DR – July 18, 2017

On July 18, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 17, 2017:

Daily Reflection

GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE

During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

Today my prayers consist mostly of saying thank you to my Higher Power for my sobriety and for the wonder of God’s abundance, but I need to ask also for help and the power to carry out His will for me. I no longer need God each minute to rescue me from the situations I get myself into by not doing His will. Now my gratitude seems to be directly linked to humility. As long as I have the humility to be grateful for what I have, God continues to provide for me.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 125

Keep It Simple

It takes twenty years to become an overnight success.—Eddie Cantor

Successful people make life look easy. But it’s not. Years of hard work, trial and error, and learning probably went on into each success. The key is this: We must choose to do what we really like. If we want to be successful, we’ll have to work at it. We’ll have letdowns, and we’ll get bored at times. But we’ll be happy because we’re doing what we want, what we know is best for us. Real success has to do with our own happiness.

In our programs, we’ll meet many successful people. They’ve worked hard at recovery, and they are still learning. And they’re happy to share their success with us.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, thank-you for the success the program has already given me.

Action for the Day:
I’ll list three ways I know I am a success today. Number one: I’m sober!

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Although you may experience a surge of unexpressed feelings rising to the surface today, it isn’t strong enough to pull you away from the sweetness of your life. However, negative emotions can still detract from an otherwise positive experience. Remain open to the love that is all around you now, even if you are wary of it morphing into something different from what you ultimately desire. Sri Chinmoy teaches, “Peace begins when expectation ends.”

DR – July 17, 2017

On July 17, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 17, 2017:

Daily Reflection

SURRENDER AND SELF-EXAMINATION

My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive.

Thus I think it can work out with emotional sobriety. If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God’s help, continually surrender these hobbling demands. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety.

— THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 238

Years of dependency on alcohol as a chemical mood-changer deprived me of the capability to interact emotionally with my fellows. I thought I had to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, and self-motivated in a world of unreliable people. Finally I lost my self-respect and was left with dependency, lacking any ability to trust myself or to believe in anything. Surrender and self-examination while sharing with newcomers helped me to ask humbly for help.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 43~

Keep It Simple

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.—Marie Curie

We have many sides, some good, and some bad. Maybe we’re afraid to see our faults. But we don’t need to be afraid. After all, we need to know our dark side before we can change it. When we see ourselves clearly, we can stop our dark side from causing trouble.

When we shine light on our fears and secrets, we’ll begin to feel better about ourselves. We’ll feel more safe about sharing our worries. The more honest we are with ourselves and others, the better and stronger we become. The goodness and love in us will blossom. We have a Higher Power and a program to help us.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me be brave enough to see myself clearly. Gently teach me to see who I really am. Help me know enough to stay sober today.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll look myself in the eyes. I’ll spend two minutes looking into my eyes in a mirror. I’ll talk to my sponsor about what I see.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Obviously, it’s always wise to listen to your feelings, but today there’s an additional level of concern. You’re operating under the influence of impulsive Mars and crazy Uranus, making your actions impossible for anyone to predict. It may sound like fun to agitate a strange situation that isn’t even yours — until you are entangled and can’t break loose. It might even feel like someone has thrown a monkey wrench into the works. Regroup and shift gears as necessary to respond to the changing conditions. Flexibility allows you to reach your goals in record time.

DR – July 16, 2017

On July 16, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 16, 2017:

Daily Reflection

“A MEASURE OF HUMILITY”

In every case, pain had been the price of admission into a new life. But this admission price had purchased more than we expected. It brought a measure of humility, which we soon discovered to be a healer of pain.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

It was painful to give up trying to control my life, even though success eluded me, and when life got too rough, I drank to escape. Accepting life on life’s terms will be mastered through the humility I experience when I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, as I understand Him. With my life in God’s care, fear, uncertainty, and anger are no longer my response to those portions of life that I would rather not have happen to me. The pain of living through these times will be healed by the knowledge that I have received the spiritual strength to survive.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, More About Alcoholism, pg. 34~

Keep It Simple

We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
—Will Rogers

Humility is being thankful for the chance to watch the parade. There were days we thought that all that counted were the heroes. But our program has no heroes. It has many fine, spiritual people. . . but no heroes.

