Daily Recovery Readings
September 22, 2019

---

Daily Reflection

A “LIMITLESS LODE”

Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father feels he has struck something better than gold. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 128-29

When I talk with a newcomer to A.A., my past looks me straight in the face. I see the pain in those hopeful eyes, I extend my hand, and then the miracle happens: I become healed. My problems vanish as I reach out to this trembling soul.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

---

Big Book Quote

Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 96~

---

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Step Eight is, “Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” Step Nine is, “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” Making restitution for the wrongs we have done is often very difficult. It hurts our pride. But the rewards are great. When we go to a person and say we are sorry, the reaction we get is almost invariably good. It takes courage to make the plunge, but the results more than justify it. A load is off your chest and often an enemy has been turned into a friend. Have I done my best to make all the restitution possible?

Meditation for the Day

There should be joy in living the spiritual life. A faith without joy is not entirely genuine. If you are not happier as a result of your faith, there is probably something wrong with it. Faith in God should bring you a deep feeling of happiness and security, no matter what happens on the surface of your life. Each new day is another opportunity to serve God and improve your relationships with other people. This should bring joy. Life should be abundant and outreaching. It should be glowing and outgoing, in ever widening circles.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that my horizons may grow ever wider. I pray that I may keep reaching out for more service and companionship.

---

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Trusting Ourselves

Many of us believed that heeding the words of God or our Higher Power meant following rigid rules, an instruction booklet for life.

Many of us now believe differently. The rigid rules, the endless instructions, the exhortation to perfection, are not the words our Higher Power whispers.

The words of God are often those still, small words we call intuition or instinct, leading and guiding us forward.

We are free to be whom we are, to listen to and trust ourselves. We are free to listen to the gentle, loving words of a Higher Power, words whispered to and through each of us.

Today, help me, God; to let go of shame based rigid rules. I will choose the freedom of loving, listening, and trusting.

---

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Time never challenged the Indian or worked against him. Time was for silently marking the passing of the seasons. It was a thing to be enjoyed.

—Tim Giago

We have a choice as to how we view the passage of time. We can look at it as a gift to be enjoyed, marking the transitions and cycles of life. Or we can think of time as a long, thin string of pressures and frustrations – specific minutes and hours that we try to speed up or slow down. Our relationship to time is a very important part of our recovery.

We are learning to live in the present, one day at a time. We are letting go of the past. The future we place in trust to our Higher Power. Time doesn’t work against us or challenge us – it just flows. This day need not be painless or close to paradise for us to live in the present moment. Being aware of our lives without struggling against time makes the day rich and full of meaning.

Today, rather than wrestling with time, I will be aware of my experiences and let time flow.

---

Elder’s Meditation

“I think the spiritual values come first and everything else follows.”

–Leonard George, Chief Councilor

To properly develop, the human being needs to learn the guiding principles. It is from these principles that we make our decisions. Spiritual values are the guiding principles given to us by the Great Spirit. He says if we live by these spiritual values, the results we experience will be good. These spiritual values will develop and guide the human being by helping us to think right. Right thinking will improve our choices and decisions. Doing this will bring good consequences.

Great Spirit, teach me values first.

---

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Allow extra time to explain your emotional journey rather than jumping to any foregone conclusions today. The hypersensitive Cancer Moon foments a torrent of emotions that spins your thoughts about faster than you can bring them to heel. Inevitably, you’re likely to react harshly if someone touches a nerve that you might otherwise keep protected. Instead of making assumptions, listen closely and ask questions to fully understand a friend’s intentions rather than presuming you know what they mean. A rush to judgment now might prompt you to be the first to apologize later.

