Daily Practice of Spiritual Principles

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

I did anything for my alcohol or other addiction(s). Today, I do everything for my recovery. At the beginning of my recovery, I didn’t want anything to do with it; a magic pill to make the pain and suffering all stop and go away was fine with me. Instead, a program of recovery was provided to me. All I had to do was “practice the principles in all my affairs”; I had to develop a daily practice.

What we have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85

When I wake up in the morning my mind is racing with thoughts. First thing I do – grab the coffee. Second – put the headphones with some soothing, relaxing, meditative music on. Third – I meditate.

The first technique I ever learned for meditation is simple. Slow down your breathing – count backward from five to one, repeat if necessary. Imagine yourself in a movie theater with a big blank white screen in front of you. Watch those thoughts race across the screen in front of you. Don’t stop them; just let them go. At some point, the screen will slow down and stop. This may be a minute to as long as five or ten minutes and you will feel relaxed. It takes practice and patience. Just let things happen. Personally, if I get stressed during the day and I feel overwhelmed, I take a walk and use this meditation while walking. It works!

Many people in meetings mentioned reading things in the morning – the Daily Reflection, a passage from the Bible, a reading from this or that. It took me many years before I developed my own “Daily Readings” in the morning. Why? What do they do? The Daily Reflection is a book of passages relating each month to one of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (i.e. January – Step 1, February – Step 2, etc.) The Black Book or “Though of the Day” is another passage, a “suggested” meditation, and prayer. Then I have several other readings I post. All these readings provide me something to think about in my recovery during the day. It sets my mood for the coming day.

It was told to me, “Meeting makers make it”, a common slogan in recovery. I only have to look at my own experience to believe this is true. I had ten years of recovery when I was attending meetings regularly. When I stopped going to meetings, I relapsed. Now I attend one, if not two or three, meetings a day. Meetings provide me a place where people understand who I am, what I’m dealing with, and have “suggestions” if I listen, or I share my experiences, strength, and hope of how my recovery works in my life.

Throughout the day, I tend to take a short inventory. Did what just happen “practicing these principles in all my affairs”? If not, what’s going on? Do I need to take a walk and meditate? Do I need to apologize for my behavior because I hurt someone directly or indirectly? What do I need to do differently next time? Is there a lesson to be learned?

By the time I go to bed, on most days, I feel relaxed and satisfied I’ve done the things I needed to do to stay sober. But I also recognize some days I’m not perfect. This program of recovery is something I have to live to the best of my ability. Bill Wilson and others wrote this in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its suc­cessful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 25

As long as I am willing to use these spiritual tools in my daily spiritual practice, I will stay sober. If I follow the instructions shown to me in their program of recovery called the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I will stay sober. Every day I stay sober is a miracle because I’m “honest, open-minded and willing” to “practice all these principles in all my affairs.”

DR – December 4, 2019

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
December 4, 2019

Daily Reflection

INTO ACTION

“A.A. is more than a set of principles; it is a society of alcoholics in action. We must carry the message, else we ourselves can wither and those who haven’t been given the truth may die.”

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 13

I desperately wanted to live, but if I was to succeed, I had to become active in our God-given program. I joined what became my group, where I opened the hall, made coffee, and cleaned up. I had been sober about three months when an oldtimer told me I was doing Twelfth-Step work. What a satisfying realization that was! I felt I was really accomplishing something. God had given me a second chance, A.A. had shown me the way, and these gifts were not only free—they were also priceless! Now the joy of seeing newcomers grow reminds me of where I have come from, where I am now, and the limitless possibilities that lie ahead. I need to attend meetings because they recharge my batteries so that I have light when it’s needed. I’m still a beginner in service work, but already I am receiving more than I’m giving. I can’t keep it unless I give it away. I am responsible when another reaches out for help. I want to be there—sober.

Big Book Quote

“On the other hand, strange as this may seem to those who do not understand, once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Doctors Opinion, pg. xxix~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

If we allow an alcoholic thought to lodge in our minds for any length of time, we are in danger of having a slip. Therefore we must dispel such thoughts at once, by refusing their admittance and by immediately putting constructive thoughts in their place. Remember that alcohol is poison to you. Remember that it is impossible for you to drink normally. Remember that one drink will lead to others and you will eventually be drunk. Remember what happened to you in the past as a result of your drinking. Think of every reason you have learned in A.A. for not taking that drink. Fill your mind with constructive thoughts. Am I keeping my thoughts constructive?

Meditation for the Day

Always seek to set aside the valuations of the world, which seem wrong and try to judge only by those valuations, which seem right to you. Do not seek the praise and notice of the world. Be one of those who, though sometimes scoffed at, have a serenity and peace of mind, which the scoffers never know. Be one of that bands that feel the Divine Principle in the universe, though He be often rejected because He cannot be seen.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not heed too much the judgment of the world. I pray that I may test things by what seems right to me.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

“How much do we need to let go of?” a friend asked one day.

“I’m not certain,” I replied, “but maybe everything.”

Letting go is a spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical process, a sometimes mysterious metaphysical process of releasing to God and the Universe that which we are clinging to so tightly.

We let go of our grasp on people, outcomes, ideas, feelings, wants, needs, desires – everything. We let go of trying to control our progress in recovery. Yes, it’s important to acknowledge and accept what we want and what we want to happen. But it’s equally important to follow through by letting go.

Letting go is the action part of faith. It is a behavior that gives God and the Universe permission to send us what we’re meant to have.

