Daily Recovery Readings
September 8, 2019

Daily Reflection

“WE ASKED HIS PROTECTION”

We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

I could not manage my life alone. I had tried that road and failed. My “ultimate sin” dragged me down to the lowest level I have ever reached and, unable even to function, I accepted the fact that I desperately needed help. I stopped fighting and surrendered entirely to God.

Only then did I start growing! God forgave me. A Higher Power had to have saved me, because the doctors doubted that I would survive. I have forgiven myself now and I enjoy a freedom I have never before experienced. I’ve opened my heart and mind to Him. The more I learn, the less I know — a humbling fact — but I sincerely want to keep growing. I enjoy serenity, but only when I entrust my life totally to God. As long as I am honest with myself and ask for His help, I can maintain this rewarding existence.

Just for today, I strive to live His will for me — soberly.

I thank God that today I can choose not to drink.

Today, life is beautiful!

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, Page 44~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Another of the mottoes of A.A. is “But for the Grace of God.” Once we have fully accepted the program we become humble about our achievement. We do not take too much credit for our sobriety. When we see another suffering alcoholic in the throes of alcoholism, we say to ourselves: “But for the grace of God, there go I.” We do not forget the kind of people we were. We remember those we left behind us. And we are very grateful to the grace of God, which has given us another chance. Am I truly grateful for the grace of God?

Meditation for the Day

A consciousness of God’s presence as One who loves you makes all life different. The consciousness of God’s love promotes the opening of your whole being to God. It brings wonderful relief from the cares and worries of our daily lives. Relief brings peace and peace brings contentment. Try to walk in God’s love. You will have that peace which passes all understanding and a contentment that no one can take from you. Feel sure of God’s unfailing love and care for you and for all His children. There is freedom and serenity in those who walk in God’s love, held safe in His loving care.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may walk in God’s love. I pray that, as I go, I may feel the spring of God’s power in my steps and the joy of His love in my heart.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Stopping Our Pain

Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn.
—Beyond Codependency

There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us recovering from adult children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from early childhood to the present, that either hurt too much to feel or that we had no support and permission to deal with.

There are other inevitable sources of pain in our life too. There is the sadness and grief that comes when we experience change, even good change, as we let go of one part of our life, and begin our journey into the new.

There is pain in recovery, as we begin allowing ourselves to feel while dropping our protective shield of denial.

There is the pain that leads and guides us into better choices for our future.

We have many choices about how to stop this pain. We may have experimented with different options. Compulsive and addictive behaviors stop pain – temporarily. We may have used alcohol, other drugs, relationships, or sex to stop our pain.

We may talk compulsively or compulsively focus on other people and their needs as a way to avoid or stop our pain.

We may use religion to avoid our feelings.

We may resort to denial of how we are feeling to stop our pain.

We may stay so busy that we don’t have time to feel. We may use money, exercise, or food to stop our pain.

We have many choices. To survive, we may have used some of these options, only to find that these were Band Aids – temporary pain relievers that did not solve the problem. They did not really stop our pain; they postponed it.

In recovery, there is a better choice about how we may stop pain. We can face it and feel it. When we are ready, with our Higher Power’s help, we can summon the courage to feel the pain, let it go, and let the pain move forward – into a new decision, a better life.

We can stop the behaviors we are doing that cause pain, if that’s appropriate. We can make a decision to remove ourselves from situations that cause repeated, similar pain. We can learn the lesson our pain is trying to teach us.

If we are being pelted by pain, there is a lesson. Trust that idea. Something is being worked out in us. The answer will not come from addictive or other compulsive behaviors; we will receive the answer when we feel our feelings.

It takes courage to be willing to stand still and feel what we must feel. Sometimes, we have what seems like endless layers of pain inside us. Pain hurts. Grief hurts. Sadness hurts. It does not feel good. But neither does denying what is already there; neither does living a lifetime with old and new pockets of pain packed, stored, and stacked within.

It will only hurt for a while, no longer than necessary, to heal us. We can trust that if we must feel pain, it is part of healing, and it is good. We can become willing to surrender to and accept the inevitable painful feelings that are a good part of recovery.

Go with the flow, even when the flow takes us through uncomfortable feelings. Release, freedom, healing, and good feelings are on the other side.

Today, I am open and willing to feel what I need to feel. I am willing to stop my compulsive behaviors. I am willing to let go of my denial. I am willing to feel what I need to feel to be healed, healthy, and whole.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

It’s hard for me to keep my emotions inside. I want to express them now. That’s what a team is all about.
—Earvin “Magic” Johnson

We become part of a team in this program. That’s why all the Steps are written with the word we rather than I. We cannot fully surrender to renewal simply by reading about it, hearing about it, or thinking about it. We become participants, members, and peers. We go to meetings and express the details of our lives, and we learn from the stories of others. In our relationships we learn to let our emotions out.

When we say, “He’s hard to get to know,” we are talking about someone who doesn’t show feelings. Team members express their feelings to build a bond between themselves and gain a familiarity with each other. A man may say, “I’m the sort of guy who doesn’t do well in groups,” or “I’m not the type to express my feelings.” But for the sake of recovery, we must endure the awkwardness of learning new things. On this recovery team it is all right to come just the way we are, awkwardness and all.

Today, I will not hold back my emotions. I will let people know me.

