DR – February 5, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
February 5, 2020

Daily Reflection

A GLORIOUS RELEASE

“The minute I stopped arguing, I could begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now. To acquire it, I had only to stop fighting and practice the rest of A.A.’s program as enthusiastically as I could.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27

After years of indulging in a “self-will run riot,” Step Two became for me a glorious release from being all alone. Nothing is so painful or insurmountable in my journey now. Someone is always there to share life’s burdens with me. Step Two became a reinforcement with God, and I now realize that my insanity and ego were curiously linked. To rid myself of the former, I must give up the latter to one with far broader shoulders than my own.

Big Book Quote

“If we skip this vital step (5th Step), we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 72~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

One thing we learn in A.A. is to take a long view of drinking instead of a short view. When we were drinking we thought more about the pleasure or release that a drink would give us than we did about the consequences that would result from our taking that drink. Liquor looks good from the short view. When we look in a package store window, we see liquor dressed up in its best wrappings, with fancy labels and decorations. They look swell. But have I learned that what’s inside those beautiful bottles is just plain poison to me?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that life is a school in which I must learn spiritual things. I must trust in God and He will teach me. I must listen to God and He will speak through my mind. I must commune with Him in spite of all opposition and every obstacle. There will be days when I will hear no voice in my mind and when there will come no intimate heart to heart communion. But if I persist, and make a life habit of schooling myself in spiritual things, God will reveal Himself to me in many ways.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may regularly go to school in things of the spirit. I pray that I may grow spiritually by making a practice of these things.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Financial Responsibility

We are responsible for ourselves financially.

What a frightening, grown up thought that is for many of us – taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade off in our relationships.

Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we’re seeking in recovery.

Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?

Taxes… savings plans…appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility…. Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.

Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.

God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Show me the lessons I need to learn about money.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The human animal needs a freedom seldom mentioned: freedom from intrusion. He needs a little privacy quite as much as he wants understanding or vitamins or exercise or praise.

—Phyllis McGinley

The boundaries between us in our families and our friendships often need to be reshaped in recovery. We need to know our feelings are private. We reveal them at our choosing, with whom we choose. We give up on mind reading or probing because it intrudes upon another’s privacy. We actively engage in our relationships by sharing ourselves and listening to each other.

A secret that makes a relationship dishonest is destructive and ought to be told. But we cannot force another person to be honest, or pry the truth from a loved one. We can only be honest ourselves and guard our own right to privacy. Intimacy is the bridge, which is built between two separate people. Only when we let others have their privacy and we take ours can our relationships be more intimate.

I will maintain the boundaries of my privacy today and respect the right of others to do the same.

Elder’s Meditation

“Let the person I serve express his thanks according to his own bringing up and his sense of humor.”

–Charles A. Eastman (Ohiyesa), SANTEE SIOUX

“It is better to give than receive.” But it doesn’t really matter if we are giving or receiving. There is an identical feeling associated with both. We get this feeling every time we receive. We can’t control when we receive gifts but we can control when we give gifts. Therefore, the more we give, the better we feel. When we are given gifts, or someone does something for us, it is the Indian way to honor this person.

Great Spirit, let me honor and be respectful to those who are good to me today.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Nurturing others comes naturally to you now and always. But your needs become the priority when the attentive Moon enters your 1st House of Self today. Instead of lavishing your nearest and dearest with tender loving care, do something nice for your own benefit. Going somewhere beautiful and unexpected would satisfy your need for contemplation and intellectual stimulation now. Follow the example of a friend who recently realized a dream after a period of uncertainty and doubt. You can achieve the same success by following your heart. As a Water sign, you’ve been blessed with an uncanny intuition. Always listen to it.

The Beginnings of a New Life

I just finished two full days of work. Now I have two days off before I start my regular shift four nights, Thursday through Sunday. Part of me questions whether I’m going to last four days straight while the other part says, “Suck it up buttercup. Be grateful you have a job to begin with.”