When someone is needed to make coffee or pick up after a meeting, we can be willing to do those things. Let’s look at doing these little jobs as our way of looking for a good spot on the curb. . . .to watch the parade! The floats are so colorful, and the bands play so loud!

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me be proud of who I am, instead of always putting myself down because I’m not who I “should” be.

Action for the Day:
I will look and help someone today. Service to others is service to my Higher Power.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You don’t want to perform in public today, but circumstances might require you to be in the spotlight anyhow. Fortunately, you possess enough confidence to do what is expected of you, regardless of your personal preferences. Once you overcome your initial resistance, you could even enjoy being the center of attention for a while. Don’t overreact to any specific event; instead, observe your changing feelings as if they were the color palette on your next painting.

Time Off for Myself

On July 15, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Finally, I have some time off for myself. I have already written how I have worked my arse off (going in early two days, doing two double shifts and working 12 days straight). By the Gods, I have been given the next three days off. Now the question is, what do I do not only to enjoy myself but to be productive at the same time.

I was supposed to have Thursday (7/13) and Monday (7/17) off. But with the current staffing issues at work, I was called into work Thursday. I could have declined but didn’t There was no guarantee I would get either Friday or Saturday off for my day off this week. Instead, I just bit the bullet and reported to work. A couple hours after reporting to work, I was notified my Saturday shift would be covered. A couple hours after that, my boss asked if I would accept a schedule change. She would give me Sunday off if I worked a double on Friday of next week. In the end, I got a three day weekend (Saturday through Monday).

One, I need rest. Yet, part of me doesn’t want to just sit in this house for three days. I could spend hours sitting in front of my computers for hours. But I want to do something different.

Here’s a list of things I need to do:

Get a haircut
Do laundry
Clean the kitchen
Put things where they belong
Create a budget
Re-connect spiritually
Buy groceries

Things I want to do:

Go to Tioga Downs
Play Achaea or Lusternia
Reformat my three other computers to start over
Explore around my new house
Go out for a hike

Tioga Downs is a local casino. I’ve never really liked it since it opened in June 2006. But I go there every once and a while. The last couple of times, I’ve won quite a large sum of money. But the reason I go is NOT for the money but just to have a good time. I have also accumulated points for free meals at the buffet, so a free meal is tempting too. Should I tempt fate today?

Achaea and Lusternia are text-character based games called Multi-User Dungeon/Dimension/Domain. I’ve been playing them since 2003 off and on. Over the years both games have changed dramatically, as MUDs are no longer popular games to play, almost forgotten except for the few that continue to play them.

What I really want to do is to reformat one of my computers. But again, this is not an easy task. Typically I get bored through the process or I get side tracked because I create a to-do-list a mile long. To be honest, I’m not sure if today is a good day since I’m so tired. I doubt I would be able to focus.

The weather has not been cooperative lately. For the last week, we’ve had powerful thunderstorms come through periodically. It’s been hot and humid. Right now it’s 68°F with cloudy skies, a slight cool breeze coming from the North. With no rain in the forecast today, perhaps I should just take a walk around the house or drive one of the various New York State forests for a hike? I just feel physically exhausted.

Lastly, I really need a haircut. My last buzz was in the middle of winter. Typically I get my haircut in the Summer and Winter. I’m way overdue. My head is beginning to literally look like a mop!! The problem – I have to drive 30 miles or more for a barber. The local barber has been closed every day when I pass by. I’ve called but there is no recorder, just a message, “Sorry we are closed, please call back later.”

It’s time to get off this arse. At the very least, take a shower and DO something. I’ve already lost track of time! I’ve missed my home group meeting at 12 p.m. There’s another thought – perhaps go to a meeting tonight, somewhere new?

Enough for now . . .

