Losing a Loved One

We all experience loss of those we love. Whether it’s heart_20170709a parent, grandparent or another family member even pets. Many have lived their life to the fullest, as in my case. Heart, my cat I’ve had since July, is in the final stages of her life. It’s heart-wrenching to watch but I know it’s time.

A lot of tears are flowing down my cheeks since I was awakened to her cold nose rubbing against mine. Heart, my cat, never does that in the morning. Usually, it’s a cry or howl, “Hey I want to be fed.” But as soon as I realized she had shortness of breath, I knew it wouldn’t be much longer.

She now rests near me in her final moments; her breathing is getting shallower and she hasn’t moved. I have told her how much I love her and will miss her, stroking her side lightly through the process. While this is a heart-wrenching process to watch, its not something I’m unfamilar with as a Certified Nursing Assistant. But when it’s one of your own, it is much harder.

I have chosen to stay by her side for comfort. My employer has already been called out of respect for my fellow employees (who honesty I don’t give a rats ass about right now). I want her to know how much I love her and it’s okay to go. With a little whip of her tail, I know she is comforted.

I am heart-broken right now, knowing her life is close to an end. It’s painful. But would drinking help relieve my pain? No, not at all. It would just make matters worse. I could drink myself to my own death, pass out and miss her final moments or be completely selfish and be in my own world of drunkedness.

Today, I’m grateful to be by her side – sober.

 

DR – September 25, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 25, 2017:

Daily Reflection

FIRST THINGS FIRST

Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job – wife or no wife – we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98

Before coming to A.A., I always had excuses for taking a drink: “She said . . . ,” “He said . . . ,” “I got fired yesterday,” “I got a great job today.” No area of my life could be good if I drank again. In sobriety my life gets better each day. I must always remember not to drink, to trust God, and to stay active in A.A. Am I putting anything before my sobriety, God, and A.A. today?

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

Everybody nowadays believes in scores of assumptions for which there is good evidence, but no perfect visual proof. And does not science demonstrate that visual proof is the weakest proof? It is being constantly revealed, as mankind studies the material world, that outward appearances are not inward reality at all.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 48~

Keep It Simple

Martyrs set bad examples—David Russell

Sometimes we call people “martyrs.” We sometimes think of them as victims. They suffer, but sometimes not for a cause. They play “poor me.” They want people to notice how much they suffer. They are afraid to really live. These are the people who set bad examples.

True martyrs died for causes they believed in. We remember them because they were so full of energy and spirit. Recovery helps us live better. Let’s go for it!

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, thanks for giving me energy and for healing my spirit. Help me live fully by putting my life in Your care.

Action for the Day:
What kind of example do I set? Does my life reflect joy for life and recovery?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Unrealistic expectations encourage you to bite off more than you can chew today. You may be tempted to create a lengthy to-do list, only to discover that you are setting yourself up for disappointment. However, a more pragmatic approach to managing your calendar empowers you to reach your goals in a timely manner. Author Jim Rohn wrote, “Either you run the day or the day runs you.”

DR – September 24, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 24, 2017:

Daily Reflection

VIGILANCE

We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.” Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33

Today I am an alcoholic. Tomorrow will be no different. My alcoholism lives within me now and forever. I must never forget what I am. Alcohol will surely kill me if I fail to recognize and acknowledge my disease on a daily basis. I am not playing a game in which a loss is a temporary setback. I am dealing with my disease, for which there is no cure, only daily acceptance and vigilance.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 69~

Keep It Simple

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.— Will Durant

Sometimes we say bad things about others. When we do this, it makes us look bad too.

Our friends worry what we might say about them behind their backs. They’re afraid to trust us. We become known as gossips.

The things we say about other people tell a lot about us. We are kind or unkind. We gossip or we don’t. This doesn’t mean we have to say everyone is wonderful all the time. As we work our program to see ourselves better, we begin to see other people more clearly too. We see their strong points and their weak points. But we can know these things without gossiping about them.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me see others clearly, and in their best light. Let me bring out the good in others.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list the people I’m closest to at work, school, and home. I’ll think of how I talk about them to others. Am I kind?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Ironically, your misinterpretation of someone’s message might actually turn out for the best because it gives you a chance to stretch your imagination. Luckily, your illusion could eventually become real as active Mars opposes fantasy-prone Neptune. However, discerning the facts can be quite challenging now as conflicting stories battle for supremacy. Spanish author Miguel de Cervantes wrote, “Truth will rise above falsehood as oil above water.”

DR – September 23, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 23, 2017:

Daily Reflection

“I WAS AN EXCEPTION”

He [Bill W.] said to me, gently and simply, “Do you think that you are one of us?”