Elder’s Meditation

“Keep your life simple because the more you get, the more complicated it becomes.”

–Joe Coyhis, STOCKBRIDGE-MUNSEE

The old ones say, lead a simple life. The society we live in is all about getting more houses, cars, luxury and credit cards. The law of worry says, the more you have, the more you need to worry. You get a house, then you need insurance, then you need to take care of the yard and the list goes on. Next, you may want a bigger house with a bigger yard which costs more in insurance. Along with the accumulation of materialism, are other “gifts.” Soon you become a slave and the materialism owns you. Lead a simple life and have peace of mind. Lead a simple life and be spiritual.

Creator, let my foundation be spiritual and simple.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Setting off to accomplish a huge project might trigger an alarm. You worry that you could get flack for letting someone down. Failure is always a possible result with any undertaking that requires an unknown amount of your limited resources. Yet, your fears don’t need to keep you from following your dreams. Nor must you allow a grand endeavor to shadow your heart. Keeping communication lines open enables everyone to maintain realistic expectations. Psychologist William James wrote, “It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 7, 2019

Daily Reflection

“OUR SIDE OF THE STREET”

We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 77-78

I made amends to my dad soon after I quit drinking. My words fell on deaf ears since I had blamed him for my troubles. Several months later I made amends to my dad again. This time I wrote a letter in which I did not blame him nor mention his faults. It worked, and at last I understood! My side of the street is all that I’m responsible for and — thanks to God and A.A. — it’s clean for today.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“…the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 39~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Another of the mottoes of A.A. is “Easy Does It.” This means that we just go along in A.A. doing the best we can and not getting steamed up over problems that arise in A.A. or outside of it. We alcoholics are emotional people and we have gone to excess in almost everything we have done. We have not been moderate in many things. We have not known how to relax. Faith in a Higher Power can help us to learn to take it easy. We are not running the world. I am only one among many. We are resolved to live normal, regular lives. From our A.A. experience we learn that “easy does it.” Have I learned to take it easy?

Meditation for the Day

“The eternal God is thy refuge and underneath are the everlasting arms.” Sheltering arms express the loving protection of God’s spirit. Human beings, in their troubles and difficulties need nothing so much as a refuge, a place to relax where they can lay down their burdens and get relief from cares. Say to yourself: “God is my refuge.” Say it until its truth sinks into your very soul. Say it until you know it and are sure of it. Nothing can seriously upset you or make you afraid, if God is truly your refuge.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may go each day to God as a refuge until fear goes and peace and security come. I pray that I may feel deeply secure in the Haven of His spirit.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Powerless over Others

Stop making excuses for other people.

Stop making excuses for ourselves.

While it is our goal to develop compassion and achieve forgiveness, acceptance, and love, it is also our goal to accept reality and hold people accountable for their behavior. We can also hold ourselves accountable for our own behavior and, at the same time, have compassion and understanding for ourselves.

When we claim powerlessness, we are not claiming irresponsibility. We have no power to control others, what they do, what they did, or what they might do. We’re stating that we are willing to end an ineffective life based on willpower and control. And we’re beginning a spiritual, mental, and emotional journey in which we take responsibility for ourselves.

We are not victims. We are not helpless. Accepting powerlessness when that is appropriate enables us to begin owning our true power to take care of ourselves.

Today, I will avoid making excuses for my own or someone else’s behavior. I will let consequences and responsibility fall where they belong.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Friendship and community are, first of all, inner qualities.

—Henri J. M. Nouwen

Many of us mistakenly search outside ourselves for answers. We feel small inside and not very powerful. Many of us men have tried to change our lives by affecting the people around us. Naturally, when we think of making friends, we assume we would start by getting a friend. But such beginnings often don’t lead very far.

Friendship begins as an inward attitude or feeling before it is expressed outwardly. Perhaps we could first notice whom we feel friendly toward. Whom do we admire? Whom do we feel an affinity with? Let that friendliness exist within, and it will begin to express itself. Are we grasping for acceptance or response? Let us remain with our own goodwill and not return to old attempts to get someone else to change. Friendship exists as a feeling of admiration, of love, of fellowship, without demand. And when we are another man’s friends, let us accept his friendship and enjoy it without trying to change it or him.

Today, I will simply notice my friendly feelings toward others.

Elder’s Meditation

“Education is the new weapon of Indian people.”

–Eddie Box, SOUTHERN UTE

People have the ability to adapt. In these modern times we must get educated so the people don’t lose. We need lawyers, doctors, nurses, foresters, scientists, educators, carpenters, welders. These skills are needed to help the people. While we are learning, we need to remember to keep the culture, learn the dances, sing the songs, learn the language and maintain the Red Road for future generations.