The job isn’t hard. I actually enjoy doing something different every day. It’s the continuous walking for eleven hours. Technically its ten because I get an hour lunch. The point is by the time I get home, my legs just simply go numb (an exaggeration). It’s going to take time to get use walking long distances again. To be honest, I have a bike but I’m to damn lazy to have someone fix the chain that keeps falling off and adjusting the handlebars so they don’t move up and down. So I could resolve the problem, instead I admit my stubbornness. So I really shouldn’t complain.

One thing I find important based on my past is to keep the same sleeping schedule all week. Therefore I am going to head to bed around 10pm while waking up at 6pm. This will give me enough time to wake up with my morning Java and attend a meeting at night. Most of my appointments will be scheduled early in the morning on my days off.

There is a future opportunity, so I was told, I may be offered to work full-time. It would be nice in the pocket. Yet if it doesn’t happen for a while, I’m going to have to do my best living to pay rent, food and bills to the best of my ability with what I get paid. It’s going to be really tight. But at this point in time, I really have no choice. Besides I’m looking forward to living on my own again.

I ended staying up more than 24 hours on my first day of work. Last night, my roommate moved and through that process I just couldn’t sleep with all the banging. I did eventually fall asleep later for a couple of hours, so that helped. I’m actually surprised my brain is functioning right now. I can already feel my eyelids begin to become heavy so its time to start getting to bed.

Lastly, I have to remember to be grateful I have a job. This job gives me more opportunities to better myself by living independently from the programs I have live in for the last fourteen months. This is just the beginning of a brand new life again. I’m looking forward to it.

DR – February 4, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
February 4, 2020


Daily Reflection

WHEN FAITH IS MISSING

Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or rejected faith than to those who never had any faith at all, for they think they have tried faith and found it wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way of no faith.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous. Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my faith was resurrected.


Big Book Quote

“We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about the others’ alcoholic troubles. This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Among us, these are rare occurrences. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 125~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Treating others to drinks gave us a kind of satisfaction. We liked to say, “Have a drink on me.” But we were not really doing the other people a favor. We were only helping them to get drunk, especially if they happened to be alcoholic. In A.A., we really try to help other alcoholics. We build them up instead of tearing them down. Drinking created a sort of fellowship. But it really was a false fellowship, because it was based on selfishness. We used our drinking companions for our own pleasure. In A.A., we have real fellowship, based on unselfishness and a desire to help each other. And we make real friends, not fair weather friends. With sobriety, have I got everything that drinking’s got, without the headaches?

Meditation for the Day

I know that God cannot teach anyone who is trusting in a crutch. I will throw away the crutch of alcohol and walk in God’s power and spirit. God’s power will so invigorate me that I shall indeed walk on to victory. There is never any limit to God’s power. I will go step by step, one day at a time. God’s will shall be revealed to me as I go forward.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have more and more dependence on God. I pray that I may throw away my alcoholic crutch and let God’s power take its place.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Enjoying Recovery

What a journey!

This process of growth and change takes us along an ever-changing road. Sometimes the way is hard and craggy. Sometimes we climb mountains. Sometimes we slide down the other side on a toboggan.

Sometimes we rest.

Sometimes we grope through the darkness. Sometimes we’re blinded by sunlight.

At times many may walk with us on the road; sometimes we feel nearly alone.

Ever changing, always interesting, always leading someplace better, someplace good.

What a journey!

Today, God, help me relax and enjoy the scenery. Help me know I’m right where I need to be on my journey.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.

—Carlos Castaneda

Were we offended by someone today? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.

Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn’t matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position, which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.

How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better men, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals. I will accept others’ imperfections; I do not need to be right.


Elder’s Meditation

“We say there is a right time and place for everything. It’s easy to say, but hard to understand. You have to live it to understand it.”

–Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

The Elders tell us there is a right time and a right place. Don’t plant seeds in the fall – wrong time. One way we find out about the right time and right place is our experience. If we are lucky, we have a few friends who will share their experience; this will help us too. The best way is to let God guide us. Only He knows the right time and the right place. So we need to pray and ask Him for guidance.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Insights are easy to come by today, but their quiet whispers invite you back into your shell where you can hear them more clearly. Don’t hesitate to turn in early if you’re exhausted when you get home — you’re much more comfortable in your own little world. Focus on getting your work done earlier in the day, before the touchy Moon completes a difficult square with blinding Neptune. Subconscious influences can bring on confusing interactions, making it difficult to see eye-to-eye with someone. Let a phone call from an annoying relative go to voicemail.