Letting go means we acknowledge that hanging on so tightly isn’t helping to solve the problem, change the person, or get the outcome we desire. It isn’t helping us. In fact, we learn that hanging on often blocks us from getting what we want and need.

Who are we to say that things aren’t happening exactly as they need to happen?

There is magic in letting go. Sometimes we get what we want soon after we let go. Sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes the specific outcome we desire doesn’t happen. Something better does.

Letting go sets us free and connects us to our Source.

Letting go creates the optimum environment for the best possible outcomes and solutions.

Today, I will relax. I will let go of that which is upsetting me the most. I will trust that by letting go, I have started the wheels in motion for things to work out in the best possible way.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“He doesn’t talk to me,” says a woman. “I don’t know what she wants me to talk about,” says a man.

—Lillian B. Rubin

We have often heard that it’s better to be men of deeds, not words. In our relationships with other males, we have learned to do things together, work together, or play a sport together. But in our relationships with women, we often see the other side of this coin. If we haven’t learned to express our thoughts and feelings, the women in our lives may request or demand that we learn now. There is nothing wrong with our not yet having this skill, and there is nothing wrong with women longing to talk with us.

A close relationship promotes talking, and revealing thoughts and feelings. Words, when we are honest, are ways of becoming clearer and being more personal. We have the right to stumble around with our words. We also have the right to feel unsure of ourselves or frightened of saying what we feel. That kind of fear is the excitement of being close to someone we love.

Today, I will express my feelings and ideas so others can know me better.

Elder’s Meditation

“In the end I tell my children, there’s no way I can tell you how to be an Acoma, how to be an Indian. You have to experience it.”

–Stanley Paytiamo, ACOMA PUEBLO

Each person must make their own journey. It is like every human is given a life canoe. The canoe has one seat and one paddle. In order to get anything out of life we must be in the canoe and we must paddle down the river of life. Now, I can share with you how my journey has been, but I cannot paddle your canoe. You must paddle your own. Good luck!

Creator, I’m so glad I have You to guide my path.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You can achieve nearly anything you set your mind to if you’re willing to venture into unknown territory. Others might caution you not to take a risk but the cosmos is encouraging you to explore mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and even geographically. Inform your well-intended supporters that you appreciate their concern, but you have things to do and places to see. Solidifying boundaries requires extra effort, but it’s essential now. Once people know your intentions, they may change stories and become the inspiration that lifts your wings. The biggest mistake you could ever make is being too afraid to make one.

Carrying the Message – When?

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

One of the principles I live is to “carry the message to another alcoholic/addict”. However, the last week I’ve tried to listen more than speak about my sobriety. Despite my experience in sobriety, I don’t know everything; I’m still learning something about myself and others the more I listen. And when I listen, amazing things happen.

Almost every day last week I wanted to write on a topic I was thinking about. But my distracted mind kept me from posting my thoughts. Instead, when I attended a meeting, that specific topic was brought up by another person. Having experience I would share my experience, strength and hope. However, every point I wanted share about the topic was brought up by another person in a different way. In a way, I believe, my Higher Power was speaking through other people not only to others but to me too.

Yesterday, something was read in which I had never heard before. This is quite strange since I know most recovery literature inside and out or so I thought. I’ve mentioned on several occasions, most of the literature I read I relate in one way or another. Here is another example:

In early sobriety, I had to continue to live in a flop-house filled with active drunks. Not drinking, I became acutely aware of my surroundings—the foul smells, the noise, the hostility, and physical danger. My resentments mounted at the realization that I had flushed a career down the drain, disgraced and alienated my family, and been relegated to the meanest of institutions, a skid row shelter. But I was also able to realize that this bonfire of resentment and rage was beckoning me to pick up a drink and plunge into my death. Then I realized that I had to separate my sobriety from everything else that was going on in my life. No matter what happened or didn’t happen, I couldn’t drink. In fact, none of these things that I was going through had anything to do with my sobriety; the tides of life flow endlessly for better or worse, both good and bad, and I cannot allow my sobriety to become dependent on these ups and downs of living. Sobriety must live a life of its own.

Alcoholics Anonymous, He Lived Only to Drink, p. 450-451.

This is exactly how I live today. I still live in a chemical dependency program right across the street from a halfway house (“a flop-house filled with active drunks”). Of the eighteen men who live in the house, maybe one or two are active members of a program of recovery. The others – they are miserable and they show me every day. I simply have nothing to do with any of them.
What about my program of “sharing our experience, strength and hope to the suffering alcoholic/addict”?

It is only through our own experiences one knows when to share and when not to share. If you’re rambling on about how miserable your life is – I’ll listen. When I ask you to listen but you must remind me of your misery – the ball stops there. I might politely remind you to listen again. But if you’re not paying attention, why should I be talking? Put your feet in my shoes. When you’re talking to someone and they are on their phone, looking around, not looking at you directly, interrupting or you’re trying to talk over me- it’s disrespectful and rude. I don’t let it happen. I was in your shoes and it didn’t work. Instead, I drank. I didn’t want to deal with the overwhelming problems of life. To be honest, even those mentioned which aren’t receptive, I learn something about myself – what/who not to do/be.

However, if someone asks for help and they are receptive to listening I’ll spend as long as you need me. It’s always a two-way street. First and foremost, the hope is I’m helping you. However, most people don’t realize that they are helping me. Despite my (usual) level head, I have issues of my own. If I’m attentive to what the other person says, I can say 99.9% of the time, I hear something from them which helps me.