Great Spirit, let my education never lack the meaning and value of spirituality.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Words can sometimes get in the way of what the heart desires. Perhaps there are more emotions and thoughts swarming than you have the time or energy to organize. Don’t push yourself too hard if you’re not connecting to loved ones as you wish. Sometimes, expectations can stand between you and happiness. You don’t need to speak much today. Just be present, when there’s nothing to show or tell. A Spanish proverb states, “Open your mouth only if what you are going to say is more beautiful than the silence.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 6, 2019

Daily Reflection

REMOVING THREATS TO SOBRIETY

. . . except when to do so would injure them or others.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

Step Nine restores in me a feeling of belonging, not only to the human race but also to the everyday world. First, the Step makes me leave the safety of A.A., so that I may deal with non-A.A. people “out there,” on their terms, not mine. It is a frightening but necessary action if I am to get back into life. Second, Step Nine allows me to remove threats to my sobriety by healing past relationships. Step Nine points the way to a more serene sobriety by letting me clear away past wreckage, lest it bring me down.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

It works – it really does.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 88~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Another of the mottoes of A.A. is “Live and Let Live.” This, of course, means tolerance of people who think differently than we do, whether they are in A.A. or outside of A.A. We cannot afford the luxury of being intolerant or critical of other people. We do not try to impose our wills on those who differ from us. We are not “holier than thou.” We do not have all the answers. We are not better than other good people. We live the best way we can and we allow others to do likewise. Am I willing to live and let live?

Meditation for the Day

“And this is life eternal, that we may know Thee, the only true God.” Learning to know God as best you can draws the eternal life nearer to you. Freed from some of the limitations of humanity, you can grow in the things that are eternal. You can strive for what is real and of eternal value. The more you try to live in the consciousness of the unseen world, the gentler will be your passing into it when the time comes for you to go. This life on earth should be largely a preparation for the eternal life to come.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may live each day as though it were my last. I pray that I may live my life as though it were everlasting.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

The Good in Step Ten

Step Ten says: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” It does not suggest that we ignore what is right in our life. It says we continue to take a personal inventory and keep a focus on ourselves.

When we take an inventory, we will want to look for many things. We can search out feelings that need our attention. We can look for low self-esteem creeping back in. We can look for old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. We can look for mistakes that need correcting.

But a critical part of our inventory can focus on what we’re doing right and on all that is good around us.

Part of our codependency is an obsessive focus on what’s wrong and what we might be doing wrong – real or imagined. In recovery we’re learning to focus on what’s right.

Look fearlessly, with a loving, positive eye. What did you do right today? Did you behave differently today than you would have a year ago? Did you reach out to someone and allow yourself to be vulnerable? You can compliment yourself for that.

Did you have a bad day but dealt effectively with it? Did you practice gratitude or acceptance? Did you take a risk, own your power, or set a boundary? Did you take responsibility for yourself in a way that you might not have before?

Did you take time for prayer or meditation? Did you trust God? Did you let someone do something for you?

Even on our worst days, we can find one thing we did right. We can find something to feel hopeful about. We can find something to look forward to. We can focus realistically on visions of what can be.

God, help me let go of my need to stay immersed in negativity. I can change the energy in my environment and myself from negative to positive. I will affirm the good until it sinks in and feels real. I will also strive to find one quality that I like about someone else who’s important to me, and I will take the risk of telling him or her that.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

I learned to listen to my body with an inner concentration like meditation, to get guidance as to when to exercise and when to rest. I learned that healing and cure are active processes in which I myself needed to participate.

—Rollo May

In our spiritual growth, one of our movements is from passive to active, from helpless to responsive. For example, we are passive if we don’t take responsibility for our bodies and don’t care for our wellness and conditioning. Do we passively leave our health in the doctor’s hands?

Do we take responsibility for our relationships? Are we active in nurturing them? We could add our own interests and positive energy to enrich them.

Our Higher Power speaks to us in a quiet, subtle voice, which can easily be ignored until we learn to listen. It takes courage to listen to this inner voice. When we listen, we develop a relationship that is a strong force moving us into recovery. We are still powerless over many things, but we can make active choices in how we will grow and how we will respond.

I will be guided in my choices by my inner voice.

Elder’s Meditation

“We all form self-images and much of our behavior is pretty well determined by how we feel about ourselves.”

–Eunice Baumann-Nelson, Ph.D., PENOBSCOT

There is a cycle of building beliefs called the self talk cycle. Our self talk builds our self image and our self image determines our behavior, our actions, and our self worth – how we feel about ourselves. If we want to change the way we feel about ourselves we need to change our self talk. We need to build ourselves up. We need to talk to ourselves in a kind, positive, uplifting, good way. We need to talk to ourselves about the good things that are happening and know that we are worthy and expect abundance.

Oh Great Spirit, today help me to know myself. Help me to see the joy, kindness, strength and beauty that I am.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

People strike you as infinitely more interesting and enjoyable than the work on your plate now. Your plans seem to contain too many parts to manage and juggle, possibly leaving you overwhelmed and perplexed. You yearn for more simplicity, familiarity, and comfort. You might find it easier to reach satisfaction by eating foods you love and relaxing at home. Unfortunately, you can’t put too much work on the backburner today. So, recharge your spirit by engaging in activities that are revitalizing and then return to the important business at hand. When life gets blurry, adjust your focus.

Daily Recovery Readings
September 5, 2019

Daily Reflection

EMOTIONAL BALANCE

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, . . .

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 83

When I survey my drinking days, I recall many people whom my life touched casually, but whose days I troubled through my anger and sarcasm. These people are untraceable, and direct amends to them are not possible. The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only “changes for the better” I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine. Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 73~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

One of the mottoes of A.A. is “First Things First.” This means that we should always keep in mind that alcohol is our number one problem. We must never let any other problem; whether of family, business, friends, or anything else take precedence in our minds over our alcoholic problem. As we go along in A.A., we learn to recognize the things that may upset us emotionally. When we find ourselves getting upset over something, we must realize that it’s a luxury we alcoholics can’t afford. Anything that makes us forget our number one problem is dangerous to us. Am I keeping sobriety in first place in my mind?

