Last Night – I Hope!

Tonight should be the last night in this house. Tomorrow if all goes well I’ll be moved into my new home. Then again, I might sleep here tomorrow night depending on circumstances. One thing in sobriety I have definitely learned is – I have no control.

Part of me still wants everything lined up just right, all my ducks in a row, to make sure things go smoothly. However, when I do and things turn out differently I’m terribly upset. This is always the case. Instead, I can make plans but I don’t expect anything. It’s interesting this comes up because two years ago today my old Sponsor passed away unexpectedly. He was the one who said all the time, “Mike if you expect things to happen you’re way, you’re only going to be disappointed.” Those words still ring bells in my head all the time.

I’ve made arrangements to have a staff member help me move (just drive) all my stuff in one trip to my new home. Already I’m thinking if things fall through I’m not going to be a happy camper. Matter of fact I’ll blow up at ’em all! I have to keep telling myself, “Don’t get yourself in a tizzy about something which hasn’t happened yet.” It’s an old behavior, actually a really annoying behavior, I’m working on to change. But change does take time. I can hope tomorrow’s events go smoothly.

Besides I still have my current place to fall back on for a couple of days. First, I haven’t received my Internet/cable box at the new place. If it arrives tomorrow, I’m set. Honestly, I don’t want to be stuck in the new place without some entertainment to keep me busy. On the other hand, I bought a bed-in-a-box which needs to be taken out and “rested” so it fills out. After I move it to the new place, I can pull it out of its box and let it “rest”, sleep at the old place, then Tuesday night say my goodbyes to the old place. I rather not sleep on the floor at the new place on the first night either.

I’m ready to go. Let’s hope for a speedy and smooth move to my new home. But if there are bumps along the way I’m just going to have to handle them one at a time. All I can do is hope for the best.

I’m actually surprised my anxiety is going through the roof!

6 thoughts on “Last Night – I Hope!

  1. thesoberraccoonreturns

    I hope everything goes well with your move. I find myself sometimes getting worked up about things that haven’t happened yet too. Admittedly it would be annoying if you haven’t got cable – but ringing the company to make sure it’s all set up is about the most you can do on that one. I’d say the bed is the most important thing to do first! (which you have sorted. Love the idea of a self-resting bed by the way 😂👌🏻) In the past when I have moved house, as long as I have the bed sorted and tea/coffee making kit set up, everything else can come after. Your old sponsor sounds wise, sorry to hear he passed away 🙁 Take care, try and turn that stressful move into an exciting adventure 😊🏡

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re really growing, broski. Keep it up… eventually you’ll realize you don’t even have to hope things go off without a hitch. You’ll just ask for the strength to handle things as they come. That’s when you’ll fully grasp that lesson. Just keep up with the progress, brother. You’re doing great!

    And remember, now that you’re moving into your own place, this is the time to pick up a few more meetings and two phone numbers. This step isn’t easy, man. I’ve been there. Just do the next right thing. I’m happy for you man.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jim. I did just that – asking for strength to handle things as they come! Meetings are hard to come by because of my schedule. Right now with COVID-19, I attend two or three a week via Zoom.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This could read shitty, it is NOT meant that way. Two or three isn’t enough. Not with the new changes in your life and with your past. Find a way to bump that up to five. There’s a 24 hour a day zoom meeting, if you need the numbers let me know. Do five for six months, then cut back to 3 or 4… I’m applying my own experience to this. When I moved early on, I needed more meetings. I had to make it happen.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You do speak the truth, so I’m not offended. I’m still getting settled in. Just moved my other roommate to his new apartment this morning. I actually have a plan to start searching for a daily meeting at a convenient time once I get back on a regular schedule. So I’m right with ya. Meetings are important when major changes in our lives happen, I 150% agree!

        Liked by 1 person

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