DR – February 3, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
February 3, 2020


Daily Reflection

FILLING THE VOID

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47

I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless academic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge was my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer man’s solution to life’s problems and the solution was alcohol. In spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God’s love. There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in A.A.


Big Book Quote

“When drinking, or getting over a bout, an alcoholic, sometimes the model of honesty when normal, will do incredible things. Afterward, his revulsion will be terrible. Nearly always, these antics indicate nothing more than temporary conditions.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, To Employers, pg. 140~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

By drinking, we escaped from boredom for a while. We almost forgot our troubles. But when we sobered up, our troubles were twice as bad. Drinking had only made them worse. In A.A., we really escape boredom. Nobody’s bored at an A.A. meeting. We stick around after it’s over and we hate to leave. Drinking gave us a temporary feeling of importance. When we’re drinking, we kid ourselves into thinking we are somebody. We tell tall stories to build ourselves up. In A.A., we don’t want that kind of self-importance. We have real self-respect and honesty and humility. Have I found something much better and more satisfactory than drinking?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that my faith and God’s power can accomplish anything in human relationships. There is no limit to what these two things can do in this field. Only believe, and anything can happen. Saint Paul said, “I can do all things through Him who strengthened me.” All walls that divide you from other human beings can fall by your faith and God’s power. These are the two essentials. Everyone can be moved by these.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may try to strengthen my faith day by day. I pray that I may rely more and more on God’s power.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Rejecting Shame

Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional families.

Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.

Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn’t okay. Shame is a no-win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can’t change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.

What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.

Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves.

Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It’s okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It’s okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It’s okay to be human and cherish our humanness.

Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.

Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame’s trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it’s okay to be who I am.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Compassion is … a spirituality and a way of living and walking through life. It is the way we treat all there is in life – ourselves, our bodies, our imaginations and dreams, our neighbors, our enemies… Compassion is a spirituality as if creation mattered. It is treating all creation as holy and as divine… which is what it is.

—Matthew Fox

In our search for growth, serenity, and contentment, we can start at a very practical level. Simply treat ourselves, inside and out, and everything around us in a respectful and caring way. Many men have not learned how to do that. Some of us have learned to accept abuse and pain, or to be tough and abusive.

We can learn about being in a healthy relationship, about befriending ourselves and others and all of creation. With practice, we will learn more and more about having compassion. As we do, our self-centeredness and our self-pity will fall away.

Today, I will be compassionate toward each of the details of creation, and practice acceptance both within and outside myself.


Elder’s Meditation

“It’s very hard to do things in the right manner, but as long as we do things right, we are in turn with the Great Spirit.”

–Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

When we are right with the Great Spirit, we are right with all things. It is impossible to be out of harmony with anything or anybody when we are in harmony with the Great One. So, if during the day a problem crops up and someone makes us mad, the best thing we can do is talk to the Creator first, ask for His help, then continue our conversation with the other person. In this way, our emotional nature will keep aligned with our thoughts, and we will always stay right with the Great Spirit.

Great Spirit, I ask You to guide me on the Red Road today.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You feel a little more low-energy today with the Moon moving into your 12th House of Rest and Withdrawal. Reflective Mercury enters emotive Pisces, asking you to go with the flow and have faith in your own beliefs. You want to dissolve boundaries now and underplay differences. This is a good opportunity for discussing beliefs and viewpoints among friends. Although these exchanges of ideas can create tension, you still place a lot of value on healthy debates. Demonstrate your ability to empathize and you’ll be fine. You’re not the type to attribute bad motives to genuinely good people.