DR – December 3, 2019

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
December 3, 2019

Daily Reflection

IN ALL OUR AFFAIRS

“. . . we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.“

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106

I find that carrying the message of recovery to other alcoholics is easy because it helps me to stay sober and it provides me with a sense of well-being about my own recovery. The hard part is practicing these principles in all my affairs. It is important that I share the benefits I receive from A.A., especially at home. Doesn’t my family deserve the same patience, tolerance and understanding I so readily give to the alcoholic? When reviewing my day I try to ask, “Did I have a chance to be a friend today and miss it?” “Did I have a chance to rise above a nasty situation and avoid it?” “Did I have a chance to say ‘I’m sorry,’ and refuse to?”

Just as I ask God for help with my alcoholism each day, I ask for help in extending my recovery to include all situations and all people!

Big Book Quote

“…the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, Page 23~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

There is some alcoholic thought, conscious or unconscious that comes before every slip. As long as we live, we must be on the lookout for such thoughts and guard against them. In fact, our A.A. training is mostly to prepare us, to make us ready to recognize such thoughts at once and to reject them at once. The slip comes when we allow such thoughts to remain in our minds, even before we actually go through the motions of lifting the glass to our lips. The A.A. program is largely one of mental training. How well is my mind prepared?

Meditation for the Day

Fret not your mind with puzzles that you cannot solve. The solutions may never be shown to you until you have left this life. The loss of dear ones, you may not know the inequality of life, the deformed and the maimed, and many other puzzling things until you reach the life beyond. “I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.” Only step by step, stage by stage, can you proceed in your journey into greater knowledge and understanding.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be content that things, which I now see darkly, will some day be made clear. I pray that I may have faith that someday I will see face to face.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Developing Healthy Tolerance

Many of us are skilled at denying and discounting what hurts us. We may endure a particular situation, telling ourselves repeatedly it’s not that bad; we shouldn’t be so demanding; it’ll change any day; we should be able to live with it; it doesn’t annoy us; the other person didn’t really mean it; it doesn’t hurt; maybe it’s just us.

We may fight and argue with ourselves about the reality and validity of our pain – our right to feel it and do something about it.

Often we will tolerate too much or so much that we become furious and refuse to tolerate any more.

We can learn to develop healthy tolerance.

We do that by setting healthy boundaries and trusting ourselves to own our power with people. We can lessen our pain and suffering by validating and paying attention to ourselves. We can work at shortening the time between identifying a need to set a boundary, and taking clear, direct action.

We aren’t crazy. Some behaviors really do bug us. Some behaviors really are inappropriate, annoying, hurtful, or abusive.

We don’t have to feel guilty about taking care of ourselves once we identify a boundary that needs to be set. Look at the experience as an experiment in owning our power, in establishing new, healthy boundaries and limits for ourselves.

We don’t have to feel guilty or apologize or explain ourselves after we’ve set a boundary. We can learn to accept the awkwardness and discomfort of setting boundaries with people. We can establish our rights to have these limits. We can give the other person room to have and explore his or her feelings; we can give ourselves room to have our feelings – as we struggle to own our power and create good, working relationships.

Once we can trust our ability to take care of ourselves, we will develop healthy reasonable tolerance of others.

God, help me begin striving for healthy boundaries and healthy tolerance for others and myself.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

Sometimes I go about pitying myself, and all the time I am being carried, on great winds across the sky.

—Ojibway

“Ah, poor me,” we sometimes say, “I have to work so hard!” “I have so much stress!” “If only my problem with money would get better, then I could be content!” “I just don’t understand women!” “Why can’t my family have fewer troubles?” This attitude of self-pity is as ancient as humanity. The Ojibway recognized blindness to the spiritual path. Every man has problems and challenges, and life often is not fair. Self-pity becomes a stumbling block when we get so narrowly focused upon our problems. We forget we are a part of a whole throng of fellow pilgrims on this path. It helps to notice others beside ourselves who are seeking courage to live their lives.

Sometimes we reawaken our awareness of our Higher Power by seeing that we are “carried on great winds across the sky.” We have many blessings; we are not alone. Often within problems we discover our greatest blessings.

God, help me find the spiritual path in the choices I make today. Help me turn away from self-pity.

Elder’s Meditation

“Listen to the howl of our spiritual brother, the wolf, for how it goes with him, so it goes for the natural world.”

–Oren R. Lyons, Spokesman, Traditional Circle of Elders

If we watch nature, we can tell a lot about what is going on in the world. The animals and the plants are great teachers. Some time ago, crops were sprayed with a poison to kill the insects. Other animals ate the insects. The small animals were eaten by the Eagles and the Wolves. We live in an interconnected system. What we do to one, we do to all. If our spiritual brothers are living in balance, chances are we humans are also living in balance.

Great Spirit, let me listen to my Earth teachers, the plants and the animals.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Several new influences encourage you to look to the future with a sense of excited anticipation. While your first inclination might be to accomplish a domestic project, you need to think outside the box to get it done. Focus your attention on the difference between balancing the familiar with a first-time endeavor. Distant friends may also contribute valuable ideas, so make sure to keep an open-door policy and your phone close at hand. You must be in the game if you want a chance to win.

DR – December 2, 2019

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
December 2, 2019

Daily Reflection

SERENITY

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, . . .

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 106

As I continued to go to meetings and work the Steps, something began to happen to me. I felt confused because I wasn’t sure what it was that I was feeling, and then I realized I was experiencing serenity. It was a good feeling, but where had it come from? Then I realized it had come “. . . as the result of these steps.” The program may not always be easy to practice, but I had to acknowledge that my serenity had come to me after working the Steps. As I work the Steps in everything I do, practicing these principles in all my affairs, now I find that I am awake to God, to others, and to myself. The spiritual awakening I have enjoyed as the result of working the Steps is the awareness that I am no longer alone.