DR – July 15, 2017

On July 15, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 15, 2017:

Daily Reflection

PRIDE

For thousands of years we have been demanding more than our share of security, prestige, and romance. When we seemed to be succeeding, we drank to dream still greater dreams. When we were frustrated, even in part, we drank for oblivion. Never was there enough of what we thought we wanted.

In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap had been our lack of humility. We had lacked the perspective to see that character-building and spiritual values had to come first, and that material satisfactions were not the purpose of living.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 71

Time and again I approached the Seventh Step, only to fall back and regroup. Something was missing and the impact of the Step escaped me. What had I overlooked? A single word: read but ignored, the foundation of all the Steps, indeed the entire Alcoholics Anonymous program – that word is “humbly.”

I understood my shortcomings: I constantly put tasks off; I angered easily; I felt too much self-pity; and I thought, why me? Then I remembered, “Pride goeth before the fall,” and I eliminated pride from my life.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Bill’s Story, pg. 14~

Keep It Simple

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.—Kahil Gilran

We all need time alone. Then we can get to know our Higher Power better too.

When we were using chemicals, we were afraid of being alone. We didn’t want to think too much.
So we got high.

Now we know we’re never totally alone. Our Higher Power is with us. We can relax. We can rest.

We can think, read, and meditate. We can our own best friend.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me use my time alone to know myself better. Help me get to know You too.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll plan to spend two hours alone to get to know myself better. I could take a long walk, or enjoy a park, or my garden. What will I do, and when?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You may try to deflect some of your current feelings because you don’t want to put yourself in an emotionally vulnerable position. Although your preferences are very strong today, going along with someone else’s plan could be logistically less complicated. Nevertheless, it’s a smart idea to let others know what you want without expecting them to take responsibility for your needs. Transparency is the fastest route to intimacy.

DR – July 14, 2017

On July 14, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 14, 2017:

Daily Reflection

A NOURISHING INGREDIENT

Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 74

How often do I focus on my problems and frustrations? When I am having a “good day” these same problems shrink in importance and my preoccupation with them dwindles. Wouldn’t it be better if I could find a key to unlock the “magic” of my “good days” for use on the woes of my “bad days?”

I already have the solution! Instead of trying to run away from my pain and wish my problems away, I can pray for humility! Humility will heal the pain. Humility will take me out of myself. Humility, that strength granted to me by that “power greater than myself,” is mine for the asking! Humility will bring balance back into my life. Humility will allow me to accept my humanness joyously.

From the book Daily Reflections
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Big Book Quote

“The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did—then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen—Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, A Vision For You, pg. 151~

Keep It Simple

Most of the evils of life arise from man’s being unable to sit still in a room.—Blaise Pascal

Our program teaches us to slow down. We learn to slow down by taking time out. During these times-outs, we look at our values and see if we’re staying true to them.

Because of that, meditation is an important part of our program. It teaches us to slow down. Our Higher Power wants us to have fun and play. But we need to bring our Higher Power along. Remember, our Higher Power loves fun. We can have fun, but not at the expense of others.

Prayer for the Day:
I pray for help so I can remember my values. Higher Power, teach me to have fun. Teach me to be true to You at the same time.

Action for the day: Today. I’ll three times mischief has been good fun. I’ll talk with a friend about the difference between trouble mischief and fun mischief.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

It might seem like someone is shutting you down today before you get to speak your piece. Or, perhaps, your progress on a project encounters resistance, making you so frustrated you’re considering resignation. Fortunately, your deep reserve of tenacity will pull you through this momentary obstruction. You’re not in this for the quick buck; your long-term goals are your priority now and your patience will be tested. Ben Franklin wrote, “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

DR – July 13, 2017

On July 14, 2017July 14, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 13, 2017:

Daily Reflection

HUMILITY IS A GIFT, p.203

As long as we placed self-reliance first, a genuine reliance upon a Higher Power was out of the question. That basic ingredient of all humility, a desire to seek and do God’s will, was missing.