DR – February 2, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
February 2, 2020


Daily Reflection

RESCUED BY SURRENDERING

“Characteristic of the so-called typical alcoholic is a narcissistic egocentric core, dominated by feelings of omnipotence, intent on maintaining at all costs its inner integrity. . . . Inwardly the alcoholic brooks no control from man or God. He, the alcoholic, is and must be the master of his destiny. He will fight to the end to preserve that position.“

— A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 311

The great mystery is: “Why do some of us die alcoholic deaths, fighting to preserve the ‘independence’ of our ego, while others seem to sober up effortlessly in A.A.?” Help from a Higher Power, the gift of sobriety, came to me when an otherwise unexplained desire to stop drinking coincided with my willingness to accept the suggestions of the men and women of A.A. I had to surrender, for only by reaching out to God and my fellows could I be rescued.


Big Book Quote

“When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn’t.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

We got a kick out of the first few drinks, before we got stupefied by alcohol. For a while, the world seemed to look brighter. But how about the letdown, the terrible depression that comes the morning after? In A.A., we get a real kick: not a false feeling of exhilaration, but a real feeling of satisfaction with ourselves, self respect, and a feeling of friendliness toward the world. We got a sort of pleasure from drinking. For a while we thought we were happy. But it’s only an illusion. The hang over the next day is the opposite of plea sure. In A.A., am I getting real pleasure and serenity and peace?

Meditation for the Day

I will practice love, because lack of love will block the way. I will try to see good in all people, those I like and also those who fret me and go against the grain. They are all children of God. I will try to give love; otherwise, how can I dwell in God’s spirit whence nothing unloving can come? I will try to get along with all people, because the more love I give away, the more I will have.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may do all I can to love others, in spite of their many faults. I pray that as I love, so will I be loved.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Trusting Our Higher Power

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

—Step Three of Al-Anon

So much talk about a Higher Power, God, as we understand God. So much joy as we come to understand Him. Spirituality and spiritual growth are the foundations of change. Recovery from codependency is not a do-it-yourself task.

Is God a relentless taskmaster? A hardhearted, shaming wizard with tricks up the sleeve? Is God deaf? Uncaring? Haphazard? Unforgiving?

No.

A loving God, a caring God. That is the God of our recovery No more pain than is necessary for usefulness, healing, and cleansing. As much goodness and joy as our heart can hold, as soon as our heart is healed, open, and ready to receive God: approving, accepting, instantly forgiving.

God has planned little gifts along the way to brighten our day and sometimes big, delightful surprises perfectly timed, perfect for us.

A Master Artist, God will weave together all our joy, sadness and experience to create a portrait of our life with depth, beauty, sensitivity, color, humor, and feeling.

God as we understand Him: A loving God. The God of our recovery.

Today, I will open myself to the care of a loving God. Then, I will let God show me love.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

To be alive is power,Existing in itself,
Without a further function,
Omnipotence enough.

—Emily Dickinson

Being a person, a man, in this world is an amazing gift. A spiritual awakening promised by this program is open to us. But today, not all of us feel powerful and alive. We may feel weak, inadequate to our task, perplexed, or stymied. Is this a day in which we are filled with exuberance for the gift of life? Or is this a day when we’re feeling subdued by life’s burdens?

Perhaps we need to evaluate our perspective. Are we trying to control something or someone? Are we acting as if the world should be as we want rather than as it is? Have our individual wills exceeded their natural bounds and spoiled the simple joy of being “without a further function”?

May I find the pleasure and exuberance today that come with being alive. The simple power to be a person is “omnipotence enough.”


Elder’s Meditation

“Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing, and always come back again to where they were. The life of a man is a circle from childhood to childhood and so it is everything where power moves.”

–Black Elk (Hehaka sapa), OGLALA SIOUX

In these modern times it is difficult to understand why we should think circles and seasons. People and society are always moving, through distance, over yonder, going here and going there – hurry up, grow up, be successful, climb the ladder of success, etc. The Elders tell us to slow down, to be patient, pray and think circles. Circle thinking applies to relationships, business and every area of our lives. We need to teach our awareness to look for seasons and cycles.