Daily Recovery Readings
September 21, 2019

---

Daily Reflection

THE LAST PROMISE

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The last Promise in the Big Book came true for me on the very first day of sobriety. God kept me sober that day, and on every other day I allowed Him to operate in my life. He gives me the strength, courage and guidance to meet my responsibilities in life so that I am then able to reach out and help others stay sober and grow. He manifests within me, making me a channel of His word, thought and deed. He works with my inner self, while I produce in the outer world, for He will not do for me what I can do for myself. I must be willing to do His work, so that He can function through me successfully.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

---

Big Book Quote

One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctors advice. He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue. He added that occasionally in the night a vague craving arose which would be satisfied by candy. Many of us have noticed a tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice beneficial.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 133~

---

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

A.A. Thought For The Day

Let us continue with Steps Four, Five, Six, Seven and Ten. In taking personal inventory of ourselves, we have to face facts as they really are. We have to stop running away. We must face reality. We must see ourselves as we really are. We must admit our faults openly and try to correct them. We must try to see where we have been dishonest, impure, selfish, and unloving. We do not do this once and forget it. We do it every day of our lives, as long as we live. We are never done with checking up on ourselves. Am I taking a daily inventory of myself?

Meditation For The Day

In improving our personal lives, we have Unseen help. We were not made so that we could see God. That would be too easy for us and there would be no merit in obeying Him. It takes an act of faith, a venture of belief, to realize the Unseen Power. Yet, we have much evidence of God’s existence in the strength that many people have received from the act of faith, the venture of belief. We are in a box of space and time and we can see neither our souls nor God. God and the human spirit are both outside the limitations of space and time. Yet our Unseen help is effective here and now. That has been proved in thousands of changed lives.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may make the great venture of belief.
I pray that my vision may not be blocked by intellectual pride.

---

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

The Good Feelings

Let yourself feel the good feelings too.

Yes, sometimes, good feelings can be as distracting as the painful, more difficult ones. Yes, good feelings can be anxiety producing to those of us unaccustomed to them. But go ahead and feel the good feelings anyway.

Feel and accept the joy. The love. The warmth. The excitement. The pleasure. The satisfaction. The elation. The tenderness. The comfort.

Let yourself feel the victory, the delight.

Let yourself feel respected, important, and special.

These are only feelings, but they feel good. They are full of positive, upbeat energy – and we deserve to feel that when it comes our way.

We don’t have to repress. We don’t have to talk ourselves out of feeling good – not for a moment.

If we feel it, it’s ours for the moment. Own it. If it’s good, enjoy it.

Today, God, help me be open to the joy and good feelings available to me.

---

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

He underwent a nine and a half hour operation. On the eighth day his wife picked him up from the hospital and said, “You want to go home?” to which he replied, “No, I want to go to the office.”

–Herb Goldberg

What is it that drives us men to such extremes in our work? Are we afraid of the intimacy we could develop with those who love us and whom we love? Are we driven to prove over and over that some old painful self-doubt is untrue? Is this how we feel masculine? Or are we trying to control our addictive problems by constant work? Perhaps we still have more to learn about surrender and powerlessness.

It is especially common to recovering men that the excesses of work unconsciously replace the excesses of addiction and codependency. This too is an unhealthy escape. We must confront our relationship to work if we are to continue on our path of spiritual awakening. It is good to have some unplanned, unstructured time in each day.

Today, help me remember that being good at my work is only one of my qualities.

---

Elder’s Meditation

“…everything is laid out for you. Your path is straight ahead of you. Sometimes it’s invisible but it’s there. You may not know where it’s going, but still you have to follow that path. It’s the path to the Creator. That’s the only path there is.”

–Leon Shenandoah, ONONDAGA

Everything on the earth has a purpose and a reason for its existence. Every human being is a warrior and every warrior has a song written in his/her heart and that song must be sung or the soul forever remains restless. This song is always about serving the Great Spirit and helping the people. This song is always sung for the people. Many times I need to learn much about the difficulties of life. I need to know this, so I must experience it. Then I can be of use to the people. Because I am experiencing difficulty does not mean I have left the path or that I have done something wrong. It means I’m doing the will of the Great Spirit during these times of testing. I need to pray constantly to keep a good attitude.

Great Spirit, this I know – You will never leave me, only my doubting makes it seem like You do. This I know – Your love is always dependable, only my doubting makes it seem like You do. Today remove the doubts from my belief system and allow me to stand straight and see You with straight eyes.