Twelve & Twelve, p.72

When I first came to A.A., I wanted to find some of the elusive quality called humility. I didn’t realize I was looking for humility because I thought it would help me get what I wanted, and I would do anything for others if I thought God would somehow reward me
for it. I try to remember now that the people I meet in the course of my day are as close to God as I am ever going to get while on this earth. I need to pray for knowledge of God’s will today, and see how my experience with hope and pain can help other people; if I can
do that, I don’t need to search for humility, it has found me.

Big Book Quote

“Everybody knows that those in bad health, and those who seldom play, do not laugh much. So let each family play together or separately as much as their circumstances warrant. We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 132~

Keep It Simple

A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother. —Benjamin Franklin

Many of us come from families that aren’t very healthy for us. Many families have lots of love but aren’t able to show it. Maybe our parents argued or drank too much. When we share our recovery with them, they may not seem happy with us. They may be doing the best they can, but they don’t understand our new way of life.

We can have the love we wanted, but it might not come from our family. We can choose healthy friends to be our new “family.” Some friends may seem like the sister or brother we always wanted.

A sponsor can give us advice we never got from our parents. We can have a full, healthy “family life” after all.

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me choose a good friend who will help me to be the best that I can be.

Action for the Day:
The best way to have a friend is to be a friend. What will I do today to be a friend?

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Your bold aspirations of possible adventures aren’t usually part of the Crab’s character. However, you’re inspired to reach beyond the edges of your emotional safety and stretch your mind in the process. But don’t stop to consider if your plans are realistic or even possible; leave the concrete thinking for another day. Just explore every notion that pops into your head as if it were a path to your future without fretting over the logistics. Mason Cooley wrote, “Fantasy mirrors desire. Imagination reshapes it.”

DR – July 12, 2017

On July 12, 2017July 12, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 12, 2017:

Daily Reflection

GIVING UP CENTER STAGE

For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. . . . Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 70

Why do I balk at the word “humility”? I am not humbling myself toward other people, but toward God, as I understand Him. Humility means “to show submissive respect,” and by being humble I realize I am not the center of the universe. When I was drinking, I was consumed by pride and self-centeredness. I felt the entire world revolved around me, that I was master of my destiny. Humility enables me to depend more on God to help me overcome obstacles, to help me with my own imperfections, so that I may grow spiritually. I must solve more difficult problems to increase my proficiency and, as I encounter life’s stumbling blocks, I must learn to overcome them through God’s help. Daily communion with God demonstrates my humility and provides me with the realization that an entity more powerful than I is willing to help me if I cease trying to play God myself.

Big Book Quote

“We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 46~

Keep It Simple

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.—Benjamin Franklin

We all want to be loved. and no matter how much we’re loved, we always want more. How can we be lovable? What does the mean? Should we try to be perfect? Should we act cute and helpless? No, being lovable means that we act ourselves. We let others get to know us. When others love us, we enjoy it. We tell them. We let them know that their love isn’t wasted on us, that it’s important to us. We are lovable, and we are loved!

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me accept the love of others today. Help me be lovable.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list all the little things others do that show that they care for me.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

Although you prefer the familiarity of your daily routine, you might feel a sudden urge to break free from your safe and secure world. However, it’s not likely that you’ll quit your job and head overseas today, even if you’re struck with a seemingly incurable case of wanderlust. Follow your instincts to widen your horizons by learning about a subject that’s outside your regular sphere of reference. Attorney Gerry Spence wrote, “I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.”

