Daily Recovery Readings
July 7, 2020
. . . AND LETTING GO OF IT
“. . . primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone.”
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 76
Peace is possible for me only when I let go of expectations. When I’m trapped in thoughts about what I want and what should be coming to me, I’m in a state of fear or anxious anticipation and this is not conducive to emotional sobriety. I must surrender – over and over – to the reality of my dependence on God, for then I find peace, gratitude and spiritual security.
From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Big Book Quote
“Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. This just isn’t so. In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another. Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. We have seen men get well whose families have not returned at all. We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon.”
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 99~
24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book
Thought for the Day
We had become hopelessly sick people, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. The power that controlled us was greater than ourselves – it was John Barleycorn. Many drinkers have said: “I hadn’t gone that far; I hadn’t lost my job on account of drink; I still had my family; I managed to keep out of jail. True, I took too much sometimes and I guess I managed to make quite an ass of myself when I did, but I still thought I could control my drinking. I didn’t really believe that I was an alcoholic.” If I was one of these, have I fully changed my mind?
Meditation for the Day
Painful as the present time may be, you will one day see the reason for it. You will see that it was not only testing, but also a preparation for the life work, which you are to do. Have faith that your prayers and aspirations will some day be answered. Answered in a way that perhaps seems painful to you but is the only right way. Selfishness and pride often make us want things that are not good for us. They need to be burned out of our natures. We must be rid of the blocks, which are holding us back, before we can expect our prayers to be answered.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be willing to go through a time of testing. I pray that I may trust God for the outcome.
The Language of Letting Go – Codependency
Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session.
From: ” Woman, Sex, and Addiction”
—Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it’s not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn’t need to complain.
What does that mean? We won’t have feelings? We won’t feel overwhelmed? We won’t need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don’t have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn’t mean we need to be victims. It doesn’t mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn’t mean we won’t go on to set boundaries. It doesn’t mean we won’t take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. “Together” people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart – getting it all out – is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.
Touchstone – Men’s Meditation
Those who are mentally and emotionally healthy are those who have learned when to say yes, when to say no, and when to say whoopee!
—Willard S. Krabill
We men have fallen into many difficulties because of poorly defined personal boundaries. Some of us never learned to say no to our mothers and felt invaded or ruled by them. Or we never truly said no to our fathers – never went through a teenage rebellion to establish ourselves as adults. Others have gotten stuck saying no and have never learned to yield and say yes.
Boundary problems have been part of the difficulty in many areas of our lives. We’ve told ourselves we have no right to our yes or no, or we’ve said we’re strong enough to sacrifice for someone else, or we’ve welcomed the escape from ourselves in discarding our choice. Not saying no when we needed to or not saying yes when we wanted to has led many of us into doctors’ offices, courts, jails, lost jobs, divorces, and bad marriages. Now the inner voice of our Higher Power is showing us our limits and encouraging us to stand up for them.
I am learning to know myself by defining my boundaries and choosing when and when not to cross them.
“I believe much trouble and blood would be saved if we opened our hearts more.”
–Chief Joseph, NEZ PERCE
We are as sick as our secrets. Our ego takes over control of our lives and when that happens our minds get very sick. Then we hurt people and our minds will always justify our actions. Our minds will give us rationalization and excuses that we are justified in doing what we are doing.
My Creator, Let me live today with an open heart. Let me realize to be vulnerable is a strength, not a weakness. Let me realize the power of an open heart. Let me be available to truth. If I get into trouble, let me hear the whisper of your guidance. Let me make heart decisions and let my head catch up to that decision.
Daily Horoscope – Cancer
Don’t be so quick to volunteer for demanding responsibilities today. Although it’s understandable you want to show your dedication, you don’t want to set a precedent of behavior. If members of a group think you’re a pushover, they’ll keep giving you the jobs nobody else wants to do. This could put a great strain on your social and work relationships. If you’re filling in for someone who’s on leave, make it clear you are only available for a limited amount of time. No one else will make your boundaries for you; stand up for your time and energy.