My Creator, teach me the seasons of growth.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It’s magical to spend quality time with someone close to you now; your bond is empowered by intimacy, mutual support, and unwavering devotion. Beautiful, compassionate feelings are flowing, even in new and platonic partnerships. Interactions with others that introduce you to new terrain and broaden your perspective are vital now. In fact, you may find yourself especially attracted to original personalities, because you feel that they can give you a fresh take on life. You are especially sensitive to the company you keep, Cancer, so be sure to seek out upbeat optimists who lift your spirits.

DR – February 1, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
February 1, 2020


Daily Reflection

GOAL: SANITY

“. . . Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can’t say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 27

“Came to believe!” I gave lip service to my belief when I felt like it or when I thought it would look good. I didn’t really trust God. I didn’t believe He cared for me. I kept trying to change things I couldn’t change. Gradually, in disgust, I began to turn it all over, saying: “You’re so omnipotent, you take care of it.” He did. I began to receive answers to my deepest problems, sometimes at the most unusual times: driving to work, eating lunch, or when I was sound asleep. I realized that I hadn’t thought of those solutions—a Power greater than myself had given them to me. I came to believe.


Big Book Quote

“First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 62~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

When we think about having a drink, we’re thinking of the kick we get out of drinking, the pleasure, the escape from boredom, the feeling of self-importance, and the companionship of other drinkers. What we don’t think of is the letdown, the hang over, the remorse, the waste of money, and the facing of another day. In other words, when we think about that first drink, we’re thinking of all the assets of drinking and none of the liabilities. What has drinking really got that we haven’t got in A.A.? Do I believe that the liabilities of drinking outweigh the assets?

Meditation for the Day

I will start a new life each day. I will put the old mistakes away and start anew each day. God always offers me a fresh start. I will not be burdened or anxious. If God’s forgiveness were only for the righteous and those who had not sinned, where would be its need? I believe that God forgives us all of our sins; if we are honestly trying to live today the way He wants us to live. God forgives us much and we should be very grateful.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that my life may not be spoiled by worry and fear and selfishness. I pray that I may have a glad, thankful, and humble heart.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Step Two

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

—Step Two of Al-Anon

We come to believe in a better life through the powerful gift of other people – hearing them, seeing them, and watching the gift of recovery at work in their lives.

There is a Power greater than us. There is real hope now that things can and will be different and better for our life and us.

We are not in a “do it ourselves” program. We do not have to exert willpower to change. We do not have to force our recovery to happen. We do not have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps just so we believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves – one who will get the job done in our life. This Power will do for us what your greatest and most diligent efforts could not accomplish.

Our Higher Power will restore us to a sane and beneficial life. All we do is believe.

Look. Watch. See the people around you. See the healing they have found. Then discover your own faith, your own belief, your own healing.

Today, regardless of my circumstances, I will believe to the best of my ability that a Power greater than myself can and will restore me to a peaceful, sane way of living. Then I will relax and let Him do that.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive? The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

—Peter De Vries

Many of us, in entering recovery, are confronted with guilt about our roles as fathers. We can see so clearly with hindsight that we could have been better parents. Others of us recall the unfairness of our own parents and find it hard to forgive them.

This mixture of guilt and resentment is part of the package of recovery. If we remained the same and never learned anything new, we wouldn’t have to feel guilty about the past or face our need to let go of resentments. Our spiritual renewal requires that we forgive ourselves and accept the forgiveness of those around us. Even today our children are not helped by our guilt, but they will be helped – at any age – by our amended lives. And all generations are enriched when we are able to repair broken connections with our parents.

I can accept the increased consciousness that recovery brings without punishing myself for what I didn’t know.


Elder’s Meditation

“You can’t just sit down and talk about the truth. It doesn’t work that way. You have to live it and be part of it and you might get to know it.”

–Rolling Thunder, CHEROKEE

We all read books that have much information in them. Often we pick up on little sayings that we remember. Inside of us is the little owl, the owl of knowing. It talks to us – guiding us and nurturing us. Often when we get information, it’s hard to live by, but it’s easy to talk about. It’s living the Red Road that counts – Walk the Talk. If we really want freedom in our lives, if we really want to be happy, if we really want to have peace of mind, it’s the truth we must seek.

