done.

Sunday night rolled around.  A rumor was going around the Director of Nursing (DON) was stepping down.  The supervisor on my shift was accepting the position.  A co-worker, who is now an ally and a recovering addict, and I talked about his possibility just the night before.  Right before our eyes it was becoming a reality.  Monday, it was officially announced. Suddenly there is a change with my fellow co-workers.  There were suddenly nervous, as I have never seen them.

Sunday night, I pulled a double shift, working 16 hours.  The new coming DON had already filled one shift herself, she couldn’t get anyone to come in early nor come in at all, so I volunteered. Overnight shift is just me, myself and I besides a charge nurse. I have more freedom, can get things done quickly, however there is a lot of downtime I sit twiddling my thumbs.  Monday morning, a co-worker graciously offered to stay until 5 p.m., so that I may get a couple hours of extra sleep.  Now that is teamwork!

I was looking forward to a day off on Wednesday.  As expected, they called to ask me to work, “Michael, you can refuse.”  The Assistant DON, who was calling, then threw in, “I can give you Friday off, so you have a three day weekend.”  Accepted!  Hell YES! When I came into work, the Assistant DON said, “Thank you for coming in.”  For the first time, I felt it was a genuine comment.

In addition, I have started to attend a local ‘nooner’ meeting.  Just a couple of days, thus far, due to my schedule changes.  But I think I’m going to make it my temporary home group (until I move this Summer) and attend it daily.  There is a lot of sobriety and I heard a lot of good messages.

My Sponsor and I are texting, as he is checking in with me.  I apologized for yesterday since it was suppose to be “our day” to get together to discuss recent events in person.  He says, “It’s been smooth sailing because you adjusted your sails.”  I added, “With your help and my Higher Power, yes!”

I’m looking forward to my three day weekend.  Saturday and Sunday, my Sponsor and I are going to visit his brother who lives near NYC.  They have a large recovery community with hundreds of years of sobriety (literally).  The meetings there are a little different from local meetings and it will be a nice change to return since July 2016.  Sunday night is NASCAR night for me too- Daytona 500 !  Dale Jr qualified 2nd, so this might a good start to a new year.

It was rough but I got through it!  Today I am thankful to AA, my Higher Power, my Sponsor, those following this blog, as well those blogging about recovery.  Everyone gave me hope and kept me strong.  Thank you all!

DR – Feb 23, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
February 23, 2017

Daily Reflection

MYSTERIOUS PARADOXES

Such is the paradox of A.A. regeneration: strength arising out of complete defeat and weakness, the loss of one’s old life as a condition for finding a new one.
— A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 46

What glorious mysteries paradoxes are! They do not compute, yet when recognized and accepted, they reaffirm something in the universe beyond human logic. When I face a fear, I am given courage; when I support a brother or sister, my capacity to love myself is increased; when I accept pain as part of the growing experience of life, I realize a greater happiness; when I look at my dark side, I am brought into new light; when I accept my vulnerabilities and surrender to a Higher Power, I am graced with unforeseen strength. I stumbled through the doors of A.A. in disgrace, expecting nothing from life, and I have been given hope and dignity. Miraculously, the only way to keep the gifts of the program is to pass them on.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.” 
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, Page 30~

Keep It Simple

Keep It Simple

Hitch your wagon to a star.—Ralph Waldo Emerson

Millions of people are sober and have peace of mind through the Twelve Steps. Like the stars, the Steps are always there. At times, clouds block our view of the stars, but we know they are still there. Let’s view the Twelve Steps the same way.

It is said that the stars are the gate to heaven, that we pass through their beauty to get ready to enter heaven. The Twelve Steps are the gate to spirituality here on earth. We travel through their beauty on our way to a spiritual awakening. Hitch your wagon to the Steps, and get ready for the ride of a lifetime.

Prayer for the Day:
I pray to remember that the Steps keep me sober. I pray that I will follow where the Steps take me.

Action For the Day:
I’ll look at the stars tonight. I’ll think of them as symbols of my life touched by the Twelve Steps.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It’s as if the atmosphere is pulled taut and you don’t want to misstep for fear of breaking the tenuous connections holding it all together. At the same time, it feels like it’s now or never in the realm of your professional goals as three planets grow restless in fiery Aries and your 10th House of Career. Balancing this combination of cosmic energies is best accomplished by formulating a concrete plan which you can follow consistently. Creating a simple list is the perfect medium between charging full speed ahead and spinning your wheels.