Big Book Quote

“When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work. But the God idea did.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, Page 52~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The thoughts that come before having a slip seem to be partly subconscious. And yet it is likely that at least part of these thoughts get into our consciousness. An idle thought connected with drinking casually pops into our mind. That is the crucial moment. Will I harbor that thought even for one minute or will I banish it from my mind at once? If I let it stay, it may develop into a daydream. I may begin to see a cool glass of beer or a Manhattan cocktail in my mind’s eye. If I allow the daydream to stay in my mind, it may lead to a decision, however unconscious, to take a drink. Then I am headed for a slip. Do I let myself daydream?

Meditation for the Day

Many of us have a sort of vision of the kind of person God wants us to be. We must be true to that vision, whatever it is, and we must try to live up to it, by living the way we believe we should live. We can all believe that God has a vision of what he wants us to be like. In all people there is a good person, which God sees in us, the person we could be and that God would like us to be. But many a person fails to fulfill that promise and God’s disappointments must be many.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may strive to be the kind of a person that God would have me be. I pray that I may try to fulfill God’s vision of what I could be.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Putting Our Life on Hold

We cannot afford to put our needs on hold, waiting for another person to fulfill us, make our life better, or come around and be who and what we want that person to be. That will create resentment, hostility, an unhealthy dependency, and a mess to deal with later on.

If we have decided we want a particular relationship or want to wait about making a decision in a particular relationship, then we must go on with our own life in the interim.

That can be hard. It can feel natural to put our life on hold. That is when we get caught up in the codependent beliefs: That person can make me happy… I need that particular person to do a particular thing in order to be happy….

That’s a circumstance that can hook our low self-esteem, our self-doubt, and our tendency to neglect ourselves.

We can get into this situation in a number of ways. We can do this waiting for a letter, waiting for a job, waiting for a person, waiting for an event.

We do not have to put our life on hold. There will be repercussions from doing this. Go on with your life. Take life a day at a time.

What is something I could be doing now to take care of myself, make myself feel better, get my needs met in an appropriate, healthy way?

How can I own my power to take care of myself, despite what the other person is or isn’t doing?

What will happen if I break the system and begin taking care of myself?

Sometimes, we get the answer we want immediately. Sometimes, we wait for a while. Sometimes, things don’t work out exactly the way we hoped. But they always work out for good, and often better than we expected.

And in the meantime, we have manifested love for ourselves by living our own life and taking the control away from others. That always comes back to us tenfold, because when we actually manifest love for ourselves, we give our Higher Power, other people, and the Universe permission to send us the love we want and need. Stopping living our life to make a thing happen doesn’t work. All it does is make us miserable, because we have stopped living our life.

Today, I will force myself, if necessary, to live my own life. I will act in my own best interest, in a way that reflects self-love. If I have given power or control of my life to someone other than myself, and someone besides a Power greater than myself, I will take it back. I will begin acting in my own best interests, even if it feels awkward to do that.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

The management assumes no responsibility for what is found.

—Abraham Maslow

There are so many occasions when we would like to blame somebody – wife, child, parent, or “the management,” for our feelings. When we get frustrated, overworked, or angry, we want somebody else to take responsibility. In truth, each of us has his own path and is responsible for his feelings. One man said that living alone made it clear to him that his wife wasn’t creating his feelings. Until then he thought she was responsible.

This blaming and not taking responsibility keep a man in the role of victim. When we accept the difficult message that our feelings are ours to deal with and no one else’s, self-improvement begins. We begin to walk the difficult but self respecting path of spiritual awakening. We can do something about whatever hurts. Even in that awakening there are no guarantees that who we are will be totally what we want to find. Our only guarantee is that our Higher Power is with us to deal with the realities of our lives.

Today, help me be responsible for what I feel and do.

Elder’s Meditation

“The smarter a man is the more he needs God to protect him from thinking he knows everything.”

–George Webb, PIMA

A spiritual person needs to be careful. The more confident we are, the more likely our egos will get us into trouble. It’s relatively easy to become self-righteous. We start to think we are teachers and others are students. We start to judge others. We start, very subtlely at first, to play God. After a while we really get good at it. This is very dangerous. We need to remind ourselves, we are here to do God’s will. We need to pray every morning. Each day we need to check in with God to see what He would have us do. At night we need to spend time with God and review our day. By doing these things, we will stay on track.

My Creator, guide my path and show me how to correct my life,

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Procrastination pays off on occasion, as long as it is for a valid reason. Whether it’s paying a bill closer to the due date or calling someone back a few hours later, prioritizing your time affords you distinct advantages. However, this is not a license to behave irresponsibly now, as much as it is about giving you more minutes on the clock. People will appreciate your intentions or ignore them; either way, it requires energy to interact with others. More than money, time is beyond price. Your values are most accurately expressed from within.

DR – December 1, 2019

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
December 1, 2019

Daily Reflection

“SUGGESTED” STEPS

“Our Twelfth Step also says that as a result of practicing all the Steps, we have each found something called a spiritual awakening. . . . A.A.’s manner of making ready to receive this gift lies in the practice of the Twelve Steps in our program.“

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 106-07

I remember my sponsor’s answer when I told him that the Steps were “suggested.” He replied that they are “suggested” in the same way that, if you were to jump out of an airplane with a parachute, it is “suggested” that you pull the ripcord to save your life. He pointed out that it was “suggested” I practice the Twelve Steps, if I wanted to save my life. So I try to remember daily that I have a whole program of recovery based on all Twelve of the “suggested” Steps.