Meditation for the Day

Spiritual progress is the law of your being. Try to see around you more and more of beauty and truth, knowledge and power. Today try to be stronger, braver, more loving as a result of what you did yesterday. This law of spiritual progress gives meaning and purpose to your life. Always expect better things ahead. You can accomplish much good through the strength of God’s spirit in you. Never be too discouraged. The world is sure to get better, in spite of setbacks of war, hate, and greed. Be part of the cure of the world’s ills, rather than part of the disease.

Prayer of the Day

I pray that I may keep progressing in the better life. I pray that I may be a part of the forces for good in the world.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Step Ten

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
—Step Ten of Al Anon

Once we have worked our way to this Step, we can maintain and increase our self-esteem by regularly working Step Ten. This Step incorporates the process we have gone through in Steps Four through Nine. We do not work this Step to punish ourselves or to hold ourselves under a constantly critical and demeaning microscope. We do it to maintain self-esteem and harmony in our relationship with others and ourselves. We do it to stay on track.

When an issue or problem emerges and needs our attention, identify it and openly discuss it with at least one safe person and God. Accept it. Become willing to let go of it. Ask God to take it from us. Have a change of heart by the willingness to make whatever amend is called for – to do what is necessary to take care of ourselves. Take an appropriate action to resolve the matter. Then let go of the guilt and shame.

This is a simple formula for taking care of ourselves. This is how we change. This is how we become changed. This is the process for healing and health. This is the process for achieving self-responsibility and self esteem.

The next time we do something that bothers us, the next time we feel off track or off course, we don’t have to waste our time or energy feeling ashamed. We can take a Tenth Step. Let the process happen. And move on with our life.

God, help me make this Step and other Steps a habitual way of responding to life and my issues. Help me know that I am free to live, to allow myself to fully experiment with and experience life. If I get off course, or if an issue arises that demands my attention, help me deal with it by using the Tenth Step.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

He brought me out into an open place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
—Psalms 18:19

We know in this program that our recovery was not an accident. We may be mystified by it or surprised to be feeling better. Some of us call it a miracle. We have worked hard in our recovery. We have suffered through some difficulties. Yet, our recovery is not an achievement or an accomplishment. It is a gift from our Higher Power. We were powerless to help ourselves. All we could do was ask for help.

As we live an improved life and enjoy the benefits of our growth, we may ask why we were given this gift. As we seek to know the will of God, the ancient passage quoted today offers an answer. “He rescued me because He delighted in me.” Can we let that in?

Thanks to God for all the rescued moments and for all the times I have been saved from my excesses.

Elder’s Meditation

“Decisions that have been made for the last couple of centuries have been decisions made without the presence of a real God….from the vision, not of God, but of money.”

–Tom Porter, MOHAWK

As we view the world today, it’s easy to see the people are off track. We are no longer living in harmony. Focusing on the material only leads us from the path of the Creator. We must now pray for ourselves and the people in a pitiful way. We must be humble and ask the Great Spirit to intervene because if we don’t, our children will continue to have troubles. They are acting out our behavior as adults. Today is a good time to start. We need to get the spiritual way back into our lives. We need to focus on the spiritual.

My Creator, help me to focus on the spiritual way.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may want to “try, try, try again” with something that you already tried enough times before. Thankfully, you’re not the same person as when you attempted this activity last time. Surprisingly, you could be aggravated with the wrong person or thing today. Instead, see your frustration as a sign to trigger your commitment to your own success. A breakthrough often happens when your back is against the wall. Author Robin Sharma wrote, “Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 3, 2019

Daily Reflection

EMOTIONAL BALANCE

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, . . .

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 83

When I survey my drinking days, I recall many people whom my life touched casually, but whose days I troubled through my anger and sarcasm. These people are untraceable, and direct amends to them are not possible. The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only “changes for the better” I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine. Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

Psychologists are inclined to agree with us. We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. We know but few instances where we have given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth nor have we followed their advice. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and their chance for recovery.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 73~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

One of the mottoes of A.A. is “First Things First.” This means that we should always keep in mind that alcohol is our number one problem. We must never let any other problem; whether of family, business, friends, or anything else take precedence in our minds over our alcoholic problem. As we go along in A.A., we learn to recognize the things that may upset us emotionally. When we find ourselves getting upset over something, we must realize that it’s a luxury we alcoholics can’t afford. Anything that makes us forget our number one problem is dangerous to us. Am I keeping sobriety in first place in my mind?

Meditation for the Day

Spiritual progress is the law of your being. Try to see around you more and more of beauty and truth, knowledge and power. Today try to be stronger, braver, more loving as a result of what you did yesterday. This law of spiritual progress gives meaning and purpose to your life. Always expect better things ahead. You can accomplish much good through the strength of God’s spirit in you. Never be too discouraged. The world is sure to get better, in spite of setbacks of war, hate, and greed. Be part of the cure of the world’s ills, rather than part of the disease.