---

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Tread gently with your words since you could be your most savage critic today. It’s one thing to subject yourself to scrutiny and rigorous self-evaluation. But it’s a whole other ball of wax to be unkind to yourself and your capabilities. Prickly Mars in Virgo prods you toward making significant improvements with your life. But often the most longstanding changes are incremental and require many adjustments until you strike the right rhythm. Inventor Buckminster Fuller wrote, “There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 20, 2019

---

Daily Reflection

H.P. AS GUIDE

See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164

Having a right relationship with God seemed to be an impossible order. My chaotic past had left me filled with guilt and remorse and I wondered how this “God business” could work. A.A. told me that I must turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him. With nowhere else to turn, I went down on my knees and cried, “God, I can’t do this. Please help me!” It was when I admitted my powerlessness that a glimmer of light began to touch my soul, and then a willingness emerged to let God control my life. With Him as my guide, great events began to happen, and I found the beginning of sobriety.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

---

Big Book Quote

In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead or casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 37~

---

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Step Four is, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Step Five is, “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our, wrongs.” Step Six is, “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” Step Seven is, “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.” Step Ten is, “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.” In taking a personal inventory, we have to be absolutely honest with ourselves and with other people. Have I taken an honest inventory of myself?

Meditation for the Day

God is good. You can often tell whether or not a thing is of God. If it is of God, it must be good. Honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love are all good, unselfish helpfulness is good, and these things all lead to the abundant life. Leave in God’s hands the present and the future, knowing only that He is good. The hand that veils the future is the hand of God. He can bring order out of chaos, good out of evil, and peace out of turmoil. We can believe that everything really good comes from God and that He shares His goodness with us.

Prayer of the Day

I pray that I may reach out for the good. I pray that I may try to choose the best in life.

---

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Spontaneity

In recovery, we’re learning to let ourselves go! We’re learning to be spontaneous.

Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect; be strong; don’t have fun; and always be in control.

We may associate spontaneity with acting out in an addictive, compulsive, self destructive, or irresponsible manner.

That’s not what we’re talking about in recovery. Positive spontaneity involves freely expressing who we are – in a way that is fun, healthy, doesn’t hurt us, and doesn’t infringe on the right of others.

We learn to be spontaneous and free as we grow in self-awareness and self esteem. Spontaneity emerges as our confidence and trust in ourselves increase, and we become more secure in our ability to maintain healthy boundaries.

Being spontaneous is connected to our ability to play and achieve intimacy. For all those desirable acts, we need to be able to let go of our need to control others and ourselves and fully and freely enter into the present moment.

Let go of your tight rein on yourself. So what if you make a mistake? So what if you’re wrong? Relish your imperfections. Let yourself be a little needy, a little vulnerable. Take a risk!

We can be spontaneous without hurting ourselves, or others. In fact, everyone will benefit by our spontaneity.

Today, I will throw out the rule book and enjoy being who I am. I will have some fun with the gift of life, others, and myself.

---

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Sexuality expresses God’s intention that people find authentic humanness not in isolation but in relationship.

—James B. Nelson

We men have regarded our sex lives and our spiritual lives as two different worlds. This attitude has caused many crises – anger and frustration with our partners, power struggles, accusations and hurt feelings, shame and guilt about our own behavior.

We can join our spirituality with our sexual selves by taking responsibility for being sexual. Being responsible means we take the risk of being vulnerable, of giving and receiving affection and sexual expression in our relationships. We cannot expect satisfaction of our desires simply because we feel them. In sexuality, as in all parts of our lives, our Higher Power is our guide. We can also say no to sexual expression if we wish.

God guide my sexual awareness today. Open me to experience sexuality as a creative gift for relationships.

---

Elder’s Meditation

“You will only get back what you give out.”

–Joe Coyhis, STOCKBRIDGE-MUNSEE

The Great Spirit created a system of balance and justice. This law says, if you treat others with respect, you will be treated with respect. If you gossip about no one, no one will gossip about you. If you are fair in all of your dealings, you can expect the same. If you share with others, others will share with you. If you judge others, others will judge you. You will always get back what you give out. The original teaching talks about being a giving person. A giving person will constantly be on the receiving end.