Big Book Quote

“There is action and more action. ‘Faith without works is dead.’”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 88~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The thoughts that come before having a slip are often largely subconscious. It is a question whether or not our subconscious minds ever become entirely free from alcoholic thoughts as long as we live. For instance, some of us dream about being drunk when we are asleep, even after several years of sobriety in A.A. During the period of our drinking days, our subconscious minds have been thoroughly conditioned by our alcoholic way of thinking and it is doubtful if they ever become entirely free of such thoughts during our lifetime. But when our conscious minds are fully conditioned against drinking, we can stay sober and our subconscious minds do not often bother us. Am I still conditioning my conscious mind?

Meditation for the Day

Having sympathy and compassion for all who are in temptation, a condition which we are sometimes in, we have a responsibility towards them. Sympathy always includes responsibility. Pity is useless because it does not have a remedy for the need. But wherever our sympathy goes, our responsibility goes too. When we are moved with compassion, we should go to the one in need and bind up his wounds as best we can.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have sympathy for those in temptation. I pray that I may have compassion for others’ trials.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Letting People Be There for Us

Sometimes, we need nurturing. Sometimes, we need people to support us.

Many of us have been deprived of support and nurturing for so long we may not realize it’s something we want and need. Many of us have learned to block our stop ourselves from getting what we want and need.

We may not reach out to have our needs met. We may be in relationships with people who cannot or will not be available to meet our needs. Or we may be in relationships with people who would be happy to respond to a direct request from us.

We may have to give up something to do this. We may have to let go of our martyr or victim role. If we ask for what we want and need, and get those needs met, we will not be able to punish people, or push them away later on, for disappointing us.

We may have to let go of our fears enough to experience the intimacy that will occur when we allow someone to love and support us. We may even have to learn, one day at a time, how to be happy and content.

Learn to let others be there for us.

Today, I will be open to identifying what I need from people, and I will ask for what I want directly. I will let others be there for me.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

—Albert Camus

Sometimes we suddenly see or sense opposite emotions within ourselves. The cold of winter presses in on us, and we may feel tested by its bite. Yet, when we think we cannot bear it a moment longer, we find a counterforce within, an inner reassurance that comes like a summer breeze and says we can do what we must. Perhaps it comes in a time of dark despair, and we realize that at least we’ve made it this far. We are pretty tough. In our deepest sadness about the loss of a love, we may find a more meaningful contact with our Higher Power.

The opposites in our lives may tempt us to fight them. One side may be very clear and obvious while the other side is hidden. When we are open, these extremes are spiritual teachers for us. As we think about life and our feelings today, what opposites do we find?

Today, I will remember that I have an invincible summer at the deepest part of winter in my life.

Elder’s Meditation

“Sometimes dreams are wiser then waking.”

–Black Elk (Hehaka Sapa), OGLALA

The Great Spirit has many ways of communicating with the human being. He talks to us through the five senses; sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. For example, we can observe nature and see a lesson or get an answer. These five senses function primarily in the physical world. But we also have the ability to receive communication from the Unseen World. To do this we have a sixth sense. It comes in the form of dreams, imagination, intuition, inspiration, or a hunch. Along with the dream or intuitive thought there is a feeling, a knowing. We just know it’s true without the need for proof. We need to pay attention to our dreams and intuition. Don’t cast them off as being silly or useless. Be respectful to our dreams and feelings.

Creator, if you speak to me through dreams, let me know it in terms I can understand.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your brain is buzzing with innovative creativity today. Whether you’re at work or at play, an extra cosmic boost propels you forward. Be wary of overdoing any persuasive tactics or others may think you’re being too bossy. First, plan out exactly what needs to be done. Organize each task by noting what is still left to be completed. Once you have a handle on the process, you can gauge how much time to set aside for yourself. Instead of fretting without cause, add some fun and frivolity to your schedule. Now and then it’s healthy to pause in the pursuit of your goals and just be happy.

DR – November 30, 2019

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
November 30, 2019

Daily Reflection

PROTECTION FOR ALL

“At the personal level, anonymity provides protection for all members from identification as alcoholics, a safeguard often of special importance to newcomers. At the level of press, radio, TV, and films, anonymity stresses the equality in the Fellowship of all members by putting the brake on those who might otherwise exploit their A.A. affiliation to achieve recognition, power, or personal gain.”

— “UNDERSTANDING ANONYMITY,” p. 5

Attraction is the main force in the Fellowship of A.A. The miracle of continuous sobriety of alcoholics within A.A. confirms this fact every day. It would be harmful if the Fellowship promoted itself by publicizing, through the media of radio and TV, the sobriety of well-known public personalities who became members of A.A. If these personalities happened to have slips, outsiders would think our movement is not strong and they might question the veracity of the miracle of the century. Alcoholics Anonymous is not anonymous, but its members should be.

Big Book Quote

“A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative.“

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, Page 133~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

We have slips in A.A. It has been said these are not slips but premeditated drunks, because we have to think about taking a drink before we actually take one. The thought always comes before the act. It is suggested that people should always get in touch with an A.A. before taking that first drink. The failure to do so makes it probable that they had decided to take the drink anyway. And yet the thoughts that come before taking a drink are often largely subconscious. People usually don’t know consciously what made them do it. Therefore, the common practice is to call these things slips. Am I on guard against wrong thinking?