My Creator, help me in my search for the truth today.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You have a longing for good company today. Significant one-on-one relationships are spotlighted, along with groups that you associate with. Being a supportive friend or ally should be your first priority, so obey an impulse to check on people just to see how they’re doing. An emphasis on Earth energy now assists becoming more grounded. It’s easy to be productive when you feel safe and secure, but don’t forget to attend to your own needs, too. The more loving you are toward yourself, the more generous you can be with others.

Let My New Life Begin

As my new life begins, a new job and everything which goes along with it, I have periods of doubt (insecurity) and anxiety (fear). A new job is uncomfortable – new people, new rules, new responsibilities and many times just plain overwhelming. My arrested alcoholism wants to rattle its cage and try to escape – “We’ve been here before, you failed…” or the “what if’s” or “retail Michael, you’re better than this”. It all comes down to the fear of the unknown – a primal instinct in all of us when we get uncomfortable. I’ve learned through my journey of recovery its necessary to have a plan and stick to it, no matter what!

Yesterday was training day number one. Four hours later after listening to lingo, concepts, procedures and “how to do things” I left exhausted. My head was full of all this stuff I just didn’t understand. It was like the first couple of times I went to AA meetings. What the hell are all you guys and galls talking about? I can’t remember all this stuff in a day! I know this isn’t the case, I just have to relax. Those thoughts of, “Is this the right job? Am I going to be able to handle this?” all need to be squashed. Day one is behind me. On my way home, I was grateful for having a job in the first place. Suddenly all those thoughts causing fear and anxiety slowly went away.

If I use the “One Day At A Time” concept”, it makes a day simple. Seven or eights hours I’m sleeping. Due to my evening hours, I have to plan to attend evening meetings which typically start at 8pm. Waking up two hours before will be enough time to get my morning things done and get to the meeting. It takes one hour to walk back and forth to work. The shift is nine hours because of an hour lunch. Some quick math: 8 (sleep), 2 (morning), 1 (meeting), 2 (walking to/from work), 9 (work shift) = 22 hours. There are two hours I can use after work to decompress before I go to bed for my night. Seems I’m always on the go here or there. In reality, it’s a good thing.

I won’t lie to myself or others I still have a some fear left. Today, I choose not to let it balloon into something I can’t handle. I have confidence my Higher Power puts things in my path I can’t handle. Yes, I’m going to uncomfortable for a while but I will get through this – most importantly without a drink.

DR – January 31, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
January 31, 2020


Daily Reflection

OUR COMMON WELFARE COMES FIRST

The unity of Alcoholics Anonymous is the most cherished quality our Society has. . . . We stay whole, or A.A. dies.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 129

Our Traditions are key elements in the ego deflation process necessary to achieve and maintain sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous. The First Tradition reminds me not to take credit, or authority, for my recovery. Placing our common welfare first reminds me not to become a healer in this program; I am still one of the patients. Self-effacing elders built the ward. Without it, I doubt I would be alive. Without the group, few alcoholics would recover.

The active role in renewed surrender of will enables me to step aside from the need to dominate, the desire for recognition, both of which played so great a part in my active alcoholism. Deferring my personal desires for the greater good of group growth contributes toward A.A. unity that is central to all recovery. It helps me to remember that the whole is greater than the sum of all its parts.


Big Book Quote

“We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, Pg. 70~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Drinking cuts you off from God. No matter how you were brought up, no matter what your religion is, no matter if you say you believe in God, nevertheless you build up a wall between you and God by your drinking. You know you’re not living the way God wants you to. As a result, you have that terrible remorse. When you come into A.A., you begin to get right with other people and with God. A sober life is a happy life, because by giving up drinking, we’ve got rid of our loneliness and remorse. Do I have real fellowship with other people and with God?

Meditation for the Day

I believe that all sacrifice and all suffering are of value to me. When I am in pain, I am being tested. Can I trust God, no matter how low I feel? Can I say, “Thy will be done,” no matter how much I am defeated? If I can, my faith is real and practical. It works in bad times as well as in good times. The Divine Will is working in a way that is beyond my finite mind to understand, but I can still trust in it.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may take my suffering in my stride. I pray that I may accept pain and defeat as part of God’s plan for my spiritual growth.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Asking for What We Need

One evening, I was alone, weary, and exhausted. I was in the midst of extensive traveling, disconnected from friends and family. I had flown home for the evening, but it seemed like nobody noticed. People were used to me being gone.