My Creator, help me to be a giving person today.

---

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Introspective time alone allows you to gain a healthier perspective on a relationship. If recent attempts at settling unresolved feelings fell short of your expectations, you may unexpectedly discover a way to improve the situation today. Or, at least, you might better understand the other person’s feelings. Once you quietly ponder your current circumstances, you could benefit from writing down your thoughts or talking them over with an objective bystander who is willing to tell you the unvarnished truth. Psychologist Carl Jung wrote, “Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 19, 2019

---

Daily Reflection

ACCEPTANCE

We admitted we couldn’t lick alcohol with our own remaining resources, and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a Higher Power (if only our A.A. group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to accept these facts fully, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun.

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 109

Freedom came to me only with my acceptance that I could turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power, whom I call God. Serenity seeped into the chaos of my life when I accepted that what I was going through was life, and that God would help me through my difficulties – and much more, as well. Since then He has helped me through all of my difficulties! When I accept situations as they are, not as I wish them to be, then I can begin to grow and have serenity and peace of mind.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

---

Big Book Quote

“When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in Gods hands were better than anything we could have planned.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others pg. 100~

---

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Let us continue with Steps Two, Three and Eleven. We must turn to a Higher Power for help, because we are helpless ourselves. When we put our drink problem in God’s hands and leave it there, we have made the most important decision of our lives. From then on, we trust God for the strength to keep sober. This takes us off the center of the universe and allows us to transfer our problems to a Power outside ourselves. By prayer and meditation, we seek to improve our conscious contact with God. We try to live each day the way we believe God wants us to live. Am I trusting God for the strength to stay sober?

Meditation for the Day

“These things have I spoken unto you, that your joy may be full.” Even a partial realization of the spiritual life brings much joy. You feel at home in the world when you are in touch with the Divine Spirit of the universe. Spiritual experience brings a definite satisfaction. Search for the real meaning of life by following spiritual laws. God wants you to have spiritual success and He intends that you have it. If you live your life as much as possible according to spiritual laws, you can expect your share of joy and peace, satisfaction and success.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I will find happiness in doing the right thing. I pray that I will find satisfaction in obeying spiritual laws.

---

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Apologies

Sometimes, we act in a manner with which we are less than comfortable. That’s human. That’s why we have the words: “I’m sorry.” They heal and bridge the gap. But we don’t have to say, “I’m sorry” if we didn’t do anything wrong. A sense of shame can keep us apologizing for everything we do, every word we say, for being alive and being who we are.

We don’t have to apologize for taking care of ourselves, dealing with feelings, seeking boundaries, having fun, or getting healthy.

We never have to change our course, if it is in our best interest, but sometimes a general apology acknowledges other feelings and can be useful when the issues of a circumstance or relationship are not clear. We might say: “I’m sorry for the fuss we had. I’m sorry if what I needed to do to take care of myself hurt you; it was not intended that way.”

Once we make an apology, we don’t have to keep repeating it. If someone wants to keep on extricating an apology from us for the same incident, that is the person’s issue, and we don’t have to get hooked.

We can learn to take our apologies seriously and not hand them out when they’re not valid. When we feel good about ourselves, we know when it’s time to say we’re sorry and when it’s not.

Today, I will try to be clear and healthy in my apologies, taking responsibility for my actions and nobody else’s. God, help me figure out what I need to apologize for and what is not my responsibility.

---

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Who’s not sat tense before his own heart’s curtain?

—Rainer Maria Rilke

Meeting our Higher Power and ourselves is the universal spiritual process. Sitting before the curtain of our hearts may feel as awesome to us or as frightening as anything we will ever do. When we first admit to ourselves a deeper truth, we feel these overpowering tensions. For some of us, this is a necessary step, which leads to self-knowledge and inner peace. We feel unique, different, alone, and maybe even crazy. For the first time, we are listening to our inner truth rather than outside messages.