Meditation for the Day

“The eternal God is thy refuge.” He is a sanctuary, a refuge from the cares of life. You can get away from the misunderstanding of others by retiring into your own place of meditation. But from yourself, from your sense of failure, your weakness, your shortcomings, whether can you flee? Only to the eternal God, your refuge, until the immensity of His spirit envelopes your spirit and it loses its smallness and weakness and comes into harmony again with His.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may lose my limitations in the immensity of God’s love. I pray that my spirit may be in harmony with His spirit.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Detachment

One day, my son brought a gerbil home to live with us. We put it in a cage. Some time later, the gerbil escaped. For the next six months, the animal ran frightened and wild through the house. So did we – chasing it.

“There it is. Get it!” we’d scream, each time someone spotted the gerbil. I, or my son, would throw down whatever we were working on, race across the house, and lunge at the animal hoping to catch it.

I worried about it, even when we didn’t see it. “This isn’t right,” I’d think. “I can’t have a gerbil running loose in the house. We’ve got to catch it. We’ve got to do something.”

A small animal, the size of a mouse had the entire household in a tizzy.

One day, while sitting in the living room, I watched the animal scurry across the hallway. In frenzy, I started to lunge at it, as I usually did, then I stopped myself.

No, I said, I’m all done. If that animal wants to live in the nooks and crannies of this house, I’m going to let it. I’m done worrying about it. I’m done chasing it. It’s an irregular circumstance, but that’s just the way it’s going to have to be.

I let the gerbil run past without reacting. I felt slightly uncomfortable with my new reaction – not reacting – but I stuck to it anyway.

I got more comfortable with my new reaction – not reacting. Before long, I became downright peaceful with the situation. I had stopped fighting the gerbil. One afternoon, only weeks after I started practicing my new attitude, the gerbil ran by me, as it had so many times, and I barely glanced at it. The animal stopped in its tracks, turned around, and looked at me. I started to lunge at it. It started to run away. I relaxed.

“Fine,” I said. “Do what you want.” And I meant it.

One hour later, the gerbil came and stood by me, and waited. I gently picked it up and placed it in its cage, where it has lived happily ever since. The moral of the story? Don’t lunge at the gerbil. He’s already frightened, and chasing him just scares him more and makes us crazy.

Detachment works.

Today, I will be comfortable with my new reaction – not reacting. I will feel at peace.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

—Mark Twain

It is hard for many of us to learn to admit the wrongs we do. We have followed lifestyles that led us away from recognizing our true feelings. Remnants of this blindness continue into our recovery. In this quiet time we can deepen and nourish a relationship with ourselves. Facing our disapproval and admitting it lead us to comfort and self-respect. Right now we can ask ourselves, “What messages do 1 receive from myself? What is my Higher Power telling me? Do I sense some gut feeling? Am I true to my relationships with loved ones? Have I been open to the feelings of my spouse. Of my friends? Of my boss? Do I owe anyone an apology which I can promptly make?”

Some of us indulge in worry, fear, and anger beyond a useful or meaningful point. What can we do about these excesses of feeling? First, we admit them to ourselves and to others. Then, we trust our Higher Power for the outcome, and they will fall away.

Today, I will nourish a relationship with myself by facing my own disapproval and growing toward greater comfort.

Elder’s Meditation

“Someone must speak for them. I do not see a delegation for the four footed. I see no seat for eagles. We forget and we consider ourselves superior, but we are after all a mere part of the Creation.”

–Oren Lyons, ONONDAGA

Whenever we make decisions, we need to look around to see who would be affected. If we change the course of a river, who, what will be affected? If we put poison on the gardens, who, what will be affected? If wee cut the trees and too many are cut, who, what will be affected? We need to become aware of the consequences of our actions. We need to pay attention to our thoughts. We are accountable to our children to leave the Earth in good shape.

My Creator, help me make right decisions

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Striking new conceptual breakthroughs can shift your thinking on an important subject. You want your allies to know more about your inner process, but it may seem as if they are more interested in your actions than your feelings now. Impulsive outrage might come out of nowhere with little notice. Nevertheless, you are being offered the gift of awareness today. Glimpse your future by asking critical questions. Welcome sincere apologies, creative ideas, and all forms of interpersonal interaction. Let go of your expectations about being understood. Rest easy and carry no grudges. Spin a web of love and invite others in.

Holidays? Again . . .

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Honestly, I started this as “Thanksgiving 2019”. But quickly it grew into memories of the past. Sometimes, we just have to go there:

. . . We don’t regret the past, not shut the door on it. . .

Alcoholics Anonymous, Ninth Step Promises, p. 83 and 84

I am not one for holidays; to me, holidays are just another day. I’m not anti-holiday by any means. Holidays in the United States are so overblown now with commercialism by the time they get here, I’m burned out. Besides, I don’t have anyone close, family or friends, to get into the “Holiday Spirit”.

Holiday events in my past were good and bad; I was so confused. For instance, every Thanksgiving and Christmas we would travel on one or the other. Either my relatives came to California or we went to Illinois or Missouri. If it was in California, I had seven pairs of great uncles and aunts who happen to live around the same trailer park in Long Beach or the surrounding area, so it was a couple of days at this person’s or that person’s home. I enjoyed getting out of our home and away from the chaos. But the chaos followed. What was suppose to be enjoyable turned into a nightmare?

I’d been learning to play piano since I was three or four years old. Many, if not most, relatives had a piano in their living room. The only one who could play was me. So from Thanksgiving to Christmas and beyond, if the family was together, there was a piano, my mother had to show me off to everyone. God forbid if I didn’t play Für Elise composed by Ludwig van Beethoven (1770–1827)! I enjoyed playing it because I put all my emotions into it. Then it usually was Christmas carols over and over.