DR – Feb 22, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
February 22, 2017

Daily Reflection

GUIDANCE

. . . this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however . . . haltingly, toward His own likeness and image.
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 51

As I began to understand my own powerlessness and my dependence on God, as I understand Him, I began to see that there was a life which, if I could have it, I would have chosen for myself from the beginning. It is through the continuing work of the Steps and the life in the Fellowship that I’ve learned to see that there is truly a better way into which I am being guided. As I come to know more about God, I am able to trust His ways and His plans for the development of His character in me. Quickly or not so quickly, I grow toward His own image and likeness.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes  somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities. Business and professional men have regained their standing. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, Page 15~

Keep It Simple

To thine own self be true.–AA medallions

Sometimes we hear that we have a “selfish program.” Being “selfish” means that we ask for help when we need it. We only go to places that are safe for us, no matter what others are doing. Being selfish comes to mean safety for us.

Being selfish doesn’t mean we act like brats. We must act in ways that show respect and love—for ourselves and for others. being selfish means we do what is good for us. What is good for us? First, we have to save our lives by stopping our drinking and drugging. Next, we start working the Steps. We come to know a loving Higher Power. This is how we come to know our true self.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me be true to myself and my values. Help me be “selfish” about spending time to talk with You each day.

Action for the Day:
I’ll list ten ways I need to be “selfish” in recovery. If I get stuck, I’ll be “selfish” and ask for help.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It’s hard to find your place before someone else makes their move, like an endless game of duck-duck-goose. Between your past experiences and your future aspirations, a compression takes place that seems to be funneled into your relationships. You may be projecting your stress onto the ones closest to you today, causing needless tension and unwelcome drama. Fortunately, if you’re brave enough to reveal the source of your frustration, the climax of a situation could result in a breakthrough rather than a breakdown.

DR – Feb 21, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
February 21, 2017

Daily Reflection

I’M PART OF THE WHOLE

At once, I became a part—if only a tiny part—of a cosmos. . . .
— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 225

When I first came to A.A., I decided that “they” were very nice people — perhaps a little naive, a little too friendly, but basically decent, earnest people (with whom I had nothing in common). I saw “them” at meetings—after all, that was where “they” existed. I shook hands with “them” and, when I went out the door, I forgot about “them.”

Then one day my Higher Power, whom I did not then believe in, arranged to create a community project outside of A.A., but one which happened to involve many A.A. members. We worked together, I got to know “them” as people. I came to admire “them,” even to like “them” and, in spite of myself, to enjoy “them.” “Their” practice of the program in their daily lives—not just in talk at meetings—attracted me and I wanted what they had. Suddenly the “they” became “we.” I have not had a drink since.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“The basic principles of the A.A. program, it appears, hold good for individuals with many different lifestyles, just as the program has brought recovery to those of many different nationalities. The Twelve Steps that summarize the program may be called los Doce Pasos
in one country, les Douze Etapes in another, but they trace exactly the same path to recovery that was blazed by the earliest members of Alcoholics Anonymous.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Foreward To Third Edition, Page

Keep It Simple

It easier to speak of love, than to practice it. –Anonymous

Do we help our neighbor who is in need? We must help when we see the need, not just when it fits our schedule. In the program, this becomes our goal. We work at helping out. For example, when someone is needed to run the meeting, we offer. We see that the needs of the group are also our needs. We are the group. Over time, the idea of service spreads to the rest of our lives. Maybe we help a family down the street. We start to see that we have something to offer the world; ourselves. We start to see that the needs of the world are also our needs. We are an important part of the world.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, make me quick to act when I see a need. Please don’t let my fear stop me..

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list what I have to offer the world. I will think of two ways I can use these gifts my Higher Power has given me.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You’ve been putting a lot of effort into personal growth and it feels good to flex your intellectual muscles. Unfortunately, you were so immersed in your agenda that you might have neglected the people who matter the most. Ironically, a friend’s petulant behavior is likely to be a reflection of your own emotional needs that aren’t being met while you concentrate on self-discovery. Although solitude is good for your soul, spending time with those you love is good for your heart.

The Foot Dropped

On By mikeykjrIn Personal, Work Rant

Another work related post.  In reality, a circle of events.  The point here is there is always positive with the negative.