Let’s think for a moment about today’s tensions and strains. Are we really aware of their source? Perhaps they are created by the disturbing honesty of our hearts? We may find our spiritual growth in yielding to the truth. When we are cynical about spiritual experience or when we minimize the importance of our soft-spoken inner wisdom, we are avoiding the truth from our hearts. And we miss the possibility of becoming strong from within.

Today, I will live through the tension and fear of my honesty to reach the point of peace with myself.

---

Elder’s Meditation

“I am building myself. There are many roots. I plant, I pick, I prune. I consume.”

–Wendy Rose, HOPI/MIWOK

The most sacred thing on this Mother Earth is life. My life on this earth is governed by God’s laws, principles, and spiritual values. These things are my roots. Let me see Your gifts of growing and becoming a spiritual warrior. Make my strength based on values – spiritual values; on principles and laws, the laws of God that really run the universe. We need to realize the seeds we plant in the spring will be what shows up in our summer season of growth and will be the fruits that we will harvest in our fall season. We really have a lot to do with what shows up in our lives.

Great Spirit, let my seed that I plant today be based on values that will make You pleased with my selection.

---

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your friends and coworkers are moved by your honesty and sincerity today, enabling you to be very persuasive and compelling. Those closest to you understand that you’re willing to do whatever is in your power to support them. However, when someone isn’t connecting with your message, stop trying to convince them your plan is the best one. You might appear manipulative and overly controlling if you push too hard. Ironically, your peers may follow your example if you’re willing to give them enough space to step forward on their own volition. Simon Sinek wrote, “A boss has the title, a leader has the people.”

Daily Recovery Readings
September 18, 2019

---

Daily Reflection

LOVED BACK TO RECOVERY

Our whole treasured philosophy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with old-fashioned willpower; it was instead a matter of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we were free.

— BEST OF THE GRAPEVINE, Vol. I, p. 198

I can be free of my old enslaving self. After a while I recognize, and believe in, the good within myself. I see that I have been loved back to recovery by my Higher Power, who envelops me. My Higher Power becomes that source of love and strength that is performing a continuing miracle in me. I am sober . . . and I am grateful.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

---

Big Book Quote

“…we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all-every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 76~

---

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Step Two is, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” Step Three is, “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” Step Eleven is, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” The fundamental basis of A.A. is a belief in some Power greater than ourselves. Let us not take this lightly. We cannot fully get the program without this venture of belief. Have I made the venture of belief in a Power greater than my own?

Meditation for the Day

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Dwell for a moment each day in a secret place, the place of communion with God, apart from the world, and thence receive strength to face the world. Material things cannot intrude upon this secret place, they cannot ever find it, because it is outside the realm of material things. When you abide in this secret place, you are under the shadow of the Almighty. God is close to you in this quiet place of communion. Each day, dwell for a while in this secret place.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may renew my strength in quiet.

---

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting the Good Stuff Happen

Before recovery, my relationships were lousy. I didn’t do very well on my job. I was enmeshed in my dysfunctional family. But at least I knew what to expect!

—Anonymous

I want the second half of my life to be as good as the first half was miserable. Sometimes, I’m afraid it won’t be. Sometimes, I’m frightened it might be.

The good stuff can scare us. Change, even good change, can be frightening. In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard times.

The past, particularly before recovery, may have become comfortably familiar. We knew what to expect in our relationships. They were predictable. They were repeats of the same pattern – the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again. They may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.

This is not so when we change patterns and begins recovering.

We may have been fairly good at predicting events in most areas of our life. Relationships would be painful. We’d be deprived.

Each year would be almost a repeat of the last. Sometimes it got a little worse, sometimes a little better, but the change wasn’t drastic. Not until the moment when we began recovery.

Then things changed. And the further we progress in this miraculous program, the more we and or circumstances change. We begin to explore uncharted territory.

Things get good. They do get better all the time. We begin to become successful in love, in work, in life. One day at a time, the good stuff begins to happen and the misery dissipates.

We no longer want to be a victim of life. We’ve learned to avoid unnecessary crisis and trauma.

Life gets good.