Prayer of the Day

I pray that I may keep progressing in the better life. I pray that I may be a part of the forces for good in the world.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Step Ten

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
—Step Ten of Al Anon

Once we have worked our way to this Step, we can maintain and increase our self-esteem by regularly working Step Ten. This Step incorporates the process we have gone through in Steps Four through Nine. We do not work this Step to punish ourselves or to hold ourselves under a constantly critical and demeaning microscope. We do it to maintain self-esteem and harmony in our relationship with others and ourselves. We do it to stay on track.

When an issue or problem emerges and needs our attention, identify it and openly discuss it with at least one safe person and God. Accept it. Become willing to let go of it. Ask God to take it from us. Have a change of heart by the willingness to make whatever amend is called for – to do what is necessary to take care of ourselves. Take an appropriate action to resolve the matter. Then let go of the guilt and shame.

This is a simple formula for taking care of ourselves. This is how we change. This is how we become changed. This is the process for healing and health. This is the process for achieving self-responsibility and self esteem.

The next time we do something that bothers us, the next time we feel off track or off course, we don’t have to waste our time or energy feeling ashamed. We can take a Tenth Step. Let the process happen. And move on with our life.

God, help me make this Step and other Steps a habitual way of responding to life and my issues. Help me know that I am free to live, to allow myself to fully experiment with and experience life. If I get off course, or if an issue arises that demands my attention, help me deal with it by using the Tenth Step.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

He brought me out into an open place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.
—Psalms 18:19

We know in this program that our recovery was not an accident. We may be mystified by it or surprised to be feeling better. Some of us call it a miracle. We have worked hard in our recovery. We have suffered through some difficulties. Yet, our recovery is not an achievement or an accomplishment. It is a gift from our Higher Power. We were powerless to help ourselves. All we could do was ask for help.

As we live an improved life and enjoy the benefits of our growth, we may ask why we were given this gift. As we seek to know the will of God, the ancient passage quoted today offers an answer. “He rescued me because He delighted in me.” Can we let that in?

Thanks to God for all the rescued moments and for all the times I have been saved from my excesses.

Elder’s Meditation

“Decisions that have been made for the last couple of centuries have been decisions made without the presence of a real God….from the vision, not of God, but of money.”

–Tom Porter, MOHAWK

As we view the world today, it’s easy to see the people are off track. We are no longer living in harmony. Focusing on the material only leads us from the path of the Creator. We must now pray for ourselves and the people in a pitiful way. We must be humble and ask the Great Spirit to intervene because if we don’t, our children will continue to have troubles. They are acting out our behavior as adults. Today is a good time to start. We need to get the spiritual way back into our lives. We need to focus on the spiritual.

My Creator, help me to focus on the spiritual way.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may want to “try, try, try again” with something that you already tried enough times before. Thankfully, you’re not the same person as when you attempted this activity last time. Surprisingly, you could be aggravated with the wrong person or thing today. Instead, see your frustration as a sign to trigger your commitment to your own success. A breakthrough often happens when your back is against the wall. Author Robin Sharma wrote, “Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 4, 2019

Daily Reflection

RECONSTRUCTION

Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. . . .

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83

The reconstruction of my life is the prime goal in my recovery as I avoid taking that first drink, one day at a time. The task is most successfully accomplished by working the Steps of our Fellowship. The spiritual life is not a theory; it works, but I have to live it. Step Two started me on my journey to develop a spiritual life; Step Nine allows me to move into the final phase of the initial Steps which taught me how to live a spiritual life. Without the guidance and strength of a Higher Power, it would be impossible to proceed through the various stages of reconstruction. I realize that God works for me and through me. Proof comes to me when I realize that God did for me what I could not do for myself, by removing that gnawing compulsion to drink. I must continue daily to seek God’s guidance. He grants me a daily reprieve and will provide the power I need for reconstruction.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 100~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

“We must be careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. We are not fanatics or intolerant of people who can drink normally. Prospects are relieved when they find we are not witch burners. Temperate drinking is okay, but we alcoholics can’t get away with it. And no alcoholic likes to be told about alcohol by anyone who hates it. We shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility.” Do I have tolerance for those who can drink normally?

Meditation for the Day

Do not become encumbered by petty annoyances. Never respond to emotional upsets by emotional upset. Try to keep calm in all circumstances. Try not to fight back. Call on the grace of God to calm you when you feel like retaliating. Look to God for the inner strength to drop those resentments that drag you down. If you are burdened by annoyances, you will lose your inward peace and the spirit of God will be shut out. Try to keep peaceful within.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may do the things that make for peace. I pray that I may have a mission of conciliation.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Finding Direction

I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people’s lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.

—Anonymous

We each have a life to live, one that has purpose and meaning. We can help our Higher Power give direction and purpose to our life by setting goals.

We can set goals annually, monthly, or daily in times of crisis. Goals create direction and pace; goals help us achieve a manageable life that is directed in the course we choose for ourselves.

We can help give our lives direction by setting goals.

Today, I will pay attention to setting a course of action for my life, rather than letting others control my life and affairs.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

It is as important to cultivate your silence power, as it is your word power.

—William James

We bless ourselves with renewal and healing when we retreat from the world for a few private moments of silence. The power we cultivate in silence isn’t generated by us; that power comes to us. We can do this by deliberately withdrawing from all distractions. Then we quiet our inner selves by concentrating on deep relaxation, thinking about a brief reading, or by praying.