My gut, which I tell people is my Higher Power, was telling me, “Mike, careful, something is just not right.” After the last couple of days events at work, I decided the best alternative was to keep to myself.  During dinner, my supervisor and the Director of Nursing (DON) paid me a visit on the floor.  They wanted to talk. “F**k. What now?”, I was thinking.

In a nutshell, I was given a verbal warning for my time management skills. Apparently my co-workers feel that I’m to slow at doing my job.  The DON also threw out I had mentioned I said, “I have until 11 p.m. to get all care done, so I’m not going to rush.” Oh, it gets better.  Another incident happened the other day which was brought up (which due to confidentiality, I can’t disclose here).  However, it ties into everything.

I completely shut down – mumbling, then not saying anything during the meeting.

Basically my employer is covering their own arse.  While the employer attempted to ask my side, I refused to say anything because I already knew they had made up their mind pointing the blame at me.  I was right.

Later in the evening, I switched floors to do care on some other residents.  There is a another CNA I’ve been talking to which I have connected with.  Her and I are on the same page.  She recognizes my fellow co-workers, “out to get you”.  I had disclosed to her I’m a recovering addict and my frustrations of the other day “driving me to drink”.  She in turn talked to my supervisor, apparently after their meeting with me, about her concerns not only how staff is treating me but the truth of what is really going on in the facility.  As we worked together, she was willing to help me with new time management skills she learned  over her 12 years of experience.  At the end of the day we chatted for about 45 minutes.  It was a great relief to know that she too was a recovering addict knowing exactly what I was going through.

I also had a talk with my supervisor expressing my concerns.  She reached out to me because “I saw that you shut down during the meeting, so I wanted to talk to you.” She is willing to address my concerns and try to change things.  She is beginning to recognize the problems (sexism, lack of communication, no teamwork, etc.).  After our discussion she asked that I don’t put in my letter of resignation (because that was exactly why I was talking to her in the first place).  So I’m giving her a chance.

Despite the bad news at the beginning, I was relieved at the end of the day.  I had felt completely alone.  Now I know that I’m not.  I have to be patient, willing to give it time for the wind to change in a positive direction.

Struggling

On By mikeykjrIn Personal, Work Rant4 Comments

I have vowed not to include work on this blog for various reasons. However, when my professional life (work) impacts my recovery, there is an opportunity for others to learn how We, the recovering addict, deal with our addictions on a daily basis.  This is one such time.

I am now a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) with only five months of experience.  The facility that I work at is currently understaffed, badly.  Everyone is miserable.  I vowed not to get involved, do what is required of me and leave on a daily basis without a further thought of what went on.  While that worked for a while, I have found that in recent weeks, I too became miserable.  Right now, I’m not in a good place.

I never boast about how many years of sobriety I have because it doesn’t matter.  Each of us just have today.  After nine years of sobriety, the last couple of days, I am struggling with keeping my sobriety.  Last night, it peaked; I thought about drinking.  Did I relapse?

Keep reading . . .

I knew that my job was going to be challenging.  A CNA is not an easy job.  The job is disgusting at times (literally); I take care of the elderly who can’t take care of themselves in all aspects of their lives, including toileting themselves. You just get use to it.  Residents can be quite the handful at times; each one has a range of medical problems and mental health issues.  As a CNA, you are required by state law to respect their rights.  You have to be a CNA because you enjoy those that you help no matter what is presented in front of  you.  Don’t get me wrong, I love working with these people no matter what they do or say to me.  I know that they are struggling inside to keep the last sanity they have, in the only way they know how.

On a daily basis, I am treated like shit by residents and even my own co-workers.  I am the low one on the totem pole, thus people take advantage of it (many times to the extreme).  In addition, there are not many male CNA’s.  Nursing is typically a women’s field.  I’ve been told “. . . you just have to deal with it”.

Right now, I feel like I’m fighting for my job.  I feel like my co-workers are all against me including management.  The don’t listen to what I have to say, as if I’m speaking a foreign language.  They don’t help asking me to do things that I’m not suppose to do.  Then when I complain of the illegal activity, they turn my words or events around as if I’m the problem.  They don’t help me when I ask for help, instead think I’m just an incompetent person.  There are dead wrong – I take the necessary time to ensure that my residents are cared for in the proper fashion and with the dignity and respect that any human being deserves!

Sorry I’m getting on tangents, but bare with me . . .now how sobriety plays a part.