“How do I handle the good stuff?” asked one woman. It’s harder and more foreign than the pain and tragedy.”

“The same way we handled the difficult and the painful experiences,” I replied. “One day at a time.”

Today, God, help me let go of my need to be in pain and crisis. Help me move as swiftly as possible through sad feelings and problems. Help me find my base and balance in peace, joy, and gratitude. Help me work as hard at accepting what’s good, as I have worked in the past at accepting the painful and the difficult.

---

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life.

—Paul Tillich

We are men who know the consequences of alcoholism, codependency, and addiction. We have walked dark valleys. We have felt meaningless and empty in our lives. Each of us has a story. The harder we worked to overcome those feelings by our individual efforts, the worse the feelings got. This program suggested we try something radically new – something we couldn’t think up on our own.

Grace is the love and generosity of God, which comes through no effort of our own. Not until we felt defeated would we open ourselves to this gift of help from our Higher Power. Grace comes in many forms. It is in the hope we feel in the morning after a night of rest, and it’s in the good feeling we get attending our meetings. Before this program, most of us were trying so hard to control our lives we couldn’t notice any gifts that came from outside our efforts. These Twelve Steps train us for becoming receptive to the healing grace of God.

The grace of God surrounds me – even in difficult times. Returning to that message renews my strength.

---

Elder’s Meditation

“I walk in and out of many worlds.”

–Joy Harjo, CREEK/CHEROKEE

In my mind are many dwellings. Each of the dwellings we create ourselves – the house of anger, the house of despair, the house of self pity, the house of indifference, the house of negative, the house of positive, the house of hope, the house of joy, the house of peace, the house of enthusiasm, the house of cooperation, the house of giving. Each of these houses we visit each day. We can stay in any house for as long as we want. We can leave these mental houses any time we wish. We create the dwelling, we stay in the dwelling, we leave the dwelling whenever we wish. We can create new rooms, new houses. Whenever we enter these dwellings, this becomes our world until we leave for another. What world will we live in today?

Creator, no one can determine which dwelling I choose to enter. No one has the power to do so, only me. Let me choose wisely today.

---

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Setting limits is required when those around you test your boundaries. You can’t fault anyone for trying to cross the line when people are often too hooked into their own needs to think about yours. Be clear about your priorities; you only have yourself to blame if you’re not pushing back when things grow out of hand. You can thank strict Saturn for turning direct in your 7th House of Companions today, shining a light on where you must assert your edges. Otherwise, you could run yourself ragged placating others with little time left over to pursue your dreams. Claim your power and stand your ground.

Daily Recovery Readings
September 17, 2019

---

Daily Reflection

FREEDOM FROM FEAR

When, with God’s help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who still suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too. We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 122

Material values ruled my life for many years during my active alcoholism. I believed that all of my possessions would make me happy, yet I still felt bankrupt after I obtained them. When I first came into A.A., I found out about a new way of living. As a result of learning to trust others, I began to believe in a power greater than myself. Having faith freed me from the bondage of self. As material gains were replaced by the gifts of the spirit, my life became manageable. I then chose to share my experiences with other alcoholics.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

---

Big Book Quote

“Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 102~

---

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Step One is, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.” This step states the membership requirement of A.A. We must admit that our lives are disturbed. We must accept the fact that we are helpless before the power of alcohol. We must admit that we are licked as far as drinking is concerned and that we need help. We must be willing to accept the bitter fact that we cannot drink like normal people. And we must make, as gracefully as possible, surrender to the inevitable fact that we must stop drinking. Is it difficult for me to admit that I am different from normal drinkers?

Meditation for the Day

“Show us the way, O Lord, and let us walk in Thy paths.” There seems to be a right way to live and a wrong way. You can make a practical test. When you live the right way, things seem to work out well for you. When you live the wrong way, things seem to work out badly for you. You seem to take out of life about what you put into it. If you disobey the laws of nature, the chances are that you will be unhealthy. If you disobey the spiritual and moral laws, the chances are that you will be unhappy. By following the laws of nature and the spiritual laws of honesty, purity, unselfishness, and love, you can expect to be reasonably healthy and happy.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may try to live the right way. I pray that I may follow the path that leads to a better life.