It was late at night, and I began arguing with God.

“I’m out there working hard. I’m lonely. I need to know someone cares. You’ve told me to tell you what I need and tonight, God, I particularly need the presence of male energy. I need a friend, someone I can trust to care about me in a nonsexual, nonexploitive way. I need to be held. Now, where are you?”

I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. I was too tired to do anything but let go.

The telephone rang minutes later. It was a former colleague who had since become my friend. “Hey, kid,” he said. “You sound really tired and needy. Stay right where you are. I’m going to drive out and give you a foot rub. It sounds exactly like what you need.”

Half an hour later, he knocked on my door. He brought a small bottle of oil with him, and gently massaged my feet, gave me a hug, told me how much he cared about me, then left.

I smiled. I had received exactly what I asked for.

It is safe to trust God.

Today, I will remember God cares about what I need, especially if I do.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The body is the soul’s house. Shouldn’t we therefore take care of our house so that it doesn’t fall into ruin?

—Philo Judaeus

Some men think it is a mark of a strong man to abuse his body and pay no heed to his health. Have we done this through drug use or abuse of food? Have we misused our bodies by our sexual behavior? Have we neglected our physical condition or health because of addictions or obsessions with other people?

To end abusive cycles, we need to act in self-respecting ways – sometimes before we feel self-respecting. Recovery and spiritual awakening involve the body, mind, and spirit. We need nutrition, exercise, sleep, and health care. Treating ourselves as worthwhile men helps us feel worthwhile. Tuning in to how we feel physically may give us some direction. As we sense how we feel, do we get some physical messages to guide our recovery?

I will yield to the messages I get from myself so I can enjoy the physical pleasures of recovery and give my soul a better home.


Elder’s Meditation

“In sharing, in loving all and everything, one people naturally found a due portion of the thing they sought, while in fearing, the other found need of conquest.”

–Chief Luther Standing Bear, SIOUX

There are two systems of thought that are available for us to choose from. One is the love-thought system and the other is the fear- thought system. If we choose love, we will see the laws, principles and values of the Creator. If we choose fear, the results will be so paralyzing that it will cause us to take over and not rely on the Great Spirit. The fear-thought system will automatically cause attack, conflict, need to control over others. The love-thought system seeks peace of mind, unity and causes us to be love seekers.

Great Spirit, today let me see only love.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You are eager to break new ground at work today. This drive to succeed may be fueled by your desire for more abundance and prosperity in your life. At your best, you want to make a lasting positive impression on others. But, at your worst, you could self-indulgently use luxuries or creature comforts as substitutes now, instead of figuring out what your heart truly wants. Of course, no one can fill this emotional void but you. Rather than amassing newer items and wilder experiences to temporarily satisfy your appetite, learn to enjoy more with less. Take control of your happiness by creating the change you wish to see in your own world.

Changing Our Regularly Scheduled Program

A new schedule of working from 2200 (10:00 pm) to 0700 (07:00 am) will begin perhaps as soon as in a couple of days. A roommate is moving out this weekend. My to-do list is getting longer. Coordinating life can be an overwhelming, if I let it.

This typically happens in my life when something major happens in my life. Everything happens at once. There is never a smooth transition from one thing to another – that would be to easy. Instead, I feel everything has to be done at once. Call this person, call this person, do this, do that, don’t forget this or that. The question I need to ask, “Does it need to be done at all? Does it need to be done today? Does it need to be done right now? No. No. No. Now I find peace and serenity in the midst of chaos.

We all have to accept things in our life, especially those people close to us. We can’t change who they are nor what they do. There is no doubt my roommate will drink again; he’s said the only thing keeping from drinking is this program. He has done nothing but sit in his room all day, all night, for months on end, only leaving to venture to an appointment. Sometimes it is very difficult to show any empathy or pity. I just have to accept it for what it is.