Afterward, it was back home. My mother drunk, my father I’m sure was half- way there. Then it was time to endure her rage and abuse. Everything I did was wrong. Everything that everyone else did wrong was blamed on me. Out came whatever was close to her (belt, metal hanger, etc). Swap, swap, swap.

Thanksgiving 2002 wasn’t a high point in my life. At this point, my mother and I were constantly yelling at each other. I was still drinking despite my DUI in 1998. I had recently just lost my job (American Express moved). Mom had enough and moved down to San Diego with my sister all without telling me. I was left in an apartment with $1500 + due at the first of the month. Thirty days later, I was evicted and homeless for a year and a half in California. Not fun times at all.

I actually still have my old journal entries from LiveJournal (another blogging company way before WordPress came along). I got sober December 1, 2007. My last entry was November 28, 2007. Just reading them pains me – UGH. The honesty really started coming out the middle of November until November 28th – I’m a drunk! I don’t post again until Jan 28, 2008, when I’m two months sober.

I’m sure much of the trauma I endured during those decades has caused my disinclination (Honestly, I wanted to put disgust but its not true. I had to look for a similar word. New word of the day meaning a reluctance or lack of enthusiasm. Hey it fits!), At times I do want to get festive. However, I never get around to doing it. What’s the point when you live alone and no one comes to visit? Oh…a waste of money. All I have are past memories.

Today?

I had a great Thanksgiving 2019! Seriously, a friend from the rooms invited me over to his home. His family and some other people from the rooms showed up. I was uncomfortable at first but I knew I was in a good place.

So with that said:

DR – November 29, 2019

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
November 29, 2019

Daily Reflection

“ACTIVE GUARDIANS”

To us, however, it represents far more than a sound public relations policy. It is more than a denial of self-seeking. This Tradition is a constant and practical reminder that personal ambition has no place in A.A. In it, each member becomes an active guardian of our Fellowship.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 183

The basic concept of humility is expressed in the Eleventh Tradition: it allows me to participate completely in the program in such a simple, yet profound, manner; it fulfills my need to be an integral part of a significant whole. Humility brings me closer to the actual spirit of togetherness and oneness, without which I could not stay sober. In remembering that every member is an example of sobriety, each one living the Eleventh Tradition, I am able to experience freedom because each one of us is anonymous.

Big Book Quote

To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Foreword To First Edition, pg. xiii~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The A.A. way is the way of sobriety, and yet there are slips. Why do these slips occur? Why don’t we all accept A.A. and stay sober from then on? There are many reasons, but it has been proved without exception that once we have become alcoholics we can never drink successfully again. This has never been disproved by any case we know of. Many alcoholics have tried drinking after a period of sobriety from a few days to a few years and no one that we know of has been successful in becoming a normal drinker. Could I be the only exception to this rule?

Meditation for the Day

“We are gathered together in Thy name.” First, we are gathered together, bound by a common loyalty to God and to each other. Then, when this condition has been fulfilled, God is present with us. Then, when God is there and one with us, we voice a common prayer. Then it follows that our prayer will be answered according to God’s will. Then, when our prayer is answered, we are bound together in a lasting fellowship of the spirit.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be loyal to God and to others. I pray that my life today may be lived close to His and to theirs.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Step Twelve

The Twelfth Step says that having had a spiritual awakening, we try to carry this message to others. Our message is one of hope, love, comfort, health – a better way of life, one that works.

How do we carry it? Not by rescuing. Not by controlling. Not by obsessing. Not by becoming evangelists for the recovery cause.

We carry the message in many small, subtle, but powerful ways. We do our own recovery work and become a living demonstration of hope, self-love, comfort, and health. These quiet behaviors can be a powerful message.

Inviting (not ordering or demanding) someone to go to a meeting is a powerful way to carry the message.

Going to our meetings and sharing how recovery works for us is a powerful way to carry the message.

Being who we are and allowing our Higher Power to guide our actions are powerful ways to carry the message. Often, we find ourselves carrying the message more effectively than we do when we set out to reform, convince, or coerce someone into recovery.

Caretaking and controlling are not ways to carry the message. All those behaviors carry is codependency.

Still, the most powerful form of helping others comes down to helping ourselves. When we do our own work and are honest and open about it, we impact others more than by our most well intentioned “helping” gesture. We cannot change others, but when we change ourselves, we may end up changing the world.

Today, I will strive to carry the message in ways that work. I will let go of my need to “help” people. Instead, I will concentrate on helping and changing myself. If an opportunity comes up to share my recovery with someone, I will do so quietly. God, help me show others comfort, empowerment, and hope. I can be a channel to help others when I am ready. I do not have to force this; it will happen naturally.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

As with expeditions into the wilds when we have endured storms and rapids, cold and sleet, and sometimes lack of food, it is ultimately the good things we remember, not the bad.


—Sigurd F. Olson

In our daily lives we often take a very short perspective. We see what is worrisome today, what is pressing hardest, or what is most frightening or confusing. Eventually, we may look back and have a totally different idea about what was truly important on this day.

Let us take a moment now to remember what does endure, what we value most, what counts in the long run. For a brief quiet time we can let go of all the anxieties of this moment. During these few quiet moments, we will identify our tensions and then place them totally into the hands of our Higher Power. This is our time to let go of our worries and be refreshed. It will provide a background of serenity for our day.