---

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

New Relationship Behaviors

We talk much about new relationship behaviors in recovery: allowing others to be themselves without over reacting and taking it personally, and owning our power to take care of ourselves. We talk about letting go of our need to control, focusing on self-responsibility, and not setting ourselves up to be victims by focusing on the other person while neglecting ourselves. We talk about having and setting healthy boundaries, talking directly, and taking responsibility for what we want and need.

While these behaviors certainly help us deal with addicted people, these are not behaviors intended only for use in what we call “dysfunctional relationships.”

These behaviors are our new relationship behaviors. They help us in stressful relationships. They can help us get through times of stress in healthy relationships.

The recovery behaviors we are learning are tools – healthy relationship skills – that help us improve the quality of all our relationships.

Recovery means self-care – learning to take care of ourselves and love ourselves – with people. The healthier we become, the healthier our relationships will become. And we’ll never outgrow our need for healthy behaviors.

.Today, I will remember to apply my recovery behaviors in all my relationships – with friends and co-workers, as well as in any special love relationship. I will work hard at taking care of myself in the troublesome relationships, figuring out which skill might best apply. I will also consider ways that my healthy relationships might benefit from my new relationship skills.

---

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting.

—William Shakespeare

An important part of our lives is simply tending to our basic needs – sitting down daily to share a meal with loved ones, getting enough sleep, setting time aside for haircuts and polishing shoes, spending leisure time with friends. Paying attention to these things only when they become crises makes our lives unbalanced and crisis oriented. Many men have neglected themselves because they felt it was the mark of a tough guy. Others have been so lost in an addiction or so codependent that a respectful self-caring life was not possible.

As we regain our sanity, we find balance in the basics. Self-love allows us to be responsible for our care, and it puts us in a stronger position to help others, to be creative, and to assert our right to recovery.

Today, I will look after the essentials of my personal care and my family’s care before I take on other things.

---

Elder’s Meditation

“The old people must start talking and the young people must start listening.”

–Thomas Banyacya, HOPI

We are at a critical time in transferring cultural knowledge and spiritual ways. During the last few years the young people have not been interested in learning the old ways. The only place this knowledge is found is among the Elders. We must encourage the young to visit with the Elders. The adults need to think also about learning the culture. The Elders are getting old and soon will go to the other side. Each of us must pause and think about our individual responsibility to learn the culture and teach this to our young.

Great Spirit, help us to learn and remember the old ways.

---

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Mending a small tear in a friendship today prevents a bigger tear tomorrow. Some of your close pals might feel like family, so conflicts with them can be deeply troubling. Acting swiftly to address a rift not only puts your mind at ease, but lets your friend know how much you value your connection. Stick to talking about your own feelings rather than blaming anyone else for failing to meet your expectations. The more you’re willing to share and listen, the faster you both can heal. Honest communication enables a relationship to endure through its ups and downs.

Daily Recovery Readings
September 16, 2019

---

Daily Reflection

WE STAND—OR FALL—TOGETHER

“. . . no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity. We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 561

Just as the Twelve Steps of A.A. are written in a specific sequence for a reason, so it is with the Twelve Traditions. The First Step and the First Tradition attempt to instill in me enough humility to allow me a chance at survival. Together they are the basic foundation upon which the Steps and Traditions that follow are built. It is a process of ego deflation which allows me to grow as an individual through the Steps, and as a contributing member of a group through the Traditions. Full acceptance of the First Tradition allows me to set aside personal ambitions, fears and anger when they are in conflict with the common good, thus permitting me to work with others for our mutual survival. Without Tradition One I stand little chance of maintaining the unity required to work with others effectively, and I also stand to lose the remaining Traditions, the Fellowship, and my life.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

---

Big Book Quote

“If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago.. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasnt there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient, they failed utterly.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 44~

---

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

Today, let us begin a short study of The Twelve Suggested Steps of A.A. These Twelve Suggested Steps seem to embody five principles. The first step is the membership requirement step. The second, third, and eleventh steps are the spiritual steps of the program. The fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and tenth steps are the personal inventory steps. The eighth and ninth steps are the restitution steps. The twelfth step is the passing on of the program, or helping others, step. So the five principles are membership requirement, spiritual basis, personal inventory, restitution, and helping others. Have I made all these steps a part of me?

