Daily Recovery Readings
October 10, 2020
FIXING ME, NOT YOU
If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.
— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 90
What a freedom I felt when this passage was pointed out to me! Suddenly I saw that I could do something about my anger, I could fix me, instead of trying to fix them. I believe that there are no exceptions to the axiom. When I am angry, my anger is always self-centered. I must keep reminding myself that I am human, that I am doing the best I can, even when that best is sometimes poor. So I ask God to remove my anger and truly set me free.
Big Book Quote
For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination.
It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt and one more failure.
~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 151~
24 Hours a Day – The Little Black Book
Thought for the Day
When new members come into my A.A. group, do I make a special effort to make them feel at home? Do I put myself out to listen to them, even if their ideas of A.A. are vague? Do I make it a habit to talk to all new members myself, or do I often leave that to someone else? I may not be able to help them, but then again it may be something that I might say that would put them on the right track. When I see any members sitting alone, do I put myself out to be nice to them, or do I stay among my own special group of friends and leave them out in the cold? Are all new A.A. s my responsibility?
Meditation for the Day
You are God’s servant. Serve Him cheerfully and readily. Nobody likes a servant who avoids extra work, who complains about being called from one task to do one less enjoyable. A master would feel ill served by such a servant. But is that not how you so often serve God? View your day’s work in this light. Try to do your day’s work the way you believe God wants you to do it, never shirking any responsibility and often going out of your way to be of service.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be a good servant. I pray that I may be willing to go out of my way to be of service.
The Language of Letting Go – Codependency
Payoffs from Destructive Relationships
Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.
The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.
Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or morally superior to the other person.
Some of us feel alleviated from financial or other kinds of responsibility by staying in a particular relationship.
“My father sexually abused me when I was a child,” said one woman. “I went on to spend the next twenty years blackmailing him emotionally and financially on this. I could get money from him whenever I wanted, and I never had to take financial responsibility for myself.”
Realizing that we may have gotten a codependent payoff from a relationship is not a cause for shame. It means we are searching out the blocks in ourselves that may be stopping our growth.
We can take responsibility for the part we may have played in keeping ourselves victimized. When we are willing to look honestly and fearlessly at the payoff and let it go, we will find the healing we’ve been seeking. We’ll also be ready to receive the positive, healthy payoffs available in relationships, the payoffs we really want and need.
Today, I will be open to looking at the payoffs I may have received from staying in unhealthy relationships, or from keeping destructive systems operating. I will become ready to let go of my need to stay in unhealthy systems; I am ready to face myself.
Touchstone – Men’s Meditation
The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes.
When we stand and look at a mountain, it looks awesome, majestic, and perhaps intimidating. To climb the mountain we will need to select a route. Which approach will give us success? Which will provide a beautiful view? Which is safest? What are the rewards and trade offs among the paths available?
In our lives, we usually cannot choose the mountains that face us, but we can choose the best paths to approach them. One path may be a very negative attitude. It may feel safe like a narrow, protected passageway. It is predictable, but it keeps us cut off from others. Another path may be filled with too many self-indulgent pleasures and never progress in any direction. Another path may be hard and include some risks, but it allows us to be in contact with others and to appreciate the beauty along the way. When we make positive choices about our attitudes, although the mountain is challenging, we are liberated to become the kind of men we’re meant to be.
Today, I will choose friendly attitudes toward myself that will help me on my journey.
“I think that’s what unity is – knowing one another,coming together, and working with no conflict.”
–Chief Alan Wilson, HAIDA
When we are aligned with spiritual values, we cannot be in fear or conflict. When we are aligned to spiritual values, we have the Creator whispering solutions in our ears. Unity is one of the spiritual values. When we value unity we value solutions. If we think this way, then we have no conflict within ourselves.
Great Spirit, let me see through Your eyes.
Daily Horoscope – Cancer
You’ve been trying your hardest to make a relationship that is significant to you work out, but it may seem like you keep running into a brick wall. If you find yourself trying to force the type of relationship you want, it can cause the opposite and push a person away. You mean well, of course, but today, consider giving some space to the relationship. This doesn’t mean you are giving up — it will give both parties the chance to figure out what they want.