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 413 (Third Edition)

During my drinking life I was convinced I was an exception. I thought I was beyond petty requirements and had the right to be excused. I never realized that the dark counterbalance of my attitude was the constant feeling that I did not “belong.” At first, in A.A., I identified with others only as an alcoholic. What a wonderful awakening for me it has been to realize that, if human beings were doing the best they could, then so was I! All of the pains, confusions and joys they feel are not exceptional, but part of my life, just as much as anybody’s.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

If circumstances warrant, we ask our wives or friends to join us in morning meditation. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 87~

Keep It Simple

“. . . he who finds himself loses his misery.” ~ Matthew Arnold

We have lost a lot of misery. In it’s place inside us, a spirit grows. . . as love is added.

Especially self-love. In our illness, we came to hate ourselves. It was really our illness we hated. We couldn’t find ourselves. All we saw was what others saw—our illness.

In recovery, we’ve found ourselves again. We’ve found we’re good people. We’ve also come to love the world around us. We see we have something to offer this world—ourselves.

Why? Because we have found ourselves.

Prayer for the Day:
I’m so glad to be alive. At times life hurts, but, in living, I found You. Thank-you Higher Power. I pray that we may always be close.

Action for the Day:
I will list ten great things I’ve discovered about myself in recovery.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You have a message to convey today, and won’t likely be swayed from your previously established agenda. The fixed Scorpio Moon is camped out in your 5th House of Love and Romance, turning even the most casual conversations into ones filled with flirtation and innuendo. Thankfully, you can consciously slow things down if an interaction heats up too quickly. Regardless of where this road takes you, be sure to express your gratitude for the diverse experiences you have along the way. Serve the world with your joy.

DR – September 22, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 22, 2017:

Daily Reflection

A “LIMITLESS LODE”dr

Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the last ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father feels he has struck something better than gold. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 128-29

When I talk with a newcomer to A.A., my past looks me straight in the face. I see the pain in those hopeful eyes, I extend my hand, and then the miracle happens: I become healed. My problems vanish as I reach out to this trembling soul.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctors advice. He thought all alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available for its quick energy value at times of fatigue. He added that occasionally in the night a vague craving arose which would be satisfied by candy. Many of us have noticed a tendency to eat sweets and have found this practice beneficial.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 133~

Keep It Simple

One Day at a Time – Program slogan

This slogan means we are to take with us only the joys and problems of the present day.

We don’t carry with us the mistakes of the days gone by. We have no room for them. We are to work at loving others today. Just today.

It’s crazy for us to think we can handle more than one day at a time. During our illness, we lived everywhere but in the here and now. We looked to the future or punished ourselves with our past. One Day at a Time teaches us to go easy. It teaches us to focus on what really means anything to us: the here and now.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me turn the slogans of my programs into a way of life. Help me to live life moment by moment, One Day at a Time.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll practice living in the present. When I find myself living in the past or in the future, I’ll bring
myself back to today.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Although you may be dreaming about the future, you’re still quite attached to the past. You enjoy your nostalgic trips down Memory Lane, but you’re obsessed with recreating the good old days now, and preserving them for the journey ahead. Luckily, your mind is like a steel trap today, and time is on your side. Maharishi Mahesh Yogi said, “Happiness radiates like the fragrance from a flower, and draws all good things toward you.”

DR – September 21, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 21, 2017:

<b><u>Daily Reflection</u></b>

THE LAST PROMISE

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The last Promise in the Big Book came true for me on the very first day of sobriety. God kept me sober that day, and on every other day I allowed Him to operate in my life. He gives me the strength, courage and guidance to meet my responsibilities in life so that I am then able to reach out and help others stay sober and grow. He manifests within me, making me a channel of His word, thought and deed. He works with my inner self, while I produce in the outer world, for He will not do for me what I can do for myself. I must be willing to do His work, so that He can function through me successfully.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

<b><u>Big Book Quote</u></b>

Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you. If you leave such a person alone, he may soon become
convinced that he cannot recover by himself. To spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic an opportunity to live and be happy.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others, pg. 96~

<b><u>Keep It Simple</u></b>

Love doesn’t make the world go around. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
—Franklin Jones

Before recovery, anger, self-pity, and sadness often filled our hearts. The world went on. We came to hate the ride.

In recovery, love fills our hearts. We begin to love life. Love is really caring about what happens to other people. Love is what makes the ride worth it. We find much love in our program.

People really mater to us. We really matter to others. For many of us, we learn how to love in our meetings. The program teaches love because the program is love.

Prayer for the Day:
I pray that I’ll welcome love into my heart and others into my life. Love brings me closer to my Higher Power.

Action for the Day:
I’ll list all the people I love and why they matter to me.

<b><u>Daily Horoscope – Cancer</u></b>

A family member or friend might make unexpected demands of your time today, placing you in an uncomfortable position. You already have plans and aren’t thrilled about canceling them just to accommodate someone else. Nevertheless, you are devoted to keeping the peace now, and will find a way to graciously handle the situation without giving away your power. Evolution reminds us that adaptation is the key to survival.