Most of us already have a personal island of renewal that we have turned to many times in the past for serenity and strength. We can use it and turn to it daily. This natural pattern is necessary for a strong and healthy life. It builds our relationship with our Higher Power and ourselves. In our problems with self-esteem, we often label as worthless the quiet, subtle things we do, but these very things are essential to build our strength and self esteem.

I will take time for silence to receive the power it gives in my life.

Elder’s Meditation

“The Elders say that if you want something good, you have to suffer for it.”

–Chuck Ross, LAKOTA

People sometimes have a misconception of sacrifice. This is a strong word for Indian people. On the other side of sacrifice is another whole world. During sacrifice, our beliefs are tested. We may all have good beliefs but if you test a good belief, then you get real beliefs. Real beliefs make new people; real beliefs make new self images. Real beliefs allow determination and desires and faith to come true. Good is always available to us but we often can’t bring it within until we let go of the old ways. We let go of the old ways by suffering. Suffering is only letting go of things that don’t work anymore. On the other side of suffering is a new world.

Creator, help me to let go of old ways. Let my old thoughts and beliefs be abandoned. Every change is preceded by struggle. Help me go through the struggle today.

Elder’s Meditation

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Too much hustle and bustle is nerve-racking today. You are much more likely to find insight, clarity, and peace when you mosey off to quieter places. Make sure you’re well fed and rested if you must be socially active now. Otherwise, you can quickly become cranky and feel energetically drained. One way to sustain a positive attitude is to keep a memento from home in your pocket or to recreate the security of hominess in your workspace. If you must be away, you could do something as simple as wearing your most comfortable shoes or your favorite sweater. Never sacrifice your emotional well-being for the sake of appearances.

Daily Recovery Readings
September 3, 2019

Daily Reflection

BUILDING A NEW LIFE

We feel a man is unthinking when he says sobriety is enough.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 82

When I reflect on Step Nine, I see that physical sobriety must be enough for me. I need to remember the hopelessness I felt before I found sobriety, and how I was willing to go to any lengths for it. Physical sobriety is not enough for those around me, however, since I must see that God’s gift is used to build a new life for my family and loved ones. Just as importantly, I must be available to help others who want the A.A. way of life.

I ask God to help me share the gift of sobriety so that its benefits may be shown to those I know and love.

From the book Daily Reflections
|Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 84~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

“Offer new prospects friendship and fellowship. Tell them that if they want to get well you will do anything to help. Burn the idea into the consciousness of new prospects that they can get well, regardless of anyone else. Job or no job, spouse or no spouse, they cannot stop drinking as long as they place dependence on other people ahead of dependence on God. Let no alcoholic say they cannot recover unless they have their family back. This just isn’t so. Their recovery is not dependent upon other people. It is dependent on their own relationship to God.” Can I recognize all excuses made by a prospect?

Meditation for the Day

The spiritual life depends upon the Unseen. To live the spiritual life, you must believe in the Unseen. Try not to lose the consciousness of God’s spirit in you and in others. As a child in its mother’s arms, stay sheltered in the understanding and love of God. God will relieve you of the weight of worry and care, misery and depression, want and woe, faintness and heartache, if you will let Him. Life up your eyes from earth’s troubles and view the glory of the unseen God. Each day try to see more good in people, more of the Unseen in the seen.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may rest and abide in the presence of the unseen God. I pray that I may leave my burdens in His care.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Word Power

I know I’m controlling, but so is my husband. Possibly more controlling than I am. Each time I set out to leave him, each time I started to walk away, he knew exactly what to say to pull me back in. And he knew I’d respond. He knew how to say exactly what I needed to hear to keep me where he wanted me. He knew what he was doing, and he knew what I would do. I know, because after we began recovering, he told me so.

—Anonymous

Some of us are so vulnerable to words.

A well timed “I love you.” A chosen moment for “I’m sorry.” An excuse delivered in the right tone of voice. A pat on the head. A dozen roses. A kiss. A greeting card. A few words that promise love that has yet to be delivered can spin us into denial. Sometimes, it can keep us denying that we are being lied to, mistreated, or abused.

There are those who deliberately set out to sway us, to control and manipulate us through cheap talk! They know, they fully understand our vulnerability to a few well-timed words! Break through your naivete. They know what they’re doing. They understand their impact on us!

We do not have to give such power to words, even though the words may be just what we want and need to hear, even though they sound so good, even though the words seem to stop the pain.

Sooner or later, we will come to realize that if behavior doesn’t match a person’s words, we are allowing ourselves to be controlled, manipulated, and deceived. Sooner or later, we will come to realize that talk is cheap, unless the person’s behavior matches it.

We can come to demand congruency in the behavior and the words of those around us. We can learn to not be manipulated, or swayed, by cheap talk.

We cannot control what others do, but we can choose our own behaviors and our own course of action. We do not have to let cheap, well-timed talk control us – even if the words we hear are exactly what we want to hear to stop our pain.

Today, I will let go of my vulnerability to words. God, help me trust myself to know the truth, even when I am being deceived. Help me cherish those relationships where there is congruity. Help me believe I deserve congruity and truth in the behavior and the words of those I care about.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

It is clear the future holds opportunities – it also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to seize the opportunities, avoid the pitfalls, and get back home by 6:00.