Today, help me remember this corner of serenity as I meet the tasks and activities on my path.

Elder’s Meditation

“Life, the circle, a measurement with no beginning and no end.”

–Phillip Deere, MUSKOGEE-CREEK

The circle teaches us how the Creator made things and how to live. It teaches us how we should look at creation. Life travels in a circle. In the East is the baby, to the South is the youth, in the West is the adult and in the North is the Elder. Then we return to the Earth Mother to start the cycle again. We observe what is `around us’ from the center of the circle. This develops our point of view. We must be careful not to become self-centered.

Great Spirit, let me observe life from the circle’s point of view.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

A spiritual umbrella may be required in your immediate future to protect you from people’s negative vibes. Anytime someone else brings you a worry or concern, your innate parental instinct steps forward to take them under your wing and shield them from harm. Lending a helping hand is what you do and your current practicality enables you to support those around you in a realistic manner. Applying your wisdom is quite natural now because you have a knack for expressing compassion with a pragmatic twist. Let your heart take the reins and lead your mind.

DR – November 28, 2019

On By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings
November 28, 2019

Daily Reflection

ATTRACTION, NOT PROMOTION

“Through many painful experiences, we think we have arrived at what that policy ought to be. It is the opposite in many ways of usual promotional practice. We found that we had to rely upon the principle of attraction rather than of promotion.”

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 180-81

While I was drinking I reacted with anger, self-pity and defiance against anyone who wanted to change me. All I wanted then was to be accepted by another human simply as I was and, curiously, that is what I found in A.A. I became the custodian of this concept of attraction, which is the principle of our Fellowship’s public relations. It is by attraction that I can best reach the alcoholic who still suffers.

I thank God for having given me the attraction of a well-planned and established program of Steps and Traditions. Through humility and the support of my fellow sober members, I have been able to practice the A.A. way of life through attraction, not promotion.

Big Book Quote

“We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn’t treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful.“

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 67~

24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book

Thought for the Day

The A.A. way is the way of sobriety. A.A. is known everywhere as a method that has been successful with alcoholics. Doctors, psychiatrists, and the clergy have had some success. Some men and women have gotten sober all by themselves. We believe that A.A. is the most successful and happiest way to sobriety. And yet A.A. is, of course, not wholly successful. Some are unable to achieve sobriety and some slip back into alcoholism after they have had some measure of sobriety. Am I deeply grateful to have found A.A.?

Meditation for the Day

Gratitude to God is the theme of Thanksgiving Day. The pilgrims gathered to give thanks to God for their harvest, which was pitifully small. When we look around at all the things we have today, how can we help being grateful to God? Our families, our homes, our friends, our A.A. fellowship: all these things are free gifts of God to us. “But for the grace of God,” we would not have them.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be very grateful today. I pray that I may not forget where I might be but for the grace of God.

The Language of Letting Go – Codependency

Back to the Steps

Go back to the Steps. Go back to a Step

When we don’t know what to do next, when we feel confused, upset, distraught, at the end of our rope, overwhelmed, full of self will, rage, or despair, go back to the Steps.

No matter what situation we are facing, working a Step will help. Focus on one, trust your instincts, and work it.

What does it mean to work a Step? Think about it. Meditate on it. Instead of focusing on the confusion, the problems, or the situation causing our despair or rage, focus on the Step.

Think about how that Step might apply. Hold on to it. Hang on as tightly as we hang on to our confusion or the problem.

The Steps are a solution. They work. We can trust them to work.

We can trust where the Steps will lead us.

When we don’t know what step to take next, take one of the Twelve.

Today, I will concentrate on using the Twelve Steps to solve problems and keep me in balance and harmony. I will work a Step to the best of my ability. I will learn to trust the Steps, and rely on them instead of on my protective, codependent behaviors.

Touchstone – Men’s Meditation

“Our job gives most of us a clear role…. Although we may feel relatively lost at home, we know who we are and what to do at work.”

—Pierre Mornell

Most men have become well adapted to the workaday world. Even if our jobs seem like drudgery, they provide us with a place and a routine, which define us. Many of us have welcomed the end of a weekend or a vacation because we could go back to our jobs and definite roles. This situation has many drawbacks. For one thing, if we are out of work, we may feel adrift. Furthermore, if we have defined ourselves only as breadwinners, we have probably missed the benefits of closeness in our families. Some of us have even said, “I feel like I’m nothing but a meal ticket.”

A good job does have value, but we can also grow by giving more of ourselves in our less clear roles at home. It is healing to just “hang around” with our families and friends and to simply let relationships develop. The personal, familiar relationships that don’t depend on jobs and roles let us be comfortably human.

I am thankful for the humanizing effect of my relationships at home.

Elder’s Meditation

“People say that crisis changes people and turns ordinary people into wiser or more responsible ones.”

–Wilma Mankiller, CHEROKEE

There is a saying, conflict precedes clarity. The Medicine Wheel teachings say, in order for something to change it must first go through a struggle. When a crisis enters our lives, other powers are there to help us. We will learn some lessons. Will I honor and respect the next crisis?

Great Spirit, if a crisis occurs today, let me learn the lessons of wisdom

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Good luck tags along wherever you go today, popping up at work when you least expect it. Of course, this doesn’t mean you are let off the hook. You need to be ready to make your move when the stars are on your side. Helpful coworkers remain in good supply if you remember to acknowledge their contributions to your cause. However, you may inadvertently push others away if you are overly serious. Keep the tone lighthearted and your expectations to a minimum. Alphonse Karr wrote, “Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”