Finally, after months of living on the couch, despite the displeasure of the authorities of this program, I hope to move into my own room. But even that isn’t set in stone. I have yet to have a clear acknowledgment from anyone I will be able to move into a single room even with my new schedule. Yet, I have been told in front of others, “I am pretty sure..there should be no reason you shouldn’t….(la la la)” I know better. I’ve learned not to trust anyone or anything until it happens.

Until everything it put in place and the dust settles there is really nothing I can do. Do I worry? Of course. I can only hope this weekend brings a needed change in my life for the better and everything works out.

DR – January 30, 2020

Daily Recovery Readings
January 30, 2020


Daily Reflection

FREEDOM FROM . . . FREEDOM TO

We are going to know a new freedom. . . .

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 83

Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to. The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from the slavery of alcohol. What a relief! Then I begin to experience freedom from fear—fear of people, of economic insecurity, of commitment, of failure, of rejection. Then I begin to enjoy freedom to—freedom to choose sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to express my opinion, to experience peace of mind, to love and be loved, and freedom to grow spiritually. But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a “new” freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free!


Big Book Quote

“Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 127~


24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

A drinking life isn’t a happy life. Drinking cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about drinking is the loneliness. And one of the best things about A.A. is the fellowship. Drinking cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your family, your co-workers, and your real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You’re cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you’re terribly lonely. Have I got rid of my loneliness?

Meditation for the Day

I will sometimes go aside into a quiet place of retreat with God. In that place, I will find restoration and healing and power. I will plan quiet times now and then, times when I will commune with God and arise rested and refreshed to carry on the work which God has given me to do. I know that God will never give me a load greater than I can bear. It is in serenity and peace that all true success lies.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may strengthen my inner life so that I may find serenity. I pray that my soul may be restored in quietness and peace.


The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Religious Freedom

“…a Power greater than ourselves….” “God as we understood Him.” These words introduce spirituality in the Twelve Steps. They are the first two references to God, and they are worded that way for a reason.

We each have the freedom to define, and understand, our Higher Power – God – as we choose.

That means we do not bring our religious affiliation into our recovery groups. It means that we do not try to impose our religious beliefs, or our understanding of God, on anyone else. We do not use our groups or meetings as a soapbox to gain religious converts. We do not try to force the particulars of our religious beliefs on others.

We give each person, the right to a personal understanding of a Higher Power and ourselves.

Today, I will respect other people’s understanding of God, as well as my own. I will not allow others’ judgment of my beliefs to cause me anxiety and distress. I will seek to grow spiritually in recovery, with or without the assistance of a particular religion or denomination.


Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it.”

—Archibald MacLeish

For many men, being addicts meant living double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home.

In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones.

Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me.


Elder’s Meditation

“Bright days and dark days were both expressions of the Great Mystery, and the Indian reveled in being close to the Great Holiness.”

–Chief Luther Standing Bear, SIOUX

The Great Spirit created a world of harmony, a world of justice, a world that is interconnected, a balanced world that has positive and negative, this way and that way, up and down, man and woman, boy and girl, honest and dishonest, responsible and irresponsible, day and night. In other words, He created a polarity system. Both sides are to be respected. Both sides or anything are sacred. We need to do good and we need to learn from our mistakes. We need to honor what takes place in the daytime and we need to honor what takes place in the nighttime. We learn that we need to learn and we see what we are supposed to see by staying close to the Great Spirit. We need to be talking to Him all the time, saying “Grandfather, what is it you want me to learn?”

Great Spirit, let me learn today that all things are sacred. Help me stay close to You, my Creator.


Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Find an anchor you can trust today. You’re likely in touch with your emotions, or anyone and anything that stirs them. However, the gale of your reactions may blow you toward hyperbole and over-sensitivity now. For instance, a minor insult might not just hurt your feelings, but feels like a crushing blow to your sense of identity. Your best course of action is to see your inner world more like a great sea that you can navigate but can’t stop from teeming with energy. You can’t change the wind, but you can choose your direction if you know how to set your sails.