Before I go into work, I say the Serenity Prayer.  During the day, I must say it over 1,000 times.  I’m not a person that prays.  Recently, I have really asked for guidance and help, yet I get no relief. Is there a lesson here that I should be learning besides patience and tolerance because if there is, I just don’t seem to get it.

Psychologically, its torture.  I don’t want to be there, nor do I want to work with my co-workers.  But the other side of me doesn’t want to abandon my residents.  They are human beings and should not be treated in the manner that I have witnessed.

My Sponsor and I have constant communication.  He doesn’t understand why I still work there.  He believes I should just look for another job and leave. With only five months of experience, it’s hard to get another job somewhere else; it’s just not that easy to pick up, leave and get another job.  He doesn’t understand because he hasn’t been in my shoes.  However, he has given me suggestions.

Last night, I called him on the verge of tears.  I was going to just walk off the job and I didn’t care about my license as a CNA.  I had a fear that I was going to drink; I didn’t trust myself.  I have so much anger, resentment, fear, etc. built up, I just didn’t know what to do.  We talked on my break but I have to cut him off because Gods forbid I was late coming back in.  The point is, he was there for me.  That got my through the last hour of work, home and I DID NOT DRINK.

This morning we went out for breakfast (I had to pay – another issue, later).  As always, he made suggestions.  Some I can do, others are difficult to implement.  But I still listened.

One suggestion was attending meetings.  I don’t go to enough because of my scattered schedule, complacency and timing.  All excuses.  I don’t MAKE THE TIME to get to meetings.  Yes, it would mean less sleep (I drive three hours a day to work, plus an eight hour day, so do the math).  But there are plenty of meetings right before work, that I can just attend a meeting, then drive to work.  There is even a meeting in a town that I drive through every day.  I just haven’t ever been to a meeting there.  So I’m going to take his suggestion because that is what Sponsee’s should do – ACT on SUGGESTIONS given by our Sponsors.

I have now lost my train of thought, if I really had one.  Recent events have put my mental capabilities to shambles; I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate, I can’t remember even the littlest things.  It’s rough.  I know it and I need to DO something about it.

This is where I feel that I’m a hypocrite.  I tell people going through something like this to think of a river, you’re standing on a stone in the middle of a river.  No matter what you do (build a dam to block it or control it), build a bridge or try to avoid it, etc., the river is going to keep flowing around you.  You need to DO something, like step off the stone, before the river just pulls you downstream and drowns you.  But do I take my own advice?

Perhaps this time I should!

DR – Feb 16, 2017

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
February 16, 2017

Daily Reflection

COMMITMENT

Understanding is the key to right principles and attitudes, and right
action is the key to good living.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 125

There came a time in my program of recovery when the third stanza of the Serenity Prayer — “The wisdom to know the difference” — became indelibly imprinted in my mind. From that time on, I had to face the ever-present knowledge that my every action, word and thought was within, or outside, the principles of the program. I could no longer hide behind self-rationalization, nor behind the insanity of my disease. The only course open to me, if I was to attain a joyous life for myself (and subsequently for those I love), was one in which I imposed on myself an effort of commitment, discipline, and responsibility.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there. He is not likely to get far in any direction if he fails to show unselfishness and love under his own roof. We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 127~

Keep It Simple

Friendships, like marriages, are dependent on avoiding the unforgivable.—John D. MacDonald

We need to remember that relationships are made up of people—people who are strong, but also fragile.

We don’t break easily, but we do break. We need to be aware of how fragile relationships are. Don’t say something that will hurt others even if it’s honest. It’s mean to be honest with someone, without showing that you care for the person’s feelings. We can learn to be honest without being cruel. The backbone of any relationship is this: we need to honor the rules and agreements we make. If we promise to be faithful to someone, we follow this rule. And we need to trust the other person to do the same. When we see that our agreements don’t work, we need to go to that person and talk about them.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me become a person who honors rules and agreements in my relationships.

Actions for the Day: I’ll make no promises today that I will not keep.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You know bottling your emotions doesn’t help in the long run, but sometimes it doesn’t feel safe to express them either. However, the magnetic Scorpio Moon intensifies your resentment and makes it harder to let go of a situation you feel was unfair or hurtful. Oddly enough, this inability to play nice works in your favor when courageous Mars and chatty Mercury conspire to give your feelings a verbal outlet. Taking the first step is always the hardest part of any process. But once you say your piece you’ll feel stronger than you did before. Bob Marley sang, “Get up; stand up for your rights.”