—Woody Allen

Sometimes we take ourselves far too seriously. We draw our lives in the absolutes of black and white, with no shadings of gray. We believe our whole lives depend on every decision we make. When a problem comes along, we see it as a crisis rather than another of the ongoing issues that confront all people. If we are displeased with someone, or if a person is upset with us, we amplify the feelings until we rupture the whole relationship.

It would be helpful to look at today’s tasks and problems as a game. Yes, we would like to play the game well, but we could have a good time while doing it. If we don’t take our problems or ourselves too seriously, maybe we’ll have some fun.

Help me learn that daily living needs the light of humor.

Elder’s Meditation

“Once you have achieved this oneness, when you talk, God talks; when you act, God acts.”

–Chuck Ross, LAKOTA

In my innermost self, I know this to be true. I know of this oneness. The more I am free of doubt, jealousy, judgment, selfishness, anger, the closer I am to this oneness. When I am right with the Creator, nothing can touch me. When I am right with the Creator I always say the right things. When I am right with the Creator, my thoughts are always good. When I am right with the Creator, my actions are always good.

Great Spirit, remove from me those things that block me from You. Allow me this day to experience the oneness.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You can easily flood people with too many ideas at once. Although you’re energized to chat and share what’s on your mind today, you might come off pushier than you intend. Organizing your plans or writing them out before you talk enables you to convey your message successfully. Sometimes, you need to take the time to sift through your thoughts and polish your presentation. Pausing to listen also improves your communication skills. Hop back to give someone the opportunity to step forward.

Daily Recovery Readings
September 2, 2019

Daily Reflection

FINDING “A REASON TO BELIEVE”

The willingness to grow is the essence of all spiritual development.

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 171

A line from a song goes, “. . . and I look to find a reason to believe . . .” It reminds me that at one time I was not able to find a reason to believe that my life was all right. Even though my life had been saved by my coming to A.A., three months later I went out and drank again. Someone told me: “You don’t have to believe. Aren’t you willing to believe that there is a reason for your life, even though you may not know yourself what that reason is, or that you may not sometimes know the right way to behave?” When I saw how willing I was to believe there was a reason for my life, then I could start to work on the Steps. Now when I begin with, “I am willing. . . ,” I am using the key that leads to action, honesty, and an openness to a Higher Power moving through my life.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Unless ones family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than our words. We must remember that ten or twenty years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone”.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 83~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

“Outline the program of action to new prospects, explaining how you made a self appraisal, how you straightened out your past, and why you are now endeavoring to help them. It is important for them to realize that your attempt to pass this on to them plays a vital part in your own recovery. The more hopeless they feel, the better. They will be more likely to follow your suggestions. Tell them about the fellowship of A.A. and if they show interest, lend them a copy of the Big Book.” Can I tell the A.A. story to another alcoholic?

Meditation for the Day

You should try to stand aside and let God work through you. You should try not to block Him off by your own efforts, or prevent His spirit working through you. God desires your obedient service and your loyalty to the ideals of the new life you are seeking. If you are loyal to God, He will give you protection against mistakes. His spirit will plan for you and secure for you a sufficiency of all spiritual help. You will have true victory and real success, if you will put yourself in the background and let God work through you.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not interfere with the working of God’s spirit in me and through me. I pray that I may give it full rein.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Detaching with Love with Children

It’s one thing to let go of my husband and let him suffer the consequences. But how do I let go of my children? Isn’t it different with children? Don’t we have responsibilities as parents?

—Al Anon member

We do have different responsibilities to our children than to other adults. We are financially responsible for our children; we are responsible for providing for their material and physical needs.

Our children need to be taught how to help themselves – from tying their shoes to making social plans. They need our love and guidance. They need consistent enforcement of boundaries, once we’ve established limits. They need a supportive, nurturing environment in which to grow. They need help learning values.

But we are not responsible for controlling our children. Contrary to popular belief, controlling doesn’t work. Discipline and nurturing do – if combined. Shame and guilt interfere with our children’s learning and our parenting. We need to respond to our children in a responsible way and hold them accountable for their actions at an age appropriate level. We need only do our best.

We can let our children have their own process of living; we can have our own process. And, we can take care of ourselves during that process. Seek balance. Seek wisdom, Seek not to have control, but to own our power as people who are parents.

Today, God, help me find an appropriate balance of responsibility to my children. Help me parent through nurturing and discipline, instead of control.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work.

—Geoffrey Norman

Exercise changes our thought patterns in beneficial ways. Often we may feel irritable or blue and see nothing we can do about the situation. Then we are amazed at what simply going for a half hour walk will do. Although our situations don’t change, we are changed in how we respond to them. Exercise – whether going for a walk, working in the garden, playing ball, or scrubbing a floor – clears our minds. After some physical movement we find our thoughts getting clearer. Ideas come to mind that help us cope, and our spirit is energized.

Science has demonstrated that many serious cases of depression respond just as well to a program of vigorous daily exercise as to traditional treatment. In a sense, our Higher Power speaks to us through our muscles and bones when we move them. This spiritual experience, like many others, never comes from thinking about it, only from doing it.

Today, I will make time for physical activity.