Meditation for the Day

We seem to live not only in time but also in eternity. If we abide with God and He abides with us, we may bring forth spiritual fruit, which will last for eternity. If we live with God, our lives can flow as some calm river through the dry land of earth. It can cause the trees and flowers of the spiritual life – love and service – to spring forth and yield abundantly. Spiritual work may be done for eternity, not just for now. Even here on earth we can live as though our real lives were eternal.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may try to make my life like a cool river in a thirsty land. I pray that I may give freely to all who ask my help.

---

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Revenge

No matter how long we’ve been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person.

We want revenge.

We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rewards. In fact, we would like to help life out.

Those are normal feelings, but we do not have to act on them. These feelings are part of our anger but it’s not our job to deal justice.

We can allow ourselves to feel the anger. It is helpful to go one step deeper and let ourselves feel the other feelings – the hurt, the pain, the anguish. But our goal is to release the feelings, and be finished with them.

We can hold the other person accountable. We can hold the other person responsible. But it is not our responsibility to be judge and jury. Actively seeking revenge will not help us. It will block us and hold us back.

Walk away. Stop playing the game. Unhook. Learn your lesson. Thank the other person for having taught you something valuable. And be finished with it. Put it behind, with the lesson intact.

Acceptance helps. So does forgiveness – not the kind that invites that person to use us again, but a forgiveness that releases the other person and sets him or her free to walk a separate path, while releasing our anger and resentments. That sets us free to walk our own path.

Today, I will be as angry as I need to be, with a goal of finishing my business with others. Once I have released my hurt and anger, I will strive for healthy forgiveness – forgiveness with boundaries. I understand that boundaries, coupled with forgiveness and compassion, will move me forward.

---

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Sit loosely in the saddle of life.

—Robert Louis Stevenson

Sitting loosely in the saddle is an image of detachment for us. Detachment doesn’t mean we stop caring. It means we have an inner wisdom telling us what we can control and what we cannot. When we go to meetings and hear fellow members struggling with temptations to return to old behaviors, we need to detach. When family members or friends are engaged in an addiction, we need to sit loosely in the saddle by caring, but not protecting them from the results of their behavior. Sometimes close friends will be “off base” in the way they talk to us. We practice detachment by not being reactive to the person but being responsive to the inner message of what kind of men we wish to be.

We can’t control another person’s behavior toward us. Our inner security will never come from how someone else behaves. The most helpful thing we can do for someone is to listen and care; then we need to be ready to let go of the outcome.

I will accept the limits of my control over others. I will care and let go.

---

Elder’s Meditation

To me, the wisdom the Elders have to manifest is in teaching people how to live in harmony and balance with each other and the Earth.”

–Sun Bear, CHIPPEWA

You cannot give away what you don’t have. You need to give away what you have in order to keep it. Our Elders have lived their lives with a lot of trial and error. They have experienced how to do things well and they have experienced what didn’t work for them as they grew old. They know things about living that we don’t know. So, through the years the Elders have gained wisdom. They usually have a whole different point of view because of all their experiences. There are two ways to learn. Someone tells us what they did and we do the same thing or someone tells us what they did and we choose not to do it. Both of these paths will help us to live.

My Creator, teach me about choices and decisions and consequences. Put an Elder in my life to guide me.

---

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Greet everyone you encounter without judgment. However, someone new in your life might remind you of another individual who once hurt or disappointed you. But you’re likely a very different person with altered circumstances now. Nevertheless, you can accept the help you need if you are willing to change your mind, especially with respect to your profession. A closed fist must open up to receive gifts, and your heart will benefit from the same practice. Be unguarded and claim the support you deserve. Natural mystic Bob Marley wrote, “Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure.”