DR – September 20, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 20, 2017:

Daily Reflection

H.P. AS GUIDE

See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

— ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164

Having a right relationship with God seemed to be an impossible order. My chaotic past had left me filled with guilt and remorse and I wondered how this “God business” could work. A.A. told me that I must turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him. With nowhere else to turn, I went down on my knees and cried, “God, I can’t do this. Please help me!” It was when I admitted my powerlessness that a glimmer of light began to touch my soul, and then a willingness emerged to let God control my life. With Him as my guide, great events began to happen, and I found the beginning of sobriety.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead or casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of  premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 37~

Keep It Simple

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. —Mark Twain

Sometimes it does no good to try to “deal” with your feelings. For the moment, we’re stuck. We can only see things one way. No matter what anyone says, we’re closed up. For the moment. But this puts our sobriety at risk.

How do we stop self-pity? Focus on someone else. When we really want to help someone else be happy, we’ll ask our Higher Power’s help. Then things start to change, because our good deeds come back to us.

Remember, service will always keep us sober.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, sometimes I get stuck in my old ways. Help me change my focus at those times. Help me stay sober.

Action for the Day:
I will think of a time when I was stuck in bad feelings. How did I get out of that spot.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You might become so obsessed with a cause that you lose your objectivity and forget about the people around you today. You sound extremely intelligent when you passionately describe the global predicament from your perspective. The virtuous Virgo New Moon channels your attention to your 3rd House of Distractions, spreading your energy over a wide swathe of reality. Dr. Jane Goodall wrote, “You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

DR – September 19, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 19, 2017:

Daily Reflection

ACCEPTANCE

We admitted we couldn’t lick alcohol with our own remaining resources, and so we accepted the further fact that dependence upon a Higher Power (if only our A.A. group) could do this hitherto impossible job. The moment we were able to accept these facts fully, our release from the alcohol compulsion had begun.

— AS BILL SEES IT, p. 109

Freedom came to me only with my acceptance that I could turn my will and my life over to the care of my Higher Power, whom I call God. Serenity seeped into the chaos of my life when I accepted that what I was going through was life, and that God would help me through my difficulties – and much more, as well. Since then He has helped me through all of my difficulties! When I accept situations as they are, not as I wish them to be, then I can begin to grow and have serenity and peace of mind.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in Gods hands were better than anything we could have planned.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Working With Others pg. 100~

Keep It Simple

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could have planned.—Alcoholics Anonymous
We can’t control the present by looking into the future. We can only look back at the past. The past can teach us how to get more out of the present. But the past is to be learned from, not to be judged.

As we look back, we see the troubles caused by addiction. But we also see recovery. We see how our lives are better. We see our Higher Power’s work in our lives. If we honestly look at our past, we learn.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me learn from the past. With Your help, I’ll stop judging my past, just as I wouldn’t judge those who have gone before me.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll remember my life before I got sober. Do I still hang on to attitudes or behaviors that might make me start to use alcohol and other drugs again?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your brain is being taxed by all the facts and figures you must keep track of now. However, all you really want to do is stare out the window today, and let your imagination run wild as you make up stories in the clouds. But dreaming is a luxury you can’t afford while your concentration is needed in the real world. Luckily, you can narrow your vision and reach your goals by simply exercising a little self-discipline. Your focus determines your future.

DR – September 18, 2017

Daily Recovery Readings for September 17, 2017:

Daily Reflection

LOVED BACK TO RECOVERY

Our whole treasured philosophy of self-sufficiency had to be cast aside. This had not been done with old-fashioned willpower; it was instead a matter of developing the willingness to accept these new facts of living. We neither ran nor fought. But accept we did. And then we were free.

— BEST OF THE GRAPEVINE, Vol. I, p. 198

I can be free of my old enslaving self. After a while I recognize, and believe in, the good within myself. I see that I have been loved back to recovery by my Higher Power, who envelops me. My Higher Power becomes that source of love and strength that is performing a continuing miracle in me. I am sober . . . and I am grateful.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

…we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all-every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 76~

Keep It Simple

We feel that the elimination of our drinking is but a beginning.-–Alcoholics Anonymous

Giving up alcohol or other drugs is just the start. Even if we give up chemicals, can we be happy if we have our old life back in every other way? We have to do more. We have to see how our illness has changed us. To do this, we turn to the Steps. Our program teaches us to become new persons. We will change. And the changes will make us happy. That’s
the best part of recovery—change.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, make me open to changes that will heal me. Help see I’m not cured just because I stopped drinking or using drugs.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll chose one thing about myself I want to change.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You are like a talk radio host today, sounding as if you’re wildly interested in whatever others are saying. However, you’re operating with an agenda of your own now, and each person you interview becomes a pawn in your scheme to promote your point of view. Getting carried away with your self-importance won’t further your cause, so check yourself before it’s too late. Relax your desire to control all the information by considering your role in the larger picture. Tony Robbins said, “Trade your expectation for appreciation and the world changes instantly.”