Elder’s Meditation

“I remember Dawson (No Horse) said, ‘Once you say your prayers, don’t worry about them. If you worry about them, they’ll just fade away.’”

–Chuck Ross, LAKOTA

Today I need to remember You are everywhere. I need to remember how much You love me. I need to know, Grandfathers, that You are always listening. Today I need to know how much You care. Today I will remember the advice of the Elders. “Say your prayers and then don’t worry – know that the Great One has heard you.” It’s so much easier to do this, Grandfather, when I feel connected to You.

My Creator, allow me this day to feel your presence. Let me walk the path of life today and talk to You many times. Give me faith, my Grandfather.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Captivating conversations or fascinating research could easily draw you into a deep vortex now. In the heat of the moment, some discoveries or discussions may become overly passionate and all-consuming. You might have to pull yourself away, if only to stop from growing too excited or distracted from your responsibilities. Nevertheless, you’re also liable to feel renewed and recharged from your heady pursuits. Dive into these exhilarating learning adventures but leave enough time to accomplish today’s important tasks. A Guinean proverb teaches, “Knowledge without wisdom is like water in the sand.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 1, 2019

Daily Reflection

WILLINGNESS TO GROW

If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on.

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 8

Sobriety fills the painful “hole in the soul” that my alcoholism created. Often I feel so physically well that I believe my work is done. However, joy is not just the absence of pain; it is the gift of continued spiritual awakening. Joy comes from ongoing and active study, as well as application of the principles of recovery in my everyday life, and from sharing that experience with others. My Higher Power presents many opportunities for deeper spiritual awakening. I need only to bring into my recovery the willingness to grow. Today I am ready to grow.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn’t be shy
on this matter of prayer. Better men than we are using it constantly.“

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 8

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

“Be careful not to brand new prospects as alcoholics. Let them draw their own conclusion. But talk to them about the hopelessness of alcoholism. Tell them exactly what happened to you and how you recovered. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If they are agnostics or atheists, make it emphatic that they do not have to agree with your conception of God. They can choose any conception they like, provided it makes sense to them. The main thing is that they be willing to believe in a Power greater than themselves and that they live by spiritual principles.” Do I hold back too much in speaking of the spiritual principles of the program?

Meditation for the Day

“I will never leave nor forsake thee.” Down through the centuries, thousands have believed in God’s constancy, untiringness, and unfailing love. God has love. Then forever you are sure of His love. God has power. Then forever you are sure, in every difficulty and temptation, of His strength. God has patience. Then always there is One who can never tire. God has understanding. Then always you will understand and be understood. Unless you want Him to go, God will never leave you. He is always ready with power.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may feel that God’s love will never fail. I pray that I may have confidence in His unfailing power.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

The Language of Letting Go

Patience

Sometimes we get what we want right away. At other times, we wonder if our desires will ever be fulfilled.

We will be fulfilled in the best way possible and as quickly as possible. But some things take time. Sometimes, we have lessons to learn first, lessons that prepare us so we can accept the good we deserve. Things are being worked out in us, and in others. Blocks in us are being removed. A solid foundation is being laid.

Be patient, Relax and trust. Let go. Then, let go some more. Good things are planned for us. We will receive them at the first available moment. We will have all our heart longs for. Relax and trust.

Today, I will identify what I want and need; then, I’ll be willing to let go of it. I will devote my energy to living my life today, so I may master my lessons as quickly as possible. I will trust that what I want and need is coming to me. I will let go of my need to control the details.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

If you wish to make an apple pie truly from scratch, you must first invent the universe.

—Carl Sagan

Everything is given to us. Our lives came forth with no plan on our part. We have no lease on life and no control, ultimately, over any possession. In the addictive and codependent families most of us came from, we learned something else. We learned a lonely arrogance that said, “I should be self sufficient. I have earned everything that ever came to me.” Deep down we probably knew how untrue that was, and we felt great self-doubt.

The cure we learn in this program for our lonely arrogance is a miracle and a blessing. We accept that we are part of a larger whole. Now it dawns on us – all of our friends and relatives share this basic powerlessness. We are all pilgrims. We are all guests. We are all stewards of creation. We can be close, and we must help one another because everyone is equally vulnerable.

I am grateful to my Higher Power today for the life, which has been given me. I pray for greater understanding of my responsibilities.

Elder’s Meditation

“Everyone has a song. God gives us each a song. That’s how we know who we are. Our song tells us who we are.”

–Charlie Knight, UTE

As we start to walk the Red Road and as we develop ourselves as Warriors, a song will come to us. This song is given to each of us from the Great Spirit. Whenever we sing this song, we will receive courage and strength, not only for ourselves but if we sing this song for others, it will also help them. The song will give us power and make us feel really good. The song will make us see life in a sacred way. If you don’t have your song yet, ask the Creator in prayer if He will give you your song. With the song comes a responsibility – the responsibility to act and conduct oneself as a Warrior according to your song.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Be extra nice today and no one will come up short. A tense situation at home benefits from more gentleness than forceful action. Don’t rush to smooth things over since you might skip an important step in your haste. This move could be as simple as asking someone how they are before you wade deep into a lengthy discussion about a thorny issue. Or it might be prudent to take a nap before tackling a big housekeeping chore. A light touch works wonders. Author J. M. Barrie wrote, “Always be a little kinder than necessary.”