The Current State of Affairs

On July 11, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Personal

It’s been over a week since my move into my new home. I have been doing nothing but work, work and work some more. Since I’m much closer to work it gives me an opportunity to pick up shifts for some extra needed money. Remember, I moved in with literally nothing. There is a cost for my decision. How things have quickly changed from peaceful and serene to a state of restlessness, irritability, and discontent.

heart_20170709 Sunday of last week I picked up this cutie from my Sponsor. Her name is Heart. She’s 19 years old (supposedly). “Grandpa” (as I now call my ex-Sponsor) could not care for her anymore. How I quickly forgot the responsibilities of a kid in the house! It cost me nearly $50 to get her all set up in the house. She no longer has to fight with her sister over food and can get all the love in the world from me (if I were home). This picture represents the stare I get in the morning when I’m sitting on the floor, typing on the computer and she wants attention. What am I to do but oblige! She’s irresistible. But she misses her sister dearly, as she howls in the middle of the night but

But at times she can be the devil too! She misses her sister dearly or me howling in the middle of the night. Thankfully that behavior is diminishing. She also likes to wake me up between 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. because she wants to be fed. Yesterday I ignored her, so she began to lick my nose until I woke up! Lastly, anytime I’m awake it’s all about her, “Dad, I want loves …” **purr, purr** . I feel bad for leaving her for so long sometimes.

It’s just “the same shit, different day” at work. Last week, I worked 10 hours overtime. I am also working a total of eleven days straight before I get a day off. I’ve come in early and did a double shift (16 hours) the other day. This is my fault because I told them I was available. Therefore, I’m simply doing as agreed.

frustrationaltanaka I’ve tried, as much as possible, to ignore the whining of my co-workers. But when you have competent residents who start to act like children, it can get overwhelming. I’ve talked to three residents, who others simply ignore, reminding them there are sixty residents in the building and their behaviors are rude, disrespectful and getting quite annoying for someone as old as them. I wasn’t mean nor yelling, I was just stern. It seemed to work in the last 24 hours. On the other hand, I’ve been told by various employees and residents how much they appreciate all the hard work I put in. Some are thinking of going to the Administrator (who I haven’t even met) to let her know of my dedication to the job. I don’t expect anything. I’m there because I like my job, despite the constant obstacles and I truly care about the well-being of my residents, as a CNA should be.

Lastly, I have begun to get to meetings again. It hasn’t been consistent but I’m going. The meeting I have gone to I’ve made my home group. There isn’t much a choice for a Sponsor, so I’m going to wait until I get to other meetings. My home group is very receptive to my knowledge and experience of the program.

I know things will work out in time; I just need to practice patience. As they say, “God will only put enough on your plate that you can handle if you let Him.” I’ve experienced it, so I truly believe it.

DR – July 11, 2017

On July 11, 2017 By mikeykjrIn Daily Recovery Readings

Daily Recovery Readings for July 11, 2017:

Daily Reflection

A TURNING POINT

A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have.

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 75

Either the A.A. way of life becomes one of joy or I return to the darkness and despair of alcoholism. Joy comes to me when my attitude concerning God and humility turns to one of desire rather than of burden. The darkness in my life changes to radiant light when I arrive at the realization that being truthful and honest in dealing with my inventory results in my life being filled with serenity, freedom, and joy. Trust in my Higher Power deepens, and the flush of gratitude spreads through my being. I am convinced that being humble is being truthful and honest in dealing with myself and God. It is then that humility is something I “really want,” rather than being “something I must have.”

Big Book Quote

“Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts, they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But

they often suspect they are down for the count.”

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 23~

Keep It Simple

If you would be loved, love and be lovable.—Benjamin Franklin

We all want to be loved. and no matter how much we’re loved, we always want more.
How can we be lovable? What does the mean? Should we try to be perfect? Should we act cute and helpless? No, being lovable means that we act ourselves. We let others get to know us. When others love us, we enjoy it. We tell them. We let them know that their love isn’t wasted on us, that it’s important to us. We are lovable, and we are loved!

Prayer for the Day:
Higher Power, help me accept the love of others today. Help me be lovable.

Action for the Day:
Today, I’ll list all the little things others do that show that they care for me.

Daily Horoscope – Cancer

You hope that the current noise at work will give you a chance to go unnoticed for stretches of time today. You like the idea of slipping beneath the radar now as if you’re on a stealth mission. Nevertheless, you’re not as invisible as you think because your behavior influences others. There are many ways to impact your future and leading by example is one of the smartest strategies in your playbook these days. Picasso said, “Action is the foundational key to all success.”