All I can tell myself right now is, “Self. Pull it together. You just have eight hours left before your nine day vacation!” For years now I have taken the week off directly after Christmas into the New Year off. It’s not a luxurious getaway anywhere. It’s just time alone at home to get things done around the house. It’s also time for a reflection of the past year. And it’s just a time to relax, sleep in and be lazy.

Back in July, I put in my request for my vacation. Same week as last year, starting on the Monday after Christmas through the following week Wednesday. A total of nine days away from work. I was disappointed when initially it was denied. “All of December is blacked out for no vacations.” Interesting because I took the same days off last year. Eventually it was approved after a short discussion with the bosses.

The first question everyone asks is, “Where are you going?” Actually, no where. I would if I could but I can’t, as I don’t have any transportation. Meanwhile we have this new variant of COVID actively spreading so I don’t want to be caught somewhere getting it. Besides, I have plenty of things at home which need my attention anyway.

Honestly, my living quarters are a disaster; it looks like a college dorm room or a tornado went through while I was work. There is stuff all over the place (which is a complete exaggeration). It’s just very disorganized which is not like me at all. Things I’ve bought but decided later, I didn’t need it exactly at that moment. Empty boxes of stuff I opened but was to lazy to put the empty boxes in the trash. Piles of stacks of mail, unopened and opened, all junk. There is just disorganization everywhere. I just need to spend a day, two or three to throw out the old, clean and reorganize. Change things up for the New Year.

Most of all it’s time for me to reflect on the past year and look toward the future. Am I happy with what transpired last year? No. What do I need to change in the New Year? I need a list, write it all down and make small goals.

First, starting with work I have just given up on everything and anything. My motto starting next year is, “I don’t care.” Sad really. But I’ve come to the conclusion that no one else does from the top of the management chain down to the employees like myself that keep things running on a day to day basis. Part of it is me trying to make things better for everyone, the whole picture. But when I make suggestions, I get the response of, “Michael, this is the way its always been and it won’t change.” Or if I bring something up it just goes in one ear or another. Lastly, there is literally no communication between one person to the next. Or its just a blame game from one person to the next. Sometimes I feel like I speak a whole different language which no other man or woman understands but myself. So what’s the point? If people want to work in such an environment, so be it. It’s really not for me so perhaps I need to look elsewhere. Looking for other employment will be another Mt. Everest to climb for me. The question I wrestle with is at this point in my life, so I take the chance or just live out the rest of my life with the cards I have been drawn.

It’s the only week in the year where I become a really selfish person to think of no one else but myself. However, as long as I don’t hurt anyone in the process but instead work on things I need to work on I believe its for the best. So while I don’t have any plans to do anything special on my vacation, I do have things that definitely need attention. But I’m also not going to put them all down on a checklist. I earned the time to relax to take care of myself first. So that is what I’m going to do.